Hi everyone and welcome to the twenty second chapter of this story. Since last two chapter were Brendan focused, this one will focus more on May so hope you enjoy.
Chapter 22- What Should I Do?
May woke up to the soft sound of the taillow chirping outside of her window. She definitely didn't wake up because the sun had made its way through her blinds and struck her right in her eyes.
She noticed that today there wasn't the obnoxious tapping at her window from her neighbor. This would probably mark months since he had stopped doing that and although May was relieved about not being woken up obnoxiously, she felt that the tapping had become part of her morning routine to the point where it just felt strange to not hear it.
Naturally her mother was already up and about as she could smell the scent of breakfast making its way onto her room. She pulled the comforter over herself as she contemplated about her actions for the past days.
When she visited the lab yesterday, Joshua had told her Brendan wouldn't be in the lab as much anymore as he was planning on leaving. May's heart skipped a beat at the news. Sure, Brendan had already given her an idea on when he would be leaving, but he never did give her a date on when it would be happening. She thought that the reason as to why he wasn't in the lab was because he was gathering all his supplies so he could head out.
If her younger self had seen the way she is now, she would think that she had grown to be a weird girl. When she was younger, the prospect of traveling around the region without the comforts of home seemed repulsive and she saw that she would never become a trainer. Unfortunately for her, when she met Brendan who talked about all the positive sides of traveling her views slowly changed. Now she had pondered about what she wanted to do once she grew up. There were many options out there she could take that wouldn't involve coming in contact with pokemon, but part of her yearned to interact with the creatures.
She never hated pokemon, other than Brendan's mudfish, and the couple of times she had traveled out of town to research pokemon were enjoyable. All the conflicting thoughts in her head kept her in a standstill. Part of her wanted to stay in town while part of her wanted to go see the wide world.
She got out of bed after her thinking session had been concluded and cleaned herself up in the bathroom. She headed downstairs where Max was reading a book Brendan had lent him. The book contained information on the history of the Hoenn region.
"Oh good morning sweetie," her mother greeted. She had just finished setting up the plates.
"Morning mom," May greeted. She made her way to her chair and took a seat.
"Morning sis," Max said, not taking his eyes away from the book.
"Morning to you too Max," she responded sarcastically.
"Any big plans for today May," she heard her mother say from the kitchen.
May paused for a second as gathered her thoughts. "Mom… actually there's something I need to talk to you about."
"Are you ready to get married?" she joked, faking a gasp as well, which caused the girl's face to turn a deep shade of red. Max snorted from behind the book as May sent him a halfhearted glare.
"No mom, don't joke like that. It's something really important!" she asserted.
Sensing the seriousness in her tone Caroline responded. "Oh dear, well why don't we discuss what's on your mind after breakfast?"
May managed a nod as her mother placed the breakfast plates in front of everyone. May was quick to eat her breakfast while everyone else ate at a regular pace. She was soon done with her breakfast as she wiped her mouth clean and went to place her plate on the kitchen sink. When she saw that her mother was still busy she decided to kill a bit of time by going back up to her room and change out of her pajamas. As she was changing, she noticed the red bandanna Brendan had given her on their first Christmas laying flatly on the table. She walked over to it and picked it up and wrapped it around her head. She wondered if Brendan had ever worn the white hat she had given him as she had never seen him wearing it before.
From there she made her way downstairs where the table was cleared. Max was still sitting on the table reading while her mother hand migrated to the sofa to watch television.
May swallowed then took a deep breath as she made her way over to her mother. She was quick to notice the young girl as she turned around giving her a bright smile and a questioning look. "So dear what did you want to talk about?"
May nodded and took another breath before sitting next to her mother. She stared at her fidgeting hands for a moment trying to gain the courage to ask what she wanted. Her mother's reassuring hand on her shoulder calmed her down only slightly before taking a deep breath, picking her head up to look at her mother's eyes.
"Mom…" she began rather uneasily. "What should I do?"
Her mother kept giving her a questioning look like she was having trouble comprehending the question. And she was in fact having a hard time with the question. After all May's question was vague and she didn't provide any details which it made it harder for the mother to figure out how to respond. She thought that at the moment it would be best to ask her for more details as that way she could give a better answer.
"What do you mean by that dear?". She patted her daughter gently on the shoulder.
"I mean like, what should I do for my future? At this point I don't know anymore. There's times when I want to go out there and travel, yet there's also times when I want to stay home all day and not even think of going out. There's times when I get this strange feeling in my gut when Brendan is around yet the same feeling is replaced with something else when he leaves. Mom what should I do?"
Her mother looked uneasy for a moment as she was scratching the side of her face trying to think of an answer.
Finally, she responded, "May sweetie, there's nothing to worry about. Your father I won't pressure you into trying anything that makes you uncomfortable so rest assured."
"Mom be honest with me. Was there ever a time when you were younger that you felt unsure on what you wanted to do? Like no idea at all?"
"May I know where you're coming from. I've been in your position before," she began. She watched as her daughter raised her head to look at her in the eye again.
"What do you mean mom?" she asked.
"May, you see when I was growing up, I didn't really have any dreams. I was stuck thinking that perhaps I would be stuck living with my parents my entire life since they had never really given me any sort of goal to aim for nor did I feel like making any goals. It's not that hate them or anything, just that it would been better to have them there to give me ideas on what I could be," she paused for a moment and then continued. "May there is one thing though that I am proud of doing, and that was breaking out of that shell of uncertainty and trying to find my passion. I think that's exactly what you need right now, you need to break out of that shell to find what you want to do."
"But how can I do that mom? Like how did you do it then?" she asked.
"Well May it's going to be tough at first, but you will know your passion once you see it." She placed another hand on her shoulder. "May my passion came to me on a random day. My parents had taken me to see a play and when I saw those performers move on stage like that, I just knew that that was what I wanted to do. Of course, the road was tough, but once you find you want to do, you feel as if you're flying through the clouds."
From there she pointed to a trophy case lined with the many trophies Caroline had won when she was in the theater business. "May it makes me proud everyday when I think back of my accomplished dreams. It also makes me happy when I see you and Max each day healthy and happy. I don't regret for one moment leaving behind my passion to raise you two wonderful children," she said as she bought her daughter into a hug.
"Mom I still don't get it though," she said.
"Look at it this way, perhaps you're unsure on what you want to do because there is so much out there. Perhaps you wish to be a trainer, or a performer, or a baker, or a doctor, or a researcher and the list goes on and on. Perhaps there's external pressures coming from outside that are pushing somewhere you wish to not go, but as I said, maybe that push is what you need to find it. You know that spark that ignites a flame."
"So what you're saying is that I should review my options and pick out the best for me? That I should take a risk to see if it works?"
"Yeah let's put it that way," she joked. This earned a small smile from the girl.
"May there is something I want to ask you though," Caroline asked.
"What is it mom?"
"How do you feel about Brendan? You told me earlier that your stomach felt a strange feeling when he was around you and when he left? Care to explain."
May's face grew slightly red as she began explaining. She told her how the feeling would always appear when he was around. She described that it felt warm and comfortable. She had also told her how the feeling would soon turn to dread and loneliness once he was gone. She said that the second feeling was something that had been experiencing quite frequently, especially since the boy didn't spend as much time with May anymore. She said how sometimes she wished she could see him, but would fail to do so because he was busy with his work. And when they did meet, he would often act strange and awkward around her, like he wasn't his usual self.
Her mother could only offer a nod before a sly grin grew on her face. May knew exactly what was coming as her face had taken a deeper shade of red. "May…" she began. Her grin was growing larger as the seconds passed. "I think that feeling you told me about is love."
May stared at her mother with a blank look trying to comprehend what she said. Inside her mind a frantic war was being fought. There was the side that claimed that it was true while there was the side that denied it. Sure, she always thought of the boy as a great person, other than the facts he teased her, but wasn't love just pushing it. She did always feel safe and sound around him, but that didn't equal love did it? Did it? She looked back to her mother who was giving her that same smirk and realized that she had not said anything back.
"Is it mom? Is it really love that I'm feeling?"
"I don't know May, you tell me," she answered.
"But if it really is love and I confess and he doesn't feel the same then what then?" she asked with a concerned voice.
"May dear, if it really is love that you're feeling there, then you should gather the courage to tell him about it, who knows maybe he feels the same or not you never know."
"That's only an if mom, if he doesn't feel the same then our entire friendship could be destroyed," she exclaimed gloomfully.
"That's the biggest obstacle that comes with love, you never what the other person might feel. Think of it like climbing a large mountain to reach a goal."
"When should I do it then, if I feel that way then?" she asked. She was staring intently into her mother's eyes as she asked her question.
"That's for you do decide dear, but my guess would be before he leaves on his journey."
"That soon? I don-don't thi-think I could do it," she stuttered.
Her mother let out a long sigh as she bought May back into a hug. "Just follow what your gut tells you, I'm sure you'll be able to say it at the right moment."
"Thanks mom," she thanked. The sudden ring of a doorbell surprised the girl as she jumped up from the couch. "I'll get it," she said as she stood up to open the door. She clicked the door open to reveal a familiar face with messy brown hair. She noticed that instead of having the devil's mudfish on his head, a green wood gecko was sitting on it.
"Hey May," he said cheerfully waving his hand in a greeting. May was paralyzed at his sudden appearance to the point where she didn't respond back. "Hi Mrs. Maple and Max," he said about a second later.
"Hi Brendan," Caroline said. "What brings you here?"
"Hey Big Bro," Max said as he still had his nose in his book.
"Oh, I just need to show May something out in the woods," he said with a small blush growing on his face.
"Oh, you heard that May?" Caroline nudged her daughter. "So, when will you be back?" she asked when she noticed May looked shocked out her wits.
"Hopefully before sundown, it is a pretty long walk," he chuckled while rubbing the back of his neck.
"So will you come with me May?"
May snapped out of her stupor just in time to respond, "yeah sure why not?"
Brendan led May out of the town and into the woods. The warm spring air felt comfortable across her skin while the smell of flowers covered the area. Brendan had refused to tell her where he was taking her as he said it was a surprise and said he would even blindfold her if she kept asking questions.
They soon reached a large oak tree that May remembered from the time she had been chased the poochyena pack. Her skin slightly shivered as she recalled the memory but was brought of her flashback as a hand reached down to help her up. While she was lost daydreaming, she had failed to notice that her neighbor had already climbed the tree and was just waiting for her. She grabbed his hand and was lightly helped up in the branches. Like before she managed to make her way to where the boy was going with only minimal assistance.
"May if I remembered correctly I said I wanted to show you this view when spring arrived but I never got the chance to do so until now," he said as he sat on the same large branch they had sat on that day.
May took a seat next to him as she observed the sight in front of her. This time she was struck with complete awe. She saw large areas of the woods were colored pink by the cherry blossoms while the hills shone with multiple colors coming from the flowers. The sun was in the west side of the sky as it was already mid afternoon (It really was a long walk). A couple more hours and the sky would be tinted red and orange.
"It's beautiful," she managed to say through her amazement.
"Glad you liked it May, and I'm sorry about not showing you this view earlier," he apologized.
She turned to face him and shook her head, "there's no need to apologize, I know you've been busy and what not so I really appreciate you bringing me here."
He offered her a smile before he turned away as his face was looking uneasy. "Actually May, there's another reason why I bought you out here," he began.
She turned to look at him and she felt uncertainty creep up in her stomach. Her mind immediately started playing millions of colorful scenarios each with their own story and resolution.
"What is it?" she asked as she stared at the boy.
Brendan took a deep breath and put his hands on his knees. "May I know I never gave you the date that I would be leaving as I was also unsure myself so I would like to apologize for that. I just wanted to tell you that I would be leaving tomorrow," he said uneasily.
May stared at the boy for a second processing everything he had said. She knew that this day would be coming sooner or later but she was still unprepared to take in the statement. After a moment of awkward silence between the two May finally decided to give her input by enveloping her friend in a tight hug, a hug that might put a ursaring to shame. She noted that he had a pretty unique smell. He had a slight tint of antiseptic while also smelling a bit like… she couldn't describe it, but it felt a bit like apples and cinnamon.
"Brendan I…I...I…" she stuttered. She knew what she wanted to say but she just couldn't force it out.
"Brendan, I… I wish you the best of luck," she said eventually. She mentally cursed herself as she failed to admit her true feelings. Maybe it was for the best she thought. Maybe she would have held up his journey if she confessed and she didn't want to be responsible for him missing out on his dream.
"Thanks May," he responded as his own hug tightened around her. "I also wish you the best of luck."
May released herself from the hug and turned to look into his gray eyes. "What for?" she asked.
"For whatever you strive to be. For whatever your dreams are. No matter what they are I know you will be great," he said. May noticed the blush growing on his face and she could feel the heat rising to her face as well.
"You sure I'll be great?" she asked.
"Definitely, and if you decide that your dream involves pokemon, then just know that the lab and my dad will always be there to guide you."
"Thanks," she responded as he grabbed him into another hug. They stayed like that for a moment and climbed back down to head back into town. The sun had already begun to set when they reached the entrance and they said their goodbyes as they headed home.
May opened her front door to see her mother questioning her with prying eyes. May tried to ignore the sensation as she made her way to her room to think about herself. She soon plopped down on her bed and began to ponder on what she really wanted to be.
"So dear how did it go?" Caroline asked. She had made her way into her room carrying a large serving of dinner and set it on her bedside table. She then took a seat next to her daughter.
"Mom he's leaving tomorrow and I failed to tell him," she muttered. Caroline had helped pick May up and embraced her in a tight hug.
"Don't worry honey, I'm sure there will be other chances. Just look at me and your father," she joked. "It took me months for me to finally confess how I felt, so I'm sure you'll have other chances," Caroline reassured.
"Thanks mom," May replied as she grabbed her dinner and began eating.
"Why don't we see him tomorrow then? I'm sure he would love to see you before he leaves."
May managed a grin and a nod as she continued eating her dinner.
Get it together man, Brendan thought as he was laying down on his bed with his three pokemon laying on top of him. I know I said I wasn't going to try again but, I had the perfect opportunity there to tell her how I feel, but I chickened out at the last moment again.
"Gah!" he yelled as he stood up and messed up his hair with his hands. He sat back down after a moment and kept thinking.
I think it's for the best actually. I'm sure she doesn't feel the same and it would just be awkward if confessed out of nowhere and she didn't feel the same.
Zen had moved to whisper something to the two other pokemon. As soon as he was done, the three turned to look at the boy and started to make smooching faces.
Brendan's face had grown red in embarrassment and he threw his pillows at the pokemon which started an all-out pillow war in the room.
AN: honestly I found it extremely hard to write this chapter since I always have a hard time writing out issues such as growing up and guiding people, so I did my best. This chapter also gave another parent a bit of spotlight which is always nice and we got to see how May feels about her neighbor, although like him she also failed to get her point across. Not much else to say, so look forward to the next chapter and as Theiampinaylove asked in the last chapter, their separation is getting near =(.