As Luke got out of his car he seemed to be calm enough, but then Rayna noticed the copy of the magazine in his hands. She continued to sit on her front steps, feeling like it was better to hunker down than stand up for the inevitable fight she knew was coming.
He walked over and stopped in front of her kicking the dirt a little with his boot.
"I'm guessing you saw the article?" Rayna said trying to get straight to the heart of the matter.
"Please tell me that this hack reporter made all this stuff up, and that you didn't say these things about Deacon."
Rayna sat silently for a moment, then responded in a voice that seemed much quieter than her normal one. "He didn't make anything up Luke. I said those things."
Luke shifted his weight to the other boot. "I don't understand Rayna. If you feel all those things that you said in the article, if you still love him, why the hell did you pick me all those months ago when he gave you the chance? I asked you over and over again if the two of you were done, and you said yes. But reading this article, this doesn't seem like done Rayna."
Rayna looked up, tears once again streaming down her face. "I don't know, I was scared I guess. He and I, we're just too much sometimes you know. We're too passionate, too much in love, we lose ourselves in each other, and in the past it hasn't ended well, I was scared that it would be the same way this time."
"So you picked me, the safe option, the man who you're not passionate about, who doesn't make you feel butterflies when I walk in a room?"
"I love you Luke, I do, but he's a part of me that isn't ever going away."
Luke laughed to himself realizing that he could no longer deny the thing he suspected was lurking just below the pretty polished surface of Rayna since he'd met her.
"Even if you felt that way Rayna, why tell that reporter? Why embarrass me in that way in front of 5 million people who read that goddamn magazine."
Luke waited for an answer, but Rayna just looked down and shook her head. "Give me it back," he said
"What?" She asked looking up with confusion.
"The goddamn ring Rayna. Give it back to me."
Rayna looked down at the ring a moment on her hand.
"You don't think I'm actually going to marry you after this do you?
Rayna looked down again and shook her head. Then she slid the ring off her finger and handed it back to Luke.
"I never meant to hurt you Luke. I really didn't, but we both know it hasn't been working out the way that we hoped it would. The kids are miserable and acting out, you and I are rarely on the same page about anything anymore. It's just never felt right. Maybe we should just stop trying to pretend like it'll all be okay when we get married. I've already done that."
"So what? This was your hail Mary? Your attempt to break things off before you made another marriage mistake? You didn't have the guts to just talk to me about it?"
Rayna looked away embarrassed. "I told you I'm sorry. I didn't intend to tell him about Deacon and I, but he was going to write about Maddie, and all the trouble she's been getting in lately, and he said he wouldn't do that if opened up about Deacon."
"You could have lied you know. You could have told him what he wanted to hear without making me look like a fool."
"I'm done lying Luke. I lived my life for 13 years afraid of a lie, I'm not going to do it anymore." Rayna wiped a tear away from her cheek. "What should we tell the press?"
"I think there's very little to say after that article, but my team will handle it. I think your team has already done enough."
Luke stuck the ring in his pocket and threw the magazine down at Rayna's feet. "Nashville is a small town, I'm sure I'll be seeing you, but I'd appreciate it if you'd keep a wide birth."
Rayna nodded her head as she watched Luke hop back in his truck and peel out of the driveway. Rayna stood up and headed back into the house. She curled up on the couch and once again started crying.
##
A couple of hours later when Maddie and Daphne came home from school, Rayna was still curled up on the couch.
"Is everything okay mom?" Daphne asked.
Rayna sat up and wiped her eyes. "It's fine babies, but come sit down. I have some news. There isn't going to be any wedding next week. Luke and I aren't getting married."
"Is that because of what you said about dad in the article?" Maddie asked.
"Oh, so you read that?"
"Yeah, it was being passed around my high school. Everyone wanted to know if you and dad are going to get back together."
Rayna sighed. "Well you can tell them that's none of their business."
"It's our business though right?" Daphne asked.
"Of course sweet girl, but right now I don't even know what Deacon thinks of all this, but I'll be sure to keep you ladies updated if anything changes okay?
"Okay."
The girls ran up to their rooms to work on their homework, talk on the phone, and whatever else pre-teen and teen girls do on a Monday afternoon. Business as usual in the Jaymes/Conrad/Claybourne household.
##
A couple of days later the girls were at school and Bucky had called letting her know everything was running smoothly at the label during her week long sabbatical. She was supposed to be taking this time off to get things ready for the wedding, but now it was just a regrouping of sorts. She was working on a song in her house when she decided she needed some fresh air. She hopped in the car and drove to the only place she could think to go where she knew she'd find peace and solace.
She pulled up by the bridge and parked her car, careful to climb over the old stone wall. She saw him from behind almost the moment she landed on the dirt. He was sitting there on the picnic table just the way he always was. She paused for a moment not sure what she'd say when she reached him, but then she took a deep breath and walked on.
"Hey," she said as she sat down next to him on the table.
He glanced to the side at her without really turning his head. "Hey."
"How long have you been sitting here?"
"Oh, about twenty-minutes I guess. I've been coming here a lot lately, mostly to think."
"Yeah, that's why I came too. It reminds me of when we were kids. Do you think our initials are still carved in that old tree over there?"
"We carved 'em with a knife Ray. If the tree's still there, the initials are still there."
Rayna laughed. "Of course, how silly of me." She got quiet a minute, then when she saw he wasn't going to speak… "Did ya read the article?"
"Did anyone in Nashville not read that article? I feel like everywhere I went the last few days someone was either shoving it in my face or had a copy tucked under their arm. If you wanted to sell magazines you sure found a way to do it."
"Deacon, I didn't…I didn't know that's what the article was going to be about."
"But you told the reporter those things?"
"Yes, but, I told him a lot of other things too. Are you mad at me?"
"I'm just confused Rayna. Back in the day when we were kids we made a pact that we would never air our dirty laundry in the press. No talking about our relationship. When that guy called me to discuss you and me I hung up on him, cause that's what we said we'd do. So, why the desire to share now? Why'd you want to talk to him about this instead of talking about it in private with me?"
"I don't know, it just all came spilling out. I didn't mean for it to cause so much trouble." Rayna reached out and put her hand on top of Deacon's. He looked down where they made contact making an observation. "No ring anymore, huh?"
"Yeah, he took that back soon as he saw the article. It was a mistake. I've known it for months, but you know me, I'm was too goddamn stubborn to admit it."
"Like that time we drove all the way to Ashville instead of Atlanta cause you didn't want to admit you'd taken the wrong exit while I was asleep?"
"Ashville was beautiful that time of year. It was more of a happy accident than a mistake." Rayna smiled and squeezed his hand. All of a sudden she notice that Deacon was crying and the smile faded away from her face and was replaced with a look of concern. "You really hurt me you know?" he said still staring out at the water.
Rayna nodded her head. "I thought that if I could just pull it together, and be that guy, get over my addictions, not let them hold me back anymore. If I could get to that place that we'd be able to be together. The one thing in life I've always been sure about is that you loved me, and if I could just be that guy that you wanted, everything would be okay, but I am that guy Rayna. I was that guy five months ago when I proposed, when I reached out for you, trusting that you'd be there to take my hand, the way I've always trusted that you'd be there for me, and you weren't. You let me fall. You chose another man over me. I understood all those years ago with Teddy. I was a mess back then, but now? I just don't get it Rayna."
Tears slowly slid across Rayna's cheeks glistening as they dripped to the table. "I was scared. I'm still scared."
"So am I Ray, but that doesn't mean that I would have given up on us. You gave up on me, I'm just not sure I can come back from that with us."
Rayna leaned into him wrapping her hands around his arm and pulling him close. She rested her head on his shoulder while she ran her thumb and forefinger over his bicep. "I'm with someone else right now Ray you know that."
"I know, I'm not asking you for anything. I know being engaged to Luke all these months has put a strain on our relationship. I know it's been hard where Maddie's been concerned, but I don't want it to be like that anymore. All I'm asking right now is that we work as a team again, you and me, raising our daughter like we talked about. Whatever else comes of it, well that's just for the future to know and us to find out. Okay?"
Deacon looked down at her and kissed the top of her head. "Okay." Then he turned back to the water and the two of them sat in silence for the next hour watching the winter breeze play with the currents in the river.