A Literal Scrapbook

by Claire Whitmore

A scrapbook is messy, it's full of everything, an essence of what was. It has the smiles, the sadness and the moments when you laugh for no good reason and just want to be with someone loved. This is the Marauder's scrapbook, literally. It's a big bundle of warm fuzzy blankets, cheap wine and the comic section of the paper on a rainy day, just in the form of drabbles. R/S and J/L

66. Body Parts

"Sirius…" Sighed Remus.

"Yes, Remus?" Replied Sirius, indignant.

"Why- why in the name of Merlin…" Remus was, apparently and quite literally at a loss for words.

"See, remember that one time you were talking about how Muggles can donate one of their kidneys and blood and platelets and all that shit it need be?" Rattled off Sirius, waving his hands about as if they didn't have to obey the laws of gravity at all.

"Yes, I remember." Said Remus gravely.

"And I was sitting there and I said 'Who in the name of fuck would want to do that?' and you told me that" Sirius's changed his tone to try to mimic Remus. " 'sometimes people do it for the people they love.' and then I thought the idea was terribly romantic!"

"Terribly?"

"Terribly." Sirius nodded that as if he had just passed a very important law that would save millions of lives. "So then I thought that I could get you, like, deer carcasses and excess body parts and stuff. I was halfway to the butchers when I realised that, unlike many others, you wouldn't be that impressed or flash with the idea of me giving you a sack full of dead organs and shit for your birthday. I mean, romantically, it wouldn't have much appeal."

"You're bloody lucky that you didn't go through with that! Did you think of all the extra security measures they've got here now with all this Voldemort business? You can barely get through to the Great Hall with a textbook, let alone a dead deer! You would have been expelled!"

"Well I know that now." Sirius rolled his eyes. "So then I decided that I wouldn't do that and with that note I painted my whole person blue."

"That explains you being blue and wearing those boxers." Groaned Remus like a tired single parent. "Why on Earth are you even blu-"

"I'm glad you asked, Remmy baby!" Sirius had just taken up the ego, charisma and personality of cheap game show host. "Why, where you see blue is where I've marked the places in which I would happily give to you willingly."

"But you're covered in blue…." Chuckled Remus.

"That's the point, though, for practicality, I couldn't exactly paint my insides blue. But you get the idea."

"You're a twat." Remus shook his head, smiling.

"Love you."

"You too."