The Lower Elements, Haven City, Police Plaza, Detention Cell 4
While Alex didn't fall back asleep he did manage a light doze which wore off in the Haven shuttleport. However, Alex was a Fowl and opted to continue feigning unconsciousness until the opportune moment.
That moment presented itself when Artemis's interrogation, of course, yielded nothing—same with his Retimager results.
"Another negative. Sorry, Captain, but Master Fowl here is innocent. He's never even seen a goblin, much less traded with the B'wa Kell."
"You're surprised?" Alex chirped from his seat, rubbing some lingering sleep out of his eyes with his newly freed hand.
In an instant all three fairies eyes were on him.
"Ever since the incident last year, Arty's been at boarding school with me in Wicklow. It's a bit difficult to get away with…anything really there. Our mum made sure of that. Besides, even I know that smugglings are get-rich-slow schemes. And at the moment our family doesn't have the means, much less the time, to pull one off."
Root decided that the possibility of a human left awake on the way underground was a fair trade for a witness willing to talk.
"And what about the big one? Could he have been a go between?"
"Butler? No, he hardly ever gets into trouble without Arty around. At least as far as I know. Besides, if they were running sort of operation behind my back, Arty would need to scare away a new school psychologist every week to keep himself entertained."
Foaly clopped over to the boy's other side. "You wouldn't mind if I check?"
Alex shook his head. The suction cups latched onto the younger boy's eyes and he fell limp.
"Well?" Root asked as Foaly ran the search.
"We had better luck on the older one," the centaur replied. "And in any case his story checks out. I already did the Mud Man with the Retimager. Nothing."
"They could've mind-wiped them."
Foaly removed the seals from Alex's eyes. "That's the beauty of this baby. Mind-wipes don't work. The Retimager operates on actual physical evidence. You'd have to scrub the retinas."
"Anything on the human's computer?"
"Plenty," replied Foaly. "But nothing incriminating. Not a single mention of goblins or batteries. Face it, the LEP have pulled in the wrong Mud Men. Wipe 'em and send 'em home."
Holly nodded. The commander didn't.
"Wait a minute. I'm thinking."
Artemis messaged the puffy skin beneath his eyes while Alex scratched his own set with the collar of his shirt.
"Sedative in the seals?" The older boy said, glancing at Foaly. "Micro needles?"
The centaur was impressed. "You're pretty sharp for a Mud Boy."
Alex appeared to be irritated by the cresant-shaped nodule fixed above his ear.
"What is this?"
"Translator. Speaking in tongues gives some people a headache." Foaly answered nodding at the commander.
The younger boy fingered the device, as it meaning to remove it, but Artemis caught his hand.
"I see. Now, how can I be of service?"
"What makes you think we need help from you, human?" growled Root around the butt of his cigar.
Artemis smirked while Alex looked miffled at being cut from the mission before it even began.
"I have a feeling, Commander, that if you did not need something from me, my brother and I would be regaining consciousness in our own beds, with absolutely no memory of our encounter."
Foaly hid his grin behind a hairy hand.
"You're lucky you're not waking up in a cell," said Holly.
"Still bitter, Captain Short? Can't we wipe the slate clean?"
Holly's glare—and the soft slap of Alex's face palm—was all the answer he needed.
Artemis sighed. "Very well. I shall guess. There are humans trading with the Lower Elements. And you need Butler to track these merchants down. Close enough?"
The fairies were silent for a moment as Alex raised a thick eyebrow at them. Hearing it from the older boy suddenly brought the reality home to them.
"Close enough," admitted Root. "Okay, Foaly, bring the Mud Boys up to speed."
The consultant loaded a file from the LEP central server. A series of Network News clips flashed up on the plasma screen. The reporter was a middle-aged elf with a forelock the size of a tidal wave.
"Downtown Haven," crooned the reporter. "Another contraband seizure by the LEP. Hollywood laser disks with an estimated street value of five hundred ounces of gold. The B'wa Kell goblin triad is suspected."
"Is that bad?" Alex asked.
"It gets worse," Root said grimly.
The reporter appeared again. This time flames billowed from the windows of a warehouse behind him. His forelock looked a bit crispy.
"Tonight the B'wa Kell have staked their claim to the East Bank by torching a warehouse used by Koboi Laboratories. Apparently the pixie with the golden touch refused to pay their protection fee."
The flames were replaced by another news byte, this time featuring an angry mob.
"Controversy today outside Police Plaza as the public protests the LEP's failure to deal with the goblin problem. Many ancient houses have been put out of business by the B'wa Kell's racketeering. Most heavily targeted have been Koboi Laboratories, who have suffered six counts of sabotage in the past month alone."
Foaly froze the image. The public did not look happy.
"Got it, bad." Alex breathed.
"The thing you two have to understand is that goblins are dumb. I'm not insulting them, it's scientifically proven. Brains no bigger than rats."
Artemis nodded. "So who's organizing them?"
Root ground out his cigar. "We don't know. But it's getting worse. The B'wa Kell have graduated from petty crime to an all-out war on the police. Last night we intercepted a delivery of batteries from the surface. These batteries are being used to power outlawed softnose laser weapons."
"And Captain Short thought that I might be the Mud Man on the other end of the deal."
"Can you blame me?" muttered Holly.
Alex didn't seem to hear the comment. "Well these are batteries, how do you know they're not just snatching them from chain shops?"
Foaly chuckled. "I don't think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B'wa Kell generals—and this is their top fairy—was caught trying to pass off a forged credit card, because he signed his own name. No, whoever is behind this would need a human contact to make sure the deals weren't fouled up."
"So you want us to find out who that contact is," Alex said.
"And more importantly, how much he knows." Artemis finished.
As he spoke, Artemis's mind was racing. He could work this entire situation to his advantage. The People's powers would be valuable aces to hold in a negotiation with mobsters. The seeds of a plan began to sprout in his brain. All he had to do was find a way to keep Alex a safe distance away.
Root nodded reluctantly. "That's it. I can't risk putting LEPrecon agents aboveground. Who knows what technology the goblins have traded? I could be walking my agents into a trp. As humans, you three could blend in."
"No offense," Alex said. "But I don't think Butler fits the definition of "blend in" very well."
"At least he doesn't have four legs and a tail." observed Foaly.
"Fair point." Alex conceded.
"There is no doubt that if any man alive can track down you rogue trader, it's Butler." Artemis said. "But…"
Here we go, thought Holly. Artemis Fowl does nothing for nothing.
"But?" prompted Root.
"But if you want my help, I will require something in return."
"What exactly?" said Root warily.
"We need to get to Russia," Alex interjected. "The Arctic Circle. We need help with a rescue mission."
Root frowned as Artemis put a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "Northern Russia is not good for us. We can't shield there because of the radiation."
"Those are the conditions," said Artemis. "The man I intend to rescue is mine and Alex's father. For all I know, it's already too late. So I really don't have time to negotiate."
Artemis sounded sincere. And Alex looked anxious to the point of panic. Even Holly found it hard to be skeptical for a moment. But you never knew with Artemis Fowl, this could all be part of yet another scheme. Root made an executive decision.
"Deal," he said, holding out his hand.
They shook. Fairy and human. A historic moment.
"Good," said Root. "Now, Foaly, wake the big one and give that goblin shuttle a quick systems check."
"What about me?" asked Holly. "Back to stakeout duty?"
If Root had not been a commander, he probably would have cackled. "Oh no, Captain. You're the best shuttle pilot we have. You're going to Paris."