Happy national kissing day! This chapter is in honor of this, as it was written on July 6th.
Reviews make writers happy. Happy writers give more frequent updates. If you like the story, let me know :) If you don't, tell me how I can improve, I always welcome feedback and constructive criticism. (Of course, blind worship and virgin sacrifices are good too, if you're especially dedicated.)
Chapter 8: Pizza Peril
Pizza. Alea missed pizza. That's why she decided to put that cooking class she took way back in junior high to good use.
When Alea asked Elanee if she'd be willing to gather a few extra ingredients, the druid's eyebrow shot up quizzically, but she did so willingly. As her only companion who was not either asleep or horribly hung over, Elanee was the only one who would be able to get everything she needed in time. Sunrise was coming soon, and Alea planned to share a little bit of proper American culture with her favorite moon elf. Sadly, she didn't have hot dogs, hamburgers, or even ketchup, but she did know a simple pizza recipe.
When Elanee returned, laden with cheeses and other assortments of ingredients, Alea finished her creation and set it in Duncan's old brick oven. She fought back a smirk when she saw the look of utter confusion on Elanee's face upon seeing her large, flat creation.
While she waited for her creation to cook, she sat in a chair to read. She'd swiped a novel off one of Sand's shelves. He'd told her it was a realistic fiction, but to her it read as a fantasy epic. Once again, she marveled at how much had changed the fateful day she had decided to play Neverwinter Nights 2 for the thirteenth time.
Slowly, the air around her began filling with the aroma of baking crust and warm tomato sauce. Taking a deep breath in through her nose, she smiled contently, turning another page.
This was the scene that greeted Sand as he came to meet her in the morning. The air smelled like something completely unfamiliar to him, although it wasn't offensive or unpleasant, like the Flagon usually smelled. Walking in, he noted the change in scent absently as his eyes fell on a gently smiling Alea, engrossed in the book she'd borrowed. Unbidden, the thought occurred to him that he could get used to that image. It was much like a masterful painting, lighting up the room significantly. He nearly rolled his eyes at the foolishness of that thought.
As he stepped forward to greet her, she heard his footsteps and looked up. Her face brightened when she saw him, "Sand! Good morning, you're right on time."
"Based on the fact that my nose is not being assaulted, I can assume that whatever is cooking in that kitchen is not of Duncan's doing."
Duncan, who had been tending the inn, heard him and shot Sand the stink eye, but said nothing.
She grinned and shrugged, "I may not be a master chef, but I know a few things. Stay there, I'll be right back." Alea darted behind the counter and into the kitchen. A few moments later, she was holding a slab of wood covered by a cloth. Walking to the door she said simply, "Follow me."
"As you wish," Sand replied dryly, wondering what in the world she was up to.
"This," Alea explained as they walked toward the city gates, "Is something we have all the time where I'm from."
"Ah yes," Sand mused sarcastically, "I have always wondered what slab-of-wood tasted like."
Alea grinned mischievously, "just you wait."
They exited the gates and walked a slight distance away into the surrounding woods. When they arrived at a clearing, Alea chose a shady tree and sat beneath it. Sand merely looked at her.
"Oh, come on, a little dirt never hurt anyone," patting the ground beside her she beckoned, "sit."
Grumbling under his breath in annoyance at sitting on the ground when his shop had a perfectly good table and chairs, she sat beside her. "So, what is this mysterious otherworldly cuisine?"
Her eyes lighting up, Alea grabbed the cloth covering their meal and revealed a flat, circular… something. "This," she announced proudly, "Is called pizza."
Sand looked at it, his nose wrinkling. "Indeed. Is it meant to be a cart's wheel, or do people where you're from use it to cushion their seats? It looks ill-suited to anything else," he gave her a wry look.
Rolling her eyes, Alea picked up a piece and held it out to him, "Just try it."
"Is this some form of punishment," he asked, "or has the constant threat of death in this world finally driven you mad?"
Deciding not to dignify this with a response, she simply held the piece of pizza right next to his face, "Open uuuuuup," she teased, speaking to him like he was a toddler.
Glaring at her, he tried to say something back, but the moment his mouth opened to speak she shoved the odd food right into his mouth. He sputtered and nearly gagged in surprise, not prepared for the onslaught of flavors. When Alea saw him trying to spit it out, mostly out of spite, she clamped her hand against his mouth, and kept it shut. He struggled to get free, but her enhanced strength made the feat effortless for the she-elf.
"Shhhhh," she whispered, more than a little condescending. Her breath on his sensitive elf-ear sent an involuntary shiver down his spine. He hoped she didn't notice.
Sand tried to snap a remark at her, but between being gagged as well as being far too close to her to form coherent thought, it simply came out as a jumbled, "Hmm-nm Mn Hm-mn-nm!" Which roughly translated to 'release me, you foul temptress!' He would have cast a stun spell on her, but he couldn't voice an incantation. It was all horribly inconvenient and undignified and embarrassingly sexy of her.
"Nope," she replied, pretending to have understood him, "chew, swallow, and then I'll let you go. After that you can decide if you like it or not."
Reluctantly, after much struggling and squirming, Sand chewed the too-large bite of Alea's alien food, forcing it down his throat. It didn't taste particularly bad. It was strange, for sure, but not bad. Mostly he just wanted Alea to free him, so his heartrate could get back under control.
After Sand stopped chewing, he nodded to confirm he had finished paying his own ransom. Alea grinned brightly, only a hint of her previous mischief remaining on her face as she let go, "Did you like it? It's one of my culture's favorite foods. It's used for all sorts of occasions: Parties, comfort food, dates, boredom, movie nights, and really anything short of a suit-and-tie event."
Sand had no idea what a movie night was, but he didn't much care. He wouldn't have minded the meal so much if it hadn't been shoved down his throat so forcefully. He said as much and Alea just smirked wolfishly, "Then you should have just tried it when I asked you nicely, instead of forcing my hand," she took a casual bite from what remained of the slice she had forced Sand to try. "Mmmm," she purred, leaning against the tree trunk, "I've missed this. Months of nothing but wild game and questionable stew made me homesick, if only for the fact that we actually put sugar and spices into our foods. Everything in this world tastes so bland. Is it too much to ask for a bit of salt now and again?"
"Yes," Sand said bluntly, his attitude showing plenty of salt for the both of them, "Halite is not exactly common along the sword coast."
"What about sea salt," Alea countered.
Sand just gave her a queer look, "How in the nine hells would you get salt from water? The sea has no salt in it, unless there's some odd form of aquatic halite that I am not aware of," he stared at her with a mixture of judgment and confusion on his face.
Alea just shrugged, "Whatever," and took another bite. "Here, try some on your own this time. Unless of course you need to be fed like an infant?"
Grumbling, Sand took his own slice and imitated Alea's way of holding it. Together they sat, enjoying the peaceful morning, despite Sand's occasional angry look at Alea for restraining him as if he were a child. Mostly it was a front. He'd give anything to have her that close to him again.
They discussed her trip to Old Owl Well in detail. Sand pretended not to feel an intense surge of jealousy when she told him how excited she had been to meet Casavir, and how she'd basically been in love with him for years. He clenched his jaw, and his fist tightened a bit at his side, but Alea took no notice of this, as she was too busy examining the clouds while she recounted her tales of heroism.
Alea was ecstatic to finally tell everything that had happened to someone without having to leave out any details, like how she knew a considerable – and probably creepy to the others, now that she thought about it – amount of details on his life and behaviors before ever meeting him. Sand knew exactly how Casavir must feel, because she had essentially laid out his entire life story, darkest secrets included, on the first day they met. If she had done even a fraction of that to the paladin, he must be more than a little curious how she came to know him so well.
"…and then I just ran up and hugged him," she announced, sounding a little sheepish.
Sand blinked, "I beg your pardon?"
"That's what I said. I hugged Casavir. I wasn't really thinking about the fact that he had no idea who I was, even though I've gone through the romance plot with him several times over."
"Hm… There was a romance plot in this game of yours as well?" Sand pretended to sound uninterested.
"Yep," Alea confirmed matter-of-factly, "there are tons of romanceable characters if you play a male character. But, despite the companions being mostly men, Casavir is the only male romanceable character. Bishop is a constant flirt in a lewd way, but at the end of the game, if you've developed your relationship with Cas high enough, before this big huge battle ensues he confesses his love and the gamer can either accept him or reject him. If you accept him, the player's character and Casavir sleep together for their final night of peace before potentially dying in battle. Reject him and… I'm not entirely sure. I never have."
"Hm," he hummed, continuing to feign indifference, "and the other companions remain simply that, no matter what you do?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Alea confirmed, "honestly it always sort-of annoyed me. While I adore the Casavir romance, there could've been so many other pathways to tread, and I'd have loved to explore them."
Sand wrinkled his nose, picturing Alea with her dwarf or gnomish friend. He couldn't see it. Still… hadn't she said that he eventually became her companion too? While she'd been away, he'd stopped trying to delude himself into thinking he could simply forget her. She was gone for a long while, and as much as he hated to admit it, he had missed her. What would happen if Alea decided to play out her and Casavir's eventually intertwining – in more ways than Sand liked to thing about – paths. He wondered if, considering all he knows now, he could change the plot. Still, he thought, why bother? She was only going to go home eventually anyway.
Suddenly Alea sat up, looking around suspiciously. Her ears perked slightly in that elvish way they had when something caught their attention.
Sand rose an eyebrow, "Something wrong?"
Alea whispered urgently, "I… I thought I heard something. It sounded big…"
Sand cautiously stood, looking around to see if there was anything that could be perceived as a threat. His eyes found nothing, but his sharp nose detected something that was definitely off-kilter, and it wasn't Alea's cooking. He held out a hand to help Alea off the ground and she accepted it, startling Sand when she didn't let go. Instead, she held tight to his arm, looking apprehensive.
He was surprised to see her even slightly frightened. Wasn't she one of the most powerful beings on the sword coast? At his questioning gaze she whispered, "There's not supposed to be anything here. Whatever it is, it's not in the game," she pulled closer to him, "I don't like not knowing…"
"Indeed…" Sand agreed, "We should be off. As delightful as it was to be force-fed squashed bread covered with random chunks of who-knows-what, I don't relish the idea of being attacked by something not even the all-knowing Alea Stormrun is aware of, no matter how large it may be."
Alea just nodded, staying close to Sand as they walked back toward the Neverwinter Docks. The trip back had been taking much longer, seeing as Alea insisted on their walking in stealth, all the while clinging to his arm like a lifeline. Still, she did her best to put on a brave face, though it was apparent to Sand that she was incredibly uneasy.
It struck long before either of them saw it. A massive arm reached out of the ground behind them, silently snaking along – impossibly long and nimble, with what seemed like hundreds of elbows. A few yards away, in another direction, the other arm was reaching out, knocking about every few minutes to distract its prey. Slowly, it crept along, until it reached its prize.
Alea gasped as something latched onto her ankle, yanking her to the ground. Quick as an arrow it began dragging her toward whatever dark fate it had in store. The elf, however, was not as easy prey as it had hoped. She pulled a dagger from where it had been hidden in her boot and stabbed the hand that held her, severing one of its fingers. The pain caused it to slow significantly, but still it held fast.
Luckily, she wasn't alone. Sand began casting. After a few words of power, black tentacles reached up from the ground, grasping at the arm, and pulling it nearly to a stop. This gave Alea the chance to strike more precisely, and she drove it into the creature's wrist, twisting the blade until the flesh broke free. The arm, now little more than a long, bleeding stump, wriggled about, retreating back into its hole. The other arm began to approach, but Sand spotted it before it reached Alea. He cast his most precise spell, magic missiles, and struck the protruding limb with ferocity. It wriggled about in pain, but still continued forward, this time trained on Sand.
By this time, Alea was able to regain her feet. She saw the second arm, and thinking quickly, cast her most powerful freeze spell, hoping to slow it down. The effect was far more than she expected. The writhing chunk of elbows slowed to a stop, unable to move.
It was frozen solid.
Panting, Alea worked on calming herself down. There was nothing like this in the game, and she had no idea what it could have been. Looking to Sand, she hoped for an explanation, but she saw only cold calculation in his eyes, mixed with a bout of confusion.
"What in Skyrim's realm was that," Alea asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Sand simply shook his head, "I haven't the slightest idea, dear girl." It struck Alea that Sand had just saved her life. Without his spells, she would likely be at the mercy of whatever horrible creature that had been. She watched as he strode to the now-frozen arm, examining it closely, "I have never seen anything like this… We should take it back to study more thoroughly."
Alea looked at him, wondering If he'd lost his mind, "Take it with us!? That thing nearly killed me! What if it thaws and tries to grab one of us again?"
He gave her a chastising look, "While I sincerely doubt that would happen, you misunderstand my meaning. We do not need the entire thing, merely a sample. I recommend we break off the hand and bring it to my shop where I can perform proper experiments to discover what it is and where it came from. I believe that if you are as unfamiliar with this creature as you were about the Velsixunyrr, then it may be related to how you got here in the first place. If we find out where it came from, we may be lead to a way to send you home."
Sighing, Alea nodded. She figured he was right. If she ever wanted to get back home, they needed to investigate every phenomenon possible. And she definitely wanted to go home… right?
"Care to do the honors?" he gestured to their fallen foe dramatically, with a slight bow.
Alea steeled her nerves and walked cautiously to the lifeless limb. With one quick strike, she broke the hand off at the nearest elbow, about two feet from the wrist. The creepy thing fell to the ground unceremoniously and Alea bent down to pick it up. It was surprisingly light.
She looked at Sand, "Will you hold my hand?"
He looked at her quizzically, "I beg your pardon?" His chest tightened a bit at the question.
She held out the arm, "I don't want to carry this, it freaks me out. Will you bring it back?"
A mixture of relief and disappointment surged through Sand as he realized what she meant. Wordlessly, he reached for the arm, taking it from Alea. Silently, he noted that her hands were shaking slightly. It struck him how hard all of this must be on her.
They walked back to the shop in silence, both listening intently for any other signs of giant arms reaching up from the ground. Luckily, they were met with no more horrific enemies the rest of the trip. They were, however, stopped by a small group of very drunk men.
This group did not concern Alea, as random encounters were a large part of RPGs and thus were likely not related to whatever force sent her here. She just looked at them in annoyance, "Let us pass, we don't want any trouble with you." She had no doubt that she could kill all of them easily, but she was still the type to avoid bloodshed when possible.
These men were having none of that, "Naaaah, come join us, pretty lady," one of the men slurred, "I can show *hic* you a reeeaaal good time!"
Sand started forward, but Alea put her hand out to stop him, "Let me handle this one, okay?"
He tilted his head in acquiescence, but kept his eyes squared directly on the men, daring them to challenge him.
Alea looked at the drunk man, "I'm perfectly alright, thank you, we will be on our way," she started forward, but another man blocked her path.
"Whassamater?" He half grinned in what was probably supposed to be charming, "You already got someone?"
Alea saw the out and took the opportunity to try and convince them to let her and Sand pass without having to hurt the intoxicated men, "Yes, in fact. This," she gestured to Sand, "is my husband. I do not think he would appreciate you propositioning me further."
This took Sand aback, but he didn't let it show. Instead, he played along, "Indeed. My dear, let us move on, I would very much like to get back to the children before dark. You know how they fight when we are not around, and I would not appreciate coming home to the drapes being set aflame again."
Alea was impressed with how smoothly he lied. She knew he was good at it but seeing it in practice was remarkable. The drunk men, however, were less impressed, "If he's your husband, where's your ring?" one of them asked, noting the lack of jewels on either of their hands.
Alea had to fight not to roll her eyes. Misogyny was alive and well. "We left them at home, in case we were found by bandits. I do not want my most precious possession to be stolen."
One of the drunk men narrowed his eyes, "Not sure I believe you."
Another chimed up, "Yeah, prove it!"
Alea glowered, tempted to just kill them and get it over with, but her moral side won out, and she decided the only way to convince these people to leave with their lives in tact was to give them something to latch onto. "You want proof," she asked, "here's your proof."
Without warning, she walked up and grabbed a handful of Sand's robes, forcing him to her. Their lips met, and she heard him give a startled gasp. Alea noticed how good of an actor he was in that moment. As she kissed him, he kissed her back. It was obviously to make the scene more realistic, but even she was almost convinced that he was in love with her, the way he leaned into her and pulled her close.
Sand's brain completely shut off. He wasn't sure if this was actually happening, or if this was just an extremely vivid dream. Either way, he wasn't complaining. Sand understood Alea's plan to get these drunkards off her heels and decided to just go with it.
He breathed her in, kissing her back fervently, knowing this would likely be the only time he ever would. Even though it wasn't real, his heart nearly stopped. When she began to pull away, his body moved of its own volition, pulling her back to him. She gave a grunt of surprise, but went with the ruse either way, giving a short laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. It made Sand's heart skip a beat.
"Alriiiiight, fine," one of the drunk men complained, "We believe you," he waved his hands at them to get them to stop, frustrated that the hot elf-woman wasn't available. He desperately wanted a woman for the night.
Reluctantly – very reluctantly – Sand pulled away from Alea, wishing it didn't have to end. As amazing as it was, it was still only a means to an end, and no one understood that better than he did, "Shall we move on, my dear," he said in as tender a voice as he could manage, trying to keep the façade up through his jumbled mind.
"Yes, my love," she replied, equally sweetly, "Let's get home to the kids." Taking his hand, she led him forward and out of view of the group of drunk men. When they were safely out of sight, she released his hand and looked at him apologetically, "I'm sorry about that… I should have asked or something, but it was all I could think of to get those idiots off my back. I'm not against doing what needs to be done, but I don't want to kill anyone if I don't absolutely have to."
Sand only shook his head, "No apologies necessary, dear girl," then he gave her a smug grin, "If I were in the presence of someone as incredible and talented as I am, I would have taken any excuse to kiss them as well," he teased. What Sand didn't tell her, was that he had just done exactly that. But she didn't need to know that little bit of information.
She just rolled her eyes, grinning, "Uh-huh. Whatever makes you feel better, 'my love'," she mocked back lightheartedly. Oddly, she felt her own heart twinge a bit as she reflected on what had happened. She wrote it off as a side-effect of too much pizza, mixed with the adrenaline of fighting off a pair of terrifying giant arms.