Hey, Nukia here!
This fanfiction is a side story to Beyond This Love.
I don't know if any of my old readers are reading my rewrites anymore, but I'm going to keep going. Sorry for the delay, I've been busy like I said in my author's note in my last chapter. It will be like this for a month, also I turned off my guest reviews because my confidence keeps getting knocked.
But thank you for the reviews, favorites and the alerts! Also to the unknown people who read my fanfictions, I promise it will pick up at some point! If you don't like it, then don't read it.
Chapter 30!
I placed my box of tissues down on my dressing table, I walked over to Backup and placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me from the floor, he took hold of my wrist and pulled me out of my room. He took my housecoat from the back of the door and draped it around my shoulders as I watched a few students running down the corridor. I wonder what's going on? I turned my full attention back to Backup, I watched him close my room's door as I wrapped my housecoat around myself. He took hold of my arm and began to lead me down the corridor with a group of other students. I stopped him when we got to the door which led down to the ground floor of The Wammy House, I took hold of his arm and felt something wet on my hand. I quickly removed my hand from his arm and saw some red liquid on my hand, it looks like blood. I looked up from my hand at him, I shook my arm free from his hand and stepped away from him.
" What is going on?" I asked. " Is this blood?"
" You need to come with me, it's important..." He replied.
" Tell me what is going on first, why is everyone up at this ungodly hour?" I asked. " Please, what is going on? Why is Nonie so upset? I need to know why you have blood on your clothes, what have you done?"
" I have done noting wrong which may surprise you, it's not me who as sinned this day..." He replied as he put his finger tip to his lips. " It's amusing how you blame me the minute something tragic happens in the orphanage, I am not the conductor in my Alternatives little deadly mishap..."
" Deadly mishap?!" I asked, I quickly grabbed hold of Backup's arms and frowned at him. " What do you mean by deadly mishap?! What as happened to Aiden?! Please tell me now!"
" So you were both on first name bases, how interesting..." He replied with a smirk. " I hate being the barer of bad news, but our Alternative is no more. He's not of this earthly realm, he ceases to exist or should I just say he his dead..."
" You're lying!" I frowned.
" If I was lying then why is Nonie crying?" He asked." Didn't I tell you that someone we both know was going to leave us very soon, I for one would never joke about my Alternative's demise..."
I felt my heart stink in my chest, A can't be dead. He was meant to be spending the night with me in my room tonight, Backup must be lying. I removed my hands from his arms, I noticed more of the red liquid on my hands as I let out a quiet sob. This would explain why Nonie was so upset, he can't be dead. I looked up at Backup from my hands, he was watching me with a blank expression on his face. He reached his hand towards my face, he wipe a few tears away from my cheek with his thumb as he lowered his gaze from mine.
I shooed his hand away from my face, I pushed him away from me and ran through the doorway that led to the ground floor. I felt my housecoat fall from my shoulders as I hurried down the two flights of staircases, I barged through a group of students as I left the stairwell. I ran along the corridor that led to A and Backup's room, I need to see him. I turned right into another corridor, I saw some yellow tape stealing off part of the corridor where a group of students were standing. I stopped dead in the corridor when I saw a body bag being wheeled out from a room on a stretcher, I covered up my mouth with my hands and fell onto my knees. I let out a sob as I covered up my face with my hands, I felt something soft being draped around my shoulders. I looked up to see Backup standing next to me, I watched him crouch next to me and place his hand on my shoulder.
" Do you believe me now?" He asked. " I am also grieving for my Alternative's death, his demise saddened me even though I knew his life was coming to an end. I never a said a single word when I saw his lifespan counting down to his last hour, I acted normal and went to sleep well he listened to his music on his cd player..."
" How did it happen?" I asked quietly.
" He committed suicide, his depression got the best of him..." He replied in a softer tone. " I found him on the bathroom floor when I woke in the night to use the toilet, blood was his death-bed this night. His wrists were cut in the most perfect vertically lines, there is no hope of surviving vertical wrist wounds because they are physically impossible to sew up. But he looked peaceful, all those years of stress gone in moments. How I envied him in a way, his sorrow as ended and ours have just begun..."
" Why did he do this?" I asked. " He was always happy and telling terrible jokes, he never let on that he was suffering to make him want to commit suicide. Nonie once told me he went through a stage where he hurt himself, but other than that he was always happy around me..."
" Maybe he had us all fooled, no one truly knows a person better than themselves..." He replied as he removed his hand from my shoulder and got up from the floor. " Let me take you somewhere quiet, I've heard that Nonie as been taken to the television room by Watari. We could go and keep her company, she will need our support in this dark hour of bereavement. She was his half sibling after all, her pain must be more excruciating than ours..."
I looked up at Backup as I wiped some tears away from my cheek and gave him a nod, if he only knew the truth about me and A. I got up from the floor, I wrapped my housecoat around myself and walked with him back along the corridor. I looked over my shoulder when I heard Mr Ruvie's voice, he was shooing some students back down the corridor and telling them to go back to their rooms. I turned my full attention back to Backup, I quickened my walking pace and followed him into the television room. I stopped in the doorway when I saw Watari putting some medication bottles back into a white plastic box, I wonder what tablets are in those bottles? I saw Nonie sleeping on the sofa, he covered her up with a blanket and gave Backup a small smile as he perched himself on the end of the sofa Nonie was sleeping on.
" Watari, may inquire what sleeping medication you have given Nonie?" He asked as he put his finger tip to his lips. " I know she normally takes Ambien to help her sleep, but changing it Benzodiazepines which is known for being effectively used to treat sleep problems such as sleepwalking and night terrors. Will it have any effect on her health after you've changed her sleeping medication after 24 hours of her last dose of Ambien?"
" My dear Beyond Birthday, you have such an inquisitive mind sometimes..." Watari replied and picked his plastic box of medications up from the arm of the sofa. " But if you have concerns about your friend's health then may I unsure you that it's perfectly fine to prescribe her a stronger dose of sleeping tablet just this once. She will be taken in a short well to the hospital wing for supervision for the next 48 hour, but you will be allowed to visit her. At times like these you will need your friends around you, but for now if you would excuse me I have arrangements I need to deal with in my office..."
" I do believe it's unsafe to leave her unsupervised, would you like me to watch over her until she is taken to the hospital wing?" He asked. " It would be a pity if something unfortunate happened to her well you were away due to the medications you have given her, did you check if she is allergic to any of the ingredients in Benzodiazepines?"
I watched Watari talking with Backup, he explained to him that he had read through Nonie's medical notes before he prescribed her a different kind of sleeping table. I often wonder how he copes with Backup's curiosity, he always seems to question everything Watari teaches him. I looked over my shoulder into the corridor when I heard a few students talking about A's suicide, it seems that everyone in the orphanage knows that his death was not an accident. I walked into the television room as I wrapped my housecoat around myself and sat down on a chair at a table in the corner of the room. I looked back over at Watari and watched him gently patting Backup's shoulder as he spoke kindly to him.
" My dear boy, you know where I am if you need me. I know how close you had gotten with A over the years, but you need to be strong for the other students now and find a way to help them through their grieve..." Said Watari as he made eye contact with me and gave me a warm smile. " Elizabeth my dear, may I ask if you would keep an eye on Nonie until the nurses from the hospital wing come and collect her?"
" Yes Mr Wammy, I will keep both of my eyes on her until they come and collect her..." I replied.
" Thank you my dear, now if you would both excuse me..." He said.
I watched Watari leave the television room, I crossed my arms on the table top and rested my chin on my hands. I tilted my head slightly as I looked over at Nonie sleeping on the sofa, I never knew she took sleeping tablets. I guess we all have our own little secrets at The Wammy House, I for one do not know how I will cope without A. He really was my rock in this place, he was there for me when my Aunt Thora passed away and he took take of me when I was ill. I closed my eyes as I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, I sat up straight at the table and wiped away my tears with my hands.
" You are truly terrible at hiding your emotions, to cry is to show you have weakness..." I heard Backup say. " I can control my emotions unlike most students in the orphanage, you have to lock each emotion away deep down inside of you until you are ready to release them. I'm saving mine for the right time, I once remember my Alternative telling me that emotions can be your most powerful weapon..."
" A once told me that emotions can also bring strength for loved one in their time of need, I need to be strong for Nonie now just like A was strong for me when I lost my Aunt..." I sniffled and looked over at him. " We both have to look out for Nonie now, she as lost her big brother and she will need our support until she tells us to go away..."
" And what about me?" He asked." Will you be supporting me too? I'm grieving for my Alternative, but in a different way than you and Nonie. I'm gaining power from the grief I'm feeling for him, it's making me feel restless..."
" I guess so, I wouldn't turn my back on you if that's what you are implying..." I replied.
" Good, I need more pawns in this chess game that I call life..." He said as he stepped down from the sofa. " I will come and find you in a few hours time, I need to speak to Watari about my new accommodation for the night. Clearly I cannot sleep in my room with all the evidence and tape sealing off my bathroom, it would be very unhygienic for a start and I will be needing washing facilities after all..."
" I see..." I said quietly.
I listened to Backup talking for a while about A and other things to do with suicide related crimes, it shames me to say that he knew more about A than I did. I sighed to myself and hid my face in my folded arms as I my bottom lip began to tremble, I wish he would stop talking. I heard Backup say goodbye to me, I peeped from my folded arms and watched him leave the room. It wasn't long before nurse Clark appeared with a female nurse wheeling a stretcher into the room, I asked if I could visit Nonie at some point today and I got told that they would ask Watari if I was allowed to see her today. Nurse Clark told me to go and get some rest in my room, she even offered me a couple of sleeping tablets to help me sleep because she knew I was close friends with A. I refused to take any from her, I left the television room and quickly hurried back to my room.
I wrapped my red coat around myself as I walked along the pathway that led to The Wammy House's cemetery, A was buried over two weeks ago. His funeral was nothing fancy, just a few prays in the orphanage's chapel and then a procession of students holding candles led by Watari to the cemetery. Not many students cried at his funeral, I didn't cry either because I wanted to be brave for Nonie. But when I got to my room it was different story, I cried myself to sleep. I'm going to miss him, he was my best friend and companion. I opened the old iron gate to the cemetery, I sighed to myself and continued following the pathway.
The cemetery was quiet, not many students came here unlike Backup who liked creeping around here sometimes. I've seen him many times entering the cemetery and disappearing in this place for hours, I guess he finds peace here or he could be obsessed with death. I stopped at a white marble gravestone, the was no date of birth or death day on A's gravestone, just a golden gothic styled letter A. I took a white paper bag from my coat pocket, I crouched in front of his grave and opened the bag. I had brought A's favorite treat, he loved toffee more than anything and even had a favorite toffee brand. I took a toffee from the bag, it was wrapped in a golden wrapper and I placed it down on his grave. I came here everyday to place a toffee on his grave, the funny thing was that the toffee I placed here the day before would always be gone. I like to think that A came down from heaven to eat the toffee I left for him, it's silly idea but it makes me smile through these hard times.
" May I inquire why you place a toffee on his grave each day since he was buried?" I heard someone ask from behind me. " He can not eat them, I find it quite pointless wasting perfectly good toffee on the dead..."
I glanced over my should to see Backup standing behind me, I got up from the ground and put my bag of toffee back into my coat pocket. I tucked some of my hair behind my ear as I turned around the face him, I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. It wasn't warm at all today, autumn was passing and winter was beginning. I looked him up and down as I sniffled, I wonder if he ever get's cold. He was wearing his normal long-sleeved black shirt and blue baggy jeans, I often wonder if he his human enough to feel the cold.
" Are you not cold?" I asked.
" No, the cold doesn't bother me anymore..." He replied. " But I am here to tell you that Nonie is planning to leave the orphanage this evening, she wanted to say goodbye to you before she left. But for now you may talk to his empty grave, I was once told by my grandmother when I was a child that the dead loved music. The thought amuses me of bodies dancing in their coffins, a silly little old story..."
" What do you mean by empty grave?" I asked.
" His body was not in his coffin before his service, I wanted to take one last peak at my old friend before he became worm food. But to my surprise he was not in his coffin, it's an unsolved mystery I may not crack until I'm in the grave myself..." He replied with a chuckle." I wonder where his body is truly buried because he his not in that grave, I for one believe that something unnatural or mysterious is going on here. What do you think?"
" A was cremated, I thought you knew that already..." I replied and glanced back at his gravestone. " Mr Wammy told me that he was getting cremated before he was buried, something about DNA and no traces to be left behind. Even in death he as to be unknown, but I will always remember him as Aiden Michael Tayler for as long as I shall live..."
" So he told you his true name, he must have trusted you to share something that was meant to be unknown to people's ears, very interesting indeed..." He said as he crouched in front of me and looked up at me. " Tell me Elizabeth, was there more to your friendship? You can not lie to me because I will know or I have seen with my own two eyes that there was more to your friendship, sometimes the littlest of things can not be hidden from sight..."
" Would it matter if there was more to mine and A's friendship anymore?" I asked.
" Most probably not anymore, at least he found happiness in his short life just the once. Some people can live for 60 years and never find one moment of pure happiness, it's quite sad if you think about it..." He replied with a sigh." But it would have never worked out, you and him were not the same after all. He would have never been allowed to have anyone by his side just the same as me and Nonie. To be a successor of L is to be alone, if you open your heart and begin to care for others then you would most likely end up dead just like my poor Alternative..."
" I see..." I muttered.
" But let's say if you managed to escape this place, then rules would not abide to you anymore..." He smirked." Let's say if you ran away from the orphanage, you would get your freedom back and would be able to lead the life you always wanted to have in the first place. Your place is not here amongst these kind of people, you're meant to be living back in your little cottage with your family..."
" I'm 16 and you very well know I'm not allowed to leave The Wammy House until I turn 18, also you know all of my family passed away years ago. I'm trapped at the orphanage just like you and many other students here until they are old enough to lead their own life's or get a job in a profession that suits their skills, I for one will not be a scientist or a superior surgeon or in your case a detective..." I sighed and knelt in front of him. " What's wrong Backup? Why are you talking about these kind of subjects?"
" I'm curious about the outside world, I've never really lived in a community of people since the age of 8 years old. I want to pursue my dreams rather than letting them riot away inside of these orphanage's walls, I do not want to be forced into a future that I despise..." He replied. " To watch a friend fade away in terrible circumstances in front of my own two eyes, I don't want to live here anymore. I want to leave this place and make my own mark on this world, if I decided to leave the orphanage would you care to accompany me?"
" I don't know, I have no means to supporting myself until I turn 18 and I will not be entitled to my inheritance money until then..." I replied. " Why don't you go with Nonie, if you asked Watari surely he would let you leave too if you don't want to be here anymore..."
" It is not that easy, I am the only successor of L left in The Wammy House. The backup and predecessor to Alternative, I am afraid it will be not so easy for me to leave this place without a fight..." He said. " I see my only option being to leave this place without anyone's knowledge, but I need a backup as well. This is why I'm proposition this offer to you, I need a guide and friend in the outside world. Also I will need someone to assist me with research and the booking of tickets, if I logged onto my file on the computer then questions would arise when they checkup on my computer history..."
" But won't I get into trouble then if I research on your behalf?" I asked, I got up from the ground and brushed some dirty away from my coat. " You're asking a lot of me, I'm not sure these ideas you're having are a good ideas. You're only 16 after all, you're basically a child in the eyes of the law with no money and how far do you think you'll exactly get if Watari or Mr Ruvie go looking for you? You're just dreaming Backup, there is no way of escaping this place unless you leave it in a coffin!"
" That was a morbid tone you just took with me, but you're right about the coffin part..." He smirked. " I would not leave the orphanage without planning it first, it may take months to sort something out. But I would like your help even if it's just researching travel destinations out for me or finding out prices of airplane tickets, I would appreciate it if you helped me escape this place..."
" I don't know, I don't want you to get hurt or leave here until you're old enough to support yourself..." I sighed. " Nothing good can come from the ideas you're creating in your mind, how would you support yourself anyway?"
" I'm not to such yet, but I have access to money if that would make you feel any better..." He replied. " There is an electronic safe full of money sitting in Mr Ruvie's office behind a bookcase, I do not think he would notice if I borrowed some of it. The money is for the orphanage after all, it would be funding my future..."
" Stealing?!" I asked as I crossed my arms." Then I will defiantly not help you, I will not be part of your plans if it involves crime! How could you even think about stealing, it's so wrong!"
" I'm keeping my options open until I have made a decision, but please think it through before you make your final decision..." He replied. " I do not want to end up like my poor Alternative, he did not deserve this kind of life. Why don't you help me on the behalf of my Alternative, I know he would want us both to be free and not kept caged like wild animals..."
" Okay, I'll think about it!" I sighed.
" Excellent, what a delightful answer you have given me..." He smirked. " But for now we should go back to the orphanage, Nonie will be leaving at 5:30pm on the dot, we would not want to miss her departure..."
I watched Backup get up from the ground, he looked over the cemetery's gate and put his hands in his jean pockets. He glanced back at me with a smirk on his face, he told me not to breathe a word of what we spoke about to anyone. I agreed to keep it a secret, but I don't want to be part of his plan. He beckoned me to follow him with a nod, I followed after him and we both left the cemetery.