Owari no Seraph / Seraph of the End

The Taming of the Human, Chapter 4: Longings Not Expressed

….

Don't own, etc. Now let's get on with things.

Another look at how things might have been.

…

Chapter 4: Longings Not Expressed

The next morning: Maru seemed to have even less appetite than usual. He took spells of shoveling down his banana slices, but would occasionally stop, as though thinking about something. Yu had never seen him act this way before. "Maru, something's wrong. Won't you tell me what?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

"You're not sick or something, are you? I mean, if you are, if you don't feel well, I'll get you into the infirmary, somehow." The infirmary, there at the base, didn't treat people without picture ID's, and, of course, being a demon accidentally brought over from the astral plane, Maru had no such item. "I'll bullshit you in somehow." He dabbed at his chin with his napkin. "Worse comes to worst, I guess I could always tell 'em we're married! Ha!"

Maru's reaction was startling: he sat back in his chair, his spoon clattering to the floor, and stared at Yu with a wide-eyed, shocked expression on his face. He looked exactly as if he'd been struck by lightning. He stared at Yu for a moment, then sprang up and zoomed off to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Yu was finishing up with his breakfast, wondering if he should place Maru's banana-plus-a-little-cereal bowl in the fridge, when the Black Demon came out and sat back down at the breakfast table. "I'm sorry, Maru. I didn't realize that would offend you that much. I won't do it again."

"You...you didn't offend me," said Maru, almost too low to be heard. "It...I…" He looked up at Yu with an expression Yu had never seen on his face: a kind of longing. He picked up his cereal bowl and reached it over the table to Yu. "Would...would you...would you like...some of my bananas, Yu?" Again with his face averted, as though trying not to see something horrible.

Yu took a long, long look at his guest. "Okay, Maru." He took the cereal bowl and put it in the fridge. "Come on over here." And he took him by the hand and led him over to the couch in the living room. Sat down beside him, turned towards him, with one leg folded up underneath him, his arm on the back rest. "Now. Talk to me. Something's wrong-don't try to tell me differently-and I want to know what it is. 'Cause whatever it is, it's eating you alive, and I won't have that. It's hurting you. I won't have that, either. So talk to me. What's wrong? And don't say 'nothing'." Just as the demon's mouth had opened to say that very word.

Asuramaru sat on the couch, hands in his lap. He wouldn't meet Yu's gaze. "I...I had a dream the other night. The, the night when I was, was 'cold.'"

"Was it a nightmare? Did you have a bad dream?"

"No. No, it wasn't a bad dream." He suddenly turned to Yu, with an almost frightened look on his face. "It was a good dream! It was the best dream I've ever had! Or even imagined anyone could ever have! And I know my dreams, Yu."

"A good dream? Maru, you're suffering. You're unhappy. How could a good dream do this to you?"

The demon was silent for such a long time, Yu was beginning to wonder if he was going to answer at all. Finally, he said, still not looking up, "It...It was about me. And you."

"Me and you? What about me and you?"

Another long silence. Then, "Yu, I...I don't know if I can or should say the rest." He put his hands over his face.

"Er...was it a sexual dream, Maru?"

"Not…" swallow, "totally. In it, we-I can't believe I'm saying this-we were...married." The last word was whispered so low, Yu almost didn't hear it.

"Married?"

Now Maru looked up at him. He smiled a kind of weak smile, and it looked to Yu as though his eyes were watering, slightly. "Yeah, I know. What a joke, huh? You and me? A human and a demon? I mean, c'mon!"

Yu looked stunned. He hadn't expected anything like this. "But...I mean, okay, it, it was a good, no, a great dream. But only a dream. Why would it make you this unhappy?"

"Because I wanted it!" shouted Maru suddenly, looking up to the ceiling. "I wanted that dream! We-you and I-we were so happy! And I wanted that, that happiness! I've...I've never really known what it was like to be happy! Ever! And, and there you and I were, so happy! And I wanted to, to live in that dream! I wanted it to be my real reality, not, not this!" And he looked down at his hands, now outstretched over his lap. He spread his hands, right to left, indicating everything. He squeezed his eyes shut, putting the heel of his hand to his forehead. "I...I tried so hard...so hard to keep my eyes closed, to not wake up. But...I, I couldn't." He sniffled, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. Yu started to get up to get some tissues, but something told him this was not a good time to get up off the couch. His guest-his friend-his-? was hurting, and it would not be good to leave him.

Maru was openly crying now, tears running down his face. "I, I tried. I tried to be, to be the, the...partner, the companion, whatever you want to call it, that I should be, that I would be, if that dream were real." And Yu remembered how the demon had taken up cleaning, and even going so far as to attempt cooking. He'd offered Yu what was, to him, the best of what he had to offer. He'd made banana pudding, he offered Yu his bananas from his very own cereal bowl. "I...I didn't know what else to do. I tried so hard to make it...to make it...happen…to make it be real..." He put both hands to his face, sniffling mightily. "I...I don't know any, anything else to do." Sniff!"

Yu sat, thoughtfully. Well. This was certainly unexpected. Then, "Maru...all that would only make sense if you were...were in love with me. For real.

"Are you?"

Asuramaru didn't answer, but just kept trying to control himself. He sniffled and sniffled.

Suddenly, he shot to his feet, eyes wild. He turned in the direction of the half-bath, his cubby hole.

But Yu was on his feet. "No, Maru, wait! We can't just leave this! We have to talk this out-*" He had his hand on Maru's arm.

"Get your hands off me, human!" shouted Asuramaru, yanking his arm away.

But he'd forgotten his vampire strength, and both had underestimated just how firm a grip Yu had on Maru's arm. Yu was thrown across the room, his head hitting the wall with a sickening crack! He slid down the wall, to lie in a heap on the floor, blood pooling beneath his head.

Maru looked on in horror, both hands over his mouth.

…...

A formless, colorless nothingness. A shadow in green...a woman's voice. "It's not your time yet, Yuichiro Hyakuya. Return to life, to the worlds of the living. Find him. Find him. Bring him home. Love him. Love him always, Yuichiro Hyakuya. Yuichiro. Yu..."

…

"Yu? Yu?" Yu gradually came to consciousness. Mika was kneeling in front of him. "Yu, can you hear me?" He snapped his fingers in Yu's face. "C'mon, brother-mine, come back to me."

"M-Mika? What...what happened? Why are you here?"

"We got a distress call on your phone." Yu noticed, through the pain in his head, the base's security personnel going in and out of each room. "No voice, just the emergency button pushed. When we got here, we found you, like this." Yu looked around, painfully. He was still in his bedroom. His neck hurt to turn it, but…

"Who attacked you, Yu?"

"Huh? What?"

"Somebody threw you into the wall, Yu. Pretty damn hard, too; they almost put you through the wall. The medics are at a loss as to how you survived. So who was it? Who did this to you, Yu? Was it a break-in?"

Now his memory was coming back. Maru, his dream, Yu telling him they had to talk it out...Maru accidentally flinging him away. "Uhm, I'm, I'm not sure, Mika. I don't think I got a good look at 'em. The only one I saw was wearing a mask."

"You don't lie worth a damn, Yuichiro Hyakuya."

He got up, with Mika's help. "Yeah, I know. I guess I need the practice."

"Practice on somebody else. You oughtta know you can't lie to me. Look." He guided a shaky Yu over into a corner. Yu noticed base security personnel combing through each room. His concern grew; where was Maru? He didn't see him anywhere.

"Why did you ask? Did you...did you find somebody else here?"

Mika hushed his voice, glancing over his shoulder. "No, and that worries me, Yu. It's clear two people have been living here...but you're the only one present. Where's whoever was living here with you?" He paused, waiting for an answer. "Was it that young woman you've been seen with, that you've been dating?"

Yu opened his mouth to say he's not a woman and we haven't been dating when he realized something more important. Maru wasn't here. That meant…

Find him. Find him.

He launched himself away from the nook Mika had led him to. "Mika, I, I gotta go! I gotta go...find someone! Right now!"

But Mika just put a restraining hand on Yu's shoulder. "Yu. No. You're not going anywhere. You just took a blow to the head that should have killed you, and nobody seems to know why it didn't. It's the worst snow of the year, and you are not going out there! Who would you be looking for, anyway?" Another microsecond pause. "Did...is the person you're looking for, the same one that did this?"

"Mika, I can't stop to explain. I'll have to tell you all about it later. You'll have to fight me to keep me here. I can't tell you about it, but...

"I just know that if I don't go find him, he'll die."

….

Asuramaru was busy redefining the word "miserable."

Well, that was that. Now he'd never know that wonderful life he'd glimpsed, any version of it. Neither of them would. He'd killed Yuichiro Hyakuya.

The human he'd somehow come to love.

He was a demon, attuned to magic and the life forces of all things. He could see the life leaving Yu, virtually see his soul departing for unknown lands. And it was all his fault.

If only he'd told Yu earlier, or in some other way. But when Yu had asked him, point-blank, do you love me, Maru?-it had just been too much to bear. Demons are supposed to be sickened by positive emotions, made weaker by them, but that wasn't happening here. Maybe it was part of the spell that had brought him here?

He didn't know how to react, how to answer that. Nothing in his experience had prepared him for a question like that.

He trudged onward through the snow, through the storm, far from the base. He had no destination in mind-oh, wait, yes he did: the coldest place he could find. He was already shivering, hugging himself reflexively; he thought he could feel icicles forming on his elbows.

He'd find that coldest spot (or one that would do), and then he'd just...lie down. Lie down, wrap himself around himself, and remember.

He remembered teasing Yu in the bath...except a lot of it wasn't just an act, was it? He remembered that kiss, there in the cafeteria that day. That hadn't really been an act, either, he realized now.

When he closed his eyes, he could see, like shadows on a wall, images of that incredible perfect life he could have had with Yu. Oh, there was danger, of course, and life was not all sweetness and light.

But he and Yu were together. And whatever happened, whether cooking dinner or fighting monsters, they had each other. They remained together.

Just like my Yu and I can never be now.

Here; here was a nice spot, right up against a rock. He curled himself into a fetal ball, shivering violently. And waited. As cold as it was, it shouldn't be long now.

If only.

If only he'd approached the matter differently. If only he'd told Yu how he was coming to feel. The crazy human would've just laughed at him, of course, but…

Or would he?

But whatever the case, just right then, he'd have given his heart and soul, just to hear the sound of Yu's laughter, one more time.

Just...one more time.

"Maru!" Okay, thought Asuramaru, through the dimming haze his vision had become. I guess this is it. I'm hearing his voice. He's calling me to come with him, to the lands of the dead.

Oh, how I hope he doesn't hate me.

"Maru!" This shout was louder. Maru didn't know whether to try to respond or not. That is, if he could; he'd already lost feeling in his feet.

"Maru!" Yu came up and dropped down by the Black Demon, reaching out to touch him. "Maru, what are you doing out here? C'mon, we've got to get back to the base!"

"Yu? B-but...you're d-d-dead! I s-saw you d-die!"

But Yu shook his head, and Maru noticed the huge bandage on it, right where he'd hit it. Images of a woman in green slipped past his mind. Not your time, Ashura Tepes. Had he dreamed about her? Who was she? "No, Maru, I don't know how, but I'm not dead. And, more importantly, neither are you. Now come on. We've got to get back to the base."

"C-can't. F-feet...y-you sh-should l-leave me..."

"Oh, now you already know how that's gonna go down." He took off his jacket, and wrapped it around Maru as best he could, despite the demon's protests. Picked him up in a fireman's carry, Maru's legs and arms wrapped around him from behind. "Come on, just hold onto me. Just hold on, a little longer. I'll get you back home."

"Yu, don't! Y-you can't c-carry us b-both! You, you'll freeze, out here, yourself!"

"Forget it, Maru. I don't care about that. I just know I've gotta get you back home. No matter what.

"And," he said, stumbling through the snow, the cold beginning to freeze his feet, even through his heavy bundling, "If you go into Forever, I'm going with you."

"Don't…" said Asuramaru weakly. "You…"

"You may as well not say it, Maru. I'm going home with you-one way or another."

Onward through the ever-worsening snowstorm he trudged. Trudged, and trudged, and trudged. Until finally, he succumbed to the cold, and fell in a snowdrift. Then, barely conscious, he gathered the little demon close to him, trying to warm him with his body heat as best he could, Maru's face resting up against his own, his arms around Yu's neck, each of them trying desperately to give what little body heat they had left to the other.

A shadow fell over them.

Find him, Ashura Tepes. Find him. Love him. Love him always.

…..

Asuramaru's consciousness slowly, hesitantly, swam back into his head. Nobody could blame it; it had had some rough times in there, lately. He groggily opened his eyes to see two forms standing over him: one was Mika's, his face stern and noticeably angry, and the other…"Gekkoin? What are you doing here?"

Yoichi Saotome's Black Demon grunted. "Saving your butt. Make that butts, plural." And he gestured to the other side of the bed Asuramaru was lying on. Asuramaru turned his head, to see Yu lying in bed beside him, the electric blanket tucked over both of them, the indicator turned up. It just then dawned on him where they were.

"Yu!" He tried to turn over, but was still too weak to do so. "He-he's alright, isn't he?"

"He's fine. He's just taking longer to come around. You're a vampire; you heal faster, that's all."

Asuramaru managed to turn partially over, enough so he could brush his fingers against Yu's face. "You c-come on back to me, Yu."

Gekkoin looked across the bed at Mika, his face a mask of distaste. "Disgusting, isn't it?"

"No," replied Yuichiro's best friend. "Surprising, but not disgusting. But then, I guess I have a different perspective on things than you do. How did you get to be here, in the physical world, Asuramaru? For that matter," he turned addressing the giant form of Yoichi's demon, "How did you get to be here, physically, as well?"

"I have no idea how loverboy here," Gekkoin said, nodding at Asuramaru, "got here. My situation is...a little different. It's what you humans call a 'long story.'" Another nod at Asuramaru, who was still trying to turn over towards Yu. "I suspect his is, too."

"But...but, Gekkoin," said Asuramaru, his arm around Yu, "Why did you come save us?"

"Your human's little friend gave me no peace whatsoever until I went and found the both of you. Brought you back to your living arrangements here." He gestured overhead.

"Speaking of," said Mika, "I think there'll be some questions, when the both of you recover enough." He looked sternly at the form of his sleeping friend. "Yes, and I've got a few words to share with him, personally."

"Don't...don't blame him," pleaded Asuramaru. "It was all my fault."

"No, it wasn't," said weak voice. Yuichiro was just then coming to consciousness. "D-don't listen to him about that."

"Yu!" Maru pulled him closer, even as Yu reached towards him, as well. "You, you had me so worried! B-but are you alright?"

"Getting there. Glad...to see you, Maru." He looked up at the demon's tear-stained face. "M-makes coming back worth it." He paused, gathering his strength. The other two, even Gekkoin, remained silent, sensing this was something that didn't need to be interrupted. "Just...just don't ever do me that way again, 'kay?"

"Yu...you can't be feeling what I'm sensing from you. Not only am I a demon, we're the same sex!"

He pulled him to him weakly. "Demon, Shmemon. Maru, it's you I love, not your genitalia.

"I'll never leave you, Maru. Don't you ever leave me."

Gekkoin's face was scrunching up again. "Gods. If I stay here much longer, I'll hurl chunks. I'm leaving it in your hands, Hyakuya," he said, indicating Mika. "You take it from here." And with that, he disappeared in a flare of light.

Mika turned his gaze on the couple in bed. A stern gaze. "Yes, Yu. We...need to have a talk, I think, about the importance of trusting each other, don't you think? You didn't have to go this all alone, all this time."

"I know, Mika, and I'm sorry. It's just...it's not something that comes up in casual dinner conversation, you know? 'Hey, Mika, guess what? I just brought a Black Demon over into the physical realm! Say, you gonna eat that?'"

Mika actually laughed. "Okay, I guess I can see how that could be kinda awkward. But, Yu…" He looked at the couple in bed, Asuramaru holding Yu protectively, with Yu's arm around him, just as protectively. Each of them prepared to take the entire consequences of whatever offenses had been given, to shield the other completely. A demon and a human...in love. Nobody would have ever expected or believed it, but he couldn't deny the clear evidence of his senses. He sighed. "Well, perhaps all that can wait. And if you're worried about the legal part...turns out, you were never officially discharged from being bonded with the sword of Asuramaru, so technically, you didn't actually steal anything. You just…" he waved a hand. "Reclaimed some lost property." He looked at them again. "But I think you two have some more important things to talk about, don't you? Just take your time recuperating,'kay?" He moved towards the door. "I'll be back in a bit. You two rest. And I do mean rest. No hanky-panky. You're not up to it, yet."

"Yes, mom," said Yu, a slight smile on his face.

"I'll 'yes, mom' you, if you don't behave, Yuichiro Hyakuya. Besides, there's something I need to talk to you both about. Something very serious. Got a call from our old pal Guren Ichinose.

"We may be moving out, soon. There's something going on up north. Something big." And with that, he left, leaving two very puzzled beings in his wake.

Finally, Yu looked back over at Maru, who still had a protective arm around him. "Wonder what that was all about?"

"Oh, who cares? Yu, why'd you come after me, anyway? You could'a died! I've been nothing but a problem to you-*" But Yu put up a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"Don't even start with that. You oughtta know the answer to that, by now. I love you, Maru, and always will. As long as I have you for my Demon, I'll always be your Knight. I don't care if you don't or can't love me in return, I'll still love y-*" But Maru put his lips to Yu's, silencing him.

It was a rather clumsy kiss, not like the one they'd shared in the cafeteria, but it made Yu's heart soar. When they finally broke apart, Asuramaru looked Yu in the eyes, his eyes shining. "I'm finding out this 'love' thing has a lot going for it."

"It sure does." Maru's kiss had been better than any defibrillator, and far less painful. Then his face changed. "Hey!" He looked down, underneath the covers. "What the hell happened to our clothes?!"

…

He's my very own big, dumb klutz of a human, and I never know what catastrophe he'll start next. I just know that, somehow, somewhere along the way, he's become very precious to me.

...

The End. For now.