Drabble #27: Ways To Get Kicked Out of Walmart

Prompted by: Ajluv

Eddie

I was fingering a piece of paper that I slipped into my pocket. Yacker stood next to me a worried look on her face. "Why are we doing this again?" She groans. I laugh, and pull out the piece of paper. '100 Ways To Get Kicked Out of Walmart' it reads. I smirk at this. Patricia and I had already hand picked 10 favorites of ours, and were going to proceed with them in a few minutes. We both step into Walmart, as I read the first one we have chosen:

"Number nine: When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin narrow aisles. Let's get this started." We go and find a thin narrow aisle, and go in front of people, walking a slow as possible.

"Excuse me? Could you walk a little faster?" The person behind us snaps.

"Sorry, we're just really sore. Too much football, ya know?" Patricia answers. We repeat this to a few other people, then step off to the side to review the list.

"Number twelve, play with the automatic doors." Patricia reads, and we both smirk. "Easy enough." She shrugs. We walk to the front of the store, proceed to doing do.

"Let me get that for ya ma'am." I exclaim, placing my foot down, and watching the door open.

"Erm, thank you?" She responds. I glance over to Yacker, who is constantly jumping up and down on the mats, causing the doors to snap open and close. I mouth 'next.' To her, and we make our way over to a different area of the store.

"Number thirteen: Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. see if they play along to avoid embarrassment." I read, and burst into laughter.

"Come on." She says, pulling me by the arm. I smile at her, as we approach a woman who looks to be in about her mid-thirties.

"Oh my gosh! Is that you?" Patricia practically squeals, and goes over to the woman, hugging her.

"Do I know you?" She asks uncomfortably.

"You don't remember me?" Patricia asks, like she's about to cry.

"Sorry." She says weakly, exiting the store. We both burst out into laughter. Next I approach a man who looks like he's about his fifty's or sixty's.

"Hey! I know you! Since when did you move back here?" I ask. He looks around, and then replies:

"Just a few months ago actually, my wife and I decided it was about time we move back. Well, I have to go now." He says.

"Why don't you call me later? We can meet up okay?" I smile, looking like an idiot.

"Yeah... I'll do that..." As soon as he is gone, we both burst out laughing.

"Now, put M&M's on layaway." I read. We both go to a checkout counter, and grab a bag of M&M's tossing then on the counter. "Can I out these on layaway?" I ask, trying to keep a straight face. The cashier looks at me like I'm crazy, but responds :

"Erm, yeah sure." We thank her, and go back to a different part of Walmart. Next we end up moving the 'CAUTION: WET FLOOR.' Signs to the carpet, and after we spend about fifteen minutes playing with the calculators so that they all spell: 'hello' upside down.

"Alright, number 46: The ultimate test of sleuth, I joke. When someone steps away from their cart, take off with it without saying a word." She reads. We go over to an aisle, where an old lady is looking at vitamins: shocker. I swiftly push the cart out, and down another aisle. "I guess Sibuna pays off, doesn't it?" She asks with a smirk. Lastly, Patricia and I stuff our pockets with any and every free sample we can manage, and press all the 'try me' buttons.

"Alright: number 101, Makeout with your girlfriend to make people uncomfortable." I smirk.

"That's not on the-" I cut her off by pressing my lips I hers, and just as we begin making out, a voice pulls us apart.

"Ahem." A worker starts. "There has been many customer complaints that two teenagers have been causing trouble in the store. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Patricia and I fake frown, but when we reach outside, we begin laughing historically.

Okay, a bit unusual of what I usually write, but whatever... It was a prompt! Okay! Haha lol... I think that I'll be asking questions after every chapter, so here's this chapter's:

What's been your favorite season of HOA so far?

Please answer;) Love you guys:)