I'm so sorry that last chapter wasn't really a chapter, but I felt it was important. I'm also sorry that I haven't posted in so long. I had some writers block, and would come on my document and stare at it for like ten minutes and get one sentence down then give up.

But that one comment dragged me back to my fanfiction world, and got me on the ball again.

Update on my depression and life and shit: I had a couple really bad relapses but then I started talking to this guy I have known since 6th grade and now were dating and he makes me really happy because I am most definitely in love with him so he's been helping me a lot with my depression.

It's hard to be sad while talking to him because he just makes me so damn happy.

Anyway, other than my boring love life, I'M BACK! I'm planning on updating more regularly again.

Comments: I apologize to berex14. I'm sorry last "chapter" wasn't a chapter, but I felt that I needed to get that out there. Shout out to Deannathefangirl I'm glad someone agrees with me about the attention whore thing, thank you for commenting, your awesome. Please post your Sebastian stories, don't worry about them sucking, I don't believe anyone's story really "sucks" and I would love to read them. If you do end up posting them please pm me the title and I will definitely check them out I love Sebastian stories.

Now, LET THE FANFICTION COMMENCE! *cheers and applause* *that one person who does the whistle* *that one person doing the whistle not being me because I am one of those loser people who still can't whistle no matter how hard I try* *bleeping out cusswords sign thing becoming very off topic because I have this very severe diagnosis by my doctor named Mr. Zebra Print Bean Bag that sits in the Corner of my Room that I can't write author's notes without getting distracted with random shit* *oh look a butterfly*

Adalyn burst through the door of the New York institute. She just needed to get out, get away. She didn't pause to gape at the large run-down cathedral she exited, or stop for more than a moment when she squeezed through the gap in between the two large iron gates and into the hustle and bustle of the city.

She pushed and shoved her way through the crowd, feeling the prick of tears in her eyes, but quickly rubbed them away with the back of her hand.

She didn't even know why she was so upset. She had only met him a week ago. He was just a stupid boy, who actually made her feel important and wanted for once, and consoled her at her darkest times, and cared about her more than most people, and earned her trust enough to actually let in, and-

Oh fuck, who cared. He was a monster and a liar.

Now the tears were coming too fast to stop them. Her breath came in short gasps and the pieces of her cracked heart wanted to jump outside of her chest. Her legs quivered with exhaustion and her face was hot and blotchy. She stumbled into an alley way away from the people and leaned against a smelly green dumpster.

She rested her head against her arm and waited for her breathe to come back. Everything seemed surreal. The world swirled around her and the colors blended together like a filter in Photobooth. She had stopped sobbing but the tears still silently cascaded down her cheeks, dripping down her chin and splashing in salty puddles on her shirt.

A wave of regret surged through her. She had acted rashly by tearing off out of the building she was in with Sebastian, crashing haphazardly through the city streets and losing her way. She had no money, and no phone, didn't even know what city she was in, and left the only familiar face for thousands of miles behind. She couldn't even backtrack because during her mad dash she had completely left all five of her senses to the dust.

She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten or drank anything, and the lack of consumables was taking its toll on her. She dropped to the ground, curled up in a ball, and closed her eyes, letting the darkness wash over her.

…..

Jace stood shell shocked at Isabel's motionless body. His pale gold eyes were wide, for once his words were locked in his throat. Clary let out a noise like a wounded animal and clumsily lunged toward her dead almost-sister. Tears leaked out of eyes and dripped down her cheeks. She fell to her knees by Isabel's side.

Jace looked up at Sebastian, and his face hardened. His hand went for the seraph blade at his belt, but before he could even light it, Sebastian had twisted his ring and disappeared.

…..

Adalyn dimly felt someone touch her arm. Slowly her consciousness crept back to her and her eyes fluttered open, revealing a sneaker. She rubbed her eyes to try to wipe away the salt that glued her bottom and top eyelashes together. Slowly the bottom of someone's jeans came into view as long with the ground and walls of the allyway.

With effort, she forced her stiff neck muscles to allow herself to lift her head enough to see whose face belonged to the sneaker, and took in an attractive brown-haired guy with a square jaw and gelled up hair.

"Hey," he said. Although his voice wasn't as deep as Sebastian's, it was still rich, with strong undertones of concern. "Are you okay?"

Adalyn laid her head back down on the cold concrete. It helped clear her mind a little bit.

No, she was definitely not okay. She opened her mouth to say something, but only a small noise came out. She gave up and closed her eyes again. She was too tired to speak. Her breath still came in rasps, strands of her hair stuck to her cheeks with remnants of tears. Her back was cold with sweat, her shirt scratchy against her skin. Her legs were killing her and her feet felt like there were ten pound weights attached to them.

She felt arms come around her, and suddenly she was airborne. Her head rested against a well-muscled warm chest. She could hear someone's heartbeat underneath the thin cotton shirt. Based on the slight constant rocking, she assumed whoever held her was walking. She let out a thin sigh and drifted back into blissful unconsciousness.

…..

Sebastian had never felt so horrible in his entire life. Even the pain of when Valentine died, or when his sister rejected him, or when Jace was stabbed with Glorious and their connection was broken and he was alone again, could not compare with the crushing sensation that was going on within his chest then. He felt as if someone had a hand gripped firmly around his heart and had wrenched it out of his chest. A lump the size of his fist was lodged in his throat, his stomach was twisted and tied in intricate knots, and he felt as if someone had planted a bomb in his skull and it had just detonated.

Never in his whole life had he felt so much pain.

Adalyn thinks I'm a monster. Adalyn hates me. Clary was right. She's scared of me. She can't stand me. And I was so close, so damn close. But I ruined it.

He couldn't get her scream out of his mind. He kept replaying her look of utter horror on her face when the dagger slide through Isabel's chest and she fell to the floor. She had turned and ran, and now he had no idea where she was. She could be in danger, she must be hurting, scared maybe, most definitely lost. She probably doesn't even know where she is.

And it's his fault.

He had been so close to having her. He had never felt the way he felt with her than he felt with anybody else. She was perfect for him, his only matching puzzle piece, and he had gone again and fucked it up, like he always does. No wonder everyone hates him.

Adalyn hates him.

The way she looked at him that one day at lunch tore itself across his mind, causing a ripping sensation throughout his whole body so strong he physically shuddered.

A choked sound forced itself out of his throat.

For the first time in his life when he was feeling extreme negative emotion, he didn't want to kill somebody.

Well, that wasn't technically true, he would have been fine killing himself, something he had never before felt or had any desire in the slightest to do.

But other than that, he didn't have any urge at all to kill another person. In fact, the thought disgusted him. Killing someone is what turned Adalyn away from him. She didn't want him to kill other people, therefore the impulse wasn't there.

He had no idea where that concept came from. He never really had any regard to what others said or thought. His motto was always fuck them...

Until now.

This urge to make Adalyn happy, to want to see her happy, and to have her near him, around him, talking to him, was something very strange and foreign to him. And it now what was eating him inside. He hated it and loved it at the same time. It caused him so much pain.

Sebastian collapsed on his couch and groaned, the pain inside was almost unbearable.

Adalyn hates me.

That was the thought torturing him.

He rolled over so he was facing down, buried his head in his arms, and drifted off into an unpleasant sleep.