Chapter twenty one: Morning blues.
The morning was a calming one. The sun rose heavenly over the mountain tops, creating light to their surroundings; and Mary couldn't be more welcoming to the new day. She often dreaded it when the sun arose, for it meant another day of plotting and playing games with some dangerous coven, but this time was different. This was the first morning she actually looked forward to what the day had in store for her. And she put it all down to the fact that Delilah leaving them that night, or more so Scott giving her 'time alone' had probably been the best choice he had ever done.
Because things had gone from great, to better. They had played on the swings, wiggled their toes in the grass, hunted together, and then just had each other for company throughout most of the night. All due to the fact it was just them in the house to begin with. The sweet perfumes of his natural scent lingering around her. Just there among the silence and serenity away from everyone else, trapped within a little home was all she believed she would ever want. Scott's attention on the TV, watching the blasted sports channel.
At first, Mary had thought it would be like usual. Sitting on her own seat watching him watch the TV. But that wasn't how it had happened. Scott had called her over to him, and once she sheepishly made her way over, Scott wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. Both of them sprawled on the sofa, Mary in front and Scott behind. His chest pressed up against her back, her legs entwined with his. And his arms... Oh, his arms. Wrapped perfectly and protectively around her. She wasn't a fan of sports, but in that moment; she didn't want them to ever end.
With just Scott there, she had felt home than she ever had since she was turned.
It had gone on for the entire night. Scott's arms wrapped around her, his thumb drawing small patterns on her arm every now and then. His breath on her neck, for his head was nuzzled on her shoulder so he could see the TV. Even when Delilah had returned, she was sure he was going to move away from her. But he hadn't.
Delilah hadn't even commented on it. She just said to them that 'she was here the whole time.' When they agreed, evidently she didn't wish for Lilianna to know she had gone out on her own for a while - not that they would tell Lilianna anyway. They had her back, always - she returned to her counter, sat crossed legged and stared outside.
Mary had dreaded Lilianna coming home, for she was positive that would be the moment Scott removed his embrace from her; but the heaven's had been on her side. She hadn't returned, and Mary had been in his arms for the entire duration of the night. Delilah hadn't moved either, but that was to be expected.
Now, with the sun rising, Mary was positive this was how it was supposed to be. Scott holding her and Delilah being there. None of this Volturi mess, none of these games Lilianna had them playing. Mary had always liked the simple things in life, and so had Scott. She wasn't sure about Delilah, but deep down she believed she enjoyed them also.
She just wished Lilianna would come to her senses and this could be how it was for all eternity.
"You're dead comfy, y'know," Scott whispered into her ear. One of the few things he spoke to her throughout the night. It had mainly been her asking what the game he was watching - which she knew was baseball - and what certain things were. But this was the first thing he had said, without her instigating the conversation.
"Really?" She turned her head, causing her cheek to brush against his. He moved his head to give it a little space, but it was far too late. Mary's skin was already burning, and the livewire of nerves were kicking in.
"Yeah. If I was human, I'd totally be asleep by now."
"You'd be asleep anyway. What human wakes up at this hour?" Mary's lips curved into a toying smile.
Scott was taken off guard. Not just at the fact Mary had cracked a little joke - which he found utterly adorable - but the way her face lit up when she smiled. It was a rare thing to see. Mary often just sat in the corner, quiet and content with everything around her. The few times Scott had seen her smile; it was always a small one. Just a gentle curve to her mouth, but it always caused a flutter in his stomach, but this time... This time was different.
Her whole face lit up, her cute little teeth on show, her crimson eyes sparkling from the sunrise. If Scott hadn't any self control; he knew he would have kissed her. Hell, he wanted to kiss her. He had wanted to kiss her for a long, long time. But there was always that fact that he wasn't allowed too. He wasn't allowed to feel these things he had. He shouldn't be feeling them. They were wrong. She was supposed to be his sister, and brothers didn't have these feelings for sisters.
Scott's face reflected Mary's smile, the amusement resembling her own.
"Alright, cheeky," He scoffed, giving her body a tight squeeze; forcing his chest to dig in closer to her back. "But I mean in general. This is nice."
Mary couldn't agree more. It was nice. It was more than nice. She prefered this over her bare feet in the grass. If she had a choice of being in Scott's arms for five minutes, or having the grass at her toes for all eternity; she would always chose the first option. It didn't just feel nice, nor amazing. It felt... Right.
Mary's feature's softened, and to Scott it looked as if she were about to lean in and press her forehead against his while her body twisted around halfway to face him. But just as she began to move, the door opened and closed again. Both Scott and Mary froze on spot.
A few seconds past; but both of them knew exactly who was coming. They knew they should probably move, but they were just too strucken by the fact they might've been caught in some moment, they practically couldn't.
A tall slender figure walked through the threshold, dressed in white and as intimidating as ever. She stopped before going any further. Her eyes on them, while they watched her like rabbits caught in the headlights.
"What are you two doing?" She didn't sound impressed.
Obviously! Scott was cuddling up to Mary, and they both had guilty looks upon their faces as if they had been caught doing something wrong! The panic and dread running through Mary's dead veins spiked. Scott knew disappointing Lilianna was something Mary had never, ever wanted to do. Out of all the 'siblings' in the house, Mary was the one who looked up to Lilianna the most. Who saw her as an angel, in some sense. Despite all the wrong she was doing and making them do, Mary always saw the best in their 'sister.'
It amazed Scott, but Mary was never one not to amaze him. It was for that reason, and that reason alone; he couldn't allow her to be the one in the wrong. Even if it meant taking the fall himself.
"She was anxious," Scott lied fluently. "Waiting for you to come back; since we thought you'd be back last night. I thought a cuddle would help."
Lilianna frowned for a number of seconds, but her features softened and a slight smile took over her flawless face.
"That was real brotherly of you, Scott." She practically cooed. "I thought I was the only one who knew cuddling would make her feel better."
Scott cut the conversation off with a simple smile. That might've been the moment he should take his arms from Mary, but he couldn't. In fact, it was mainly because he didn't want too. He kept his arms firmly around her, but a little less possessive as it once had been throughout the night.
"Where have you been anyway? We were expecting you last night." Scott said again, arching an eyebrow at her.
"I've gotta' eat too." She shrugged, making her way towards them and sitting on the edge of the sofa; by Mary's stomach. Her body half turned to look at them both.
There were one of two things Mary noticed. One, she was smiling at them. And two, she didn't seem to be in a bad mood. Not like she last had been when they had seen her. Something must've gone on that put her in this mood. Lilianna wasn't one to just have a sudden mood uplifting.
"Where's Delilah?" She questioned, turning her head to look at the door.
As if on cue, Delilah came to the doorway and stood with her arms crossed.
"Have fun on your little trip away?" Delilah questioned, her challenging tone on complete 'on mode.'
"Oh, Delilah," Lilianna sighed, shaking her head slowly. "Please. None of this behaviour; I am in far too much of a good mood to deal with it today."
Delilah raised a brow at her questioningly, scoffed and shook her head. Slowly, but surely, Delilah made her way over and sat on the floor beside Lilianna's foot.
"So, are you back for good now?" Mary asked. Scott felt a small squeeze from her hand overlapping his. He wasn't entirely sure if it was a good squeeze, or a bad one. Whether it was due to her nerves at the fact his arms were still around her, or because she didn't want Lilianna to go again. Probably both.
Most definitely both.
Scott moved to retract his arms from around her, but her hold on his hand grew tighter; stopping him completely.
Evidently, it wasn't the first option then.
A flutter erupted through his lower abdomen. Even more so when her thumb started to brush over his hand in a caring, tentative movement.
"Well I do hope so," Lilianna smiled. She turned her head from Mary and Scott to Delilah on the floor, back and forth as if to take in each of their reactions. "I think I might've done it this time."
From Scott's position, he managed to see Delilah roll her eyes and look away. As if too disgusted to even look at Lilianna. Did she know something they didn't?
"Done what?" Mary was the one to ask. Her voice full of curiosity, yet complete and utter innocence.
"He will be mine," she flashed Mary a smile. One of her hands moved and rested on top of hers, the one that had been stroking his hand. That motion had been put to a complete and utter stop. Her other hand shifted to land on Delilah's shoulder - who was still looking away, and taking no interest in what she had to say whatsoever.
"I've said that from the beginning, have I not?" Lilianna finished with a small giggle.
He wasn't entirely sure why, but that giggle alone sent dread throughout his entire body.
"Yes," Mary nodded, her own lips twisted into a gentle smile. She was viewing it in the way both Delilah and Scott should be. If he was hers, then they were one step closer to this family she had in store. That the days of games and plotting would be over, and she could have the simplicity she craved. The simplicity she had lived the prior night, when everything had just been right, calm and easy.
"But how did you get him?" Scott asked. He couldn't help himself.
He heard Delilah scoff silently. Luckily, Lilianna chose to ignore it. Probably because this was how Delilah usually was, so it was nothing out of the ordinary to her. Where as for Scott, he had been there to view the change in Delilah. He had seen how distant she had been lately, and uncaring to practically anything around her. So the fact that she had scoffed; it was almost as if she was back to how she usually was... Or something wasn't right.
"Lets just say..." Lilianna's eyes were on Scott, beaming happiness and true serenity. "The little hybrid had a change of heart and understands things now."
What the hell did that mean? A change of heart? Scott had met Renesmee. He had seen Renesmee. He had watched Renesmee, and Alec! There was nothing in this world that would make her change her heart on what she felt for him. When Scott observed both Renesmee and Alec together... It somehow reminded him of Mary and himself; minus the part of being together.
The looks they gave one another. The way they moved with one another, as if in sync sometimes. It was a replica as to how he sometimes saw himself with Mary, yet were forbidden to do so openly and freely.
But what could she possibly understand? Lilianna wanted to take Alec from her. There should be no understanding needed for that. If it were Scott and Mary in that situation, he wouldn't have a change of heart all due to the fact someone wanted to take her from him. Oh, no. He would be damned if that would even. Over his dead body.
Yet, as confusing as it seemed; perhaps it was a good thing? Mary didn't like all this moving around, nor going behind peoples backs, or hiding and being the villain. She was far too pure to willingly get involved in it; yet she had no choice. She followed her family's way. When it came to Mary, she had no backbone. So, Scott was her backbone. He would always be there to hold her upright and be there to protect her. If this hybrid having a change of heart was what it took in order for Mary to be happy, Scott decided he wasn't going to go against it or question it.
He decided it was indeed a good thing. A very, very good thing indeed.
A smile plastered itself onto his face. Lilianna was beaming back at him and gave his hand, and Marys under his; as well as Delilah's shoulder a gentle squeeze.
"So what now?" He asked.
"Now," Lilianna replied, taking a short pause while her smile grew larger.
We wait, Scott was waiting it. That was all they ever did; when they weren't toying with the guard. It had almost become a hobby of theirs now. Messing with the tracker seemed to be his. He wasn't sure about Delilah's, since she wasn't quite herself lately.
"Lets go for a walk. All four of us."
Surprise found its way onto all of their faces. Even Delilah looked at Lilianna in surprise, but said nothing. None of them did. Lilianna stood up off her seat and made her way to the door, expecting them to follow. When none of them did, she looked back and laughed.
The surprised look was still very much there.
"Well, come on!"
Whatever had gotten into Lilianna, or whatever had happened to make her like this, Scott and Mary were thankful for it. They liked her when she was like this. It was when she was like this that they felt closer to her. Closer to who she really was, deep down. All it took was for Lilianna to get what she wanted, and she would be the most angelic person ever. Scott, Mary and Delilah knew that much by now.
With no hesitation - apart from having to remove themselves from the cuddling situation- Mary and Scott bounced up and rushed to meet Lilianna at the door. His arms slinked around both their shoulders, towering over them with one hell of a smile on his face. The smile that Mary had always had a soft spot for.
The only person who hadn't moved was Delilah. She stayed still on the floor, looking at them with a blank expression.
"I think I'll stay here. I'm not really feeling... Too great." Was her explanation.
Lilianna frowned, as did both Mary and Scott. But those two understood. Delilah needed time to herself. Lilianna went to object and order Delilah to come with them when Scott gave her a quick tug, pulling her to him.
"C'mon. It just just be us three. Let's give Delia a bit of room, eh? She has been stuck with Mary and me for a few days."
Lilianna laughed. She actually laughed! And boy, did it sound good to hear for both Mary and Scott. They really, really liked this Lilianna.
"Alright. But don't smoke inside. I cannot stand the smell."
Obviously the smell hadn't gotten past Lilianna, and seeing as the scent mainly lingered around the kitchen - and that had been Delilah's territory while Lilianna was away, it was evident it had been her.
"Duly noted. I'll go outside."
Lilianna nodded, and Scott took that as his chance to pull the girls out of the room and towards the door. A walk with his sisters.. Or sister, and one tragically placed sister. It would be hard, having to push these feelings aside for Mary, but what choice did he have?
He had none, and nor did she. They would both have to endure this for the rest of eternity. And despite that being a complete and utter downer on the good vibe going on; the fact Lilianna was happy lightened it all up. For once, the girl they were always trying to please and keep happy, was actually that. They weren't going to waste it.
Delilah listened as the door closed, and inhaled deeply. This was wrong. This was all wrong. He would be hers, she had said that from the beginning; and it terrified her. But what she was doing... Everything she was doing to get him? It was immoral. She wasn't just making their lives dangerous, but she was ruining a young girl in love's life.
Delilah in that moment... Felt completely, and utterly responsible for the misery that was soon going to come to not just Renesmee, but the man who scared the living daylights out of her. Alec didn't deserve this, and neither did Renesmee. All they had ever done was fall in love with one another, and here they were... Lilianna and her so called family... Ruining it.
She didn't care to begin with, for she didn't know them; but now looking at it... Delilah felt severely guilty. This wasn't just Lilianna's doing anymore. This was hers, because she had seen it; and she had done nothing to stop it. If she didn't hate herself enough before hand, now she did now. A lot.
—xXx—
I lay awake, staring at the ceiling above me. Renesmee's head was on my chest, while her arm was draped across my bare waist. Her heart was calm and easy, mimicking her breathing. She was always most relaxed when she was asleep. Her dreams were usually my favorite part, mainly because it gave me the insight on what truly was going on inside her ravishing little head.
But oddly, there hadn't been any dreams.
Not even with her skin on mine, the connection being there for me to see into her deep subconscious thoughts. She didn't even so much a mumble in the cute little way she did. Even our time last night hadn't been entirely usual. It seemed a lot more... Forced, really. Renesmee was severely urgant. As if she couldn't get enough of anything. Like she was soaking it all in, relishing in it and keeping it locked up. I wasn't complaining, of course not. Why would I? I had enjoyed it. Especially the second time around. Twice within one night.
Of course I had flashes of the past, when I couldn't get enough of hearing her say 'I love you.'
But that was all she seemed to be saying now. Over and over, again and again. As if trying to reassure me she loved me. Why, I didn't know. Again, I wasn't complaining. Hearing that she loved me was something I would never grow tired of hearing.
A knock at the door stole me from my thoughts and dawning on practically nothing. My eyes turned towards it, and gave out a silent whisper of 'Come in.'
If no one entered, it was a human. Probably one of Renesmee's friends, seeing as no maid came up here. These parts of the castle were off limits to them. The door opened silently, confirming that it was indeed a vampire who had heard me granting entrance. My hand that was around Renesmee, holding her to me reached down and pulled the blanket more up Renesmee's body; all the way to cover her shoulders.
A bush of russet copper hair was the first thing I noticed, and my eyes narrowed automatically. What the hell was Edward doing here?
"Her friends are leaving at noon." Edward answered my unspoken thought, doing all he could to seem nonchalant and calm. But I could see past it all. I could see through the cracks, and the anger at the fact I had Renesmee lying in bed with me; asleep. It was obvious we hadn't merely had a little innocent sleepover.
"Please," Edward spoke through gritted teeth. "I'm doing my best to ignore it."
"She isn't a child anymore, Edward." I pointed out, arching an eyebrow. "She can do as she wishes."
There was a small flare within Edward's eyes. Evidently, me pointing out she was no longer a child registered something deep within him. I knew exactly what it was, because I once also had that look in my eyes. When I had realized Jane no longer needed me to protect her, or be there for her constantly. Jane had grown up, just as Renesmee had.
"Will you wake her," Edward asked, averting his eyes from my own. "Please?"
It seemed odd. Hearing him happily be civil to me, despite not needing too. Renesmee was asleep. There was no one else here. I knew he didn't like me, and quite frankly, I didn't like him in return. So why on Earth was he being... Civil?
"I'm doing this for her," Edward answered.
"I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of my head, Cullen."
Edward smirked. But before I had the chance to open my mouth and speak to him in some sarcastic response to his smirk, Renesmee's voiced overtook my own.
"I'm awake."
Automatically, I looked down at her on my chest. Her eyes were indeed open, and her body was beginning to move off me. She gripped the sheets closer to herself, covering her body from her fathers eyes. I could see the bright red in her cheeks, but she more or less just stared blankly to him.
"Good," Edward nodded, looking down to his feet.
There was silence, but I watched as Edward frowned but nodded his head. Then gave a sad smile. Then nodded once more and turned around to leave. Just before he shut the door, he shot me an apologetic smile. I wasn't entirely sure why, but I hated it nonetheless. Why the hell would he feel apologetic towards me? If anything, I should feel apologetic to him! I had slept with his daughter! Twice!
The door slammed shut, clearly he wasn't pleased with my mental scream at him.
The silence continued, so I turned my head towards Renesmee. She was sitting there, clutching the cloth to her body. Eyes on something and anything but me.
"Morning."
"Hi." She replied.
"Sleep well?"
She shrugged her shoulders, and scooted herself up off the bed.
That sickening feeling that was in my stomach the prior night returned.
"Are you alright?"
"Mhm." She chipped as her only reply.
I couldn't help but think back to when she had refused to speak a word to me, and when she had; it had only been that of getting under my skin and seducing me into submission. There was only so much I could do when it came to this girl, and denying her was not one of those things. However... Now? It was a brand new day.
"So, what was wrong with you last night?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. "Don't think I haven't forgotten, Reny."
"It was... Nothing. Seriously." She was lying. I could tell.
"It wasn't nothing. You were crying."
"I'm emotional... I cry at a lot of things." Again, lying.
"Then what was all the commotion on asking if I knew you loved me?"
"Um," she wavered for a second; picking up her t-shirt and pulling it over her body. "I was just sad that Ivy, the girls and the guys are going home. Just means that my time here is over too."
My heart swelled. I didn't want to think about that. I couldn't think about that. It was only last night that I realized I would practically do everything and anything to be with her. That I would ultimately leave my sister and coven in order to be with her in death. So did that mean I would do the same in life? I wanted too. God, I wanted too. More than anything. But then it struck me.
Carlisle must've spoken to Aro! Perhaps, if I brought it up to Renesmee, she would want that enough to help convince Aro in letting me join her. Even for a few weeks. Maybe a month? I couldn't say goodbye to her just yet. I had only gotten her back what felt like yesterday.
I pushed myself up and came behind her, sliding my arms around her waist and pressing a kiss onto her shoulder. "Your grandfather came to me yesterday,"
"Oh?" She asked, melting into my touch. Her back moved to press into my chest, while her head tilted to the opposite side, allowing me access into more of her throat. "What for?"
"The idea of me coming back to Alabama with you, or visiting in the summer."
Renesmee turned a little stiff in my hold.
"Reny?" I questioned, automatically noticing the resistance to my lips on her throat, and her somewhat defensive hold. She let out a sigh and wiggled out of my hold. All I could do was sit and watch her pull her top down over her body more, pull on her underwear - the ones I had instructed her to wear. I hadn't expected her to wear them, but she had - then continue picking up the rest of her clothing.
"Reny," I said again, a frown beginning to form onto my features. Something wasn't right. She didn't answer me, so I took it upon myself to raise my voice a little higher.
"Renesmee, I swear to god if you don't answer me!"
"You'll what?!" She spun on her heel, giving me a glare I hadn't expected to see.
"What is going on?" I spun the questions, confusion obviously lingering upon my face. How could she have gone from loving one moment, to this? It didn't make any sense. We were fine, weren't we? Everything had seemed fine to me at least. Well, that was a lie. Things had seemed weird ever since Demetri and Felix had returned her to the castle. She was somewhat distant, reluctant. Yet she had also been hungry, and possessive at times. I wasn't her father for christ sakes. I couldn't read minds. I needed her to tell her what was wrong in order to fix things.
"You tell me."
"What?" I blinked.
In all honesty, what the hell did that even mean? I was far from even slightly comprehending the mere reason why she was acting this way to even come up with some excuse for it myself. Usually, I was somewhat sharp as to why Renesmee may be in some mood with me. Like perhaps I had said something that offended her - about the dogs, perhaps? Or the fact I hadn't been around her so much lately, thus resulting in a mood. Or maybe she was just completely insane! But alas, despite my usual sharp take on things and quick understanding on certain situations; I was in the dark in this one. So I couldn't tell her anything!
"You lied to me, Alec."
"I lied?" I scoffed, my head tilting. "When?"
"Oh, so you didn't? So that kiss with that girl didn't happen?"
I was sure if my heart had been beating, it would have stopped in that instant. How could she have... When did she...
Why I was asking these things I would never understand. I already knew. I supposed I had known from the moment I had learnt she had gone missing. There was no way in hell she was able to go missing without Demetri being able to find her straight away unless Lilianna had been a part of it. Even Jane would have been able to catch her scent and follow it. Despite the fact our tracking skills weren't all as sharp as Demetri's could be - since he could pinpoint practically anyone in the entire world - we could still track. It was a basic skill, his was just a lot more enhanced.
I had known from the moment Jane uttered the words Renesmee was missing Lilianna was the one behind it. Lilianna had been the one behind almost everything. Even despite the deal I had made her, she had gone against everything. I should have known better. She had always been a stubborn one, and often tried to get what she wanted. I supposed I just hoped I might've been different. That despite what she wanted from me, she would understand that she couldn't; and the fact we had once been friends would compensate and make her understand. That she would take my view and what I wanted into account.
Evidently, I was completely wrong.
Lilianna was selfish, vindictive and got what she wanted. She would stop at nothing. I knew that now, and it was obvious she had gotten to Renesmee. She had tried to pry us apart. She had stolen Renesmee from right under our noses - which angered me to no extent - and told her things that Renesmee didn't need to hear. Of course, she had a right to hear them. It had been tormenting me at the fact I couldn't tell her; but that kiss had meant nothing to me. It never would mean anything to me. Because she was not Reny, and she would never compare to Renesmee.
It was a mistake. It never should have happened. Hell, I didn't even want it to happen! It had taken me by surprise, and shocked me to the point where I had been frozen.
"I can explain." I spoke, deeming that it was probably best not to continue to lie to her.
"You promised me," she spat, her eyes narrowed in my direction. "You promised that everything was alright, you pinky promised!"
It was probably highly inappropriate, but I found it extraordinarily cute how she had brought that into it.
"You said you'd tell me if it was serious."
"And I would have, if I thought it were."
"So you think that your psycho former love comes back from the past, admitting her love to you, kissing you, isn't serious? That it isn't something you should share with me, the supposed love of your life."
When she put it like that, it did sound serious.
"Reny-"
"Don't Reny me." She held up her hand, her eyes still reflecting that of anger but more profoundly hurt and pain. "I trusted you. I loved you, and you do this?"
"I didn't do anything," I kicked myself up off the floor, pulling on a pair of boxer shorts as I went. I took a few steps towards her, making my way around the bed; but she just backed up and kept her hand out as if to keep me away from her.
"You let her kiss you, Alec!" She shouted, throwing her trousers at me in frustration. The bounced off my chest and landed on the floor in a pile."How would you like it if I did that to you, huh?"
I stared at her, eyebrow arching in confusion. "Excuse me?"
"How would you like it if Jacob had kissed me, and I let him?" My teeth clenched almost instantly. "If he had confessed his love to me, and pressed his lips against mine, and held me.."
"Stop!" I snapped, frantically trying to shake the image from my head. She knew for a fact I didn't like Jacob, and I made no attempt in trying to hide that. He was very well aware of it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Renesmee was mine, not his. She would never be his. "Just... Stop."
After a few seconds of silence, I looked back up and found her eyes with mine.
Renesmee held the gaze firmly. Yet despite the anger in them, all I could see was the hurt, the pain and the disappointment. The last one was what killed me the most. To think that I had disappointed the one person I wanted to be proud of me the most killed me. I had once wanted that feeling with Aro. I did all I could to make him proud, to see me as the perfect son he had always wanted. I tried to be him, and although I had achieved that; that didn't even come close to what it felt like with Renesmee. I tried my damned hardest to be a better person for her, because she deserved the best.
"When did you find out?" It was pointless in asking, for I already knew.
"Last night." She replied softly, her eyes falling to the floor at her feet. "Just before Demetri and Felix came and got me."
"So why didn't you say anything before..."
Renesmee was silent for a few seconds, while I let my eyes study over her. Her heart was going wild. The mere sound of her racing heart made me nervous. I made me feel as though my own heart was skipping a beat, and mine didn't even beat at all!
"I wasn't sure what to think, or say for that matter." She whispered. Her voice was strained, and somewhat broken sounded. My chest ached. My palms felt sweaty. I didn't like where this was going. I had been in this situation before. Arguing with Renesmee in some way, and it had caused me to leave her for days on end. I didn't wish to argue with her. Not after that time.
"So last night..." I frowned, silently questioning her reason behind sharing herself with me. Why would she do that, if she had been angry with me? She hadn't seemed angry at all. She had just seemed a little too eager. I had thought nothing of it at the time, yet now I was beginning to dread the answer.
"Alec, don't." Renesmee shook her head, causing my insides to twist even more.
"Why? Why did you sleep with me last night, Renesmee? If this had been grating on your mind. I have a right to know."
"You treat me like an idiot! I knew something was wrong! You were being so strange lately. Did you honestly believe I wouldn't notice?! How distant you were becoming. The secret little talks with your sister, Demetri and Felix?! I'm not an idiot, Alec!"She threw her hands up. "You kept this from me, when I could have helped you! I would have helped you!" Renesmee shook her head, her hands moving to hide her face. "I just.. I can't do this, Alec. I cant!"
"Then don't." I said easily. It was that simple. This argument... We could sort it out. We always sorted things out. Be it with taking some time apart, or talking it through. We always made it work because we loved one another.
"It's not that simple. I have too." she huffed. I didn't like the way she was speaking. It was muffled, and strained sounding. Reaching out, I took her hands in mine and removed them from her face.
There; I was faced with Renesmee's puffy looking eyes. Red and bloodshot, her face was pale and her eyes watery. She was on the brink of tears.
"I'm sorry, alright?" I said, holding her hands tightly within mine. Renesmee shook her head, but I continued. "It didn't mean anything. This was my problem to deal with, that's why I didn't tell you. Not even Jane knows. Then when she came to me... I stopped it once I realized what was going on. I never wanted her to kiss me. I never wanted her, alright? I want you and only you. I love you, I will only ever love you. Always and forever, remember?"
Her eyes look up to mine, and I could see it. I could see it right there in the deep shade of brown I adored. My world was falling apart, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. That didn't mean I wouldn't try.
"What can I do to make you see that I will only ever want you?" She flinched. Was I getting somewhere? I freaking hoped so! "To be with you always. I'll... I'll leave the Volturi, if that's what you wish. I'll be with you, wherever you want to be. I will follow you until the ends of the earth. Just.. Don't."
She took a heavy, heartbreaking breath.
"I slept with you last night," Renesmee spoke, firm and sad at the same time. "as a goodbye, Alec."
My unbeating heart felt as though it had been shattered. Everything sense of feeling left my body apart from the aching pain soaring throughout my chest. It honestly felt as though a hole had just been punctured right through me, and no matter what; I couldn't stop it from happening. For it was that one word 'goodbye' from her lips that had caused it. She had caused it.
"Don't.." I shook my head in return. "Don't do this, Reny."
"It's already done. We're done, Alec."
"No. No, we aren't."
"We are. Accept it and give up."
"Never!" I hissed, removing my hands from hers to secure them onto her face. "I will never give up on you... On us."
My head moved forward to rest onto hers. She sucked in a breath, tears streaming freely down her face. I did my best to catch them with my thumbs. Brushing them across her cheeks and wiping them away. The more that I caught, the more that seemed to just keep flowing.
"This is what she wants Reny. Don't give her what she wants, don't let her win." I whispered, uncaring as to how weak my own voice was sounding. "Don't do this. Please. I need you."
It was true. I needed her. I've always needed her. Even when I tried to believe I could get over her, it was because I was positive it would have been what was best for her. I once wanted her to move on and do better than myself; but now facing that prospect... I couldn't bare to let her go. She was mine, or more so I was hers. Without her... What would I be?
I had always believed she deserved better than a mere Volturi guard with sins under his belt enough to scare the Satan himself, but she had made me a better person. She had made me push all that aside; and become the person I had always wanted to be. Despite what her family had said, she had ignored it and continued to befriend me. To love me. She had gotten through the walls of defence I had put around myself, and she had gotten to know the real Alec. The one I was sure I had lost a long time ago.
"Alec," my eyes were closed, but I could already picture the look on her face. My jaw clenched as I tried to keep in the unconditional need to scream for the surreal amount of pain soaring through me. Her hands moved to mine on her face, gently intertwining her fingers through mine and pulling them from her face. "She's already won."
My eyes opened slowly to look at her face. All I could see was the same emotion I was feeling. Pain, devastation, hurt, sorrow; but the only difference was that she had determination on hers. She was serious about this. She was deadly serious.
"If you love me," I said through clenched teeth, my eyes burning into her own tear stained ones. "You won't leave me. You would not be doing this."
She sucked in a breath, and for the smallest of moments; I believed I had her. I had a small chance at hope lingering in the air like a small beacon. She had said she loved me countless times last night. Probably more than what she had ever told me before in our relationship. She must've meant it, chanting it over and over like she had. She must've... Right?
"I did love you," she said her eyes faltering in the smallest of ways. "But after last night... Thinking things through.."
Time came to a halt.
"I'm not so sure I do anymore. We're just... Too different Alec." She took a small breath, her eyes never once leaving mine. "We were kidding ourselves from the very beginning believing we even stood a chance. It's time to wake up, and face the reality. We were never meant for one another."
My world shattered.
"I'm leaving with my friends today, my family are coming also. That's what me and my father were talking about just now."
I couldn't breathe.
"I don't want to see you ever again unless it's mandatory for the Volturi to get involved with our life again. But besides that, I'm letting you go. It'll be too hard to see you again. I'm sorry.."
All I could do was just stand there and watch as she bowed her head, and removed the Volturi necklace from around her neck. Stepping forward to me, she took my hand and placed it in my palm, and closed my hand around it. She leant down and picked up the trousers from the floor then rushed to the door. Standing with my back to her, a breath hitched within my throat. The room felt as though it was getting smaller, and smaller.
"I really am sorry, Alec. I hope one day... You can forgive me."
I couldn't move. The most I could do was turn to face her, but take a step was practically impossible. I felt as though I was stuck on the spot. She was leaving me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. No matter how hard I tried, or whatever I said, Renesmee had come to her senses and realized I was no good for her; and now she was going and never coming back.
Her eyes stayed on mine for a few more seconds, another tear streaming down her face and hitting the floor. "Goodbye, Alec."
The door closed, and I was completely alone.
My life, my love, and my strength had just left me stranded. I was numb, I was cold, and I was broken. As if on cue, my body finally realizing I was under trauma and could barely handle it, my knees buckled from under me and fell to the floor. I looked to the necklace within my hand. The one thing I had given her when we had first said goodbye; as a symbol that I would always be with her. That a part of me would always belong to her; and she had given it back. She didn't want it anymore. She didn't want me any more. She was truly gone...
Lilianna had won.
She didn't love me anymore.
No. This isn't happening.
I wouldn't let her leave. Not like this.
A/N:
WELL... How are you all after that?
Trust me, it killed me to write. However, this is NOT the end.
Reneslec forever, right? Though... That really is the question now, hm?
Leave a review on your thoughts.
See you all next week!
-C.H