Pretending For What?
"Face to face and heart to heart, we're so close yet so far apart. I close my eyes I look away, that's just because I'm not okay. But I hold on, I stay stronger wondering if we still belong." Confused by the singing I looked around the cafeteria room to see Emily Fields standing on a table singing a song from Glee.
"Will we ever say the words we're feeling? Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls. Will we ever have our happy ending? Or will we forever only be pretending? Will we always, always be pretending?" Emily stared directly at me and by now everyone in the cafeteria including our best friends Hanna Marin, Alison DiLaurentis and Spencer knew Emily was sing to me.
"How long do I fantasize? Make believe that it's still alive. Imagine that I am good enough and we can choose the ones we love. But I hold on, I stay strong wondering if we still belong." Emily and I had been dating ever since my family got back from our summer trip from Iceland last year. I don't know what it was about Emily but after being away from her the whole summer; with only postcards and short skype session something just seemed to change us. It might also be Emily's big brown eyes that make it hard to disappoint, it might also be her sense of humour, the way she laughs or her big caring heart.
"Will we ever say the words we're feeling? Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls. Will we ever have our happy ending? Or will we forever only be pretending? Will we always, always be?" Recently Emily and I had been talking about our future and what it would look like; we both wanted each other in our future but nothing ever simple. We end up getting into this huge argument two weeks ago now, I didn't realise until now how much time had passed but in that fight a lot of things were said.
"Keeping secrets safe, every move we make. Seems like no one's letting go and it's such a shame. Cause if you feel the same, how am I supposed to know?" There was a confusion look on Emily's face, she had never been good at talking after an argument which is probably why we hadn't spoken for such a long time, but I think she was just confused on where we stood with each other. Standing up from my chair I decided to sing the last of the song with Emily, just so she knew that line of communication were open after the song finished.
"Will we ever say the word we're feeling? Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls. Will we ever have our happy ending? Or will we forever be pretending? Will we always, always, always be? Will we always, always, always be? Will we always, always, always be pretending?" As we finished the song looking deeply into each other's eyes, we both took deep breaths from belting out the last part of that song together. As the cafeteria stood in silence for the first time in all my years of being here, Emily and I just kept staring into each other's eyes.
I remember the first time listening this song with Emily, we were both huge Glee fans and since the girls weren't we would go over to each other's house on Glee nights to watch the episode together. Then spend hours during the week singing the songs and just talking, laughing about the latest episode and what our favourite characters had been up too. When I had return from Iceland Emily and I decided to binge watch Glee episode, when we got to this episode two days later we had decided to perform it ourselves. Just like Finn and Rachel had done in the episode, at the end of the song we ended up kissing and that was the birth of Emria as Emily cutely calls us. Breaking out of my thoughts when I heard the sound of some landing, I see Emily has jumped down from the table she had been standing on and she was now standing in front of me.
"Will we always be pretending?" Emily asked while singing the line. Seeing the confusion and heartbreaking look on Emily's face crushed me more than anything and instead of saying a word I just wrapped my arms around Emily.
"It was just a stupid, silly fight it doesn't mean we are over, okay?" I say while pulling back to look at Emily and found a tear eyed Emily.
"Hey don't cry, I don't know what's going to happen with us but I know we are going to give it everything we've got and even more. I don't enter relationship lightly Emily, I see my future being with you and we will work everything out."
"Okay, I love you Aria and I can't lose you," Emily said the magical words to my ears.
"I love you too Emily and you'll never lose me, no matter what happens."
"Aria?" Emily asked almost nervous.
"Yes Emily," I replied back with.
"Can I kiss you please?"
"Of course you can Emily." I had a big smile on my face as Emily leant forward, I meet her halfway and our lips connect for a soft, slow but passionate filled kiss. Stepping closer to Emily as she wrapped her arms around me, Emily pulled out of the kiss and tucks her head down into my shoulder. As Emily rested her head on my shoulder I brought a hand up to run my fingers through her hair in what I hope was a calming manner. Our moment was soon interrupted when the bell for ending lunch rang, I heard Emily sigh before pulling her head back from my shoulder and looking at me.
"I think we have some explaining to do," Emily said while tipping her head and I turned around to see our three friends sitting at the table we normally eat lunch at with a explain look on their faces. We hadn't told the girls about our relationship because at the start we just wanted to figure everything out and then we became comfortable in our bubble and just never got around to telling them. Taking Emily's hand I lead her over to the table and sit down in the two vacant seats left and we wait for everyone to leave the cafeteria. Spencer, Hanna and I all had free periods after lunch but Emily and Alison both had a class after lunch but I don't think either of them where leaving the table until we finish talking.
"So your dating," Spencer states after ten minutes of silence.
"Umm…yeah," I replied while slide my lunch plate over to be in between Emily and I to share
Alison asked "How long have you guys been shacking up?"
Emily answered with "We started dating around the time Aria got back from her family trip to Iceland last summer, a bit over a year."
"A bit over a year? Why didn't you tell us? It's not like we won't have been supportive," Hanna stated.
I replied with "At the beginning we were just figuring out what these new feelings were and then we became comfortable in our bubble we just never got around to telling you," looking at Emily who is nodding her head while eating cold French fries.
Alison asked "So why did Emily just make that very public declaration of love for you Aria?"
"We had a fight," Emily and I replied with at the same time.
Spencer asked "About what?"
Hanna added "Is that why we've barely seen either of you two these last few weeks because you were avoiding seeing each other."
"Something like that Hanna," Emily replied with while I said "We were fighting about our future." When I finished speaking Emily moved her chair over towards mine and laid her head down on my shoulder, pecking Emily's head before smiling at the girls
I say careful of not being too loud in Emily ears "We are sorry we didn't tell you."
Hanna spoke "It's okay, we can see where you were coming from your point of view's and you two make the cutest couple.
"Emria," Emily whispered.
"What was that?" Spencer, Hanna and Alison all asked at the same time.
Smiling at Emily adorableness, I repeat "Emria is what Emily has named us."
Hanna gasped and said "I've taught her well," shaking my head at Hanna's happiness.
Spencer then said "We should probably all head to class; we can hang out after school and get more details."
I replied with "Sounds good," Emily groaned while trying to attach herself to me.
"It's not going to work Emily, you've tried it before and it hasn't work," I say.
"Party-pooper," was Emily's replied as she sat up from laying her on my shoulder.
I suggested "Why don't I walk you to your class?"
"Okay," Emily said becoming very perky it scared me a little bit. After arranging the plans for after school Emily and I made our way out of the cafeteria in each other's arms, I walked Emily to close and enjoyed every single second of it.
The End.