Oh yeah, this is an Excalibur chapter. it serves almost no point to the plot - but i couldn't just not write one.

FOOL!

4m/1w after Asura

"Lord Death, you can't honestly think that keeping her around is a good idea?"

"Would you like to tell me the other options? Because I'm all ears." The reaper had grown tired of Spirit's constant questions - though they were to be expected. After all, it was Rudra and Agni who had caused this entire mess. One of their most talented meisters was currently indisposed due to madness - and Stein was on his way down that road as well. They had lost a student to them, and they also happened to become a full-fledged kishin.

She had suggested a plan to combat the kishin - one that utilized all of the EAT! students that were available, and herself. The plan was fool-proof, having been looked over thoroughly by Tsubaki and Kid. But there was one thing that he couldn't let fly - he couldn't allow her to escape again.

He had let these blades out of his sight once, and they disappeared for 800 years. They had flown under his radar for months before Stein had amassed a good amount of evidence against them - and still, they waited. Maybe if Soul Eater had been more forthcoming about Maka's madness, they could have saved him as well.

But there was no misdirecting the blame - it was solely his fault. He was in charge of the balance of this realm, and he had failed again. He had allowed these weapons to carry on harming students and breeding madness, for what? Just so he could be sure they were really the blades he knew them to be?

"What other choice could he have? She's too powerful to kill right now, and that's if we could-"

"Fool! That isn't your issue; the problem is quite clear. Yes, our good Lord Death isn't struggling with a solution to that question -though, I suppose he could be morally struggling with it- but he's mulling over something bigger; something much more threatening-" If a Reaper Chop could actually hit the Holy Sword, he would have tried. But Excalibur had shown up nearly two hours ago and had sat in silence, up until this point.

"Please, get to the point."

"I. Don't. Like. Being. Interrupted." He enunciated each word with his cane, smacking Spirit in his face. He went on to explain provision number 284, and how it coincided with his lackluster thirties, which lead into a discussion on King Arthur.

"Excalibur, do you know these weapons?"

"Know them? They're my eternal rivals. Yes, that fated spring morn... Or was it a chilled winter night? Ah, yes. My rivals, it happened on that autumn afternoon - we crossed paths naturally, as they are evil and I strike down all things that are so vile as they. Mm, yes, we were shopping at the grocery store, and they took to last of my favorite tea. No, or was that my arch-nemesis, Tom? Yes, maybe it is him..." Stein had gotten much more than he bargained for from the legendary weapon.

Lord Death had been more preoccupied with Arachne than anything else - knowledge of her weapons slipped by, but Excalibur once more slammed his cane onto the ground and shouted 'Fools!' to get everyone's attention once more. The death room was eerily silent, for almost too long.

"I recall their rebellion against Asura. They called humans from all over to be of their service; and they blindly followed. They consumed thousands of souls in their short time here - all from trying to defeat Asura. Arachne couldn't watch them do it anymore, and with the aid of her two most trusted allies -Giriko and Mosquito- she put them in an eternal slumber."

"And is that where your rivalry comes from? Their heinous acts?"

"Fool! Of course. Well, that's not the only reason. But it's a very important one; in reality, they are jealous that they don't have my legendary status."

Stein found that hard to believe. Excalibur, one of the most rude and obnoxious weapons he had ever met, that could never get a story straight, had managed to recall that he had eternal rivals who just so happened to be the subject of discussion lately? And this entire rivalry stemmed... From jealousy? He needed facts. He began to make his way from the death room; he needed to speak with Rudra.

He didn't tell her why, he just said she needed to speak to Lord Death immediately. Some facts needed to be straightened out; and after his denial of her involvement of next week's mission, she was still a bit sour. She wanted to give him a piece of her mind, to tell him that he had no choice but to let her go-

Every thought in her head vanished and was replaced with a single command. Kill. Kill on sight, no questions asked, no mercy given. The collar around her neck was destroyed instantly. Her hair solidified into something similar to steel; the tips were razor sharp. She was seething with anger; before her stood Excalibur. Her eternal rival, the one person she hated more than Asura. Lord Death smacked her away, telling her to calm down.

"Huh, so I guess he was telling the truth. Just to be clear, do you define your relationship with the Holy Sword, Excalibur as-"

"Eternal rivals! I was forged with Asura's madness and Arachne's magic, I was one of the first weapons she made! And yet I and my sister are not legendary? We're only demon blades? No, I won't stand for that - Excalibur, I will kill you and take your title!" They had to admit; none of them had seen her as angry as she was now. She was passionate in her words; but Lord Death had the upper hand.

She was still terrified of him and Stein. He came between her and the other weapon and commanded that she sit down. After clenching her jaw angrily for a few minutes, she relented and sat near Kid; he seemed to be the only other one in the room who shared her feelings on the Holy Sword.

"So it's really as petty as a title?"

"Titles are no petty thing. Death the Kid sounds like a psychopath. But since he's a Grim Reaper, it's totally appropriate. Death Scythe is also a stupid name, but since he's an actual death scythe, it's also appropriate. Being one of the first weapons is enough to be classified as legendary - so why can't we have the title? No, he's been hording the title this entire time. And another thing - what makes him a Holy Sword? I'm not saying we're asking for that title, but what makes that freak Holy?"

Stein had, once more, gotten more of an answer than he had asked for. He had never pegged her for being so petty - but Excalibur tended to bring out the worst in people.

"They call me the Holy Sword, Excalibur! Why, you ask? Because my power is so great, it is only similar to the smiting power of angels. It all has to do with my legend. You see, it began in the 12th century; I was living in a run down artist's studio, trying to get back on my feet after a bad relationship..." Her blade hit the ground next to him, and she was shaking. She couldn't listen to this guy.

"I. Don't. Like. Being. Interrupted." Once again, each word was accompanied by a tap to the forehead. The only reason she hadn't lashed out was because Lord Death was looming behind her, waiting for any signs of attack. Rudra relented; she needed to get out of here.

"Stein, for the love of god, get me away from this thing." For once, the Professor led her out of the death room without a fuss. Normally, he would have given her a hard time; but even he seemed to understand the duress one experienced when near Excalibur. Not even Black*Star could handle the legendary Holy Sword for more than a few minutes.

"There was a student here that managed to wield the Holy Sword for three days."

"Did he die?"

"No, he put Excalibur back. Something about his sneezing fits."

"Are you serious? A sneezing fit did him in, but everything else was acceptable? Man, I hate that guy!"

As many questions as Stein asked, she couldn't seem to convey her rage; she had hated Excalibur since their first meeting, more than 800 years ago. They were holding a competition in a village that was ruled by his meister; he had gotten wind of their tournament and showed up, challenging them to a battle.

They had lost; considering the opponent, it wasn't much of a surprise. But back then, they had been rather prideful; it was when their strength was at its peak, when their abilities knew no bounds. But he was out of their league - and it pained them to admit it.

Their invincibility was what made them so powerful. But with a sword like Excalibur out there, it weakened their claims; he could defeat them.

But even if he could bring them down, he wouldn't. He was only here to observe.