In the next drama lesson, the groups were left to themselves to work on their plays, with Mr Fearnhead hovering around in case he was needed.

'I've done some work on the play,' Jandro announced, when the five of them were seated in a little circle in their corner. 'I wrote up the scene where Rodolpho and Catherine, um...'

'Bone,' said Michael.

'Er, yeah,' said Jandro, colouring slightly and avoiding Lucy's eye. 'So, um... here it is.'

'Thanks for doing that, Jandro,' said Lucy, smiling as she took her copy of Jandro's script. 'Let's see. Catherine: I want to marry you and live in Italy. Rodolpho: I don't want to live in Italy, and also there's no jobs there. Catherine: You could be a singer. Rodolpho: No I couldn't. Catherine: Hold me. They go into the bedroom. Um...'

Kevin looked horrified while Michael laughed and clapped Jandro on the back. 'Dude,' he said, 'you suck at writing!'

'I know,' said Jandro, blushing furiously. 'I didn't know how much I was gonna suck! And the script wasn't much help, you know – the conversation they have is all weird, and there's something about Eddie coming home drunk while it's all going on...'

'Yeah, but still,' said Michael, 'this sucks way more than it has to.'

'Oh yeah?' said Lucy, looking daggers at Michael. 'And what have you done to prepare for your role?'

'What I've done to prepare for the role,' said Michael, 'is... quite little, actually.'

'I thought so!' said Lucy. Then she turned kind eyes onto Jandro. 'Okay, Jandro, maybe this isn't the best right now, but we can work with it. It's only a first draft, after all, and the essence of the scene is all there.'

'I'll prepare for the role right now, Luce,' said Michael. 'I can come home drunk!'

So saying, he got to his feet and began lurching around the drama studio. All his friends began to laugh at his antics, until he lurched into Mark Warner, who was apparently doing some kind of outlandish feminine impersonation, to the great amusement of his friend Jack. The other members of the group, Catherine and Stephanie, did not look amused.

'Hey, watch where you're going, Conway!' said Mark.

'I wouldn't have to if you weren't wasting time being stupid,' said Michael.

'You mean like you were doing?'

'I was doing drama, dick-splash. My character is drunk.'

'Yeah, well, my character's a doughnut puncher.'

Michael scowled deeply, and balled his fists. Ella shot to her feet and said, 'Mike, don't – he's not worth it!'

At this point Mr Fearnhead came scuttling over, demanding, 'What's going on here, boys? You two aren't even in the same group, are you?'

'This jerk is interfering with my performance, Mr Fearnhead,' said Mark.

'Mr Fearnhead,' said Michael, 'I'm concerned about Mark's portrayal of a homosexual character.'

Mr Fearnhead looked at Mark, saying pointedly, 'I take it you're playing Tom. Let's discuss the character with the rest of your group, shall we? Williams had rather an old-fashioned view of the homosexual male – perhaps you'd like to consider modernising your interpretation...'

'What an ass,' said Michael, as he rejoined his group.

'Never mind about him,' said Jandro. 'What about this scene? I can't fix it by myself. Who's going to help me?'

'I will,' said Kevin, jumping in when he saw that Lucy was about to volunteer. 'You can come to my place over the weekend and we'll work on it.'

'Hey, could I get in on that?' said Michael. 'We could work on the part where Eddie comes in and loses his shit.'

'If you're going to do that,' said Lucy, 'maybe the three of you can work on the chair-lifting scene and the ending as well. Then you and I could get together, Ella, and script the opening scene and the part with Alfieri.'

'Cool,' said Ella. 'I'll ask my dad if we can have a sleepover, and he'll definitely say yes.'

'So what do we do here for the next half-hour?' asked Jandro.

'Let's improvise the opening scene,' said Lucy, jumping to her feet. 'It'll help us get some ideas. So, Michael, you're perving on me while Ella tells you her illegal Italian cousins are coming to live with us...'

Jandro and Michael arrived at Kevin's house together. When Kevin opened the door to them, he was struggling with a shapeless and awkwardly wrapped brown paper parcel.

'I'm glad it's you,' he said. 'When the doorbell went a minute ago, it was some guy delivering this! Anyway, come on in.'

He made his way to the living room with the parcel, and once the three boys were seated on the couch, Kevin started tearing off the brown paper. Before he had finished, Carl came in, apparently attracted by the rustling noise.

'What's that?' he demanded.

'Somebody sent me a gift – I don't know what's in it,' said Kevin. Then the paper fell away. 'Oh my God – I don't believe it. This is perfect!'

Carl watched in bewilderment as Kevin delighted over a small wooden chair, clearly designed for a child, and Michael and Jandro seemed to admire it too.

'But,' said Carl, 'but... it's pink!'

'The colour doesn't matter,' said Kevin. 'It's exactly what we need!'

'It's pretty cool, man,' said Michael. 'We won't find a better one, anyway.'

Carl boggled in disbelief.

'Who sent it, Kev?' asked Jandro.

'Probably Oscar,' said Kevin. 'If not, I can't imagine! I'll see if there's a note.'

He rummaged around in the masses of brown paper on the floor, and finally resurfaced with a note. Carl waited to hear what it said.

'How about this?' Kevin read out loud. 'My grandma got this for Jess when she was little, but she never used to sit on it even when she was small enough because it's pink. It's been sitting in the attic since it came with us from Connecticut, and I only remembered it today. I couldn't bring it over myself because my parents are making me get up early and go visit with family for the weekend, and anyway I thought it'd be a nice surprise. Tell me how it goes! Oscar.'

Carl, looking even more puzzled and rather perturbed, went mooching off.

'I don't think the Venkmans are short of money, are they?' said Michael. 'He could've waited and gotten one of his parents to drive over with it.'

'I guess he was just keen for Kev to have it,' said Jandro. 'Try lifting it by one leg, Kev.'

'I'll try too,' said Michael, jumping to his feet and shaking out his arms.

'You're not supposed to be able to do it, Mike,' said Jandro. 'You have to try lifting it, and it falls over before it's hardly off the ground.'

'Yeah, in the play I do,' said Michael, 'but that's only acting. Just like when I kiss you.'

It so happened that Carl reappeared at that moment, and he gave them a horrified look. Kevin could not help laughing.

It was the day of the performances, and the drama studio's retractable benches were out, leaving just enough bare floor to function as a stage. Everyone left their shoes up in the gallery onto which the door opened, and they also left various props up there, including the pink chair. The class then had to walk down the stairs at the side of the room, and up through the tiered benches to find a seat. Kevin and his group waited patiently on the stairs while others fought to stay together in the throng, then occupied the empty bench on the left front row.

'Good afternoon, class,' said Mr Fearnhead, who was standing in the middle of the remaining floor, 'and welcome to our last drama lesson of the year. Today, you're going learn from each other as you perform for the last time as junior high-schoolers. Would anyone like to go first?'

Lucy raised her hand, but no one else in the group did, and Mr Fearnhead's attention was caught by four arms waving enthusiastically from the back row.

'All right, girls, come on down,' said Mr Fearnhead. 'Class, we begin with Jas, Georgia, Rosie and Julia performing Charlotte Keatley's My Mother Said I Never Should.'

The rest of the group chattered while the four girls prepared themselves, and Mr Fearnhead took a seat at the aisle end of the left front row, next to Kevin. Soon enough, the four girls were in position, and Jas indicated that they were ready.

'QUIET!' roared Mr Fearnhead, when a few people didn't shut up, then he coughed a little and adjusted his tie. 'Now... whenever you're ready, girls.'

The girls began by playing a clapping game and giggling, then Julia said, 'I hate my mother.'

'I hate my mother too,' said Jas.

'I don't even really know who my mother is,' said Rosie.

'Let's all kill our mothers,' said Georgia.

The class watched in stupefied silence as the performance went on. Sitting beside Kevin, Mr Fearnhead occasionally went into paroxysms of delight. The performance finished with Jas and Julia fighting over a 1989 edition Betsy Wetsy doll, with Rosie standing in the background and looking mournfully on. Georgia hovered at the bottom of the stairs, evidently not part of the scene.

'Please don't take my baby, Mommy!' begged Jas.

'You're too young to take care of her,' said Julia, and promptly walked off with the Betsy Wetsy. Jas then knelt down, picked a doll's romper suit up from the floor and wept into it.

The class continued to stare. For a few moments, nothing happened.

'That's it,' Georgia announced from the stairs.

'Wonderful, girls!' said Mr Fearnhead, rising to his feet and clapping enthusiastically.

'I don't get it,' Michael whispered to Jandro.

'Me either,' said Jandro, 'but it looks like Mr Fearnhead does. I don't think I want to follow that.'

'All right,' said Mr Fearnhead, once he was over his rapture, 'who'd like to go next?'

This time, nobody volunteered.

'All right,' said Mr Fearnhead, 'we'll have Mark, Jack, Catherine and Stephanie with their interpretation of Tennessee Williams' The Glass Menagerie.'

Catherine and Stephanie made their way down to the stage, and Catherine carried on up the stairs to retrieve a medium-sized glass horse and seal. Mark and Jack mooched down to the stage with their hands in their pockets, and stood behind Catherine and Stephanie as they began to perform.

'Well, Laura,' said Stephanie, 'do you suppose we shall have any gentleman callers today?'

'Oh, I don't know, Mother,' Catherine said bashfully, at which point Mark and Jack started tittering.

The class watched as Catherine and Stephanie soldiered bravely on, until Mark swaggered onto the stage saying, 'I'm just going to my club. The White Swallow Club.' Then he laughed raucously and swaggered off to the stairs.

When next Mark entered, he had adopted an awkward gait, and was saying, 'Man, my ass is sore!'

Kevin glanced at Mr Fearnhead, and saw that he was frowning deeply.

'By the way,' said Mark, dragging Jack to the centre of the stage, 'this is my friend Jim. But he's not a special friend, sis, so he might like to bang you.' Then he sloped off again, chuckling to himself.

'Hello,' said Catherine.

Jack stood there with his hands in his pockets and giggled.

'Don't I know you from somewhere?' Catherine persisted.

Jack went on giggling, staring at his feet.

Catherine, nearly in tears now, said, 'Would you maybe like to dance or something?'

At this point, Mark walked on and said, 'Dude, you're supposed to get it on with her, like this.'

He then took Catherine in both arms, deliberately grabbing her left buttock in his right hand. Catherine squealed, pushed Mark away and ran up the stairs to the exit, tears flowing down her cheeks. At this point Stephanie stepped forward, punched Mark in the nose and then ascended the stairs after Catherine to an enormous cheer, begun by Ella and quickly taken up by the whole class.

'Ow, my nose!' wailed Mark. 'Mr Fearnhead, did you see what she did?'

All the while, Jack stood there giggling with his hands in his pockets.

Mr Fearnhead seemed to have nothing to say. Kevin looked at him, and saw that he was sweating profusely into a large white handkerchief and loosening his tie and shirt collar.

'We'll go next, Mr Fearnhead,' said Kevin, rising to his feet, and gesturing for the others to follow him. He went upstairs to get his chair, while Michael stood over Mark until he sloped back to his seat, followed by the smirking Jack. Lucy picked up Catherine's glass animals and shoved them under her vacated seat, then they all took their positions.

It had evidently been decided that the performance should begin with Ella struggling to place the little pink chair in the centre of the stage, saying, 'Phew, this large dining chair is heavy!' The audience tittered appreciatively, then quietened down as Lucy came on and said, 'Morning, Aunt Beatrice.'

'Catherine,' said Ella, 'I've been meaning to talk to you about your Uncle Eddie. You're growing up now, and you have to stop letting him treat you like a child...'

Michael came on and did some convincing perving over Lucy, then Ella brought on Kevin and Jandro, with Jandro wearing the Buffy wig. When Jandro and Lucy began to interact, she thrust her chest at him flirtatiously and said, 'Wow, you're a real blonde!'

'Yeah, it's real all right,' said Jandro, running his fingers through the wig, which made everybody laugh.

Kevin gave a relaxed and competent performance, and probably no one noticed when he turned away to take a deep, cleansing breath before he had to lift the chair. Michael was making Jandro box with him, and delivering some convincing stage punches. When Jandro cried out in pretend pain and clutched his nose, Kevin said, 'Eddie! Can you lift this chair?'

Michael went over and picked up the chair by its seat with two hands.

'Lift it by one leg,' said Kevin, 'and hold it steady.'

Michael attempted to do this, but every time he had lifted the chair a few inches above the ground, he let the other side fall.

'It's impossible,' said Michael.

Kevin gave him a menacing look, then bent his knees and grasped the lower half of one chair leg. He then began to lift it, always keeping the seat parallel with the ground. Some of the audience members oohed and aahed in admiration. Kevin held the chair steady above Michael's head with a taut arm, glaring at him, and Michael shrank in terror. They held the pose for a while, then Jandro and Lucy diverted the audience's attention by flirting with each other while Michael discreetly helped Kevin lower the chair in the background. They grinned at each other as they walked off.

'Are you hungry?' asked Lucy.

'Not for anything to eat,' said Jandro, and a slight squeak came into his voice. He cleared his throat, and went on, 'It's not like Italy here, always going without.'

'You wouldn't like to go back and live in Italy?' said Lucy.

'No way,' said Jandro. 'I'm making a living here. What could I do if I went back to Italy?'

'You could be a singer. You have a really beautiful voice.'

'It's not as easy as that. You don't know what the world is like, Catherine.'

'I don't know anything!' Lucy said passionately, taking a step towards Jandro, and he involuntarily took a step back. She frowned at him slightly before going on, 'Teach me, Rodolpho. Hold me.'

There was some confusion as she raised her lips towards his, and Kevin could see from the bottom of the steps that Jandro was stretching his neck away in alarm. Michael was also standing on the steps, holding a water bottle in preparation for being drunk, so Kevin hissed, 'Start your part now!' and pushed him off the bottom step. Taken completely by surprise, Michael lurched onto the stage, which ended up working quite well when he said in exaggerated tones, 'Man, am I drunk!'

The audience laughed as he tottered along singing drunkenly, until he bumped into Jandro and Lucy, who had subtly roughed up their clothing while the audience watched Michael's antics. Lucy had also tousled her usually pristine sheet of hair, and Jandro had even tilted his wig to a comedy angle, revealing a patch of his own dark hair beneath. The audience laughed again.

'You've been deflowering my niece, you pervert!' yelled Michael.

'We're going to get married!' retorted Jandro.

'Only because you want a green card!' said Michael.

'Oh, Eddie, I don't think so,' said Lucy.

'That's because you don't know he's a homosexual!' said Michael.

'I am not a homosexual,' said Jandro.

'Yes you are!' said Michael. 'And what's more, I can prove it!'

So saying, he lunged at Jandro and kissed him full on the mouth. This got the biggest reaction of all. Many of the audience gasped, and a few of them laughed moronically. There was a silence as the kiss finished. Then Stephanie, who had just appeared on the gallery with her left arm around the tear-stained Catherine, raised her right arm and whooped.

'See?' said Michael, when he judged it was time to move on. 'That proves he only wants to marry you for a green card, and I'm going to tell the cops!'

For the next bit, Lucy and Jandro went to stand by Kevin on the steps, Jandro straightening his wig, while Ella came onstage wearing a hat and a serious expression.

'Great work on that scene, guys,' whispered Kevin, as Ella and Michael debated the strength of Eddie's claim against Rodolpho.

'I was upstaged by Michael,' said Lucy. 'I thought about giving Jandro a little kiss, but I guess it wouldn't have been as passionate as the one Michael gave him.'

'So you're not sorry he bumped into you just then?' asked Kevin.

'No,' said Lucy, with a small smile at Jandro. 'It's probably better that we didn't kiss. This time.'

Jandro smiled and blushed and looked down at his feet. Then suddenly Kevin said, 'Ooh!', grabbed Jandro's wrist and dragged him onto the stage, yelling, 'How dare you call immigration on us, you good-for-nothing worm!'

Mr Fearnhead stood at the front of the room, almost in tears as he said, 'This has been a wonderful end to... to the school year.' Here, he shot a look at Mark and Jack. 'Mostly. I love teaching drama. I love seeing you young people express yourselves. If I ever had to go away...' He tailed off.

'Are you all right, Mr Fearnhead?' asked Lucy.

'Yes, Lucy, I'm fine,' said Mr Fearnhead, quickly pulling himself together. 'We've seen some wonderful work here today, but I think we can all agree, there was one performance that stood out above all the rest, and I'd like the performers to come down here and take a bow. Please, everybody put your hands together for...'

Everyone in Kevin's group looked hopeful, and Ella even started to rise from her seat.

'My Mother Said I Never Should!' said Mr Fearnhead. 'Come on down, girls.'

Jas, Georgia, Rosie and Julia descended from their seats and stood in front of the group, wreathed in smiles, while the class clapped half-heartedly.

'What a crock!' said Ella. 'Ours was way better! People laughed at us! Nobody even got theirs!'

'Well,' said Jandro, 'it looked like a difficult play to interpret.'

'Oh,' said Ella, 'and ours wasn't?'

'All right!' Mr Fearnhead shouted over the noise, for the rest of the class was also chattering. 'You'll all see your final grade when you get your report cards in homeroom tomorrow. If I don't see you again, have a great summer, and I hope to be teaching some of you in high school next year. Oh, Kevin and Michael – would you please stay and put away the seats? Thank you.'

The class began standing up and milling about, and once again the room filled with the buzz of conversation. Most people left, but Lucy, Ella and Jandro stayed behind with Kevin and Michael. Catherine and Stephanie also hung back on their way out.

'Don't listen to Mr Fearnhead, guys,' said Stephanie. 'Everyone knows yours was the best.'

'They do?' said Jandro.

'How do you know that?' asked Ella. 'You only saw about half of it.'

'I think we saw the best parts,' said Stephanie. 'It was real funny when Jandro and Lucy had been having sex' – (Jandro blushed deeply) – 'and then you really got everybody with that same-sex kiss. I'm surprised you felt comfortable doing that, Michael.'

'Why?' said Michael. 'You don't know me, man.'

'No, I don't,' said Stephanie. 'I just know you used to be like Mark Warner, only bigger.'

'I may not have been perfect,' said Michael, 'but I never actually said or did anything homophobic.'

'Whatever,' said Stephanie, and she put her arm around Catherine. 'Come on, Kitty-Cat – let's go.'

'Don't forget your glass menagerie,' said Lucy, fishing out the horse and seal and handing them to Catherine. 'I'm sorry yours didn't go so well.'

'Thanks,' said Catherine, in a small voice, as Stephanie led her towards the stairs.

'I'll help you guys push the seats back,' said Ella, as Kevin and Michael set to their task.

'Let's all help,' said Jandro. 'I bet Lucy and I together are almost as strong as you, Ella.'

As they were pushing the seats in, a familiar voice said from the gallery above them, 'Excuse me – Mr Fearnhead? I think I might have dropped my keys in here earlier. Could I please look for them?'

'Oh, Oscar, hello,' said Mr Fearnhead, looking up from a stack of papers he was holding. 'Yes, of course, come and look.'

Oscar descended the stairs, and caught sight of his friends.

'Oh, hi,' he said. 'How was your performance?'

'It was a triumph,' said Ella. 'Most people loved it,' and she glared at Mr Fearnhead.

'I don't suppose any of you have seen my keys?' said Oscar.

They all exchanged helpless glances, and shook their heads. Oscar looked upset.

'I'm really worried about them,' he said. 'They've just disappeared! The only thing I could think of was that I might have accidentally thrown them out when I was doing Danny's autopsy earlier.'

'Maybe they went under the seats, if you actually threw them,' said Lucy. 'Let's take a look.'

Oscar nodded, and followed Lucy to the now retracted seats, where they got onto the floor and put their heads to the ground and their backsides in the air. Jandro was transfixed for a moment, then he looked away, embarrassed.

'Mr Fearnhead,' said Kevin. 'Are you going to give Catherine and Stephanie the same grade as those two Neanderthals?'

'Well,' said Mr Fearnhead, 'that's confidential. But bear in mind, the girls did both walk out on the performance, and Stephanie actually used violence against another student.'

'That's because Catherine had been sexually assaulted!' said Ella.

'Yes, well,' said Mr Fearnhead, 'appropriate action will be taken – don't you worry about that. By the way, I thought your performance was very good.'

'Oh thank you, sir, so much,' said Ella.

'Got 'em!' said Lucy, who was now lying flat on her stomach, pulling her arm out from under the seats with Oscar's keys in her hand.

'Oh, thank God!' said Oscar, taking them from her. 'And thank you, Lucy. Hey, Ella – Danny and I have written a new song. You wanna go over it now?'

'Okay,' said Ella, and she draped her arm across Oscar's shoulders as she led him to the stairs. 'See you later, guys.'

'I'd better go too,' said Lucy. 'John's picking me up today. Anyone want a ride?'

'I'll take you up on that,' said Michael, and he put his arm around Lucy as they made their way up the stairs.

'Thanks, Luce, but I'll walk,' said Jandro.

'Me too,' said Kevin, putting his arm around Jandro, which made everybody laugh.

'So, dude,' said Kevin, once the others had gone, 'glad it's over?'

'Yes,' said Jandro. 'I don't really like performing anyway – I think some of my deliveries might have stopped Mr Fearnhead from liking it as much as that one the four girls did. And I was so nervous about that scene with Lucy!'

'I bet it wasn't as hard as lifting that chair,' said Kevin.

'Oh, I think it was at least as hard as that... in its own way.'

They went up the stairs, put on their shoes and gathered their things, including the pink chair, which Kevin carried from the room in one hand.

'Last day of junior high tomorrow,' he said. 'How do you feel about that?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said Jandro. 'I mean, we're only going across the street to the high school. How different can it be?'

'You're right,' said Kevin. 'School is school. They'll still just waste our time.'

'But at least we'll be wasting our time together,' said Jandro. 'It's what happens after school's over that's scary, when we all have responsibilities, and we might even... I don't know... drift apart or something.'

'Never!' said Kevin, slinging his chair-free arm around Jandro once again as they walked out of the school gates.