Believer
Watching her as she danced with Jake, she wore this massive smile on her face and I knew that smile meant she was happy. I wanted her to be happy but I wished it was me making her smile like that and hearing her laugh was music to my ear, but again I wished it was me. Not being able to watch them anymore I turned around to see Ezra, Aria's ex-boyfriend standing there and he was watching her and Jake just as intensely as I had been. After Ezra and Aria had broken up almost six months ago now, we had somehow become friends and even though he was still my teacher it wasn't weird.
I had been falling behind in English and he offered to tutor me, it had be great fun I mean no one mad English as fun as he did. Soon the tutoring turned into a friendship, I didn't tell the girls about it though since any Ex is meant to be the enemy; even if they ended on good terms. One day when I was over at his apartment we had been going over the book for English, he was trying to get me to understand the deeper meaning behind the story. We finished studying and he offered me a beer, as long as I promised not to tell anyone and I accepted. We had begun talking about our lives away from school, soon the conversation turn to my friends and Aria. He opened up to me about the break up, he said it was for the best because it wouldn't have ended up working in the first place. There was a moment where we both let out a sigh, he asked me what was up and I ended up spilling my guts to him.
Ezra looked at me and spoke "It's not fair that one person can be so happy," he tipped his head towards Aria and looking back I saw her still dancing with Jake but her smile was bigger.
"She deserves to be happy," I replied with and moved to stand closer to him.
Ezra asked "Do you think she's really happy with him?"
"I don't know, I've never seen her smile that big," I sighed when I realised she might actually be really happy with him.
"Why are you giving up on her?" Ezra asked out of the blue.
"What do you mean?" I asked back trying to play it cool.
"Please Emily I hear how you talk about her, then look at her in class and just now I caught you staring longingly at her."
"I was not."
"You were too Emily. When Aria and I were together I used to see the way you looked at her in class, you looked like a kicked puppy and it made me feel bad about loving her."
"You shouldn't of, you were clearly who she wanted and I accept it."
"But why are you giving up on her now? She might actually like you."
"Well she clearly doesn't," I say pointing at her and Jake.
Ezra said "I don't know Emily. When we were together she talked a lot about you, she was very worried about you after Maya left and I know she would do anything for you."
"It's Aria, she worries about everything and everyone and I know she'd do anything for anyone. None of those facts makes me special because I know Aria; I've heard her talk about you and Jake. That's how I know I'll never have a chance, it's better to just leave well enough alone."
Ezra nods his head and asked "Let me ask you this then, if you knew she returned those feelings you have for her back to you, would you still leave well enough alone?"
"Of course not, you'd have to be an idiot to miss a chance to be with Aria, she amazing," I say getting lost in my thoughts of Aria.
"Exactly and I'm telling you, you're an idiot to not tell Aria how you feel. Even if she doesn't return your feelings at least she would know how you feel and we both know Aria isn't the type of person to let that affect your friendship in anyway. I think Aria would be more upset with you if you don't tell her how your feeling."
"I just can't risk rejection, not from her."
"Why? Why not?" Ezra asked
"Because if I tell her how I feel and she rejects me then I'll be crushed, no heartbroken and I wouldn't be able to be around her anymore. Which would suck, not just for me but for her, Spencer and Hanna, it would be selfish of me. If I did this one selfish thing in telling Aria how I truly feel about her then I quite possibly ruining four human beings lives."
"Only you Emily could make telling someone you are in love with them like your being selfish."
"Well it sure does feel like it," I replied with and Ezra shook his head at me.
Ezra then said "You have been in love with her since you first meet and you've kept it a secret for far too long. First it was because you hadn't come out, then it was because Noel was dating her and then it was because of me. Are you really going to go through all this pain for a third time because she might like Jake?"
I replied with "Look at how happy she s dancing with him, I've never seen her that happy and she deserve to be happy. What could I offer that he hasn't already? I have nothing to give her and for starters I'm not good enough for her, she deserves a prince on a white horse."
"That is complete bullshit Emily. Any girl would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend, your kind, sweet, funny, beautiful, talent, smart and so much more, it puzzles me that you still don't see that in yourself. Also why can't you be Aria shining princess on a white horse?"
"Because that's not how thing work out for me, I don't get the big fairy tale life and I never will so why inflict that onto someone else as amazing as Aria."
Ezra said "Okay, if we weren't at a school function I would punch you right in the face and maybe that will knock some sense into you."
"Wow, you are such a great guy; now tell me why aren't girls just falling into your lap?" I said with a smile and Ezra eventually smiled as well. Hearing the song stop playing I turned around to appalled the folk band playing this event, a new song begun playing and I saw Jake leading Aria off the dance floor. They sat down at the table with Spencer, Toby, Hanna and her date Travis. Aria took a sip of her water before scanning the room and when her eyes landed on me she smiled and waved.
"Oh Aria you are just so perfect, won't you just dance with me," I heard Ezra say standing right behind me.
"I'm not afraid to hit you, I don't care we are at a school function I will hit you if provoked."
Ezra replied with "I believe you would but then who would you get drunk with and talk about Aria all the time with."
I said "You wouldn't stop hanging out with me just because I hit you."
"No, I wouldn't it's not really my style and the last time that happen you sat outside my apartment door for a full week." Ezra walked away laughing, I gasped and glared at his walking away form.
"Hey," I heard her beautiful voice say as she suddenly appeared in front of me.
"Oh hi," I replied with.
Aria asked "What were you and Mr Fitz talking about?"
"I was seeing if he was free this weekend to catch up for a study session."
"Really? I didn't know you got help from him."
"Well, I'm terrible at English and it makes sense to get help from my English teacher." That wasn't exactly true, I used to ace English until Aria was put into my English and then staring at her seemed better than paying attention.
"Oh, if you need help I could always help you," Aria offered and it was very tempting.
I replied with "It's okay, you have Jake and Mr Fitz is happy to help me out." Looking across the room I groaned internally when I saw Ezra making kissy faces at me when no one was looking, I really want to flip the bird at him but I kept my cool.
"Jake would understand me helping you out with school, it's important that you stay with the class and not fall behind," Aria replied strongly with.
"Seriously Aria, it's okay. Mr Fitz has been a great help so far and he gives me heads up in what we are studying next, we've got a whole system down pat."
"Okay, if you're sure but I didn't think you could stand him? When we were going out you used mumble hateful words about him."
Shrugging, I replied with "That was before I needed help in English and realised he is actually a good teacher," that was part of the truth.
Aria went to say something when Jake came up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and said "Hey."
"Hi," Aria replied with.
Jake then asked "I was wondering if I could steal Aria my favourite folk song just came on?"
I replied with "Go for it," I was trying so hard not to look like a kicked puppy.
"Thanks," Jake said before dragging Aria way to the dance floor. Signing to myself I look over at Ezra and he has the same crushed face as I have, he gives me a smile but I shrugged my shoulders.
Walking over to the now vacant table my friends had all once been sitting at but were now dancing with their boyfriends, looking all happy and I felt really depressed. I don't know why I thought coming to this thing by myself would make me feel any different, I was the single one of the group and I couldn't act sad because then it'd bring everyone down.
"Ma'am would you like to dance?" I couldn't help but laugh at Ezra calling me ma'am, I also felt extremely old.
I asked back "What will everyone think? A teacher and a student dancing together." I wasn't really that worried but that's how rumours start and I didn't want Ezra to lose his job.
Ezra replied with "Emily, you are an openly gay person I think we are safe," he offered his hand and I couldn't help but take his hand. He led me to the middle of the dance floor and started to dance like he was hearing hip-hop song and not a country song.
Tipping my head back in laughter, I heard Ezra say "What worried you won't keep up?" Shaking my head at his challenge, I began following his lead in dancing hip-hop like to a country song. As I danced with Ezra I didn't even care if everyone had stopped their dancing to watch us because for the first time that night I was actually having fun. There was definitely no way I felt anything sexually for Ezra, he was like an older brother to me and that was all he would ever be. Laughing as Ezra attempted to do a back flip but failed miserably, I then showed him how it was done and complete my own back flip.
"Show off!" I heard Ezra yell at me over the music.
"Jelly!" I yell back as I do another back flip and landing perfectly. The music slowly winded down to the end of the song and looking around the room I saw everyone had stopped dancing, they were all now staring at Ezra and I. Stopping my eyes when I reached my friends they all wore the same shocked look, I wasn't sure if it was from me dong a back flip or if it was me openly dancing with Ezra and actually enjoying myself.
Ezra said "You win," he holds out his hand for me to shake and I shake his hand with my victory smile plastered on my face.
"No need to get all cocky about it," Ezra said while punching me lightly in the shoulder.
I whispered into his ear because the music hadn't started playing again "Can I come over to your place? After tonight and the whole Jake and Aria, I need a beer."
"Sure Emily," Ezra said patting my shoulder and then walking away. Running my fingers through my hair to make sure it wasn't out of place from me doing back flips.
"We need to talk," I heard three voice say and I knew them as Hanna, Spencer and Aria. Hanna then grabbed my free hand; she dragged me off the dancefloor and weaved through everyone. I was dragging into the female bathrooms and everyone who was in there was kicked out, then the door was locked shut; which left the four of us.
"What's going on?" I asked while turning to look at myself in the mirror.
Spencer asked "Why were you dancing with Mr Fitz?"
I replied with "He asked to dance with and I accepted because no else would've."
"But why did it look like you had done it before?" Hanna asked. Looking at Aria she looked perfect, pure beauty. God, I am so gay was my next thought after that and I couldn't help the laugh that slipped through my lips.
Hanna asked "What's so funny?"
"Nothing," I say to myself and I can hear Ezra laughing at me now.
"Seriously, what's so funny?" Spencer asked.
I replied with "It's nothing, honestly and you wouldn't understand."
"Understand what?" Aria asked speaking for the first time since being in here.
"I just thought of something and it's a running joke between Ezra and I, that's why you wouldn't understand," I said very carefully.
Hanna asked "Since when is he Ezra?"
I answered with "Since his been born, although he could've changed it but I don't know I'll ask him."
"Emily, stop being smart with us. Since when have you been calling Mr Fitz, Ezra?" Spencer asked.
"I don't know when I stopped calling him Mr Fitz but we have more than a teacher/student relationship, so it's weird calling him Mr Fitz."
"More than a teacher/student relationship, what does that mean?" Aria asked and anyone could hear the hurt tone in her voice.
A lightbulb goes off in my head and I responded with "Oh my god, you think I'm meaning a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship aren't yous?" I turned around to see the look in their eyes told me the truth.
Hanna asked "Well what other relationship could there be?"
I replied with "I don't know but he is like a brother to me than a teacher, I have never once thought of him as any other way. Oh and there also the whole fact of me being gay but you must've forgotten that part about me, I know I haven't dated for a while but is it that hard to forget?" I didn't mean to get angry at them but it was more at Aria because I was begin to think she didn't know anything about me.
Spencer replied with "We haven't forgotten you are gay Emily."
Hanna added "We just saw you two dancing like you were dating or something like that."
"Something like that, that's just great," I said while turning back to look at the mirror.
Aria then asked "What would you and Ezra even have in common?"
Looking at Aria through the mirror, I smile and replied with "A lot more than you would think."
"But what pacifically?" Aria asked fishing for more.
Turning around, I looked at Aria dead in the eye and said "I can't tell you."
"Why not?" Hanna asked but it didn't break my focus on Aria.
"Because if I tell you what my conversations with Ezra are really about then it'll change everything," I replied with.
Aria asked "Your conversation tonight wasn't about study session, was it?" Shaking my head, I was trying to work out what I was going to do. I was sick of hiding my feelings for Aria but if I tell them, I was risking losing them all.
Clearing my throat, I spoke "I thought love was only true in fairy tales," Aria looked at me confused before she gasped and her hands came up to her face.
"Meant for someone else but not for me," Aria said back.
Smiling at Aria, I continued saying the song "Love was out to get me, that's the way it seemed."
"Disappointment haunted all my dreams," I smiled when Aria raised her arm and tilled her head back. This song was Aria's and mine favourite, we used to watch the movie shrek together every weekend when we were little just for this song.
"And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer," I said feeling this seriousness wash over us.
"And not a trace of doubt in my mind," Aria read it to me like from a book of her heart.
Taking a deep breath as, I said "I'm in love, I'm a believer. I couldn't leave her if I tired," as Hanna and Spencer gasped I lowered my head to the floor.
I said while looking at my feet "I thought love was more or less a giving thing. The more I gave, the less I got, oh yeah. What's the use in trying? All you get is pain. When I wanted sunshine, I got rain. And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer. And not a trace of doubt in my mind. I'm in love, I'm a believer. I couldn't leave her if I tried."
"What's the use in trying? All you get is pain," I snapped my head up when Aria start to say the lyrics to the song.
Aria continued with "When I wanted sunshine, I got rain. And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer. And not a trace of doubt in my mind. I'm in love, I'm a believer. I couldn't leave her if I tried."
As Aria and I stared at each other, I mumbled out still in shock "Your, you're in love with me," I pointed at her and then back to me.
"Yeah," Aria replied simply with.
"What about Jake?" I asked confused as to what was happening.
"Jake and I are just friends, who else could I talk to about the feelings of more than friendship that I have for you?"
"Wait, did you and Ezra break up because of those feelings you had for me?"
"Kind of," Aria and when I gave her a look she added "Yes."
"Wait, what?" Both Hanna and Spencer asked at the same while I asked "Did you tell him that was the reason you broke up?"
Aria replied with "Yes, I told him. He wanted a reasoning and I just couldn't lie to him, he gave me those big puppy dog eyes."
"I'm going punch him so hard when I see him next. No wonder his been pressing me to tell you about my feelings because he already knew how you would responded, at least I think that's how you are responding."
"I'm in love and now I'm a believer," Aria spoke as she took a step forward to be standing right in front of.
"Disappointed haunted all my dreams," I said back not wanting to get my hopes up to much in case Aria wasn't telling me the truth.
"Meant for someone else but not for me," I could see the hurtful look in Aria's eyes that I wasn't believing her.
"I'm in love and now I'm a believer," I said before wrapping my arms around Aria's waist. As Aria looked up into my eyes, I slowly leant down and connected our lips together. I heard Aria breath in deeply as she responded to the kiss by kissing me back and wrapping her arms around my neck. As we were kissing I could feel Aria leaning her body into my mine as her fingers tangled into on my hair.
We then heard "Then I saw their face, ha ha. Now I'm a believer," pulling back from each other we turned to see Hanna was the one to start off.
Spencer then quickly said "Listen, not a trace of doubt in our mind."
Together they said "There in love. We are believers; they couldn't leave if they tried." We both knew they were changing the lyrics to the song and some of them weren't making that much sense but it was the underlining message behind the words. This was their way of telling us that they were happy for us to be together and they believed it was real.
Aria said through giggles "You two are kind of amazing," she stepped out from my arms to hug Spencer and Hanna.
Hanna asked "So are you two officially dating now?"
"I don't know," Aria replied with while turning to look at me questioningly.
Clearing my throat, I said "We can date on one condition?"
"What's the condition?" Aria asked scared.
Smiling, I replied with "I wanted to dance with you tonight, now before they turn the lights off or before you realise what's actually happening and change your mind," I held my hand out for her to take.
"You dork; I'm not going to change my mind Emily. I want to be with you, I want to be in a relationship with and I definitely want to dance with you tonight before they turn the lights off," Aria then took my hand in hers. Hand in hand together we left the bathroom with Spencer and Hanna trailing behind us, we walked out onto the dance floor and when we stopped I spun Aria back into me.
"Smooth Emily," Aria said through giggles as she turned away to press her back to my front. Not getting what she was doing Aria grabbed my arms and wrapped them around her body, I lowered my head to have my chin rest on top of her shoulder and then we began to dance.
"Why didn't you tell me about your feelings?" Aria asked.
"I could ask you the same thing but I thought it would be selfish of me to tell you how I felt and if didn't feel the same way, it would ruin our friendship and our friendship with Hanna and Spencer."
"Only you Emily, only you," Aria said with disbelief in her voice.
I asked "Why didn't you tell me about your feelings?"
"I was scared and I wasn't sure if you would want to be with me, I don't think I could've handle that and it was safer to stay quiet."
"Understandable but after Maya left I didn't really want to be with anyone else, I didn't think I wanted to be with anyone. But then you refused to let me deal with the break-up by myself alone and I had no power to stop you. I just fell in love with you sometime around then."
"Emily, will you be my girlfriend?" Aria asked still worried.
"I'd love to Aria," I said with the biggest smile on my face and I peck her neck. As we continued to dance along with the music I couldn't help but notice everyone in the room was watching us and who wouldn't, we were officially Rosewood High's cutest couple. My eyes spotted Hanna standing in front of Travis; he had his arms wrapped around her as they watched us dance with smiles on both of their face. Standing next to them was Toby and Spencer wrapped up each other's arms as per normal but they were smiling at Aria and I having a moment.
Scanning the room even more I found Jake standing at the table we had all been using that night, he had a cup of drink in his hands and was watching us dance. When he noticed I was looking her tipped his cowboy hat to me and pulling a hand from Aria's I tipped my hat back to him, Aria then stole my hand back. Smiling as Aria I danced together in each other my eyes eventually found Ezra standing behind the bar, he had the biggest smile on his face that I have ever seen and he was looking right at us. I saw Ezra mouth 'told you so,' and in return I was my very mature self and poked my tongue out at him. The music came to an end and Aria turned herself around in my eyes and we stared into each other's. Aria leant up and I leant down and our lips joined in the middle, I would never get tired of kissing Aria not ever.
The End.