A Literal Scrapbook

by Claire Whitmore

A scrapbook is messy, it's full of everything, an essence of what was. It has the smiles, the sadness and the moments when you laugh for no good reason and just want to be with someone loved. This is the Marauder's scrapbook, literally. It's a big bundle of warm fuzzy blankets, cheap wine and the comic section of the paper on a rainy day, just in the form of drabbles. R/S and J/L

79. Bedroom Signs

Sirius gestured to his bedroom door, well, it was really the spare room at James' place. "Welcome to my humble abode…"

"Sirius, what is this?" Remus asked, looking at the door- of which was covered in black and yellow workplace signs- up and down sceptically.

"I got them at the hardware shop the other day." Remus didn't want to know why he went to a hardware shop, James would have gone with him, no doubt. Ignorance is bliss, after all. "I've got more in my room."

"Er… 'Keep Out, Private Property'?"

"Just in case on the off chance Walburga decides to come." Sirius said. "I'm thinking of getting a similar design for my underwear."

"You're at James's house, why would your mum bother to come here?" Exasperated Remus.

Sirius merely shrugged.

"What about 'Come In, We're Open'? That's just contradicting."

"That sign is for you." Sirius winked.

"'Beware Of The Dog'?"

"It's hi-lar-re-us! And ironic!"

"I'm not sure if you understand irony…" Remus muttered under his breath. "'Staff Only'?"

"Based upon that, you're my supervisor, co-worker, manager, whatever. If you know what I mean." Sirius made a face that could only suggest something highly sexually explicit.

"A sign for bloke's loos?" Really?"

"Just in case my sexual orientation wasn't obvious." Sirius grinned.

"'No smoking'?"

"Unless your me. Or giving me one of your cigarettes."

"What about the sign that says 'Men'?"

"Men?" Sirius pretended to ponder over that for a moment. "I LIKE THEM NAKED."

A very scarlet faced Remus ventured into Sirius's room.

"What's with the door signs?"

"The 'Push' and 'Pull' ones? It's an euphemism."

Remus cast his eyes to the 'ladies' sign printed onto a metal plate above Sirius's bed, the same sign was followed by one that read 'no admittance'.

"'No cash kept on premises'…"

"Because I'm dead broke."

"'Now wash your hands'?"

"It's the assumption that when you leave you will need to wash your hands. If you catch my drift…" Sirius said. "Especially you."

Remus then saw a little white piece of parchment scrapbooked between the other plain signs. This one was different from the others, it was coloured red and gold and charmed to dance with these two colours in intricate patterns.

Remus leaned in closer to read the sign.

"'I love you Remus.'."

"The sign speaks the truth!" Sirius declared, before wrapping his arms around Remus.