Chapter 19: Of love and war

Author's Note!

So sorry! I was deciding whether it was Gail or Gale. But couldn't remember. So I went with a guess that wasn't so lucky... So! Sorry :) I'll change it from now on! I know this is not much of a chapter, but I'm running dry of ideas and very soon I'll only be posting once a week as school Is about to begin.

"She just loves you so much." I cooed into Christian's ear as I wrapped my arms around him from behind.

He sat in the lounger chair in our room with his face forward. He was rather bitter. "I think she loves you more, actually."

"Don't be silly." I told him and leaned in to caress his cheek with my lips. It was so much like Christian to doubt the love of those around him, especially his own mother.

"Ana, I know what you're doing." My arms went rigid around his cold shoulder.

Of course, he was referring to my earlier exhibition of my entire body to his security details. His mother and Gale had been there, but Christian liked to focus on the minor details rather than the bigger picture.

I understood why he was so furious. It did occur to me how translucent his shirt was when I put it on, but I had underestimated it entirely. In the room's bright lights, I was practically naked for the world to see. I had only seen how exposed I was when I returned to the room to change. It was so bad that I had no courage to return down to Christian and his mother.

Much later, after I had dropped Kate a text of reassurance, replied Ethan's text and left Jose a voicemail, Christian had emerged to confront me.

"First the drunk scene and then this. I've told you many times before, Ana. I hate it when you get drunk."

Unexpectedly, my inner goddess took over my body and she used the same words he once did. "I wasn't thinking."

"You. Weren't. Thinking." He repeated, emphasizing. "I can see how frustrating that is, but I've still got a twitching palm."

"Stow it!" I whispered urgently, I was still rather sore from his sexual assault earlier this day.

"I was thinking about it," he started and then shook his head. "But you flaunted what's mine in front of my staff."

"It's not my fault that I can't pull off your shirt the same amazing way you do." I teased and I stroked the hard pads of his chest.

"Quite the contrary." He was sour. "Judging from Taylor and Sawyer's disappearances, you pulled it off just fine."

"But I like wearing your shirts..." I whined, brushing my head against the side of his cheek. There was an advantage to all his talking during sex. "It makes me feel like I belong to you."

"Ana," His voice was trained and this time it was more than just anger he was keeping in check. "I know what you're doing."

"They weren't there half the time!" I squeaked in defense, understanding that Mr Christian Grey hated to share the naked sight of his girl.

Christian grey eye lolled to the side to study me. "Because they know if I catch them in the same room as you dressed that... Indecently..."

"You'd fire them." I finished for him.

He chortled as if I had underestimated him. "No, I'd rip their eyeballs out and eat it for lunch."

"That's..." I imagined Christian getting his hands around poor Sawyer and digging his... "Harsh."

"You're not starting to have feelings for Sawyer... Are you?" Christian faced me and glared.

"He's got a little..." I licked my lips. "Something, something."

Taking me by surprise, he grabbed at me and pulled me over his shoulder. I landed right into his lap with a playful squeal as I thrashed like a child. His strong and firm arms held me in place to prevent me from falling to the floor. "Something something?" He clarified.

"He's got nothing on you, Mr Grey."

"Ana, there's benefits to having slept through the entire day."

"What might that be?" I fluttered my eyelashes in mock innocence.

"We've got the entire night to... Fool around." Just the way he said it stirred up my inner emotions and I thought I was going to orgasm right there and then.

There was an awful buzzing sound as my phone vibrated against the wooden table. I leaped off my man's lap and grabbed it just in time as Christian caught me and took me back into his embrace.

"Steele!" I said into the receiver as Christian nuzzled his nose against my jaw.

"STEELE." The most wrangled and furious voice I have ever heard returned. I gasped.

"Ana?" Christian grew alarmed.

"ANASTASIA STEELE. WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?!" I flinched and removed myself from Christian, striding over to the bed to face my father.

"I'm sorry," Christian's eyes searched me harder. "Ray." I said loud enough for his benefit and he calmed just slightly.

"An apology will do you no good. I want you to stay away from that monster of a man." Ray was dead serious, his tone official and decided. Monster of a man?! "Kate filled me in."

Kate. Kate. Kate. I could feel my insides boiling, threatening to overspill and turn into a violent volcano for Kate's sake. "Ray, I'm dealing with it." That had been the exact same thing I had said to Grace.

"Ana, you may be a grown woman, but you're still my baby girl." I could tell that Ray was trying to protect me, but he did not know Christian like I did and further more, was not facing the brunt of all his apologies.

"Ray, I can't just call it quits. I love him. I love him, dad." Christian rose to his feet and came to sit on the bed by me, he strained closer to listen. But I shook my head at him as Ray begun on a spree of obscene name calling.

A little too late for the sex talks, Ray gave a disapproving tut. "Ana, you can't just forgive a man who cheated on you."

"I know that, but it's not like I have a choice." I was exasperated. Did nobody realize that if I were not to forgive Christian, I would have to let go of him? It would mean that we would no longer be lovers, just people who once had a thing.

"Darling, sometimes it's best if you move on."

"Move on?!" I almost yelled. "Ray, Christian's the one I love, I've never felt this strongly about anyone." The moment the words were out of my mouth, I flushed a bright red as Christian's face glowed with pride and thrill. He put an arm around my waist and drew me into him, kissing me on my neck.

I stifled a moan but Ray picked up on it. "He's there, isn't he?" I did not want to reply him as Christian began nibbling. "Ana, you can't live with him. I want you to move out right now or your mother and I will personally remove you."

"You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can." Was his firm reply and then the line cut off.

Christian took a break from igniting my body. "What was that all about?"

"Ray." I shot him a twisted smile. "Isn't exactly thrilled we're back together." I saw the shock on his face. "When we see Kate, don't stop me from mangling her."

Understanding crossed him as he heard her name. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "It's alright, I was planning on telling them anyway."

"What?"

"Your parents. It's not exactly something you can or want to hide when you intend to marry their daughter."

My breath hitched and I choked on saliva, sputtering and trying to breathe. Christian came to my aid and hit me on my back repeatedly trying to open my tubes. "What's wrong, Ana?"

I coughed a bit more and then wiped the tears away from my face. "Did you just say marry?" My voice was shaky.

"I had asked you to marry me before, haven't I?" He raised an eyebrow, incredulous. "I wasn't kidding, Ana."

My thoughts ran to a furious Ray and a crazy Kate, not to mention my own mother who would have her own opinions to enforce upon me. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

He looked crushed. "You don't want to marry me?"

I could barely remember my defense. "You recently well... Did that," I gestured to the air in embarrassment. "It's not like I can just let it slide."

"I don't want it to slide, Ana. It's a mistake I made that I will and am paying for."

"It might have been your guilt talking." I suggested, trying to bail him out.

A flash of anger crossed his beautiful grey eyes and I knew it was not the case. Christian had made the proposal consciously and definitely not out of any guilt. "You're the only one I can picture having a future with. I can't leave without you."

Now, he was furious. "That doesn't sound like an idea you could come up with. Who's is it?"

Oh hell. Once again, Kate was landing me in hot soup. Hot soup that was being served onto Christian's dinner table. "Who's is it?!" He snapped, impatient.

"Kate."

"She's adding oil to the flames. It's hard enough for me to try and get you to trust me again when she's off spouting all this bullshit in your ears."

"You're not the only one." I mumbled quietly, it had slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"What?" Christian turned his inquisitive gaze upon me, urging me to go on. "What is it, Ana?"

"You know this. She told Grace about our situation."

"I thought the press was going to be a problem." He cussed under his breath. "I have an inkling as to why she's doing this."

"Why?" I piped up.

"She's trying to ruin my chances with you. Permanently." His arms turned rigid around me, stiffening as he considered it. "She's paving the way for Ethan."

That was absurd. "Let's not talk about Ethan."

"I'll talk about Ethan when I want to." He stepped towards me and grumbled.

"We're just friends." I reassured him.

"He's clearly told Kate something, Ana. They're both up to something."

"Either way, I love you." As if I was proving something, I pressed my palm gently against his soft chest and stroked him. "Isn't that enough?"

"I'm starting to think its not enough. That your love for me will fall short when it comes to my infidelity." He wrapped my palm in his hand and brought it to his nose, breathing in the scent. "One day Kate's words will prove true and you'll be ripped from me. I don't want you to leave me, Ana."

Christian was broken. The anger stripped away, leaving only the empty shell of a man he now was. His infidelity had somehow hit him just as hard as it had hit me, except I was able to push it out of sight and out of mind whereas he was constantly reminded and haunted by it. He was faced with my impending fleeing, he knew I could call it quits any time. This was his worst retribution yet.

I made sure to hold his eyes and reach his soul with my next words. "I won't listen to her, Christian."

He scoffed. "Kate's… Kate."

I knew exactly what he was saying. I caressed his stubby chin with my fingers, "Just don't ever let me forget that you love me."

A secret smile played across his face. "What is it, Grey?" I poked him in the ribs and glowered at him.

"I won't ever let you forget it because I picked up something for you today, Ana." And he was suddenly exuberating confidence; he laced his fingers with mine and gave me a sneaky wink. "I'll have to show you."

Christian led me down the steps. Taylor and Sawyer were having a heated discussion by the kitchen top, laughing at something Gail had said as well. Upon our touch down, Taylor straightened up and cleared his throat. Sawyer was slightly slower, but when he turned to see what had silenced his other companions, he flushed and took a subconscious step away from us.

"Sawyer." I greeted him with a smile, trying my best to indicate to him that there was to be no awkward feelings between the both of us. My indecency had been my problem, it should have nothing to do with him at all.

"Ms Steele." He returned, but dared not look me in the eye.

His grip around my hand tightened and Christian nudged me towards his room. "Just get back to work, Sawyer." He said sourly and I smacked him on his butt.

"Don't be so rude." I had intended it to be much softer than it actually had been.

Sawyer was awkward and he cast his eyes upon the floor, sweeping it clean with his eyes. Taylor pursed his lips and flickered his uneasy glance to Gail, who just shrugged and smiled right back at him. "Yes, Mr Grey." Sawyer replied obediently.

Ignoring me, Christian gave him a stern nod and practically hauled me into his bedroom. "Bye Sawyer!" I called back, "Have a great night." Christian slammed the door behind us and turned to glare at me, questioning my sanity.

"What?"

"Something something." He repeated with a frown, then dropped my hand and walked away from me.

"Oh come on, Christian." Had he been so easily shaken? I was usually that friendly with Sawyer, why had he acted so differently this time round? "Don't be like this, Christian."

Yet, his back was still turned to me, shoulders hunched forward as he fiddled around his bedside table. "It's just Sawyer, he's like the male version of Kate."

"No, Ethan is the male version of Kate. He's the Ana-Lover Edition of Kate."

"You're being unreasonable."

"Either way, Steele. They both have nothing on me." At the end of his words, his eyes met mine and the box in his hand glistened, throwing rainbows throughout our room.

I was shocked. Christian closed the gap between us, the open box in his palms like a peace offering. He had an arrogant aura around him as I examined the diamond necklace. It had diamonds in every inch of it, a diamond choker. It was simple, but thick.

"Christian, I can't accept this." It was beautiful, though.

"Ana, I bought this for you. It is yours." He said simply, beginning to remove the diamond choker from its velvet nest.

"It looks too expensive." I began to reason with him. "I would never wear it out."

"Don't be silly, it's only 30 carats." My mouth dropped in awe but he seemed to have genuinely meant it. Holy shit, he was filthy rich. "The ones you wear to our functions would be more grand than this tiny thing."

"30 carats, Christian." I refused. "That would take me my entire life to save up for, I can't accept."

He pursed his lips. "I've never given women jewellery before, would you mind not giving me my first bad experience?"

Another first! My inner goddess clasped her hands in excitement as she urged me to accept.

"Ana, I have to confess that I have the entire matching set of bracelet and earrings to go with this necklace sitting in my bedside table." I shifted to stare at the table tentatively. "If you don't like this one, we can change them all."

"It's like you're bribing me. It's like I'm a ho."

The necklace hung from his fingers, swinging back and forth before my eyes as if trying to exert its own alluring charm to capture my acceptance. "Ana, I don't know how to dismissive such unattractive feelings of yours, but it's only physical evidence of my love for you."

Without another word, he brushed my collarbones as he lifted my hair around my neck in order to place the cool surface of the diamond choker against it. I gasped. He chuckled and walked behind me in order to fasten it. Slowly, he spun me to face the mirror at the corner of the room.

My eyes could not leave the sparkles around my neck. I felt like a million bucks. Hell, this was probably close to a million bucks. Christian would be the death of me. "Ana, diamonds agree with you." He taunted me, his fingers running down the line of jewels.

Suddenly, something caught my eye. At the side of my neck was a visible red bruise! Christian's earlier actions of covering this spot came to my mind and anger surged through me. "CHRISTIAN!" I barked, "DID YOU LEAVE A F***ING LOVE BITE ON MY NECK?!"