In fact, rather than removing the banana, he paused and indicated to George that George would be happy to oblige. And George did rather spectacularly fall on the ship's deck. Blackadder said to him, 'I rather think that his hilarious practical jape was set up by those three silly twats over there, but you were so stupid that you fell for it.'

'I think it's the three silly sods, actually, sir,' said George, getting up gingerly.

'Anyway, what is going on here?' Blackadder wondered, slopping on the ship's railings, his navy hat pulled down over his head to keep out the rain. Ahead there was a German destroyer and from it shells exploded in the water near the Richard, spraying water over it's decks. 'Looks like we might have some action, I wasn't looking forward to this. Still, only one good thing is that at least I am not in charge. I might well be a Captain by rank, but I have to admit that I know absolutely bugger all about the Navy and I would hate to have to make any command decisions at this point,' which he didn't like doing normally anyway. The quieter the life the better was Blackadder's idea though it rarely worked, at least not since the war started.

'Well, we have our own ship's captain, so I shouldn't worry about having to do that,' replied Dave. Dave also added as an aside, 'oh, and by the way, if you know nothing about the Navy, you are still probably a better commander than our current Captain!' much to Blackadder's satisfaction.

Lieutenant Dave pointed out the best ways to aim at the destroyer and the Richard replied in kind, causing some damage. Blackadder was just thinking that they might survive this one unscathed when one shell whizzed to the Richard iv. It was quite a visible shell and everyone looked at it. It whizzed above the head of the watchers, behind them to the bridge, and in front of Blackadder's very eyes exploded, killing the ship's captain stone dead. Blackadders thoughts were mixed. On the plus side he did think the Captain totally mad so his absence could only benefit the ships well-been. On the other hand, he was now in charge been the highest-ranked officer present and he couldn't hide or get out of this fact. This was going to be a challenge! Blackadder hated challenges. Almost as much as he hated been in charge of a crippled ship in he North Sea close to the German coastline thanks due to some particularly nutty navigation from the late ships captain. The destroyer had retreated, but it had done much damage. So much so that Blackadder decided to abandon the whole mission, which was a pretty daft one anyway. But heading back to Blighty wasn't easy. Leaking oil and its engines disabled, the journey was slow, and many German ships and u-boats were on the area.

Still, one thing he could do was to ensure that decisions which were made could be favorable to him, personally. As the journey was going to be slow, food was rationed. But not for Blackadder. Not on the sea, and not whilst he was feeling hungry. He was advised not to do this, as this might cause bad feelings for officer/men relations, but Blackadder did not care about officer/men relations when matters of his stomach were concerned. 'Things are bad enough around here, if people think that I am giving up my grub an all they are much mistaken!'

But this did cause resentment. So, the ratings had a meeting. 'This new captain, I hate him,' said one

'Who does he think he is, eating all our food whilst we go hungry,' said a silly sod.

'And he's so arrogant, hes not even a Navy man he's army,' said another.

'Let's get him then,' said Baldrick, whom should perhaps had been loyal to his commanding officer, but he liked to be with the majority.

'But how?' asked one.

The lead Silly sod said, 'Don't worry, I have a cunning plan,' and he pulled everyone around him to gathering a group hug to hear this. Everyone save Baldrick that is. The trouble with Baldrick was that whilst he had heard of soap, actually applying it to himself with water was a foreign concept to him. Having a group hug with Baldrick was enough to put anyone off the team-bonding concept. Mind, anyone in a team with Baldrick in it would be unwise to bound with him anyway. Anyway, the conspiracy was launched and a cunning and diabolical plan of revenge hatched. Most ratings on the ship were in on it and looked forward to it's hatching. The three sods left Blackadder's cabin in the early evening whilst he was out, giggling.

Later that evening,Blackadder had his suspicions that something was up. He had noticed people sniggering at him as he walked by and whispering in shadows. So, that evening he proceeded with caution. He was about to enter his cabin for his evening meal when he noticed something. He smiled and even chuckled grimly. He motioned toBaldrick whom was grinning behind him. 'Why don't you move forward?' Baldrick and did so. And when he did, a bucket of water which had been perched on top of the cabin's door fell right on top of Baldrick, showering him with cold water to a stony but unsurprising look from Blackadder. Blackadder noticed some of the crew lead by the 3 sods laughing anyway.

'Baldrick, how can you be so stupid to fall for and laugh at a practical joke which you were in on?' asked Blackadder.

'I don't know sir, I just got a bit confused,' was Baldrick's rather fuzzy reply.

Although the joke was intended for Blackadder it seemed to satisfy everyone that Blackadder had turned the tables and surprised someone else with it. Even the 3 silly sods were laughing and it was their idea of course. One said, 'Oh, Captain, you are a sport at least, perhaps we like you after all.'

Blackadder dismissed Baldrick and indicated for the 3 silly sods to come inside the Cabin for a firm chat. He told them to stand before him and he gave them all one of his most strong stares and Blackadder could do this to each one of them before continuing.'Now, then, I think that we understand each other. Let me be quite clear. You think that I am a "good sport," as it were, but let it be understood that I will not be fooled by, having my pants pulled down, banana skins on the deck, been taped on the wrong shoulder,' that one had been tried, 'raspberry toys,' he pulled one from one of the silly sods pockets, 'My shoelaces been tied together, or any other of your side-splitting musical japes. We do happen to be, in case you hadn't noticed, in a great deal of danger and we really do have to concentrate on getting home in one piece without any casualties. Though as it happens, I might not mind in the case of you 3. Have I made myself absolutely clear?' The sods agreed, but as Blackadder sat down, he heard a loud farting noise. He looked down on his chair. 'Whoopee cushions, however, might be a different story,' said he and threw it at them as they laughed.

The next day, however, did not prove to be so jolly. Wasn't jolly at all in fact. Blackadder woke up to wind, cold, stormy seas and hail. Driving hail coming down at an angle. And there was bad news. German ships had been spotted. A platoon of German ships in fact. Not just destroyers, including a small Battleship. With the King Richard crippled there was no out running them. Blackadder sighed as he watched the ships on the horizon trying to keep the hail from hitting him in the face as it ran down his jacket. This looked like a crisis situation. 'Ok, everyone, time for a meeting in my cabin, a large crisis needs a large plan,' he said and the senior officers followed him to the cabin for a meeting.