Sighing, I closed the lid of the jewelry box and walked back towards my bed. I was just about to go lie back down in bed when I heard the faint buzz of the doorbell. I really didn't want company right now. Despite my wishes…well my thoughts, Ami opened the door and welcomed in the guests – whoever they were.
I crawled back into bed and grudgingly let the sun's rays dance over the sheets because I didn't want to get back up and close the blinds. A couple minutes later another ring chimed from the doorbell and once more Ami let them in.
There was a commotion downstairs which was then followed by multiple footsteps running upstairs.
Great…company.
Without a knock, my door flung open and I pulled the covers over my head. They all sat on the sides of my bed. I was just about to snuggle myself lower, when someone pulled the covers away from me.
I looked up at Rima, Utau and Yaya's worried faces. With what courage I could muster up I gave a faint smile just to show them I was okay.
Did they take it?
Nope.
"Don't just go smiling when something is wrong!" chastised Utau.
"And you lied to me Amu…" sighed Rima dragging a hand through her hair.
"Amu," whispered Yaya softly.
The bottom of my lip trembled and I bit it softly to hold back whatever flow of emotions was about to gush out. In the end it all went to waste, because their concerned looks were too much for me.
Tears rolled down my cheek and landed in my lap. I was too ashamed to look up at them, but it was Rima who pulled me into her lap and Utau who gave comforting rubs to my hair while Yaya cooed softly at me.
I just stayed like that for a while till I finally calmed down.
"What's wrong?" asked Utau more calmly than the first time.
"He's gone," I muttered.
"He? Who's 'he' Amu?" asked Yaya.
"It's Ikuto isn't it?" asked Rima even to me it seemed more like a statement.
I nodded my head and just shut my eyes closed.
"What did that little bastard do?" screamed Utau moving closer to me.
"Amu, tell us," said Yaya with some anger.
See this is why I loved Yaya. She was soft with her words and word choices when the situation was leaning down a bit. Utau on the other hand was as soft with words as a snake was to a plump egg just sitting there in the grass. Well – sometimes. And don't get me wrong, I love Utau too, but it's just those moments when you need that soft reassurance first and the anger later. Rima, thank God, was a mix of both.
"He broke up with me," I finally said.
"So that's why today in the office you two were like that," said Rima.
"Why?"
"I'm going to strangle that prick!"
I sighed and placed some of my hair behind my ear.
"The lies, I guess."
"Amu, you didn't tell him the truth did you?" asked Yaya.
"I did – just later," I muttered back feebly.
"The truth?" asked Rima staring at us with a puzzled expression.
I looked at Utau then looked back down to my lap.
"The 'truth' is-
And so she explained it all to Rima. She didn't tell it with as much of emotion I had done with Ikuto, but the facts were there regardless. When Utau finished, Rima looked up at me; her eyes were full of water.
"I- I can't believe that happened to you."
"Yeah."
"What happened to the negotiator?"
"Lost contact with him weeks after the court case."
"Did you ever try finding him again?"
"I did actually – that's kind of why I became a negotiator. In fact, when I was first hired, I was tempted to believe it was Ikuto. Early on, I found out I was horribly wrong."
"Are you still looking?"
"Kind of. Yeah."
Silence filled the room and I rested my head between my knees. I thought about the file Ikuto had been looking out when he asked if my past was a lie.
In the middle of my thoughts, Utau suddenly shot up off the bed.
"Enough of him! Let's go out for a while, come on Amu."
I looked up at her wearily.
"I don't feel like it."
"Too bad," she smiled pulling me off the bed. "Put on something cute."
All three of them left the room with a wicked smile on their faces. That's it, I was totally done for.
So much for my little glum fest.
Ikuto POV
I picked up the file for Kyou's case, looked at it, and then slammed it back onto the desk. I couldn't concentrate on my work at all. Every time I tried to, all I could think about was Amu's face before I closed the door on her; and Amu's face when she walked into Rima's office.
I jammed my hand in my hair and leaned back in my chair. Why was I the one that had to do this?
Squeezing my eyes shut, I sucked in a deep breath and tried to focus once more on the case. We'd be leaving in two day, and everything was set to go. Some of the officers would be leaving today to secure the area and get their hands on any extra information.
Just as I was about to re-check Kyou's file, the phone rang. Hoping and wishing it was Amu I picked it up before it went to the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Ikuto, its Tsukasa."
"Yeah…what do you want?"
"I forgot to tell this to you, I don't need you to check the files. My fever is settling down a bit, so I'll be coming back."
"Is that all?"
"Yeah."
"Okay…I need to go."
In partial shock, I gently placed the phone back into the receiver then cursed. I got off my chair, grabbed my stuff, and was just about to leave when Kukai rushed in.
"I'm kind of busy Kukai."
"What's up with you?"
"Crap. Life. More Crap."
"Forget my drama. Come on, let's go a bar and you can tell me all about it."
"It's hardly afternoon."
"Drinks on me."
"Fine."
Grinning like a kid, he waltzed out of my office with me tailing behind him.
Later
"Two glasses of whiskey and bourbon."
Kukai stared at me then sighed.
"A beer."
The bartender nodded then went to get the order.
"So what's up?"
"I broke up with Amu."
"What why?"
"You remember the deal right?"
Kukai paused as the bartender settled the drinks on the counter before returning a look at me.
"That deal was only for the girl from your negotiation job back then."
"What if I told you, she was that girl?"
"What do you mean?"
I took a large gulp of my drink then searched through my bag and pulled out a copy of Ikuto Tsukiyomi: Negotiator or Love Interest article and handed it over to Kukai.
He read it quickly then looked up at me.
"Our 'Amu' is that little girl?"
"Pretty much."
"Wow. Well forget about her being that girl. Tell him to lay off the deal, I can see it in your eyes how much you love her."
"What do you want me tell him Kukai? You've met him and you know he never wanted me to be a negotiator in the first place."
"I know…but it's been close to 11 years now. You've been pretty successful with your life so far, so why shouldn't he take off the deal."
"Because he's a man of his word," I mumbled bitterly then took another drink.
Amu POV
I shifted from one foot to another, turned around and looked at their excited faces.
"Why do you guys keep staring at me?"
"We're not. Just keep walking."
"Where am I supposed to go?" I asked in frustration.
I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be here. I wanted to forget today and relive yesterday. It wasn't fair, I know I made a mistake but did I really deserve this much heartbreak in a lifetime?
As I walked past a store, Utau grabbed me forcefully by the arm and pulled me in. We were immediately surrounded by hundreds of dresses of all sorts.
"Why are we here?" I asked pulling myself free from her hurtful grip.
"To get you a dress," chimed Rima.
"I don't want a dress. I want to go home."
"Aww, come on Amu, don't sulk," pouted Utau.
"I'm not sulking…"
"Then come buy a dress."
"I-
"Let's go," winked Yaya before leaving me behind.
I trudged behind them and looked at the variety of dresses.
"Why do I need a dress?"
"Because you'll be in Paris, and you need a smoking hot dress in case of an occasion."
"We're going after a murderer and child kidnapper," I stated bluntly.
"So what, just meet me back in this spot in 5 minutes."
"Sure."
Later
"Amu…why are all your dresses dark blue?"
Sighing, I looked down at my armful of dresses. Every color was in a shade that reminded me of Ikuto.
"It's not a dark blue; it's more of a midnight color. Isn't it?" asked Yaya almost fascinated with the colors.
Rima looked up at me and shot me a small smile.
"Fine, let's go try these on," grumbled Utau throwing down all the dresses she had supposedly picked out for me.
I hadn't picked out a lot, there were only three dresses. The first one was a strapless gown that reached down to the floor. From the mid thigh point, there were several layers of large ruffles. I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and walked out of the fitting room.
"You look gorgeous Amu!" exclaimed Rima.
"So cute," smiled Yaya.
"It's stunning Amu."
"Should I try on the others?"
"No – here Amu, try this one on too," said Rima handing me the dress she had been holding in her arms.
I grabbed the cream colored dress from her hands and took it inside with me. I looked at the other two dresses I had picked out and immediately favored the one I had tried on first. They were crowded with designs, jewels, and different types of fabrics.
I shimmied out of my dress and put on the dress Rima had picked out for me. It reached just above my knees. The top was strapless but in an almost heart shape. Near the waist area there was something like an elastic band and the rest of the dress was ruffled.
Walking out of the dressing room, I immediately noticed there faces.
"So you like the dress?"
"YES!" they exclaimed all at once."
I managed a very small laugh and walked back into the dressing room to purchase the two dresses.
I didn't want Ikuto weighing down my heart. I wanted to be happy like I used to be. I didn't want to feel like I would burst out crying every time I saw something that reminded me of him.
Sighing, I walked out and purchased the items.
Ikuto POV
"Can I have another glass of whiskey?" I asked in an almost slurred voice.
"Sir, this is your eighth glass, don't you think you've had enough?"
"I know my limit," I snapped causing a couple of the people around me to stare.
I looked at all the glasses in front of me – I had drank them all, even Kukai's beer after he had left for a cop case.
The bartender put the glass in front of me.
"Leave the bottle."
He shot me a worried look before leaving it there, then hurrying off.
As I took a large gulp from my drink, I noticed something pink from the corner of my eyes.
Amu!
I slammed the drink down and whirled around. But when she turned around, I noticed it wasn't Amu, but someone else. Her dark brown eyes were so dull in comparison to the bright honey colored eyes Amu had. Eyes, that I might never see shine again. Sighing, I refilled my glass and took a drink from it again. The whiskey was cool and smoky when it hit your tongue, but when it went down your throat it burned.
Not wanting to wake up tomorrow with a hangover, I finished the rest of my glass and laid the bill on the counter, along with a tip. The guy deserved it. The first couple steps I took were wobbly, giving me the resemblance of a drunk, but I was okay.
My car was still in the parking lot at work, and it was close by as well. But I didn't want to take the chance and drive. In the end I decided to walk home.
It was dark out, and the sun was just starting to set. A shade of pink that matched Amu's hair. I shook my head. Damn it, I needed to stop thinking of her every second of the day.
When I finally got home, it was dark outside. I took a seat on the middle step of the porch and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from my back pocket. I lit the end of it and took a long drag. The smoke piled up in the air then slowly drifted away.
Even my usual habit of smoking was a memory.
Flashback
I took another look at her. Freaking kid smelling flowers that'll die in a couple weeks due to the winter. But she seemed so peaceful compared to minutes…hours…days…weeks ago. Sighing, I looked through my pockets for a cigarette. I had never been addicted to them and they tasted like shit, but they relieved stress. So it was fine.
I took out a lighter and lit the end of the cigarette and took one long drag from the stick. When I looked up again, Amu was gone. No, instead she was standing right in front of me with a frown on her face.
"I didn't know you smoked."
"I don't. I do it when I'm stressed. Plus it makes me look cool."
At the last comment she opened her mouth in shock and I started to laugh.
"Eeew it stinks!" she shouted backing away. "You're going to kill my bouquets!"
I took a look at her hand and saw she had several colorful bouquets tied together with different flowers or cattails.
"Anyways, you shouldn't smoke."
"Aww, is princess worried about me?"
"No, and quit calling me princess. I've just seen too many people die of lung cancer because they were stupid and chose to smoke."
End of Flashback
Sighing, I put out the cigarette and looked up at the sky. Just in time too, there was a shooting star.
Amu POV
When I got home I blindly looked for the light switch and turned it on. I tossed my bag in the corner of my room and changed into my pajamas. It was late out, and I had been planning to go home after the shopping trip I had been forced into, but then it had been decided that we all go out to dinner.
Just as I was about to climb into bed, I noticed something near the balcony. Curious, I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me before going outside. I sat down at the edge of the balcony and rested my head on one of the rails.
The air was cold, and I felt the shiver crawl up my spine. This was all so nostalgic, and then comes the smell of smoke. My brain immediately switches to the thought of Ikuto being near. I look and with disappointment, I see one of the neighbors standing outside smoking.
That's right, not just Ikuto smokes. And even if it wasn't him that was smoking, it was comforting. I closed myself and let my senses be enwrapped in the comforting shield of memories and warmth.
Then it comes, the tears. I had been holding them back for so long and had been planning to go on with the rest of the day without crying, but looks like the simple smell of smoke brought it back.
When I open my eyes so I can stop the tears from coming, I see a silver light dance across the sky. My eyes widen and I lean forward to get a better look. A shooting star.
My phone vibrates and I pick it up from the sidewalk.
1 New Text from Utau Hoshina
I open the text and read it.
A girl was performing this at work today. It's a good song.
I look at the link then click on it. A song starts playing.
How long will this take?
How much can I go through?
My heart, my soul aches
I don't know what to do
I bend but don't break
And somehow I'll get through
'cause I have you
And if I have to crawl
Will you crawl too
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
The wonder of it all
Is you
See me through
Oh Lord, where are you?
Do not forget me here
I cry in silence
Can you not see my tears?
When all have left me
And hope has disappeared
You find me here
And when I have to crawl
Will you crawl too
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
The wonder of it all
Is you
See me through
When everything I was is lost
I have forgot where you have not
When I am lost you have not lost me(2x's)
You have not lost me
And if I have to crawl
Will you crawl too
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
The wonder of it all
Is you
See me through
x
o
x
o
A/N
Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update…it really wasn't my fault until the end though. So my computer caught a virus and then it died on me. So we had to get a new program and go through this process which took forever. Yes, so that's why I haven't been able to update properly in a while. Not to mention I got writer's block near the ending of the chapter. This was supposed to be up yesterday, but fanfiction wouldn't let me log in. So many problems - . -"
And I know this chapter sucks. Sorry. Its just Ikuto and Amu's feelings after the breakup. So I'm sorry not much action or drama happened during the story.
Oh, I was reading the first couple chapters of this story when I noticed an error in chapter 1. Okay, so Ami isn't 1. She's 3-4 in the chapter. I know I've mentioned she was 1 in that chapter like at least 3 times so I apologize about that.
Thanks for all the support you guys have given me. I appreciate it so much. 260 reviews, you guys are amazing!
Love,
Neko-Meme