When everything else was falling to ruin, when Remus was failing Potions, when he had a rough transformation a few days back, when he was sick or cold or hungry he didn't need anything to numb his feelings or pain. He didn't settle for the drink like a middle aged man that had made some risky economic choices. He didn't need to settle for any sort of substance to keep him functioning. These days he didn't even need chocolate.
You see, whenever he felt sad or slightly less than average he only needed to see Sirius smile, laugh or to see his face alight with some explosive joy that came from the pit of his stomach.
That's the thing, when you're hopelessly falling for someone every single one of your senses becomes more electrified and sensitive. Strangely, your senses are only acute as long as you're around the reason you've fallen in love with. This does not necessarily mean the said person knows about your condition, none the less.
You begin to notice little things. Remus laughs at the way Sirius' eyes crinkle to touch his hairline and tickles the bridge of his nose. He also seems to hear Sirius' breathing change pace, his foot move from under the table in class. He is a bit too aware of Sirius when he's sitting next to him at breakfast, he can measure the amount of space between their arms. He's counted how many breaths Sirius has taken since he dropped his fork.
Remus recites the joke Lily told him yesterday. He pronounces the three sentences clearly, darting his eyes to meet Sirius' for a fraction of a second. Remus presses his thumb into the blunt side of the knife to distract himself and to throw Sirius out of his head.
It's almost hopeless, a warm honey coloured syrup is making its way through Remus' lean frame. It's making him feel a bit lightheaded, actually.
He focuses on the cool metal, sliding the tip of his thumb to brush against the engraved patterns at the handle.
He finishes the joke. He then dares to look at Sirius one more time.
Then he counts until he laughs.
Three, two, one.
Sirius' chuckle shatters everything Remus ever knew at once. For a moment Remus doesn't feel anything at all apart from the reflected joy Sirius is illuminating. He doesn't know which ways up or down or where he is.
Then he remembers that he's with Sirius. And everything seems to be fine again.
"Nice one," Sirius commented, his smile was still etched onto his face. It almost extended past his jaw and with every second it lasted on his face, Remus would be smiling for an additional hour. "You okay? You look a bit pale."
"I'm completely fine."
Reviews have been slacking off a bit lately, have I offended everyone?
Yes, yes I have. Seriously though, what happened?
That reminds me! Go to my profile right now! I have something I want you to look at!