I seem to be flying through this story now that I have off for the holidays. Glad everyone is enjoying this.

##

Deacon cuddled up behind Rayna snaking his arm around her and pulling her against him as she slept. As he swept kisses against the back of her neck he felt her stir. "Morning baby, it's ovulation day," he said as his hand slid down her stomach resting between her thighs. Rayna moved her hand back running it through his hair. "Not now Deacon, I don't feel so well."

Deacon pulled back and lightly kissed her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Rayna turned around so she was looking up at him. "I don't know, I just feel kind of nauseous."

Deacon's eyes lit up. "Maybe you're pregnant!"

Rayna shook her head. "How could I be pregnant? We haven't had sex since my last period." Rayna knew that came out a little harsher than she'd wanted it to, but maybe it had been bothering her more than she'd realized. She tried to turn her head so Deacon couldn't see the frustration in her eyes.

"Hey, look at me," Deacon said gently turning her face with his hand so she couldn't avoid contact. "Are you okay? Maybe these hormones aren't the best idea. If you want to stop them Ray, you should do that. I don't want you to be doing anything that makes you sick."

"No, I'm fine. It's not that bad. It's probably just a bug. I'm sure I'll be better by tomorrow."

Deacon brushed the hair away from Rayna's face and kissed her forehead. "Alright, as long as you're okay. There is nothing more important to me in this world than you, well, you and the girls. I just love you so much Ray, and I want to make you happy."

Deacon could see a slight moistness glazing over Rayna's eyes. "I love you too, and I am happy. You make me happy. I thank god every day that you're here with me."

Deacon leaned down and lightly kissed Rayna. "I'll go make you some tea, okay?"

A smile broke across Rayna's face. "Yes, please!"

##

Later that day Deacon was in the studio mixing one of the last tracks on his album with Avery. "I think we need to bring up the guitar a little bit in the chorus. What do you think?" Avery asked.

Deacon just sat there lost in thought. "Deacon? Hello, Deacon." Deacon startled back into reality. "Sorry, man, I was just thinking about something."

"Yeah, a million miles away. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a funny feeling. Rayna and I have been real stressed lately with all this trying to have a baby, and I feel like maybe it's starting to take a toll on us."

"Do you even want a baby? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love being a father, my daughter is amazing, but I'm 35 and she's running me ragged. I can't imagine doing this when I'm pushing 50."

"You saying that I'm old?" Deacon laughed.

"No man, I mean, more power to you for trying this at what are you? 48?" Deacon nodded. "It's just, have you really thought about what it's going to be like? Juliette and I barely get any sleep, every time we try to have sex Kaya comes wandering into our bedroom at the most inopportune moments, I don't have a piece of clothing that doesn't have spit up on it anymore, and the other day I walked into our music room to discover her banging on one of my Martin's with a shoe. I don't know man, you strike me as the type of guy who's pretty particular about his guitars. Maybe it's a good thing you missed out on the younger years."

Deacon thought about everything Avery said. "I don't know. Maybe. It's just hard when I look at Maddie I feel like I missed so many years of her life."

"First of all, I've seen that girl with you, and she is most definitely a daddy's girl. She adores you."

Deacon smiled thinking of how well and he and Maddie get on.

"Just make sure that you're doing this cause you want a new baby, and not because you want to get Maddie's childhood back, cause that's not happening. You need to let that go. Yeah, you missed a few of the early years, but you have the rest of her life to be there. You'll be there when she goes to prom, when she graduates from college, when she gets married, you'll be there when she has your grandkids and I bet by then you'll appreciate being able to give 'em back."

Deacon pondered Avery's words. "And it wasn't that long ago that I thought I wasn't going to have any of that."

"You have two beautiful daughters, don't be so hard on yourself."

Deacon nodded his head. "Yeah, you're giving me some things to think about."

"Great, glad I could help, now what are you thinking about this guitar?"

##

Rayna dropped off the girls at school and picked up Tandy at the airport. She was in town for three days and Rayna was going to take full advantage of this rare time with her sister. "I miss you so much. I'm glad you're enjoying San Fran, but I hate not having you in Nashville. I need to make more female friends."

"I thought you were hanging out with Sadie some?"

"I was before everything started happening with Deacon and his illness, but I've been pretty family centric since then."

"Well maybe it's time to branch out a bit and foster some relationships outside of your immediate circle."

Rayna sighed. "That hasn't been easy with all the injection giving and sex scheduling. There isn't much time for relaxation. I can't remember the last time Deacon and I just sat and wrote."

Tandy started slowly. "I didn't really want to talk to you about this on the phone, but what are doing Rayna? You just got through a terrible illness with your husband, you've been trying to build up your business, you finally got the girls to the point where they're pretty self-sufficient. Do you even really want a new baby?"

Tandy could see the pained look on Rayna's face. "Deacon wants a baby, and I want Deacon to be happy."

"Rayna, you can't just have a baby to make your husband happy. You're the one who actually has to grow the baby inside of you, give birth, then it's another decade before you're starting to relax again. This isn't a decision you make on a whim. You have two kids already, you know what a big deal this is."

"I do, it's just. I love Deacon so much, and I know I took that away from him Tandy. His time being a daddy when the girls were little, I took that from him, it's my fault he never got to sing Maddie to sleep, or see her first steps."

"Oh Rayna, I know you feel guilty, but it wasn't 100% you. If he had never started drinking like that he would have been there."

"But he was sober by the time Maddie was born…I just wish things had gone differently you know?"

Tandy rubbed her sister's back. "I know Rayna, but you don't seem happy, and that baby is going to feel that. So I'm asking you again. Do you want a baby?

Rayna thought for a minute choosing her words carefully before she spoke. "I would love any child that Deacon and I have together unconditionally…but no, I don't really want another child. Maddie and Daphne are enough for me."

"Well then I think you need to speak to Deacon. He'll understand Rayna."

The tears started to fall down Rayna's cheeks as she turned onto Granny White Rd. "I hope so."

##

Deacon walked into the living room and threw his wallet and keys on the counter. "Where are Tandy and the girls? I thought this house was going to be a cacophony of estrogen when I walked in."

"Tandy took them shopping and to dinner. She's playing the part of the spoiling aunt."

"Better her than us."

"Babe, why don't you come sit down with me. I think we need to talk."

Deacon got a concerned look on his face as he took a seat next to Rayna on the couch. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine, the girls are fine. Nothing to worry about."

"Good."

"It's just, babe you know I love you more than anything right?"

"Of course. I love you too Ray." Deacon took her hand kissing the back of it and running his thumb over her knuckles."

Rayna turned so she was facing him. "I want you to be happy, and I want you to have everything in life that you want."

"I have everything in life that I want Ray. I have you, and I have the girls. All I've ever wanted was a family with you."

"Me too, and we have that." Deacon nodded. "But…I don't think I want another baby. I'm just too old, too tired. There's other things in life that I want to experience now besides being a mother. I loved having your baby, and I wouldn't trade that for anything, but I just don't think I could do it again at this point in my life. Truthfully, I'm kind of selfish. I don't want to share you. I will miss the girls like crazy when they go off to college in a couple of years, but I'm also kind of looking forward to it just being the two of us."

"How long have you felt this way Rayna?"

"I don't know. All along I guess."

"Then why didn't you say something? Why did you go along with all this if you didn't want to have another baby?"

"I know that I took that chance away from you with Maddie, and I just wanted to give it back to you."

Deacon rubbed his hands over his face before turning back to Rayna. "Ray, I don't blame you for the way things went with Maddie. We were young, I was a mess, and you were just doing what you thought was best for her. I don't want you to do something you don't want to do because you feel guilty."

Rayna looked down at her hands. "I love you Rayna, I am so happy that I'm alive, and I get to spend the rest of my life with you, Maddie, and Daphne. That's enough. Yes, I thought the idea of a new baby sounded good, but only if you're equally excited. I want to experience that joy with you, but if that's not what you're feeling, I don't want it either. You have to be honest with me Rayna. I thought we decided that was rule one of our marriage. No more lying."

"I wasn't lying, I guess I was just trying to talk myself into something that maybe I didn't really want so much."

"Like you did with Luke? Or with Teddy? I thought you weren't doing that anymore?"

Rayna smiled through her tears. "Old habits die hard."

"Tell me about it. I could never quit you."

Rayna reached up stroking his face. "I'm glad you didn't." She leaned in kissing him. The kiss started off small, but it had been so long since they had just kissed and touched each other for the shear pleasure of it, that it quickly deepened until hands were roaming under shirts and Rayna was on top of Deacon. Deacon pulled back a little as he unbuttoned her shirt. "I think this is the first time in history the decision not to have a baby has inspired sex."

Later that night Deacon and Rayna were laying in bed wrapped up in each other's arms. "You know we never took that honeymoon trip," Deacon said as he curled into Rayna.

"Where were you going to take me?"

"Oh no, we're still going, and it's still going to be a surprise."

"Deacon we don't have to have a honeymoon. We've been married for over a year now."

"I know, but we're going to take that trip. How about three weeks from now when my album is done and the girls are at Teddy's. Can you get the week off?"

"I'll check with Bucky and see if I can clear my schedule."

"Perfect. I love you Ray, and I love that you'd do anything for me, cause I'd do anything for you."

Rayna ran her fingers through Deacon's hair. "You know how lucky we are?"

"I do. If there's anything I know, it's that." Deacon gazed down at his wife adoringly. "Now let's get some sleep. Those three women are going to run us over tomorrow."

Deacon shut off the light and snuggled into Rayna and before his head even hit the pillow they were asleep.