A/N: Thank you all for your most flattering reviews! Truly, you're the best! I'm afraid the heartache and emotional turmoil for our favorite couple is going to continue for a bit. But of course, it'll all be worth it in the end, which is still quite a few chapters away. Hope you enjoy!

ELENA

Convincing Bonnie to help Damon with his plan to free Katherine proved more difficult than I had expected. Bonnie was understandably unwilling to even consider it after learning that Damon had manipulated her in order to get his hands on the grimoire.

"You can't be serious!" she exclaimed when I told them about my talk with Damon. "I can't believe you're even suggesting that we help him after everything he's done! Besides, you told me yourself what kind of person Katherine was. We don't want to mess around with her, least of all bring her back. She probably still thinks that slavery is totally okay and that black people should be picking cotton on the fields."

I sighed. "I know it's not going to be easy."

"That must be the understatement of the month! Damon surely knows how to inflict misery, and I suspect he's enjoying himself immensely while doing so!"

"He isn't enjoying himself," I objected blandly. "He just saw no other way to get the help he wanted."

Stefan, who probably didn't want to side with Bonnie against me, obviously shared her view on this. "He could have asked..." he pointed out, careful to keep his voice neutral.

"And you, me or Bonnie would have volunteered to help him? Sorry, that's not very likely, and Damon knew that."

"Why do you keep defending him in the first place?" Bonnie asked, clearly at a loss to understand my sympathy for Damon.

"Well, firstly, because I think he's not all bad. He saved my life – at least twice. We owe him. Each and every one of us." I looked from Stefan to Bonnie, whose expressions told me that they knew very well what I was talking about. He had helped Stefan fighting his demons, after all, and he had saved Bonnie from our vampire attacker. We, on the other hand, had never done anything for him that put him in our debt. Granted, he had done some bad things, too, but even Caroline was now much better off than before his meddling. Still, he was always considered the villain. "Secondly, because I can understand his motives. He thought Katherine loved him so much that she changed him – so that he could spend eternity with her. And then, barely after turning him, she left – disappeared without so much as a goodbye, leaving him heartbroken, feeling betrayed and – given the mess she created – most likely raving mad.

According to Alys, Damon spent the next 100 years hating her for that, trying to get over her. He never really found closure, expecting her to show up again any given moment. And just when he thought that he was finally over her, he suddenly learns that everything he believed was a lie – that it wasn't her who had wronged him, but the other way round.

He must have asked himself whether she had been desperately waiting for him to come to her rescue, wondering why he never showed up. She hadn't been the one who failed him – he failed her: by doubting her, cursing her name and then, finally, by moving on. What would you feel? Regret? Remorse? Guilt? The need to make up for it? And that's not even considering the fact that he loved her. He's suffering, Bonnie. I know he is. And he asked me for my help, which would make my third point."

"He asked you?" Bonnie skeptically raised her brow. "Like he asked me for gram's diary?"

"He didn't force me into anything. I'm not saying that he wouldn't have tried to, but this was my decision. But he'll need your help to make it work."

"I don't even know if I'll be able to help! I'm just a witch in training – I can call fire or make objects fly, but this... We are talking about high magic here, nothing to play around with. What if it goes wrong? Who knows what might accidentally happen?"

"Then we'll have to ask your grandma for help, too."

"Grams? You've got to be kidding me – she's never going to help him! Witches despise vampires, don't you know that?

"Do they?" Stefan quietly asked.

"Not all of them." Bonnie blushed in embarrassment and quickly bestowed a kiss on him.

"I think she might be willing to help," I maintained my stance, "if only for one good reason."

"Which is?"

"Because he's going to do it anyway – with or without us. You don't stop Damon from doing something he has set his mind on. What if he thinks he has to force her into helping him? He already used me as leverage, so do you think he'd have scruples about using you? I think we'd be better off knowing what he was up to than leaving him to his own devices."

"You think he might hurt Bonnie?" Stefan asked, alarmed.

"I think he'd do his best to make us believe he would hurt her if we came in his way." I looked at Bonnie, imploringly. If I couldn't convince her, there was no chance of persuading Sheila to help us, which would leave us with a heartbroken, guilt-ridden, ruthless vampire who was furious and most likely out for revenge.

"We should also consider Katherine's point of view here. Whatever deed she is guilty of – she surely didn't deserve to get more than a life sentence for it."

"What if she's out for revenge, wreaking havoc again?"

"Then we'll deal with it. Counting Elijah on our side, there are four vampires in town who could watch out for her or take her down if need be. Besides: Have you ever thought that she might be grateful instead of vengeful? Doesn't she deserve a second chance, too?"

"Wow, you should become a lawyer," Bonnie said, clearly impressed. "That was quite a speech of defense."

"Meaning you're going to help him?"

Bonnie sighed. "Meaning I'll talk to grams, okay? But I can't promise anything."

*'*'*'*'*'*

Meeting Damon again after our last encounter was awkward. What had happened between us... I had no idea what it meant to him. I didn't even know if it held any meaning for him at all. But after kissing him, I knew for sure that he meant something to me. There was no denying it or lying to myself. I felt very strongly about Damon, and those feelings were like nothing I had ever experienced before. Neither with Matt, nor with Stefan.

Somehow – and I really had no clue how he did it – I became this whole other person when I was around him. Rising to every challenge he put in my way, putting caution aside when he himself advised me to be wary, and turning down the voice of reason and solely relying on my heart and my gut feeling. I was constantly out of my comfort zone with him, but strangely, that didn't keep me from seeking his company.

I had no idea when or how it had happened, but Damon had gotten into my bloodstream like the infection he had claimed to be, making me dizzy, faint and feverish. It was like a roller coaster ride: thrilling, exciting and unreasonable, doing funny things to your stomach. Something you loved and kept repeating, even if it made you feel scared and sick. Stupid.

Especially since I knew it couldn't possibly go anywhere. Damon had already found the love of his life, and now he was about to get her back. All that was in it for me was a heartache and another hole in my life. And judging by Damon's commanding presence, it was probably going to be a rather big hole. I didn't want to feel that kind of loss ever again. It would hurt too much.

So I braced myself, erected walls that would hide the turmoil of feelings behind them and decided that I would simply forget about it. Pretend it never happened. Most likely, he would, too.

When Damon opened the door, I didn't even look at him. I just gave him a casual, greeting smile in passing and headed for the living room. Putting my jacket on the sofa, I finally turned, straightened my back and got right down to business – making it easy for him.

"So, I talked to Stefan and Bonnie, and Bonnie in turn spoke to her grandmother last night. It wasn't easy, but after explaining reasons, making promises, and appealing to the Bennett family honor, she managed to convince Sheila to hear you out..."

I finally lifted my head and met his eyes, finding him looking at me with a strange expression and a slight frown. He didn't say anything, though, which made me feel the urge to fill in the uncomfortable silence. "She's considering helping you," I rushed on. "But there is a condition: She wants to talk to you in person."

Damon still kept staring at me wordlessly, his arms braced in front of him, the muscles of his cheek twitching. Feeling uncomfortable, I nervously shifted from on leg to the other. I wished I knew what he was thinking.

He finally broke eye contact and turned his back on me rather brusquely to pour himself a glass of – hell, that was no bourbon. Unless he had switched his favorite drink for a Bloody Mary, this was something else entirely. Never before had Damon drunk blood in my presence. Why was he doing it now?

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, sounding vexed. "Does she expect me to crawl on my knees before her?" He snorted and faced me again. "I think not! You know, I could easily get what I want without asking!"

I took a breath and felt myself calm. His anger and scoffing was something I could cope with. It felt familiar. "Yes, you probably could," I said softly. "Or you could try a different approach this time and have a little faith in people. She just wants to make sure that you know what you're doing and to understand your motives. Maybe she even wants to strike another bargain. Can you blame her for that?"

He didn't say anything for a minute, obviously considering what must be a new concept to him. Then he downed the contents in one swig, put the glass aside and grabbed his leather jacket. "Fine. Let's go and talk to her."

I threw him a slightly puzzled glance. "You want to go and see her right now?"

"Is there a waiting period for this?" he asked snappishly. "Because if I understand correctly how that spell works, I'm a bit under pressure of a time-line here. Should Sheila – after this little interview – deny my application, I need to work out a plan B and find myself another witch before that comet is over Mystic Falls." He opened the door and looked at me expectantly.

"You want me to come with you?" I asked stupidly, still a little bit puzzled at the unexpected turn of things.

"Elena, you initiated the whole thing. It's because of you that she agrees to consider helping me in the first place, and it's your blood that's gonna be needed in the process. So I guess you're sort of in it, right? Or do you have other plans for the evening?"

"No," I said, pulling myself together. "It's fine for me. Let's do it."

The car ride back to Mystic Falls with Damon reminded me strangely of our trip to Fells Church – or rather our trip back home from there. Only that we had been much more relaxed with each other back then, if only for a while. Now, with all that had happened, so many things said and left unsaid, I was feeling unsure, undecided and oddly awkward. Damon kept his eyes on the road, which probably was a good thing since we were driving at a speed that under any other conditions would have been extremely reckless. It would have been even better if he'd also had both hands on the wheel. But he seemed totally at ease, at least with regard to his driving.

"Relax, Elena!" Damon finally said, looking at me askance and noticing how tense I was. "I'm not going to crash us. Vampire reflexes, remember?"

"I'm not scared," I said, and it wasn't a lie. I always felt safe with him, even when driving at about 90 mph on a highway.

"Then how come you're so tongue-tied all of a sudden?"

He had come to read me too well. "I don't know what to say. A lot of things have happened. It's a lot to take in."

Again, he threw me a brief glance. "We kissed. Now it's weird," he said, summing it all up in two short and simple sentences.

I decided to go for honesty myself. "It's not only that," I admitted, trying to explain what made it so confusing and unnerving to be around him, even before our kiss that had only complicated things further. "It's just that with you, I never know what to expect. I don't know if you want to kiss me or bite me, provoke me or protect me, sleep with me or feed from me."

The glance I got from him a moment after this confession was curious. "Yes," he said after a pause, "I don't really know that, either."

At least we had that: Honesty. Though Damon had been keeping things from me, he had never lied to me. And given that we didn't even have any kind of relationship that would have demanded sincerity and openness, I couldn't blame him for the secrets he kept. After all, I kept mine, too.

"So – provided Sheila is going to help you," I asked, feigning indifference "... and provided everything goes well and you manage to get Katherine out of he tomb... What are you going to do?" Meaning what's going to become of us? Is there even an us? And how did we end up kissing if there wasn't?

"I'm not much of a planner, Elena," Damon said, fixing his eyes straight ahead. "I'm probably going to take her away from here to get adjusted, and see what's gonna happen."

"Are you going to take her to your place in Fells Church?" I asked, briefly wondering why imagining her there annoyed me. I had spent, altogether, three days there – one of those without even being aware of Damon's presence.

"It's what I wanted to do back then. Persuade her to run away with me, abduct her, take her away from her unloved husband. I would have done it before everything happened, but there was a war to fight."

"How did you meet?" I asked. "Alys said you somehow ended up in Mystic Falls, wounded."

"I was a soldier in the Confederate Army. One day, me and another guy were sent out on mission that turned out to be a trap. My comrade was shot and killed instantly, I just went down and was thought dead. But I came round, and despite my injury somehow made it to the road that led to the hamlet of Mystic Falls. Katherine's father found me and took me to his home, where Katherine's mother nursed me back to health."

"Which you repaid by seducing her daughter?"

"On the contrary. Katherine seduced me. I was a young, almost innocent and inexperienced boy who thought that women must be the most fascinating and yet most intimidating creatures that walked the earth," Damon said, and it sounded only half jesting. After a brief pause, he soberly added: "You would have liked me back then."

"I like you now," I spontaneously said, and when he started to look smug again, quickly clarified: "Sometimes!" Damon still grinned and threw me another sideway glance.

"So, what happened then?" I continued my interrogation, watching his profile.

Damon shrugged. "We fell in love, I went back to war, and she got married to Benjamin Lockwood. I still came back for her as often as I could, secretly. Emily helped us, and so did Katherine's friend, Pearl. She even passed me off as a cousin, so that I was able to meet Katherine in public. Eventually, she told me her secret."

"Why did she turn you?"

"For multiple reasons. She wanted me to be safe, and not to die in a war that brought more and more losses for the South. She wanted to leave with me, and there was no other way we could be together forever. And I wanted nothing more than to be with her."

I briefly wondered why she hadn't taken off with him immediately after changing him. At that point, she surely must have known that she wanted to spend eternity with him. Had they left Mystic Falls then, none of it would have happened. She and Damon would have had their happily ever after. Maybe Damon had stalled – out of loyalty and duty to his country.

"But when you came back, she had just disappeared, and you were told all these lies..." I murmured, saddened by the unfortunate end of the love story. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Everybody deserved a happy ending. But all he had gotten was pain and grief and lies. "I'm sorry, Damon." Judging by the frown on his face he didn't understand what I meant. "For losing her and for losing your faith."

"Well, I'm about to get her back," Damon said, playing it light. "So there's no point in looking back, right?"

No. Indeed. Once this was over, I mustn't ever look back.

*'*'*'*'*'*

Sheila didn't seem surprised at our unannounced visit. One of the perks of being gifted, I guessed. Though there was an immediate, palpable tension between her and Damon, she graciously greeted us when she opened the door, but she didn't invite us in. Instead, she came out and sat down on the swing hanging from the front porch. I sat down on the railing next to her, while Damon remained standing, legs spread, arms crossed, a slight frown on his face. His very posture made clear that he had not come as a supplicant. If anything, he was here to negotiate.

In truth – just as it had been his intention with me – he wanted to make Sheila see reason and comply to his wishes willingly, because the only other option left for him would be to force her. And while this would have been easy to accomplish with me, she was likely to make it difficult for him.

I knew from Bonnie that there had been tensions between vampires and witches for centuries, though I couldn't really comprehend the reason. 'It's because we can feel the darkness in them in a way normal people can't,' she had tried to explain. 'Their aura rings out of tune – just like of those who practice black magic. That's because they draw their power from blood.'

I had wondered if that was also true for Stefan, and how she could cope with his tainted aura. 'It's not as bad with him yet,' Bonnie had said. 'He's not feeding on human blood that much – and the little blood he's been taking was my own. But I can still feel a shadow in him. A cold that has nothing to do with his capacity to feel, but with what he is.' Once more I was glad that I didn't possess any supernatural powers. How cold must Damon feel, if I did? If Sheila's body language was any indication, I definitely didn't want to know. She pulled her woolen cardigan closer around her shoulders, folding her arms in front of her chest. Of course, it might just as well be a response to the unvoiced challenge of Damon's similar pose.

"Why should I be helping you of all people," she inquired, her voice carefully void of emotion, "a dark one?"

"A dark one, huh?" Damon echoed, his mouth twitching slightly. "I like that!" He fixated her with eyes that would have sent most people running, or at least made them look away uncomfortably. Sheila didn't even blink. "Now, here are three good reasons why you should help me," Damon pointed out: "Firstly, because you owe me. Maybe not you personally, but your lineage. You know that! Secondly, because if you decide that you're out of this, Bonnie will be the only remaining witch around here that I know of. And though I will not harm her purposely, I can't guarantee that she won't come to harm in the process of helping me. Because helping me she will be, with or without you. And thirdly, because you might be able to protect yourself. But you can't protect Bonnie forever."

"Are you threatening my grandchild?"

"On the contrary! I like Bonnie. Aside from being slightly judgy, she's smart, she's courageous and she's loyal. She also happens to be Elena's best friend, and I respect that. I'm offering her my protection. I'm willing to renew the deal. As you well know, I wasn't the one who broke it last time..."

"Neither was I."

"See – that's why we have a sound basis for a fruitful collaboration!"

After careful consideration, Sheila agreed to help Damon open the tomb, provided that he took full responsibility for Katherine and got her out of Mystic Falls immediately. Otherwise, she'd put the hunters on their tracks, convincing him that this time, there would be no escaping them. Damon looked at her with surprise on his face. Even though he had asked for her help and had been arguing his point convincingly, he clearly had not expected Sheila to agree to any of this, especially not this easily. He still seemed puzzled by the time we were back in his car.

We were silent all the way back to the dorms, where Damon walked me up to the door and – for the first time since our meeting with Sheila – turned his gaze on me. I could tell that he was in turmoil, as if he had trouble putting all the thoughts going through his head together in a way that made sense.

"What is it?" I asked hesitantly, feeling that this was another one of these rare moments where I caught a glimpse of him that he carefully hid from people most of the time. It made me feel unsure of myself again.

"I keep searching for a catch," he said, seemingly somewhat at a loss himself. "A deeper intention behind her motives, something that escaped me. Even though she has every reason to hate me, she and Bonnie and Stefan still agreed to help me... I keep wondering, why?"

"It's what people do for friends," I said with a slight frown, not sure if it was one of anger or pity. Could he really be so ignorant of the concept? "Why are you so surprised?"

He gave me a thoughtful look, obviously pondering whether he should answer that. "Because they're doing it for you," he then said calmly, completely taking me by surprise. His gaze was unguarded, sincere. "Which means that somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth it. And I want to thank you for that."

I felt a lump rise in my throat. "Don't..." I muttered, looking away from him, trying to hide my turmoil.

"Don't what?" He reached out and put a hand on my cheek, turning my face back to him. "Elena?"

Don't thank me, I wanted to say. I had never wanted his gratitude. It was a poor substitute for what he couldn't give me. Taking a deep breath I got myself back under control. "It's like I said," I managed to say more firmly, holding up to his gaze. "People do that for people they care about. And you might as well stop behaving like you aren't worthy of it, because you know perfectly well that it's not true."

"Yes, it is," he insisted, completely serious. "I'm not a hero, Elena. I've done so many things that would shock you to the bone, and I'll keep doing them. Don't make me something that I'm not."

"I can't." I shrugged helplessly. "It's just the way it is, Damon: Different people see different things in you, and you're showing different aspects of who you are to different people. Some bring out the good parts, others bring out your worst. That's why we ought to surround us with people in whose company we like ourselves best."

"Yes," he agreed after a moment of contemplation, "that's what we ought to do. But it's not always that easy – for various reasons." Did he also wonder if surrounding himself with Katherine was going to bring out his demons again?

"I wished..." he said, abruptly breaking off the sentence. His expression that had been almost painfully open, closed again as he fought to rebuild his walls.

"What do you wish?" I couldn't help asking, hoping against all better judgement that he would say something that would make it all alright.

He shook his head regretfully. "Nothing. Good night, Elena."