Flynn knew? Fucking Flynn knew Ana was pregnant and lost our child and didn't tell me? I am so fucking angry, I can't think. Who the fuck does he think he is? What is he, fucking God? How dare he not tell me. He pretends to be my friend and then he keeps shit like this from me. Fuck! I want to rip his fucking head off his body. I bury my face in my hands and feel the tears. Tears of shame. Here I am a fucking billionaire and my baby dies in the woods with a fucking security guard in attendance and gets buried in an unmarked grave in a fucking IPhone box. I look at Taylor sleeping and try to get control of myself. Breathe, in and out. Breathe, in and out, I repeat it to myself like a mantra. Slowly, I regain control. I leave Taylors room, frightened because I know there is so much more we need to discuss. Frightened because I know I am not dealing with the majority of what he told me. I need to see Ana. At first, I never wanted to see her again. The pain I felt at her betrayal with Taylor was indescribable. I remember Elena's words, 'some people aren't met for love. You are one of them. 'I can't count the number of times she said ' love is for fools. '
Who do I trust now? There's no one left. I don't trust Dad, I need to learn more about his actions while I was away. I wouldn't ever involve mom in this shit. Elena is dead. Ana is in a coma. Taylor was once my go-to guy, but not now. I have fucking no one. Karma. Life is fucking me over for all the people I have fucked over. Shit.
I walk out f the staff area and down the hall to the Great Room. I meet Welch coming out of security. He greets me and then let's me know my brother is coming up in the elevator.
I stop. I feel my heart race and my breathing pick up. Why is he coming here? Why?I didn't invite him here. My anxiety is going through the roof. I step back and feel the wall behind me. Welch said something as he passed me to greet Elliot. I suddenly feel terrified. It makes me remember the dark frightening nights I spent in the woods, all alone, hurt, cold and in pain. Everything so black, you can see nothing. Somehow, the hallway in Escala has disappeared and I am back in that woods in dark black nighttime. I can hear animals scuttling in the underbrush. I can hear something grunt not too far off. Suddenly, I scream as loud as I can, "Taylor! Help me!" but just like always, Taylor never comes. I squeeze my eyes shut and try so hard not to cry. I pray as hard as I can, but God knows better than to listen to a bastard me. I am alone.
Suddenly , I feel arms go around me, just my shoulders. My hallucinations are getting out of hand. I hear a familiar voice calling me. I stand mutely, tears streaming down my face, amazed at what the mind can do to provide comfort. Then, I feel a hand on my face, wiping the tears away. I smell something familiar and begin to listen, really listen.
"Christian, its me, Elliot. Its okay. You're safe. I am with you. No one is going to hurt you. Christian, its me. Open your eyes. C'mon bro. C'mon!"
Slowly I open my eyes and there is my goofy brother. My hands are trembling. I need him. I need to feel him. I wrap my arms around him and bring him close. I hold on for dear life, tight and hard with all my strength. Nothing will ever separate us again, I vow to myself as I bury my head in his shoulder and sob uncontrollably. He holds me close and for the first time since the crash, I feel safe.
I dont remember how long we stood there, holding each other, crying, but it was a long time. It took Gail to pull us apart when she announced there food and drinks in the Great Room, if we would like. I smiled as Elliot eagerly broke away and followed Gail to the food, dragging me along.
We ended up sitting at the breakfast bar, just like old times. Gail had made me chicken noodle coup and a grilled cheese sandwich. The doctors still wanted me on a light diet. They act like I was starving. I ate more days than not, usually or rabbit or squirrel. I had fish sometimes. When the snares came up empty and there was nothing to eat, I'd suck on grass or a small pebble. I drank a lot of tea those days. I didn't know what the leaves were but it didn't matter.
Guilt suddenly swamps me. I can't remember thinking about Elliot while I was away. How can that be? He is my fucking brother! Why would I call for Taylor when I have a brother like Elliot. I am such a dumb fuck. I smile at him between bites of my grilled cheese and say,"Lleliott!" We both grin like idiots.