In which Sirius grasps the concept of homosexuality, ironic, considering he has openly been on for about a year or so.
Can I just say that Sirius is a bit thick here? And that I'm aware of the concept of two people of the same sex being in a sexual relationship and that's the point? And that I will not and will never find a gay couple in the street and ask them which is the man or woman. Just clearing that up so I don't get some silly person saying that I'm homophobic.
I'm saying this so I don't get anyone yelling at me saying "love is love" and all that stuff.
"Sirius, please stop stealing my perfume." Said Lily, rather politely, I might add. "You've used half the bottle and that cost me twenty galleons."
"Stop being sexist." Snorted Sirius.
Lily was dumbfounded. "How?" She strained.
"Well, you're dating a male person."
"Yes…" Lily's pale forehead crinkled.
"As am I." Sirius was speaking rather formally, and had begun gesturing with his hands like an old and wizened professor.
"Different male persons though." Clarified Lily.
"And you're the female in the relationship."
"That's debatable. Go on."
"In theory, shouldn't either Remus or I be the female in our relationship?" Sirius appeared to be guessing.
"Ugh- NO. Why? Ho- Do you have any idea what a homosexual relationship is?" It was like watching a woman go mad. "You're in a homosexual relationship. Between TWO men. MEN. Neither of you are the 'woman' in the relationship, otherwise you'd be with Marlene or someone else."
"Funny… That's what Remus said." Muttered Sirius, his eyes distant.
"Wait, you volunteered to be the woman? That's very noble." Lily applauded.
"Thank you. I was experimenting."
"If you're experimenting, you can go through my wardrobe and wear some of my old dresses." Lily offered. "If you wear one of them to Hogsmeade, with drag queen makeup and heels and a feather boa."
"I like your thinking, Evans." Nodded Sirius proudly. "You can stay."