A/N: Mornin', here!
The warnings are the same, this time Ed won't be flaming that much and will start to make sense of things. I won't bother with the disclaimer, as everyone knows I don't own anything but the plot and OCs (there you go, because there will be a few).
Don't forget to review and leave reviews, and now - on the horse!
Chapter 4 – Rainy Days
The train to Central started to empty in the first big cities, as that line from East was not the most used to get to the heart of the country. Even though it was reconstructed after it was destroyed by the explosion that nearly killed the former Fuhrer and it was as sturdy and safe as it could be, it was only used by the commoners. Rich people preferred the new line much better, built only a few years before, so the old one remained for those who enjoyed peaceful journeys or had less money.
Somewhat relieved that no one was looking nervously at him anymore, Roy covered himself in his dark overcoat and continued reading. From a fair distance, he looked almost like a worriless worker, sprawled on the bench, legs crossed and back on his suitcase. If only he did not seem so important, emanating opulence despite his fruitless efforts to blend in. One just does not blend in the crowd when reading a book that costs almost two regular working men salaries. For those who knew the prices, of course.
Despite the said preferences of travelling, Roy Mustang was not the cheap type, but he was definitely not the kind to spend unnecessarily big sums of money on vices such as obscene luxury. He didn't need top services. He enjoyed travelling with commoners as he could listen to their stories and their problems. He told children the craziest military tales he knew and advised the elders on therapeutic matters. He liked playing with the little ones, catch or anything he could think of in the cramped space and, when they got tired, some chess or backgammon with their grandparents would do the trick.
But today was not that kind of day, he just could not organise his thoughts due to the previous events at his home, when he had that disastrous argue with Edward Elric. He stared blankly at his book. He could not focus.
A few children recognised him and came shouting, "Sir! Sir!" He looked at the cheerful crowd and cracked a mirthless smile. The little ones noticed his distress and a strawberry blonde girl asked with a long face, "Sir, what happened? Why are you sad?"
At the base of her big blue eyes formed some wet tears. Feeling his heart snap in two bloodied pieces, Roy brought his right hand up and wiped the little girl's tears away, gently caressing her cheeks.
"Do I look sad? I am not, because I got to see you, sweet angels," he smiled and hugged the three children who came to him, a girl and two boys. He turned his head to see their older sister and mother and saluted them with a quick nod, as he was pulled down by the youngest brother in a playful grip.
"Mister, mister, did you miss us?"
Roy looked at them sternly. The children backed off hastily, only to be pulled in a new hug by the laughing raven haired man. "You little devils, you thought I didn't miss you? Wrong!" The trio giggled inside his arms and grabbed his blue uniform to snatch him out of his seat. He chased after them in the wagon and caught them all at once, spinning them in the air.
He spent most of the time left in the train playing every game that space allowed and chatted with the mother and older sister after the trio fell asleep in his lap. For a few hours, his worries were gone. He was himself again.
XXXXX
In the rear compartment of the train to Central, Edward Elric yawned ferociously. The conductor's annoying voice announcing the next station woke him up. Shifting to a better position, he opened his notebook to resume checking up an old murder case he was interested in. The light was dim and he was not able to read for too long. Lifting his eyes from the notebook's pages, he stared through the window at the wet land outside. It was raining heavily, staining the glass.
He couldn't wait to get home. If a hotel room could be considered home, then there was where he was headed.
XXXXX
The train approached its most central destination. Roy saluted once again the family and sent his best regards to the father, an architect who was currently working at a huge project in a city close to Central. The man was an old friend he made in his long travels all around the country and he never missed a chance to converse with his charming family, whom he considered a small walking fair. His siblings were currently visiting him at work and were due to reach their destination in two stations.
Outside the train, the night was so dark that he could not see his own feet and the rain was pouring harder and harder. 'Why didn't I request for an escort? Damn!' he admonished himself, missing Hawkeye's chauffeuring.
Not having an umbrella and not seeing any means of transportation anywhere around him, Roy tightened his grip on the sides of his drenched coat and walked down the empty streets of his domicile city.
XXXXX
Edward looked at the miserable weather in Central. It was not enough that his mood was gloomy, the sky had to worsen it. 'Argh, I hate rain! My automail junctions hurt like hell,' he thought grimly.
He rubbed his aching shoulder joints and lifted his eyes to the sky. He had to find a way through the rain and get to his place.
His eyes widened. "Oh, don't tell me I did it again," he muttered to himself. He had forgotten to book a room at his usual hotel and he didn't have the keys to his dorm. He cursed his luck and braced himself for the coldness of the rain.
He ran through the darkness with no destination in mind. Maybe his landlord was still awake and he could open the door for him... He didn't want to spend the night outside.
He shivered as he ran, the water getting in his boots. It was a veritable rain storm. He felt his feet slip and fall backwards on the cold rock tiles. He bumped into a hard object which appeared out of nowhere, the collision making him fall down on his back.
"For fuck's sake!" Ed cursed, water soaking him to the bone.
"Watch where you are going!" the one he bumped into shouted at him.
The two voices halted and spoke at the same time, their confusion obvious.
"Mustang?"
"Fullmetal?"
Roy and Edward looked at each other sheepishly. The younger alchemist rubbed his head annoyed and groaned huskily, "No fucking way... are you stalking me or something?"
"I don't know about you, I have a feeling I'm not the stalker in here. Watch your steps, it is quite late for kids, you see," Roy teased and helped his subordinate up. He brushed water off his eyes to see the other better.
"Why you- I have no need of arguing with you. You just don't deserve my breath," Edward scolded and turned on his heels to walk away.
Roy looked at the slender figure in front of his eyes. Something told him he should not waste such an opportunity like that. A drenched Edward- 'Dammit, Roy, pull yourself together! You're not a teenager anymore,' he berated himself. His thoughts were not baseless, he did spend some time pondering the situation he created with his screaming at Edward and what he had realised was equally revelatory as it was revolting. Just how every other day was to him.
But this time he might do something really stupid, more so than usual.
"Fullmetal, just a wild guess- do you have somewhere to stay for the night?" he asked. Edward stopped and returned the gaze. 'Did he just read my mind?' Ed thought.
"Figures. It's pouring and my house is not far. We can get there soon if we hurry. Come, you can sleep at my place."
Ed sighed defeated. He gave a quick nod and started running. Roy caught up with him effortlessly and fell in a rhythm beside him. They have stood enough in the rain.
XXXXX
Completely soaked, the two alchemists entered the empty house. Roy closed the door behind him and locked it. He took Edward's wet red coat and hanged it next to his. The younger officer threw his boots aside and so did the other.
Fullmetal stood in the rectangular hallway, staring at Roy who arranged the few objects that were scattered on a mid-height closet. "I suggest you to go upstairs and take a shower. You might catch a cold if you keep on staring at me, Fullmetal, no matter how hot I am. It won't make you any warmer, you know."
"As if! Fine, I'll be quick," Edward snorted and walked up the stairs.
"I'll prepare something to eat, are you hungry?" Roy shouted from the kitchen. It was a long silence until finally, Ed's voice interrupted it. "Only if you don't burn the house down!"
"I won't snap my fingers, I promise!" the general shouted back, satisfied. Seems his subordinate was back to normal.
Now he had to find out what Edward was thinking that made him so angry. He wanted the friend he had found in him back.
Maybe he stood a chance in front of his fate.
XXXXX
Roy set the table silently. He looked up at the clock on the wall. Ed was taking his time in the shower. A little worried, he went up to check up on him. "Fullmetal?" he knocked at the bathroom's door. No answer. "Fullmetal? Full- Edward, is everything okay?" Not hearing a sound from the usually noisy boy, Roy entered to find him asleep in the bathtub. He looked somehow older than his actual age, pulled down by something heavy. Something bothered him and Roy didn't have to try too hard to guess what the matter was. Nor who had created it.
Mustang tried to wake him up, but his efforts were pointless. Edward did not cooperate, he just kept on sleeping, his mouth slightly agape. He must have been very tired. He picked him up in a towel and took him to his bedroom, where he put the sleeping bundle on the large bed. The room was lit only by a single moonshine which caressed Ed's pale face as the boy's features lost their tension. He looked once again at peace.
Roy carefully stroked one of his cheeks and got an unconscious smile from him. Yes, that was the real Fullmetal he cared so much for. A small monster in the body of a boy at day, a defenceless soul in the body of an angel at night.
Without bothering to look in Fullmetal's suitcase for clean clothes for they were almost certainly wet from the rain, Roy searched through his dresser and found a shirt and some pants which looked slim enough for Ed. 'That shirt will be the death of me,' he chuckled at the bright pink piece of clothing. It was the only shirt he owned that would fit the small alchemist.
Hughes gave it to him about ten years before on his birthday in an attempt of making an extremely lame joke. Not like he hadn't succeeded, but it proved quite amusing in the end. Of course, they were drunk and in equally drunk company, so no one really remembered that little event. However, the picture his best friend had taken of him in that disgusting shirt was still on his wall in the study. It might have been black and white, but the effect wasn't diminished. It had been a terrible birthday, however, he liked that photograph well enough.
What memories... Amused, he dressed the sleeping alchemist and took a shower as well. When he was finally finished, he descended to the living room and sat on the couch. It would be his bed for the night. He could not bring himself to sleep in any of the spare room. At least in his own house, he was not a guest.
XXXXX
The morning came with weather just as bad as the previous day. Edward woke up in an unknown bed with very vague memory of the previous night. He called Roy's name, but no answer came in return. He lifted the covers and stretched his body.
He noticed he was dressed in foreign clothes and fumed that he had been touched by that bastard. At least he had the decency to dress him and not do some strange thing. Ed's body was pretty much like the other day, so he guessed nothing has happened. Not that Roy would ever do something despicable, he mused as he looked better at his clothes. He went to the window and opened the curtains, the bright colour of the shirt shocking him.
"Pf, what a joke!" He tugged at the bright coloured piece of clothing, wondering who would wear such thing voluntarily.
Ed descended to the lower floor to find breakfast on the table in the living room. 'Does he have some loosen screws in the head, shouldn't he be mad on me for insulting him?' he asked himself. 'Well, lucky me.'
When he had finished eating, he changed into some dry clothes. He packed Roy's pathetic garments and put them in the laundry basket in the bathroom.
He pressed the door knob when realisation struck him. "Fuck, I cannot leave! He didn't leave me any keys!" Ed exclaimed, noticing there were no spare keys in sight. It would not do to leave the door unlocked. He had to wait for the General to come back from work.
"Oh, come on, Mustang! Damn it!" he brawled and went back to the living room.
XXXXX
Inside the big office at the end of the hall, Roy Mustang was bored out of his mind and dead on his feet. Or, more likely, on his chair. He felt like he would rot in that bloody place.
"Sign these too, Sir," Hawkeye said and handed him more papers.
Roy looked up at his assistant, his eyes bleary. 'Ugh, I am so going to die of boredom... it is so boring... utterly boring...' He yawned abruptly and shook his head.
"Alright! Time for some action!" he loudly encouraged himself. He took the papers he was offered and read them carefully before signing his name on most of them, the others being rejected.
"General!" a levelled voice echoed throughout the office. Roy lifted his head and watched a confused Falman waving a blue envelope in his hand. Blue meant something confidential. Oh joy, he at last received something more interesting.
"Yes?" he asked cautiously.
"Some trouble, boss," Breda responded before Falman could. "Seems you are requested for an investigation on some possible Drachma's spy or spies. No numbers specified."
"Spies?" He tried to look surprised. So much for his excitement, he knew very well about that particular problem.
He had been called the previous week to the Fuhrer's office and had been informed by his mentor that he was needed to find and eliminate some threats in the military. It seemed someone was after some information. After what, he could not precisely say, but Roy had a hunch it had nothing to do with stealing secrets. It was so far from his jurisdiction and line of business, it was suspicious. It should have been the Military Police's job, not his.
That was somewhat unsettling. There must have been something else at stake, because he never got such assignments unless something bigger was behind them. It must have been more than just some intellectual plunder.
Why did he suspect the threats had something to with him?
He needed a word with Major Armstrong, he worked with such cases every day.
"Hand me the report, please. Thank you." Roy read the pages and then put them on his desk. "We have work to do. Finish your assignments as soon as possible. I am going to handle the main investigation, the rest of you will provide me with any information you can gasp. Wait for the next orders. I will be telling you what in short notice."
The small team nodded and work was resumed like nothing has happened. Small talk was exchanged in the office, just as usual.
What was not at usual was for Grumman to be so desperate. 'Why did he tell my subordinates about the mission... wasn't it supposed to be a well guarded secret?... He said it had my name on it, just mine...' Roy thought. 'Unless it really is a personal threat and not robbery.'
Realisation struck him. 'Sneaky old man, you want to make furores. Nice, I can do that.' He continued signing documents as he thought of a good plan to lure the threat out of its shelter and crush it discreetly. Well, after he had found whom to lure because, at the moment, he didn't even know what to search for.
He hoped there was nothing more to it. He hoped he was just being paranoid.
XXXXX
Edward searched Roy's house from top to bottom. He stopped to rest in the study, which had a most wonderfully vast library attached. Vast was an understatement, it was oversized. It must have been larger than the one he saw at Tucker's house, and that had been huge.
The man really had a thing for books. They were neatly organised and filed under their specific genre. They covered a wide range of domains, from alchemy to cooking, from politics to art, from history to fiction, from law to fashion, from anything one could think of to another thing one would not ever imagine. There seemed to be a book for everything and anything.
Ed rolled his eyes to cover the entire room. It somehow had a very poignant feeling to it, something that reminded him a lot of Hawkeye's little house. It had dignity, yet it spoke of sorrow and melancholy. No wonder those two were friends. Yet it had something unique, something extraordinary to it, a deeper darkness that he had never sensed in a room before.
It felt like a place in which someone had cried and suffered. Like there was no hope inside, there was only grief and despair. The charm has worn off, it seemed, and only the tears remained.
It was strange to feel that in a chamber full of books. It was supposed to be a relaxing area, not one in which you contemplated suicide. That was sad.
Ed's heart filled with pity for Roy. He felt like he was trespassing some invisible boundaries that he shouldn't have. He was violating the man's privacy. He shook off the feeling and decided the room needed some redecorating, urgently. It was no longer sad. It was pathetic.
The heavy atmosphere was maintained by way too many photographs and diplomas hung all over the study's walls. That was where the similarity with the Lieutenant's house stopped. Unlike her decent bedroom, the study had no free place anywhere on its walls. Not a spot. The diplomas were diverse, many from Roy's military service, others from contests or various decorations. Their frames were surrounded by old faded photographs which seemed to tell the story behind every one of them. The story of Roy's life, nailed on the walls.
The first diplomas started from the far away corner of the room. School prizes, academic graduation, alchemy licenses and many photos with him and his colleagues. There, the main protagonists were Maes Hughes and Roy. They looked so young and happy, especially Roy. It must have been a long time before the Ishbalan war, but he couldn't say how much. He didn't precisely know Roy's age.
The long rows of decorations and memories continued and Ed was surprised to find a few pictures of himself. He never knew there were so many, he had never noticed anyone taking photographs of him when he wasn't looking. He had only made a few when his brother and their friend, Winry, insisted.
Did Roy really care so much about him and his brother that he hung their photos on his walls?
The one piece that completely dazzled him was the huge desk that resided next to one of the walls, well hidden under the many objects on it. Its design was antique and dandy, it somehow had its own personality. It only had a small central clear surface, one that was not occupied by anything. It must have been the working area, Ed suspected.
Behind the desk, there was a huge map of Amestris and its neighbouring countries, with specifications about each region, full of red dots and silver nails. On the heavy furniture, there were two piles of books on different types of alchemy and some forgotten documents, a case full of pencils and pens and, again, some more frames. Ed looked at each one of them. Being so close to him all the time when he studied, they must be really special to the older man.
In the central frame was Roy's team. Hawkeye, Breda, Fury, Falman and Havoc, all grinning to the camera. There was another photograph with him and Maes Hughes, where they were both ranked as Lieutenant Colonels. Their eyes looked so different than the ones on the wall. They were colder, like they had forgotten how to smile. Edward had never noticed that shallowness in Mustang's eyes.
Under the frame, there was another photograph of Maes in casual clothing, toasting to the camera. It must have been from a party. Another one showed Madam Christmas, Roy's aunt and adoptive mother, holding a child in her arms. That must have been a very young Roy, not older than four, maybe five. His hair was a complete mess of black locks and he laughed with all his body. Next frame depicted Edward and his younger brother in the suit of armour and another with Alphonse in his flesh body.
Ed picked up the photographs of him and Al and stroked the glass. 'I remember these being taken,' he realised. How come Roy had them?
He shivered at the implications. 'Does he have an obsession with us? Whatever, nostalgic freak.'
He put the frame down and looked at the next one. The last photograph on the right was the immortalisation of a teenaged Hawkeye and a man who resembled her, whom Edward presumed to be her father. She seemed shy, so different from the one he knew.
The last frame on the left held the picture of a man and woman, presumably husband and wife. They were holding a small baby in their arms. He didn't know who those people were, he had never seen them before. The child was well covered in blankets, but he could tell the little one was black haired from the fluffy tuft that evaded from the warm confines. The man was a lot taller than his wife and he must have had light blond hair and blue eyes. Those eyes were so clear and shining.
It was hard to tell the colours, the photographs were all black and white. The man's features were refined and somehow superior, though his eyes were kind and humble. The woman was petite and very beautiful, a great match for the smirking man who held her waist. Her smile was charming and it reached her big and elongated black eyes, full of fire and determination. Her hair was combed in a braid which surrounded her head from behind her ears almost like a nest. She was delightful. She reminded him of his long lost mother, Trisha, but also of someone else he knew.
A little confused, Ed approached the said photo to the one with Roy and Hughes. Completely ignoring the late Brigadier General, he compared the couple to the younger depiction of the General. Same eyes and hair colour as the woman, similar face shape and mouth as the man, even the same smirk. Were they his parents? He had always though Roy was abandoned at birth, orphaned in infancy. Everyone thought so, he never said anything about any parents. It was like they have never existed.
Ed opened the heavy golden frame. The photograph's margins were yellowed and had small burns on them. The back had a few words on it, written by an unsure hand.
Never forget us, for our hearts shall always belong to you. Our eyes shall forever watch out for you and smile and shed tears with you. Never miss us, we are no longer here but we are in your heart. Always look forward. Never look back. Past is dead and you are too alive for it.
We love you.
Over the last words, where the writing started to bend downwards, there were some droplets of dried blood.
XXXXX
Roy shifted in his chair. 'Ten more minutes and I can finally go home and rest,' he encouraged himself as he finished the last few documents he had to sign.
The ten minutes were soon prolonged with a new assignment that took him a little over two hours.
He left the office with his hands in the blue military pants' pockets. He whistled an old song his aunt used to sing to him when he was a child. That, until realisation struck him. 'Fullmetal is at my place! Wait, what if he had left? He didn't have any keys! Fuck!'
Roy sped up and reached his house faster than usual. That night, he specifically asked not to be driven to his domicile, because he wanted to take a walk around the city. Or a run, as it happened to be.
He reached his doorway to discover that his house was locked. That meant Edward was still there. Now that he thought better, he could have simply called his home phone and find out if he had stayed there during the day. Never mind that now, the damage was already done.
He opened the door and closed it behind him. He put his coat and shoes aside and started searching the house for the younger alchemist, whom he found on the couch, reading. He didn't hear his name being called, so Roy had to repeat it for a few times.
"Oh, you finally came," Ed replied at last, closing the book he was reading.
"Err... yes. What are you still doing here, Fullmetal?" Roy crossed his arms.
"Well, I couldn't leave your house unlocked, genius. Or maybe you want me to find someone to rob you? It is not that hard, trust me."
"No, thank you for minding it," Roy retorted smoothly, remembering his mistake of not providing the man with some keys. "Well, I hope you were not too bored."
"Neah, don't you worry. Though I am positively starving. I haven't eaten anything since morning!"
"There is always food in the kitchen, no matter how long I am out. You should have taken something. It is not forbidden, you know," Mustang said smiling. "You should have helped yourself."
"I didn't want to intrude," Ed lied. He had spent the whole day searching in the proprietor's belongings, so he didn't have any time for eating.
Not totally buying the lie, as Edward was famous for his appetite, Roy lifted a brow to only lower it soon after. "Then, why not have some dinner with me?"
"Okay, but after that, I am out of here!"
"Fine by me."
Ed followed Roy to the kitchen. He set the plates as his commanding officer put the food he heated beforehand on the table. They ate in silence, but not before long, the teen broke it. "So, how was your day?"
"Excuse me?" the older demanded, unused to have someone asking about his day. He was always alone at home, he was not sure how that kind of conversation worked.
"I've asked about your day at work. Forget it, your brain's fried from signing your name on everything." Ed waved his hand to prove his annoyance and hide the colour that blossomed on his cheeks.
Was the man an idiot or something? That was in a way charming, Ed mused and took another bite.
"Hm, I guess so. That is what I did the whole day, signing papers after papers and more papers. That is what I usually do at the office, you see," Roy replied. He pointed his fork to Edward. "What about you? What were you reading when I've found you?"
"It was book about flame alchemy from your coffee table. Quite interesting."
"Yes, I have to thank my teacher for showing it to me."
"Teacher?"
Roy smirked. "Fullmetal, are you interested in my past?"
"No?" he asked more than said.
"Figures." Roy stabbed the last bite of a tomato and then put his dishes in the sink. Ed finished soon after and put his own over the others.
The blond looked through the window at the dark street outside. The storm was worse than in the morning. "Come on, damn it! It's still raining! What's with this weather?" he pouted. Swallowing his pride, he asked, "Mind if I spend the night here again?"
Roy smiled kindly and nodded his head. "No bother."
XXXXX
'Am I out of my mind? Spending the night with him on purpose? What kind of torture is this?' Ed thought bitterly as he lay on the guestroom's bed. Roy offered to house him in his bedroom again, but it felt too much like intruding.
Ed couldn't fall asleep, no matter how much he struggled. Maybe it was the rain outside or the low atmospheric pressure... or maybe it was the diary he had found on Roy's desk.
The nondescript notebook was the most depressing and in the same time amusing thing he has ever read. It was not the usual diary one would keep, in which were written about how the days went. No, it was filled with stories from the past and drawings. He had to admit, Roy was a fairly good drawer. He had Armstrong's skills, whom he seen make portraits more than once. And perhaps Roy needed to see a psychiatrist, urgently. He might have developed a psychosis or something.
The very short stories he had read were about life and death, war and peace, love and hate. They were hand written and heart breaking or warming, depending on the subject. After reading a dozen of them, Ed concluded the plot was inspired from Roy's most shadowed thoughts and he was the protagonist who always suffered in silence or laughed alone at his own jokes. Yet they did not sound sappy or pitiful, they had their pride. Just like the flesh and blood embodiment.
It was a strange way to code one's feelings. He wondered if anyone else has ever read them besides him.
Feeling his throat dry, Edward left the bedroom to take a glass of water from the kitchen. Passing by Roy's room, he noticed the door was opened. He looked inside and saw it was empty. Dim light came from the study downstairs, directly below the staircase.
XXXXX
In the study, Roy was reading some old letters he had received about ten years before. He really needed to make some space in the drawers and he started by reading everything he had in them and throwing away what he didn't require anymore. His heart didn't let him throw away anything so far.
He took a sip from his drink after he had toasted it with an empty one, so that he would not drink alone. He rubbed his temples, his mind felt clouded. But he had a goal, an important one. It was not the time to think about himself and his mental faculties.
The door screeched and not before long, Edward stood in front of him with a questioning look on his face. The room reeked of stale alcohol. "What are you doing awake at this hour?"
"Well, what are you doing?" Roy retorted. He felt dizzy. 'Easy, Roy,' he warned himself. He didn't need to pick up a fight with Edward again, he had had enough of them.
"Okay, okay, Mustang, I think you had enough for the night. Why don't you go to sleep?" Ed asked after taking the glass out of the man's hand. "Don't you think you are drinking a little too much? Your liver might go on a strike one of these days."
Roy shook his head. "It's not that easy, you know, Fullmetal? Life is never that easy. It is exhausting and uninteresting," he said as he laid his head in his cupped palms. Ed raised his golden eyebrows and took a seat on one of the couches behind him.
"Tell me," Roy continued. "Were you here today?"
"Huh?"
"No need to lie. Pretty pathetic, am I not?" The raven haired officer chuckled. "What do you think?"
"Yeah, you are," the blond admitted. "Why do you have so many photos?"
"So I shall not forget those who sacrificed themselves for me and those I sacrificed myself for. I like to keep track of things," Mustang said while staring at Fullmetal's mouth. He tilted his head and bit his lips, a sudden heat coiling inside his stomach. His eyes saw everything with a touch of fluff, in the quality of cotton.
With an abrupt gesture, Roy rose from his seat and came in front of the blond youth. His drunken mind pushed him to kiss the lips he had been following with his eyes a few moments before. He pressed their mouths together hard, almost like he wanted to swallow his subordinate whole.
Edward, not really registering the intrusion, stood unmoving, until his brain finally noticed the moisture on his lips. Pushing the man away, he cracked, "What the hell is wrong with you, you- you!" He could not find any words for the officer in front of him.
Roy's eyes widened and he opened his mouth, no sounds coming out. "Err..." he made sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I think I drunk a little too much. Forget about it," he replied confused. "Err... I will go to sleep... you should too... yeah, that's it. Sleep, yes," he trailed off. He could not stop talking, words tumbled out in torrents. He covered his mouth with a hand, preventing himself from saying anything else.
He clenched his other fist and pressed it into his hip. He didn't feel any pain, not even the pressure. He was too mortified to sense anything. Did he really kiss Edward? How drunk was he? He needed to stop that terrible habit, it only made him do stupid things.
Roy stormed out of the study, his hand still clasped over his mouth. It started to hurt, his heart twisting inside his chest. He hated feeling so vulnerable.
Ed stood still. He felt warm and somewhat relieved, if he were to be honest. He rose from his seat and escaladed the stairs to his bedroom upstairs. Not surprisingly, Roy's bedroom door was closed. He gulped and knocked before entering.
"Hey, bastard, are you alright?" he asked from the doorway.
His commanding officer stared blankly at the ceiling. He stood limply on his back. He looked so small in the large bed, so helpless. He answered without lifting up, "I am sorry that I've invaded your personal space, Fullmetal. I didn't mean to."
"I figured you didn't mean it, don't fret," Ed stated monotonously and approached the bed. "You never mean anything, you bastard."
"What are you saying, Fullmetal?" Roy moved his eyes to look at the blond who cautiously seated himself next to him.
"I have no idea, you know? Just felt right to say it. You see, we have been running around the bush for quite some time, I think." Ed tilted a shy smile, looking intently at the floor.
Mustang moved to stand by his shoulder and stared at the other's face, boring holes in it. His mind was hazed and his eyes were unfocused. He didn't notice when Edward turned to face him. He could only feel the cold hand that cupped one of his cheeks.
Ed stroked Roy's cheek slowly to make him more at ease. He was tired of their constant fights, maybe they needed some tender moments to talk. "Tell me now, Mustang, what do you really want from me?"
Roy closed his eyes and inhaled deeply."What do I want? Support and loyalty."
"Really? So you are not mad on me? I mean, you told me you will court martial me," he said, changing the subject. Maybe the raven alchemist kissed him by accident, in desperate need of contact. There was no need to cling to that.
Roy sighed. "Why would I? You should just learn how to respect your superiors and everything will be fine. Or at least pretend to, it's not too hard."
"No matter what you say, you know I will never give you the satisfaction to see me behave. You are lying, you know you are." Edward took his hand away from Roy's face and put it in his lap. He wanted to avoid the subject and it still sounded like a good idea to just let it go, but he needed to know. "Why did you kiss me?"
Roy clicked his tongue. He was too tired to start talking about that, but he humoured his colleague. "Alright, Fullmetal. What part of my situation you don't understand?"
"All of it?"
Roy's head was slightly spinning, but he forced himself to talk. "You make me feel so darn confused. What is your problem, Edward? First, you insult me like no other. Then, you accept to help me. Then, you spend time with me and we have a good time together. All is good until you insult me again and run from me like I am the devil. Now, you are awfully kind and I am awfully tired and have a major headache and my mind is gloomy and-" he stopped, realising he has lost coherency. "What is wrong with you, really?"
"I don't know..." Edward whispered. "I don't know," he repeated. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, thinking of the strange images that sometimes popped in his head when he was alone. How they always had Roy in them, so gentle and warm.
Lifting his molten gold eyes to meet charcoal ones, he bit his lips before pressing them to the other's fine and thin ones. He let himself prey to the most sinful sensation he had ever experienced.
'What am I doing?' he thought, yet he didn't stop. He couldn't stop, he couldn't do a thing but fall deeper and deeper into the abyss.
A/N: Pow, that's the forth chapter, thanks for reading!
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