James, I swear in all the name of the things I want to fuck-
Things? I don't want to know about your fantasies with fish or lamps.
This one will work. Do you remember what we rehearsed?
Yeah, I still don't see why you're being a twat and making us write notes in the Common Room when we can talk like normal humans.
Good. Now go get yourself some slice of hourglass figured Evans.
I still don't see how you, of all people, can give me advice on how to pick up chicks. You're gay, for Merlin's sake!
AM NOT! I prefer the term fluid. Or not giving a fuck. Though I am, just ask Moony.
Standing up in the middle of the sardine can Common Room, James made a half groan, half strangled noise that suggested he was a moderately sized mammal that was in labour with lion.
"What the hell was that?" Lily asked, turning around to eye James off suspiciously.
"That…" James began, fleeting his eyes to find Sirius, who was giving him a thumbs up and grinning from ear to ear, egging him on further. "was my mating call. Though, you can only hear it if you pass a I-am-attracted-to-James-Potter test."
James waited for a moment for Lily to say something, because she always had something to say after James made a comment of that nature. She didn't say anything, so he continued.
"Good news!" He congratulated. "You passed with flying colours!"
He began to clap, wearing an expression that told Lily he was both smug and aroused.
From the other end of the room Peter Pettigrew went corpse white.
"I c-could hear tha-t thing James d-did…" He shuddered.
Remus merely looked from James –now ducking from one of Lily's Bat Bogey hexes and still wearing an indignant smirk- to Peter –who was now undoubtedly going through some sort of brief sexuality crisis-.
He shook his head and chuckled when he found the source of the chaos, the eye of the storm. Sirius.
He was sitting on the couch, clutching at his ribs and clearly in pain from laughing so much.