Chapter twenty one: Realization.

Alone. That's what I was. The sudden close of the door, sending a gusting wind into the cottage consumed all around me. Cold, alone and silent. No sound but my own racing heart that had escalated from the breakout. I had argued with Alec in the past, but nothing like this. I had never gotten him to the point where he would storm out. Where he wouldn't even look at me! Bella and Edward argued every now and then, but when Edward left the room, he would always look back. Then, in a matter of minutes— yeah, minutes. They couldn't stay mad at one another— she would follow him out; and then everything would be okay again. They'd finish it with a kiss, and it would go right back to being fine and dandy. Alec didn't look back. He slammed the door, and vanished. I was fighting off the tears that wanted to run down my face. I had gone against my personal note. Never piss Alec off too far. This was definitely too far.

How stupid was I? Actually using his past against him! What was I looking to gain? Obviously, I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel exactly what I was feeling. Alone and vulnerable. And yet, with using it against him, I just just become even more alone. Even more vulnerable. I shouldn't have said it. They way his eyes darkened, the way his lips twitched as if he had just been stabbed in the back— which he basically was— and the way his jaw clenched so hard a small crack appeared on the outskirts of his his sculptured cheekbone. I had gotten what I wanted, I hurt him... and in reply to that hurt, Alec left. I deserved to be alone, obviously. But, who was I kidding. We'd get through this... Right? He had just left in order to prevent us in actually getting violent, which I could tell by the way his body tensed at every insult spat he was used to getting violent in arguments, perhaps. Refraining from it, clearly wasn't what he did. He had gone to calm down, and I should do the same. So, I reluctantly picked up my bag and opened the door that had slammed shut; peeked out and was welcomed by a soft breeze. The only movement visible was the trees greenery being gently swayed side to side. No clad black cloak, no burning crimson eyes, no cocky smile. Nothing. I let out a sigh, somewhat disappointed that he wasn't just outside, leaning against a tree, calming himself down so that I could go up to him and apologize.

I began my lonely walk home. I hadn't done this in a while. If I could remember, the last time I walked home alone would be the time Alec forced me into reading lines in the rain. I glanced behind me, in half hope to see him standing there; but caught the vivid picture of my memory instead. Him, dragging me along while I complained, he was laughing. Stop it, Reny. He's coming back. He will come back...

When I opened the door, I was captivated by the sound of the T.V. Grandma was sitting, watching Oprah. Bella was beside her, and Alice beside her. Edward was in the kitchen with Grandpa. They were too busy going over notes to notice my arrival. The ladies watching the T.V however, didn't.

"Nessie," Aunt Alice beamed, her glistening teeth that were coated with a toxin of venom on display as a note of affection. Grandma was smiling at me, as was Bella. "You're home early,"

I shrugged. "I had an argument with Ivy," I mused. I might as well take Alec's advice, after all... Maybe he was right. I had all their attention in that small spec of a second. Grandpa and Edward were still none the wiser. "It's fine though," I added. "It's better I make a clean break now before we move."

Their eyes twinkled with pity for me.

"I do not want pity, nor want you feeling anything about what has happened. Do I have your word?"

Alec's voice purred through my ear, almost making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It was as if he were standing behind me. Casually, I glanced over my shoulder. Nothing. Who was I kidding, as if my family would let Alec stand that close to me in their presence. I doubted Alec would even do it in their presence either. He wasn't stupid, after all. "Oh, I hope you are okay, darling." Grandma soothed. Not one of them stood, thankfully. I guessed they understood I didn't want to be... fussed over. I shrugged again.

"Are you getting ready to go see Alec?" Grandma then asked, casually. A gap to my chest later, I shook my head. "He said I could have the day off..."

Well, actually... He called me a freak, in some ways. I took a little glance to Edward. Nope. Bella must have her shield up. Thank god.

"That was nice of him," She smiled. I nodded.

"Yeah... It was," Bella joined.

"I trust he's comfortable in the cottage?" Grandma added. At this point, aunt Alice had taken the opportunity to snag the remote and flick the channel to her favorite shopping channel. I gave a smile. "I guess. He roams around like he owns the place,"

Bella scoffed, rolling her eyes. Grandma smiled, and turned her attention back to the T.V. Nodding along with Alice's comments on a pair of shoes.

I took the final steps towards the stairs, but stopped on the first one due to Bella calling.

"Oh, Renesmee?"

I turned, giving my best 'I-really-wanna-sleep' look. "This won't take a minute,"

"Okay... What's up?"

"How do you feel about going to Alaska for your birthday?"

My brow arched. "Alaska? To see the Denali's? Uncle Emmett, Jasper and aunt Rose?"

Bella nodded, his lips curved into a 'I-hope-I've-done-right' smile. Oh, she did. I missed them terribly.

"I'd love that! Thank you, mom."

She grinned in response. Obviously happy with herself. "Great,"

I then continued up the stairs, into 'my' room and sank back into the bed. Maybe if I had a little sleep, preferably the whole night, then it would have blown over. Alec would meet me for school tomorrow. After all, he was a man to his word...

—xXx—

During the 'night' should I say, I was woken up and asked I wanted something to eat, which I replied 'no' with. I'd eat in the morning, and at school. Then I was woken by the sound of Jacob, asking to see me with his booming voice. Thankfully, he was sent away because I was 'sleeping.' This was all before nine o'clock. Then I was settled into a long peaceful night. The shadows' of yesterday were in the past, and it was anew. Gentle pit pats on the window finally brought me to stirr. Stretching, and walking to the bathroom; I brushed my teeth and headed downstairs. Grandma' was cooking. It was clear she had missed doing this for me while I'd be gone spending time with Alec and occasionally, oh who was I kidding! I was there all the time, sleeping there. She had made me pancakes, which I ate. Small chat was made about Jacob visiting during the night, which I replied with the best I could. Agreeing to call him later on. Then the time came for me to head outside.

Apology time. Time to think it over, which was safe because Edward was out with Bella.

Hey Alec. Look, I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said the things I did. I meant none of them. You're a great guy and I'm lucky to have you as a friend, my only friend for that matter. I hope you can forgive me.

Well, that's the basics. You can add a little more heartfelt stuff when you're walking with him. Besides, he'd come to school. It was raining. No excuse for him not to. I walked towards the door after sliding on my shoes and putting a jacket over my long sleeved white shirt complimenting my plain blue jeans. Yanking the door open, full of anticipation, I headed outside and down the stairs. Nothing.

Maybe he's on his way. I stood, waiting with my arms crossed with my bag on my shoulder. Five minutes ticked by. Still no sign. Ten. Nothing. Fifteen. Nothing. Eventually, I sighed and began towards the cottage. Maybe he was still skeptical to believe I've put it behind me. Approaching the cottage, no lights were on. It wasn't as if he were sleeping. I pushed the door open. It was the exact same as I had left it. His book on the coffee table. My glass. Hell, even the pillows were creased still from where we sat on them. "Alec?"

I called and waited. No reply. Alright. Maybe he's just being a douche and doesn't want to talk. I know how good he was at playing the silent game. I moved into the cottage, putting my bag onto the sofa as I passed. Who cared if I was a little late? It wasn't as if I had an interesting first lesson. In fact, Gym was probably on my 'to avoid for the rest of my never ending life' anyway. I searched the kitchen. No sign. The bathroom, after knocking the door. I mean, I didn't want to walk in on him showering! No sign. Checked my parents room. Nothing. I checked mine last, hoping to god that he was going through my things. Even though the thought pissed me off, I wanted him to be there. Alas... Nothing.

My heart sank. Almost instantaneously, my mind began to make up excuses. Maybe he was... out hunting and would be back later. Perhaps he went for a 'morning stroll' as he put it when I first met him and lost track of time. Maybe he doesn't want to see you.

No. That couldn't be the case. I refused to think such a thing. I decided to go with the other two. He'd come back and realise he was late, apologize for it and then come with me to school and he'd be grateful because I waited on him. Things would go back to the way they were. They had too.

—xXx—

The hours continued to tick by. I had officially given up by the time the light had disappeared from outside. The only trace of light was from the glow from the moon, and the lamp I had turned on a mere hour ago. I had even decided at one point to go into my room, sort through some clothes. I did the washing, cleaned some dishes, and I had grilled cheese at lunchtime. Turns out, my late entry to school ended up being a whole day. They probably called, or tried to call, saying I was absent. Glancing to the clock, it was now nine at night. I had waited the entire day. No trace. Well, there was always tomorrow...

—xXx—

FRIDAY.

No Alec.

—xXx—

SATURDAY.

No Alec.

—xXx—

SUNDAY.

No Alec.

—xXx—

MONDAY.

No Alec.

—xXx—

TUESDAY.

No Alec.

—xXx—

WEDNESDAY.

No Alec.

—xXx—

THURSDAY.

No Alec.

An entire week. Gone. No trace of his face what so ever. The cottage that I would sit and wait for him in was beginning to lose its smell. The delightful stench of cinnamon that left me breathless on numerous occasions. I was beginning to feel like Miss. Havisham from Great Expectations, rotting away waiting on something that will never come. Refusing to touch anything, because I didn't want it to change from when he last touched it. I was pathetic. Slowly, though... The week turned into two weeks. Then, on the Friday; I had given up. Alec wasn't coming back. I had pushed him too far. I had gone way over the limit, and now Alec was back in Italy. I wouldn't see him again... Unless they decided it was time for my death. I promise... It will be painless.

Alec's voice whispered. My eyes closed tightly. I had to stop doing that. His whispering, purring and taunting chants within my head were all I had left now. Even when I was in the company of my parents, he'd speak. I had refrained from telling them Alec and I argued, and that he was 'missing' because no doubt... They'd move us back into the cottage. The moment they did that would be the moment it really hit me. That he wasn't ever coming back and I would never see his flawless face again. I wasn't ready to funny accept that bit just get. I was just edging towards it...

This moment in time, I was in my usual ritual. Curled up on the sofa, with a thin blanket around me while I stared blankly at the door. The T.V was on, but I was paying no attention. It was just to keep my mind of the silence. Make me feel like someone else was here. I'd stare endlessly at the door, waiting, hoping.. praying. Nothing ever happened. Every night for the past two weeks, which I hadn't been attending school, I'd go home at around ten.

Knock, knock, knock.

My heart skipped a beat, but then remembered... Alec wouldn't knock. Damnit. Well, it was most probably someone in the family, or Jacob. If I didn't answer, maybe they'd go away. Figure that me and Alec weren't home. I doubted they believed Alec was here though. Grandma noted that my attitude and stuff had changed over the past two weeks. Nothing slides past your Grandmother.

"Renesmee?" A soft voice whispered. High and soothing. The handle clicked; being pushed open. A flock of golden hair swept in, along with the head of "Ivy?"

"Hey... How're you?"

"What are you doing here?" I skipped. I didn't want to answer that. Truth be told, I didn't know what I was feeling, or how I was. Numb would be a word, but then that word just brought back his face. Damn his ability!

"I called your grandparents, looking for you. They said you were here... So, here I am."

"Why?" I blinked.

Ivy simply shrugged. "I haven't seen you at school. I got worried. Wanted to see if you were still alive.." She scoffed. Trust Ivy to make a little joke, even if she didn't know how eye rollingly hilarious that was. I just shrugged in responce. "I'm alive.."

"Barely. You look like shit, Reny."

I flinched, unable to stop it. Her brows furrowed, but she held back and looked around. Her next question was what got me. "Where's Alec?"

My breath hatched in a small gentle sob. "Gone."

"Where?"

"Home."

"Why?"

"... I was a bitch to him. He had enough."

"Renesmee," I think she caught on with the whole 'Reny' being sore, since Alec was the one who invented that, "We're all bitches. It's in the girl gene. But I don't think Alec would have had enough," she closed the door and came in. She picked up my feet, sat down and then rested them over her legs. "Casper... I love this movie." She mused, eyes locked onto the T.V. I gave it a gentle glance, watching at Stretch was sucked into the vacuum cleaner. "Remember when we were kids watching this? How we all cried when Casper danced with her?"

I half laughed, nodding. "Yeah... and then Suzannah refused to sleep until we made up a story where he did become human."

"God that took forever, didn't it!"

I smiled, sitting myself up completely. "Where are they?"

Her eyes danced. She clearly had gossip. "Suzannah's with Mark and Shannon's at mine... with Josh."

My eyes widened. "What?"

She nodded. "Yup. Mark broke up with Mercedes a couple of days ago.. Then asked Suzannah on a date. She agreed, and now... Well they're together. And as for Shannon... Kinda makes me wanna barf, but she's dating Josh now. Even if he's my brother and all, and it's gross... I'm happy for them."

I smiled, nodding. "That's good then. What about you?"

She shrugged. "Chris is hinting at a relationship with me, but nothing so far. It's a work in progress. He gave me his jacket the other day, and then Mark said it was a start. When I asked how, he went into this whole lecture on how guys only give their jackets to their property. It's like proving their territory, and whatever. Showing other guys that you are theirs and stuff."

Wait... What? Jackets? My mind instantly went right back to the moments Alec had given me his jacket and his cloak. All because I was cold, but perhaps it was something more? Don't be idiotic. If it meant more, then he wouldn't have left.

"It's better than nothing." I said.

"What about you, eh? Miss. -shot? I heard you were offered Juliet if you could persuade Alec to be Romeo."

I half laughed. "It wasn't really a kiss... And Alec wanted nothing to do with it. Besides... He's gone home. I'm Juliet's mom."

"Pitty. You and him would have made an epic Romeo and Juliet."

I rolled my eyes. She had no idea, but yet she was right on the spot. Me and Alec were sort of like Romeo and Juliet in a way, minus the whole.. being in love thing. But the act of us being too different, and eventually our differences in covens, and what not; would be the death of us. I sighed deeply.

"Besides... It was a kiss. When did he go home?"

"Two weeks ago."

"When you went home at lunch?"

I nodded. "Did he kiss you goodbye?"

I laughed. "He didn't even say goodbye, Ivy. So, no. He didn't."

"Oh... Well, I don't think he's gone then."

My eyebrows pulled up in confusion. "What?" Of course he was gone! I didn't see him around. There was no trace of him what so ever. I would bet my life to him being back in Italy, beside his sister. He would have forgotten all about me. I'd be surprised if he even remembered my name...

"Renesmee, stop being so modest. You know exactly what. By god, you're my best friend. I think I would know when you are hooked, line and sinker on a guy. And you definitely with him."

I laughed. "Best friend? And no I wasn't."

She nodded. "Yeah, the whole fight things over. This is me apologizing. Now stop it, and just listen okay? I saw the way you looked at him. The moment he wrapped his arms around your waist in the parking lot, which made Nathan crazy- oh, that reminds me... Nathan's asking about you A LOT. Anyway... You're sprung on Alec."

"No I'm not,"

"Yes you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No. And even if I was... It wouldn't matter now. He's gone."

"Renesmee... I don't think he would leave you without saying goodbye. Wanna know why?"

I nodded, reluctantly. "Because... The way you looked at him? He looked at you the same. Maybe even more. That's why I was jealous."

I opened my mouth, but she put her hand up. Damnit. Another Alec reminder! "Shut up, Reny. Yes. I was jealous, because I wanted Chris, hell anyone, to look at me like that. And yet, you had it. You had him watching you with a dazed expression, with total love and affection and you didn't even know it!"

Love? Affection? Really? My heart was racing again, and my eyes were fighting tears. "He'll come back. I know he will. Because I'll be damned if I'd leave something that special behind without giving it a fighting chance. You wait and see, and when he does come back... I want to take the full authority to say 'I told you so' and you to take me to dinner. Alright?"

I just stared at her, trying to process her words. "Alright, Renesmee?"

Her voice was more stern, as if she knew it all. I nodded, to get her off my back.

"So... When he comes back, you giving him your V card?"

I picked up the pillow from under me and smacked her playfully. A burst of giggles erupted, and eventually we settled down into watching Casper.

"I hope you don't mind, but I told my parents I was staying here tonight." Ivy said, midfilm.

I laughed. "You told them before you even got here?"

She nodded. "Yeah,"

"What if I had said no?"

"I would have still stayed."

I laughed, grinning towards her. She popped some popcorn into her mouth and chewed. Some point during a break, we had made popcorn and gotten coke. Turns out, I thought I had lost Ivy, and my friends. When reality was, I never had. The only person I might have lost... Was in Italy.

Ivy ended up staying that whole weekend. We also took the liberty in inviting Suzannah and Shannon over, who were thrilled to have the group back together in one piece. The entire weekend we stayed in the cottage; watching films, gossiping, laughing and telling one another what I'd missed, etc. Eventually, when monday came; the girls were still staying. After Bella spoke to all their parents, agreeing to wake them up on time to be at school; I reluctantly agreed to go to school. After two weeks of being absent, I guess Bella was just happy for me to going back into my regular routine. Though I felt empty sitting at the lunch table with my friends chatting all around me. I'd daze off, watching the cap on my bottle of water, imagining him sitting swirling it around and around. Imagining us all watching him with total amazement, like we once had. But almost every single time, I'd be ripped out of my daydreams. I knew I was acting pathetic and stupid, because it was all my fault, and I knew I would have to face this at one point, because like Alec said.. He couldn't be here forever. I'd have to get used to him not being there. But let's face it, I would say I'd get used to it and I was ready in the past, but when it came down it it... Would I ever be ready? Would I ever get used to him not being around? I would have to try.

—xXx—

It came down to Wednesday and rehearsals for the play where now half through. Apparently, I had missed a severe amount. Not that I cared all that much. I hardly had any lines, thankfully. Besides, all eyes would be on Brittany and Nathan, who got Romeo and Juliet. I bet Brittany was ecstatic, considering she was still trying to dig her claws into Nathan. Nathan had tried to talk to me over the past few days, but I'd either get interupted by my friends, or he would get dragged away by his. So far, there was no luck. Not that I was looking forward to it, since we still hadn't had the confrontation about me going along with the kiss. Oh well. When I got home, Jacob was there. I hadn't called him when I said I would, apparently he was still trying to get hold of me. No chance in avoiding him now. He was looking normal, if anything. He had his hair cut, that was probably the only difference.

"Hey," He said half-heartedly.

"Hi."

"You okay? Your mom said you've had a tough two weeks. Everything alright with the le- I mean Alec?"

I held back a flinch and nodded. At least he was trying, even if it meant nothing anymore.

"Good. So, I was wondering... Do you wanna come to a bonfire tonight? We're telling the stories... You're favorite. The guys miss you an-"

Jacob was intending into going into full on persuade mode. I had to interrupt him in order to stop it with the only way I could. "Alright. I'll go. Let me get dressed,"

He nodded, a beaming grin coming. When I went upstairs, I dressed in a pair of grey sweats, a black tanktop and a plain hoodie over the top. He was still standing waiting. So, I left with Jacob. All went well during the walk, when we reached the cliff, Paul and the others were building the fire and Sam was sitting hugging into Emily. To be honest, they all had their imprints there. Apart from the ones who hadn't found theirs yet. So, basically Leah, Seth, Colin and Bradley. Didn't understand why though. They could all be great people, especially Seth. Leah... Well, she was Leah. Things began to die down when the fire was lit and everyone was eating. I however kept quiet, much to Jacob's dismay. He kept trying to pull me into conversation, but I moot. Why talk when I had nothing to talk about really? There was no point in hiding it to Jacob though. He wasn't stupid, he knew Alec was out of town. He probably knew he was never coming back, hence why he was trying to get back on the scene. Seeing as I didn't have my inspector anymore.

"Nessie?"

I glanced up from my half eaten hot dog into the dark eyes of Jacob. He was concerned, clearly.

"You alright? You've hardly ate."

"I had a big lunch," I lied. In fact, I spent that entire lunch looking at my damn water bottle.

"Oh, well... I have to talk to you."

"Shoot," I mused, taking another bite and chewing it down. He seemed to relax the moment I took another bite. Anything to keep him off my back. "So, you know the whole imprinting thing?"

I nodded. We'd gone over this when I was eight...

"Remember the stages?"

I nodded again. Couldn't remember the exact content of the stages, but what the hell.

"Well... I'm kinda at stage four."

I frowned. "Stage four?"

Probably wasn't a good idea to say it with a mouthful of food, but he wasn't taken back. He just laughed and nodded. He seemed comfortable telling me, though. Couldn't be so bad.

"When the imprintee is old enough, the shape-shifter's feelings grow into uh... romantic ones."

I stopped mid chew, otherwise I would have choked. Oh god. No, not this. How could I have forgotten stage three?! When I was eight, it was the one I wanted the most! I had drawn pictures of our wedding, granted they were crap and I'd even make Jacob play along. Damnit, how could I have forgotten that! If he would have told me this when I was eight, even if it was a little peado-ish, I would have jumped to the chance. Now? I held no 'romantic' feelings towards Jacob. He was my friend! Not my... lover.

"What I'm saying is... I want to move forward from friendship, Nes."

He probably took my silence as me thinking it over, trying to figure out what he was saying. I wasn't that stupid. I knew what he was saying! "That's... nice and all Jacob.. But I just don't think I'm ready for that kind of stuff."

"You're sixteen tomorrow.. I just wanted you to know. Y'know.."

"Because I'm basically an adult after that?"

He nodded, giving a shrug. "It's sweet, but I'm sorry..."

His shoulders slumped, but a frown came about his face. Oh dog. Here we go.

"It's the leech, isn't it? He's scared you out of wanting love because he doesn't believe in it."

I wanted to glare at him, but all I could do was stare at the floor. He was wrong. Alec didn't scare me out of love because he didn't believe in it. He didn't scare me out of anything. If anything, he brought me towards it. It hit me like a wrecking ball. The stomach twisting moments when I thought it was just a crush, when I thought I liked him... turned out to be more. Alec didn't just make me like him as a friend, or like him as a possible boyfriend— that thought made me want to laugh. Alec, being boyfriend material. Ahaha!— but made me... love him.

I swallowed shakily, washing myself of the food in my mouth. Choking hazard gone. Now, was the real test. In that split second, I had flashes of us together. Moments of complete happiness, and ones that were hilarious due to our petty arguments. It was as if I was dying, and getting my life flashed before my eyes. Only, this was just of me and Alec. Every words he ever said to me whisked on through my head.

"What I want and why I am here are two different things, my dear."

"I'm here... to watch over you."

"Calling your mother and father by their names... How rebellious."

"Would you like me to walk you back, my dear?"

"I never said you weren't. Have a pleasant night, miss Cullen. Sweet dreams,"

"You want me to refer to you as the loch ness monster? I'm sorry but I can't do that."

"I apologise but I refuse to call you that, Renesmee. You realise I would be calling you a monster by calling you that name. You are more normal than any of us, thus you shouldn't be referred to as a monster. You should be named something unique, as that is what you are.. I shall call you by your full name for I simply am not using that excuse of a nickname for you."

"Arrivederci,"

"Ah, yes. The task I was set for the day, Well, can I just say your name is very, very complicated to get any nicknames out of."

"Mini."

"Do you really wish for me to answer that?"

"Well, I can't copycat, can I."

"Reny?"

"If such a name passes your lips again, you shall lose your tongue."

"Reny... I'm originally from England."

"On the contrary, Reny. I'd rather look like this than my actual age. Besides, what is wrong with looking like a teenager? Isn't it the prime of every human's life?"

"Well, whoever doesn't notice your beauty should have a severe wake up call. You have grown to be quite the beautiful girl, if I may say so."

"I won't bite, Reny, Unless you would like me too,"

"Then it shall be fun kicking your butt, Reny."

"I'm enrolling into Forks High school, Reny."

"Sweet dreams, Reny."

"I'll carry this for you,"

"I'm being polite."

"You're being stubborn,"

"Just before you attempted to kiss me."

"They reminded me of a sunset reflecting into the ocean, I remember thinking... How was it possible for a monster to have such beautiful and angelic eyes."

"No... Yours are much more thrilling."

"Then I assure you, Reny. We shall be friends forever."

"Then there is nothing to fear. As long as I'm here, you're perfectly safe."

"I don't own a cellular phone. I meant, printed off and put in a frame, Reny."

"Forever implies a thousand years, Reny."

"Goodnight, fair Juliet,"

"You looked too peaceful to move,"

"You are all it takes to hook a guy."

"Are you planning on making a waterfall of milk,"

"Hello beautiful,"

"You seem like it's a punishment to receive a kiss off me."

"You are completely impossible to please, Renesmee."

"You are very, annoyingly, stubborn, Reny."

"You know, no one has ever challenged me like you do,"

"Good, I like being challenged by you."

"I may be, why? Are you willing to play with me?"

"Of course. I find myself wishing I didn't have to return. This time away has been the best in my life,"

"Forever is a very long time, Renesmee."

"You did amazingly."

"Are you challenging me?"

"I shall walk you home, m'lady. It's getting far to dark now, and I'm sure you have studies in the morning."

"Perhaps one day, I may allow you to do so."

One day. My eyes were shut, and I was glad they were. I could feel the tingling within my nose, and the gentle dampness wanting to break free from my eyes. That was why I was acting like Miss. Havisham. I didn't just lose a best friend... I lost the man I loved. Ivy was right. Who was I kidding? She was always right! The only thing I doubted her on though, was him looking at me in the same way. If he did, he wouldn't have left. Because I now know for sure, I would have never of left him. I stood quickly, eyes still closed. "I have to go home, Jacob. I'll... call you."

And with that, I ran. Ran right through the forest and towards Forks. I didn't care if he was following me or not, I just wanted to cry myself to sleep. I wanted to hug myself so tightly, the whole burning in my chest would fill and I wouldn't be alone. I couldn't risk mom seeing me like this, because she'd want to know what was wrong, and when I refuse to tell her... She'd let dad get in my head. Instead, I found peace in the cottage. There, I buried my head into my pillow and cried my heart out. When, and only when, I was ready; I went home and went right to bed. Tomorrow, I'd see aunt Rose, uncle Emmett and uncle Jasper. Hopefully, they could take my mind off things.

—xXx—

I was alone in a dark place. I couldn't see a thing, apart from the shadow in front of me. I was scared. Too scared. I just wanted to run, but all around me was darkness. I wanted to cry out, but my voice was mute. Then, in an instant, as if God had answered my prayers, light surrounded me. Everything was bright, and I was in the meadow. The meadow I had danced with Alec in, wearing nothing but a white dress. I looked around, for the scary shadow figure and almost fainted on the spot. Alec. His eyes were open and light, as if screaming that he missed me. He was back. Alec was standing just out of reach, his lips were twisted in a subtle smile. Within the depth of whatever was floating around in his eyes was one emotion I had never seen on his eyes before. Something I only ever saw when Bella and Edward looked at one another. Something you only expected to see in fairy tales. When all was lost, you know you still had that one thing. Them.

He was gazing at me with such an intensity, a burning desire began to build in my stomach. I took a step towards him, but he took one back. Keeping the distance between us. I frowned, putting my hand out; indicating I wanted to touch him. A desperate look came across him, as if he were fighting between two surges. Not to come to me, which he obviously saw as the proper action, or to come to me; which he wanted. I could see it, written all over his face. I gave the best pleading look I could manage, jerking my hand out more. His eyes closed momentarily; so hard that lines appeared either side of his perfect orbs. When they opened, I saw his answer. Within a flash, Alec was in front of me; my hand that was stretched out; clasped in both of his hands. He was kissing the tips of each and every single one of my fingers, delicately. It took all I could not to swoon, but then again, when didn't I have the feeling of wanting to swoon in the presence of Alec? Once kissing each of my fingers, he began to move up my wrist, my arm, my forearm, across my shoulder and up my neck. Then, when he came to my cheek; his eyes opened and looked into mine. His head was resting on to mine, his nose to mine. I let out a shaky breath, jerking my head up slightly, so my top lip grazed his. Alec's lips peeled into a little smile, but tortured at the same time.

One of his arms slinked its way around my waist, holding me to him. The other hand was on the back of my neck; holding my head into place. Not that I would want to move. I was helplessly happy where I was. Again, I jerked my head; bringing my lips closer. Alec didn't hesitate this time. He pressed his lips to mine, devouring me within one move. Gently, his tongue passed through; entering my own orifice and introducing my tongue to a sensual dance. The taste was intoxicating, my heart was racing. I was clinging to him. For dear life. Nothing would break me from this, and if something did... I would tear it apart myself.

Alec let a little groan pass his lips and enter mine. Just the sound of him caused me to mimic his noise. I gripped tighter to his shirt, seemingly trying to claw open the buttons of his shirt. I was failing though. I had seen in movies girls kissing like this, then they would pull his shirt off; run their hands over his chest. I just wanted to try it out. Alec let out a little chuckle, clearly he heard my little thought. I didn't mind though. In a second, Alec moved us; so I was resting back on the grass. We were outdoors? Who cared. He was gazing at me now. His lips in a perfect little smile. "I'm trying to be something you'd miss."

I frowned at his sudden confession. "Something I'd miss?"

He nodded. "I want you to remember me... Remember that I was your first kiss. That may not be a thing you might not wish to admit to others of our kind, and I understand that, but as long as you remember it was me..."

"How could you even think I'd ever forget you, Alec? I've missed you so much."

He shrugged, running a thumb across my cheek. "I never believed I would find someone I wanted to remember me, who would miss me.."

"On the contrary, Alec;" I used his usual line, "everyone knows you. And if they know you, they remember who you are."

"They remember me out of fear, Reny." He paused, grazing his nose across mine. "I want you to remember me out of something completely different."

"Of what?" I whispered.

He hesitated, his eyes looking down. I moved my own hand to his face, forcing him to look at me. "Tell me, and you have it."

"Of love."

I felt my heart rise to my throat. The beating was immensely high. I just gazed into his perfect eyes. Taking in all the emotions floating within them. This was the most emotion I had ever seen Alec have. Fear was defining in his eyes. He looked lost. Waiting. The edges of his eyes were hard, cold. But still beautiful. The look in his eyes that took over all those emotions was the fear... and love.

"I love you, Renesmee. I loved you the moment you called me Ally. You feel the same... don't you?"

I couldn't find words to say. I wanted to, but I couldn't. Nothing came to my lips. I was just laying there, gazing into his eyes. Did I love him? Could I love him? Unconditionally? With his choice of lifestyle? His freaky spurs of being bipolar? His overall cheeky, sarcastic, snarky, free spirited hidden personality? His ways of being carefree then turning to being on guard and deathly? There was only one answer. I knew it already. He knew it. We both did. "Yes."

His eyes melted in that moment, burning with lust and love. His lips tweaked into a smile, all fear that was floating around his face with his confession gone. "Say it.. Please. I need to hear you say it," I breathed.

"I love you, Alec. I loved you the moment you said 'sweet dreams.'"

His eyes closed, taking in each of the words. I watched, anticipation coursing through my veins. He loved me. Alec, the one everyone feared, hated, and saw as a emotionless prick, loved me. He was mine... like I had always been his. His eyes opened, and in that instant, his mouth found mine. Bringing the house down with his sensual moves. This kiss was nothing like the previous. This one was full of love. He was letting out. I couldn't help but moan, taking it all in... All of him...

Alec shook his head, his smile brightening even more. I opened my mouth; but Alec brought his finger to his lips, instructing me to keep quiet. The curious frown sawt a permanent place on my face. "I missed you so much more than what I should have."

"I waited for you... Every day, in the cottage.."

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting," he whispered, pecking my lips again.

"Don't leave me again... Please,"

"Never... I'd go to the ends of the earth to be with you. You're my world, Reny."

"You're mine." I smiled back, running my hand across his cheek. "You always will be."

"Renesmee?" He said, his head leaning into my touch.

"Yes?"

"Print the picture off. Please?"

"I'll do it right away."

"When you wake up?"

I frowned. Oh no. Not again. Please not again. It felt so real! "This isn't a dream.."

He sighed and nodded. "Print it when you wake up.. And Renesmee? Happy birthday."

My eyes snapped open to the light. No! Not another dream! Please no! It was so real... He said it. He kissed me. He loved me! I scrambled out of bed and grabbed my phone. Print the picture of. It was his request. I'd do it. And on a side note... I'm sixteen. Wow.

A/N:

Okaaay, so I think we've covered you want lemons, so I'm going to be nice and tell you there arelemons in future chapters!

Challenge time, me thinks. 390-400 reviews; and you'll get an extra update. ;)

So, get reviewing. Muwha.

-C.H