"Ghosts of the Past"
Chapter Fifteen – "Clearing Out the Cobwebs"
By: purpleu
"Damn!" House exclaimed in frustration. He had only a few more tasks for his laptop to do in order to finish his work, and now the thing decides to be unable to find the file. He had been at this for almost three hours straight, struggling not so much with the computer, but with finding a comfortable way to sit on the couch while he worked. He tried a normal position of sitting up with the device on the coffee table. Then House swung his legs up on the sofa, and put the laptop where its name implied; on his lap. While a bit less stressful for his leg, he found it was slowing him down as he tried to enter information. He finally returned to his original sitting position, and now the computer decides to be obstinate. It was time for a bathroom break. Rising from the couch, House first cleaned up the remnants of his dinner that he got from McDonalds, munching on the last few fries as he walked into the kitchen to throw the garbage away. Passing the bookcase with the bottle of Macallan's on the shelf, House was reminded that he had been extremely tempted to dive into some whiskey when he got to the apartment earlier; the first stop he made after leaving work had been at the house, with Lydia and the kids home and Bell visiting as well. House still kicked himself; though he had taken things with him on Monday morning, he had forgotten his laptop back at the house. There was no way he could work on the project he was attempting without it, so a return trip to the homestead was unavoidable…..
"Mom! House is here!" Ben and Elise had been watching at the picture window for House's car to pull into the driveway. Lydia had told them he was coming by for his laptop; he went by her office earlier in the day, and asked if it was alright that he stop over to pick it up. He hadn't even gotten half-way up the stairs before he was accosted by the kids.
"Hi, House! I missed you," Elise said giving him a hug.
"How could you miss me?" he asked as he finally got to the top of the stairs. "You just saw me yesterday morning."
"To a child, any time away from someone they care about is a long time," Bell said from where he was sitting on the love seat. House shot him a look; he was very unsure of what exactly Bell had figured out, and didn't want to start an unwanted conversation with the kids within earshot.
"We had a great time at the zoo with Reverend Bell today," Ben said enthusiastically. "The best part was the exhibit with the nocturnal animals."
"That's because they keep it dark in there and you scared your poor sister half-to-death," Bell said giving a stern look to Ben.
"Yeah, he was mean to me," Elise complained folding her arms.
"Aw, come on; I didn't do anything that House wouldn't have done… to both of us," protested Ben. Lydia walked into the living room where House, Bell, and the kids were gathered. She hesitated for a split-second, then greeted House the way she normally would.
"Hi, you," she said giving him a kiss.
"Hi," he said returning her gesture. House felt his insides twisting about; he should have waited and asked Lydia to bring his laptop to work tomorrow. He felt so comfortable here, perhaps too comfortable. The kiss from his girlfriend, the kids clamoring around them... as opposed to the emptiness waiting for him back at the apartment… made things all the more difficult.
"Are you going to eat with us?" Ben asked. "It's Taco Tuesday." Lydia usually had school on Tuesday nights but with it being Election Day, she had off as did the kids. On the nights when she did have school, House would take charge of making dinner. He had managed to turn the situation into a cool event by teaching the kids how to cook very basic foods so they could help out with the meal. Taco Tuesday was one of the things on their menu.
"Nah, got too much to do," he said looking at the boy. "The guys from the CDC are coming by tomorrow to confirm that my patient really does have dengue hemorrhagic fever. Even after they visit, there's still all the paperwork to be filled out. In quadruplicate."
"Doctors shouldn't have to take care of paperwork," Ben said. "They're supposed to take care of patients." The boy thought for a moment. "You need a secretary."
"I've been telling them that for years; can't get anyone to listen," House said frowning.
"Mommy could be your secretary," offered Elise. "She'd be really good at taking care of stuff." Lydia rolled her eyes and laughed.
"They'd have to make the days thirty-six hours long for me to do everything that people want from me," she noted.
"How long are days?" Elise asked.
"Twenty-four hours, dopey," Ben said.
"I'm not dopey! No one ever told me!" protested Elise. House could tell they were both tired from their day out; he had been around them long enough to pick up on it from their behavior. Normally, Lydia would handle them with no problem, but House knew she had a very bad day.
"Hey, I'm gone two days and civil war breaks out?" he said. "Cut the nonsense." He looked into the dining room. "Go set the table for your mother." The two children started to leave to take care of the task, when Elise turned to House.
"When are you coming back?" He felt both Lydia's and Bell's eyes on him as tried to deal with the child's question.
"As soon as I can figure everything out," he replied, glad that the statement was basically the truth. The little girl didn't answer; she just turned away to help her brother. "I left my laptop in the bedroom," House said and quickly left the scene to retrieve it. He didn't let his eyes wander when he got to the room; he didn't want any other distractions calling him back. He merely went over to his nightstand, took the computer off the lower shelf, and placed it in the carrying bag that sat nearby. As he raised his head up from zipping up the case, he caught sight of a picture he had on his nightstand of Lydia, the kids, and himself. He noticed right away the unusual nature of the photo; he was smiling in it. House paused for only a moment more before looking away, but that brief glimpse was enough to feel like a sucker punch to the gut. He knew he had to get out of there.
"All set?" Lydia asked as House came back down the hall to the top of the stairs. He could smell the onions that Bell was cutting up along with other veggies, a task he usually handled. Lydia had the skillet pan out ready to brown the meat; it was a tempting idea to stay.
"Yeah, got it," House said instead.
"Kids, House is leaving," Lydia called out. House expected Ben to come over looking for a fist bump; instead, the boy gave him a hug, just as his sister did.
"I'm sorry if we were naughty before," Elise said hanging down her head. House had to remind himself how sensitive the kids could be to any reprimands, thanks to Lydia's ex-husband.
"You guys didn't do anything wrong," House said. "Your mom had a bad day at work and needs you two to be extra nice to her."
"Did you have a bad day?" Ben asked. House frowned and looked away.
"I'm still having one," he replied.
"Bye, House," Elise said. "I hope you have a good night."
"Me, too," Ben added. "Bye, House." House had to look away from both of them.
"Bye," he said as he started down the steps.
"I'm just going to walk out with Greg," Lydia said to Thomas. "I'll be right back to start cooking the meat."
"Anything else I can do?" Bell asked.
"No, thanks," Lydia replied as she slowly started down the stairs.
"Looks like that knee that you slammed the other day is still bothering you," House said as they got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Only after I've been on it for a while," Lydia said as she first opened the front door, then pulled it closed behind them, and descended the outer steps of the house.
"You might want to think about an ACE bandage wrap for it. If you had said something while we were in the house, I could have done it for you," offered House.
"I know how to put one on… thank you," Lydia said quietly.
"Just don't sleep with it on… "
"I know what to do! I can handle things by myself!" Lydia spoke with intensity, but not volume, so there was no chance of anyone in the house hearing her. House kept a blank look on his face as he opened his car door and leaned in to place his laptop on the passenger seat. Once his upper body was in the car and hidden from Lydia's view, he closed his eyes. Had he pissed her off that much already? Or did she start to think things over like he had told her to, and realized what a mistake she had made? Only one way to find out… House pulled himself out of the car, stood up, closed the door, and turned to Lydia.
"I didn't mean to imply you couldn't handle things. If I thought for one second you couldn't, I never would have lusted after you to start with," House said looking off to his right as he leaned on the car. "I am, after all, a sapiosexual." Just as it looked like Lydia was tearing up, she began laughing.
"A what? What the hell is that?" she asked.
"Someone who is attracted to and turned on by intelligence." Lydia narrowed her eyes.
"You're making that up."
"Am not; look it up," House said pretending to be hurt by her disbelief. Lydia folded her arms across her chest and leaned on the car next to House.
"How is it that when I feel completely miserable and want to do nothing more than cry, you always manage to make me laugh?" she asked with a smile on her face.
"It's one of the few social skills I possess," he replied finally turning to her. "Besides, it always makes you do that weird thing that drives me crazy."
"What weird thing?" Lydia asked cautiously.
"Laughing and crying at the same time. How and why do you do that?" House asked with a slight gleam in his eyes. He wanted to make sure Lydia knew he was still trying to bust her chops.
"I'll never tell," she said playfully, with a toss of her head. "And by the way… is that drive you crazy thing in a good or a bad way?"
"Not saying a word," House replied as he twirled his cane. "My lips are sealed."
"Too bad," his girlfriend said looking up at him from under her lashes. They met each other's gaze for a second, then Lydia let out a sigh. "Greg… I know you're not ready to talk about things yet, and I'm not trying to push you along… but you're not the only one who likes to figure out a puzzle." House looked down and away from her. "We've both had an awful day, and yet we can stand here joking around and… flirting with each other. Is there something about that that now feels wrong to you? Because it never did before. We've always been extremely comfortable with each other." House was quiet as he started to bounce his cane off of the driveway.
"It feels perfectly fine to me; it feels too good," he said. "Just being in the house, around you and the kids… it feels fantastic, but I'm not sure I can keep it going." Lydia shook her head.
"Keep what going? I don't understand." House rolled his eyes upward.
"You tell me that so far, I'm doing a pretty good job with the boyfriend/partner thing. You even seem to think I do OK with the kids, although I think I was a little hard on them before," he said looking at Lydia. "I'm already a three time loser in the relationship department; when will I begin to act like an idiot, and start treating you the way I treated… "
"Wait just one second," Lydia said firmly. "I'm sorry, Greg, but as far as I'm concerned there were only two other women you had serious relationships with. You imagined one from beginning to end with Cuddy when you were in the coma; delusions don't count. And neither does a one night stand, and years of lusting from afar; that's not having any real interaction on an intimate level with the other person."
"The one-night stand had plenty of intimate interaction, trust me," House said with a smirk. Lydia came over and stood in front of House; she placed her hands on his shoulders.
"I really don't need to hear about that… now or at any other time in the future," she said grimly.
"You don't need to hear about it… you've lived it. That and a lot more stuff that was much, much better." House was fully smiling now, seeing the look on Lydia's face.
"Can we please talk seriously? I do eventually have to get back upstairs and cook dinner for everyone," she said.
"Yeah, there are already two faces looking out of the window at us," House said putting his arms around Lydia. "And I'm sure there's a big white polar bear standing not too far behind them requesting a play by play." He looked at his girlfriend. "I'll grant you this; whatever relationship I had with Cuddy didn't happen in the normal way. Then again, I've never been a fan of normal. Sarah… there's something more I need to tell you about that situation, something I need to show you. Once I get my head on straight about things, I promise I'll let you in on the secret." Lydia slowly nodded, her curiosity piqued. "Stacy is my real hang-up, just like she has been for years now. We had a lot of fun, did a lot that I really enjoyed. I enjoyed her company." House dropped his head down. "I loved her… a lot. But the truth is, I deliberately treated her like a second-class person in my life, which was not in line with what I felt. It was a lie. When she was trying to convince me to amputate my leg to save my life, she asked me if I would do it if it meant saving her life; I told her yes. And I meant it." Lydia reached up and ran her hand down the side of House's face. He had told her about the incident before, but she could see it still upset him, all these years later. "I acted like a jerk all because I was scared of how good my relationship with her could have been; I saw the potential. I didn't want to even get close to anything written in stone. I wasn't about to go through what I did with Sarah again."
"So where does that leave us?" Lydia asked quietly. House closed his eyes.
"That's what I'm trying to get a handle on. I'm… amazed… at how much I've been enjoying things, enjoying life since you came back to New Jersey. This," he said looking up at the house and the faces in the window. "Is something I always wanted… " He stopped when he saw Lydia smile. "I know I certainly haven't given the impression it's high on my bucket list… "
"No, you've been too busy hiding behind the shield of anti-social, generally not very nice behavior and kept everyone away," said Lydia. "But, now you've managed to stop fighting your feelings and you've given in to them quite a bit more than you used to. And the result is, you now have what you've wanted."
"And like Wilson said to me, I don't know what to do with it." House sighed. "Actually, I know what I want to do." He looked at Lydia. "We're good together. We make a good team to handle everything life throws at us, and it's been a lot. I know that you would never do anything to deliberately hurt me; I trust you implicitly. I'm just not so sure that after a while, I won't pull the same crap as I did long ago. And that doesn't hurt just you," he said glancing at the house. "The kids have been hurt enough already in their lives and I know too well what that feels like. I won't be the one to do it to them again." Lydia put her head down; she knew House was right about the children. "I have to figure out if I can trust myself. That may be hard since I'm not a very reliable character." Lydia ran her hands down House's arms. They felt good around her, but she knew she had to give them up and head back to the kids.
"I'm glad you at least gave me a little insight into what you're thinking," Lydia said. "I've been going crazy trying to decide what it is I may have said or done that brought you to this point."
"You've done nothing wrong, Fraulein." House looked at her. "It's just scary to have finally met someone who can keep up with me... and surpass me occasionally. It puts too many thoughts in my head."
"Well, actually I did slip up with something… Thomas knows for sure about our situation. The kids were in the backyard while I was getting things out for dinner; Thomas was watching them from the deck. It's such a warm night for November, that I left the screen door in place, rather than sliding the glass door over. Annie called to check up on me, and he overheard the conversation. When the kids came in and went to the bathroom to wash up, he came to me to ask if I was alright."
"Hence the reason for you being annoyed when I tried to make sure you were OK," House said with a scowl. Lydia nodded.
"I told him that the children don't know and we're going to talk to them on the weekend; he promised not to say a word to anyone else."
"Luckily, I think we can trust the dear Reverend," House noted. He saw that Lydia still looked upset over spilling the beans. "Don't worry about anything; it was almost inevitable." House shot a look to the window. "You'd better get back in there and feed those three; I hear fresh air can stir up an appetite. In the meantime, let's confuse the old guy and make the kids smile." House pulled Lydia into his arms and kissed her; gently at first, then with more insistence with each subsequent kiss. Finally, they stood back and looked at each other.
"I… I'd better get inside." Lydia started to turn away, but then turned back to House. "Greg, I can understand you questioning many things… but don't ever doubt how much I love you."
"I love you, too, Fraulein," House said as he reached behind him for the door handle. "Oh, and don't let the Cheese Queen get a hold of the bag of shredded cheddar. Her preferred method of application is to dump half the contents on one taco." Lydia laughed as she started to climb the steps.
"Thanks for the warning," she called out. "I'll see you tomorrow." House watched Lydia until she disappeared inside of the house. He looked up at the window; Ben and Elise were still there, watching. He waved his cane at them and they responded by rapidly waving their hands. With a good deal of regret and remorse, House got in his car, pulled out of the driveway, and drove away…
House snapped his attention back to the present. He had promised himself he wouldn't think about his domestic situation until after he finished what he was working on; how he thought he could ever keep that promise, he wasn't sure. His stop at the house tonight left him with thoughts that he would have to deal with later. Now, it was time for that potty break.
Coming back down the hall from the bathroom a few minutes later, House frowned when he spotted the laptop sitting on the coffee table. He thought he knew what he had done wrong before, but if his next entry didn't work, he was destined to have that glass of Macallan's now to ease his aggravation. House had been working in silence, but as he sat back down on the couch, he reached for the controller and put the radio on. His face instantly broke in a smile as he recognized the opening notes of Professor Longhair's classic, "Tipitina." Whether this next try worked or not, the song revived him enough to keep going. In a few minutes, he saw that his efforts had been rewarded with a notice from the computer that everything had gone through. Deciding he deserved that Macallan's to celebrate, House rose from the sofa, and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He returned to the couch, and punched a few keys on the laptop so he could review his work from the beginning; he wasn't really worried about the results, he just wanted to make sure. As House watched the screen, he found himself distracted; his ear was picking up on the words of the song that was now playing on the radio… Evenin', every night you come and you find me, why must you always remind me, that my baby's gone… House grabbed the controller and quickly changed the station to one broadcasted by a local college; they played a diverse selection of music he could deal with. He threw the device on the table, and turned his attention back to the computer. House was pleased with what he saw; his hard work had been worth it. Saving the data and closing out the program, he debated whether to cruise the internet, or relax and see where his mind took him. While it had the potential to be unpleasant, he knew trying to sort out his demons had to be a priority. Just as House was closing the lid on his laptop, his phone began to buzz. He pulled it out of the pocket of his jeans and checked the caller ID; it was Lydia.
"Hey," he said answering the call.
"Hi. Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to give you a heads up; I think Thomas is on his way over to your place."
"What makes you say that?"
"He left here a few minutes ago, saying there was something he had to take care of. It's nearly ten o'clock, so I can't imagine any stores or businesses that would be open."
"We have a 24-hour supermarket in town that sells everything. Maybe his supply of Depends is running low and he's too embarrassed to say anything," House said as he stood up from the couch. He could hear Lydia laugh through the phone.
"You're being fresh. He doesn't wear Depends and you know it. Thomas is just as healthy as either one of us."
"Yeah, if you don't include my leg," House noted. "Thanks for the warning. Now at least I have time to figure out the quickest and most efficient way to get rid of him. See you tomorrow, Fraulein."
"Good night, Hon," Lydia replied. House ended the call; now the question was, did he really want to send Bell packing? He never knew how to define his relationship with the man. House genuinely liked the old guy if for no other reason than he knew how happy Thomas had made his mother. And he did hold a real affection and concern for House, something that he wasn't quite sure how to react to. Then there was always the very strong and real possibility that Bell was his father. House shook his head; he would just go with his gut when and if the man arrived. He didn't have long to wait. In a few minutes, House heard the rapping on his door.
"I'm sorry, but the choir you were about to preach to has left the building," House said swinging open the door. "The accompanist couldn't find anyone to play with his organ." Bell managed a slight smile at the rude joke.
"I haven't come to preach, or lecture or express disapproval… I came to see if you were OK," Bell replied. House frowned.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because through no fault of her own, I overheard Lydia on the phone with Annie earlier today. I know what's going on. Now, I've had the opportunity to spend a bit of time with you and Lydia over the past weeks. From the last few hours your mother was alive, to the funeral, to Lydia coming down to the house to help us clear it out. And I've observed the way you two interact with each other here on your home turf. I know I've said this to you before, but you really do remind me of your mother and me." House looked down at the floor. Yes, Bell had said it, and even House recognized it.
"What's your point?" he asked.
"My point… is that with all the time your mother and I had to spend apart from each other, there is nothing and no one that could keep us away from each other, once we were in the clear. You and Lydia had to spend time separated, too. And for you now to be willing to remove yourself from your home with her… and from those children… there must be something troubling you very deeply." Bell looked away. "I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help… lend an ear, perhaps… " Many a time House wanted to chastise himself for so easily accepting Bell into his life. He tried to rationalize things by saying that he was doing it out of respect to his mother. But if the truth be told, somewhere in the back of House's mind were glimpses of Bell being very kind to him at various points in his life. This wasn't an attempt to worm his way in now that Blythe was gone; this had always been there.
"Come in," House said opening the door wider. Bell entered the apartment; he had been here a few times recently when House had stopped in to take things over to the house. It seemed strange to him now that items were moving back in the opposite direction.
"Things have changed a bit around here," Bell noted.
"The place looks like someone can't make up their mind whether they live here or not, which is a fairly accurate statement. Want something to drink?" Thomas saw that House had a glass of whiskey; as much as he would have loved to have joined him, he never had anything alcoholic when he was driving.
"Some soda or iced tea would be fine," Reverend Bell said. He sat down on the couch as House went into the kitchen.
"Coke or ginger ale?"
"Ginger ale is good," Bell replied. House returned to the living room and handed him a can. He then leaned over and removed a coaster from a stack on the coffee table and placed it in front of Bell. He gave House a curious look. "I never would have taken you as a Suzy Homemaker type." House made a face.
"Far from it. When Fraulein and I started living together, she took these out one day, and just left them on the table. Then when she brought me a drink later that same day, she put one under my glass. Never barked out a command to use them or anything like that."
"She led by example, and you chose to follow." House nodded.
"It's a more effective way of getting someone like me to do something. And it's a much more pleasant way to live with someone."
"It's one of the things you like about Lydia," Thomas observed.
"One of a lot of things I love about her," House said quietly as he picked up his drink.
"So… is this separation something you've been thinking about for a while or… " Reverend Bell hated to pry, but if he was going to offer some kind of comfort or advice to House, he had to know what was going on. House cringed.
"It's getting monotonous having to repeat the same thing, but since you're relatively new to the scene, I'll cut you some slack." House took a gulp of his drink. "The problem is not with Fraulein… it's with me." He glanced over at Bell, saw the puzzled look on his face and rolled his eyes. "I love her… I have no doubts about that. And for whatever unknown reason, she loves me." House leaned back on the couch and turned to Thomas. "She gets me. She understands how I think, how I feel about things and why I think and feel the way I do. Even when she strongly disagrees with me, she respects my opinion. She doesn't try to tell me I'm wrong to think or feel a certain way. She just tells me what her thoughts are. She's never tried to change me." House leaned forward and took another sip from his glass. "Fraulein is one of the few people in the world who make me laugh for all the right reasons. I have happiness with her that I thought was humanly impossible… at least in my life." House let out a sigh. "There's nothing wrong with her, believe me."
"Oh, I believe you," Thomas said. "One look at your face as you talk about her and how she makes you feel… I can tell. Which makes me wonder why you think you'd ever treat her badly. At least that's what I got from hearing Lydia's end of the conversation earlier."
"If you had met Stacy, you'd wonder how I could ever treat her badly, but I did." House hung his head down. "It's kind of easy to slip into the mindset of not being worth another person's affections with the beginning I had in life." Bell nodded; he always felt terribly guilty whenever House brought up John House's mistreatment of him. "I'll never forget the day," House said as he brought his glass up to his lips and took a drink. "That I brought home a report card with straight A's that put me on the honor roll for the umpteenth time. I had to be about fifteen and had just recently told Flyboy I had no intention of following him into the military." House stood up and made his way over to the whiskey bottle on the bookshelf. It was becoming clear to Bell that House had every intention of getting drunk. "Instead of congratulating me, he didn't even look at the grade report. He said, 'I don't care how much of a bookworm you are, as far as I'm concerned you'll always be a little maggot crawling around on the dung pile you call your life.'" Thomas began to form his hands into fists; he swallowed hard several times to keep from yelling out his disgust at John House and the statement he made. What that bastard did to my son, he thought sadly to himself.
"I'm sure Lydia tries to help you deal with your bad memories," was about all Thomas could get out.
"Fraulein had a monster for a father herself; never respected her intelligence," House said as he plopped back down on the couch. "So again, she gets where my head is at with this."
"Somewhere along the line, you must have decided to hell with his opinion of you; when you met Sarah, I assume. I remember your mother saying you never had a girlfriend in high school or college, just a series of dates. Which surprised her very much… she thought you were a great catch." Despite his mood, House managed to smile. As much as John seemed to hate him, his mother clearly adored him.
"I had a few brief encounters, nothing lasting more than a few weeks. But, yeah… when I met Sarah, I felt like my life had turned around. She was extremely intelligent, sharp wit, didn't take anybody's guff… I felt like she was my chance to have a wife and kids, a family. Because despite what I grew up with, I wanted the All-American Dream… I wanted to climb off the dung pile and prove him wrong." Bell watched House gulp down more of the whiskey.
"You did love Sarah, though. You didn't ask her to marry you just to spite John?"
"Yeah, I loved her. Too bad she didn't love me to the same extent."
"Greg, what were her reasons for calling off the wedding and ending things? Did you ever find out?" House tilted his head back and let out a laugh.
"You know how they say, you can't put a price on love? Flyboy figured out what the going number was." He leaned forward, and picked up an envelope from the coffee table. It was the same envelope he had been keeping in the back of his nightstand drawer. He tossed it into Bell's lap, and put his head down into his hands. Thomas looked puzzled as he picked up the unmarked envelope. He reached in and removed the contents. As he began to look them over, his stomach bunched up into a knot.
"Dear, God!" he exclaimed. His jaw dropped as he continued to examine the items he held. In his hands was a cancelled check; John House was the only holder on the account it was issued from. The amount of the check was twenty-five thousand dollars and the payee… was Sarah Welles. "He bribed her to cancel the wedding?"
"And she gladly took it," House said rubbing his face, then grabbing his glass and downing the contents in one gulp.
"But why? Why would he do this… despicable act? He was capable of great cruelty, I know… but this?" Thomas sat in shock, shaking his head.
"Why did he do it? Because I was about to prove him wrong. I was going to have the one thing that twisted bastard couldn't; a wife who loved me, kids that… " House's voice trailed off. "Kids that loved and respected me. I tried, I really did try to give him the respect he demanded of me; but as the old saying goes… respect is earned, not given." Bell hated to continue questioning House, but he was looking for something, anything that might prove this to be something other than what it appeared.
"This note that's in the envelope… are you sure it's Sarah's handwriting?"
"Yep. And it's her signature that endorsed the check." Thomas looked at the note, dumbfounded. I, Sarah Welles accept this check in the amount of twenty-five thousand dollars from John House with the understanding that I will call off my wedding to his son, Gregory House. I will break off the relationship I have engaged in with Gregory and will make no further attempt to contact him.
"The nerve of that…cretin… calling you his son!" Bell said angrily. "A man… a real man… doesn't have to have his DNA floating around in a child's body to be a father to them. He can be a better father than their biological one. You've more than proven that with Ben and Elise!" House closed his eyes at the mention of the children's names. "Greg, why would Sarah take the money from him? What could he have possibly said?"
"He didn't have to say anything; the money simply meant more to her than I did," House said as he staggered to his feet. He realized it was foolish to keep getting up to get more whiskey; he was probably going to finish the bottle and the task was becoming difficult to achieve. He saw that Bell was anticipating an explanation of his last statement, so he obliged. "Sarah had a rough family life. Her dad skipped out when she was around five, and he emptied the bank accounts before he disappeared. The only way she got into college and then medical school was on full scholarships and living stipends. I saw how paranoid she was about money in lots of different ways, but everything came to a head right after we got engaged. I was in town getting a few things from the stores, and I ran into her… coming out of a second-hand store with a bag of clothes. She was embarrassed that I found out her secret. I sat down with her and I told her, we're both going to be doctors. Money won't ever be an issue… and if anything did happen, that I would take care of us. She'd never have to worry. I guess she didn't believe in me enough to think I could carry it off."
"And somehow John found out about her vulnerability with the subject, and he took advantage of it," Bell said sadly.
"Yeah. The first time I went home after Sarah and I started dating, I was sitting at the kitchen table with Mom, telling her about Sarah. He had walked away, acting like he didn't care. But he did… my happiness made him angry, and he did what he could to stop it. He won." Thomas shook his head; he was about to say something, but House continued speaking. "And then about seven or eight years later, I met Stacy." Another bit of whiskey passed House's lips. "I wasn't getting pulled in again. So defenses all in place, I had her become my live-in girlfriend. I figured it had to be cheaper than all the hookers I was paying for." House looked at the Reverend, expecting a reproach, but he didn't get one. "I pulled such crap on her."
"Did you cheat on her?" inquired Bell.
"No. Not until the end when things had gotten so bad, that we were both seeing other people." House looked at the bottle of Macallan's. "Sure you don't want some of this?" he offered.
"I think it would be better if I not indulge," Thomas said with growing concern.
"Good, more for me." He took another drink. "She wanted to meet my folks… I refused, although I would have liked her to have met Mom. Stacy wanted me to meet her folks… she set up a meeting five times… each time I backed out at the last minute. When I took her riding on my motorcycle for the first time, I deliberately drove like a lunatic. When I finally pulled over, she refused to get back on; took a cab home. I never did say I'm sorry." House shook his head. "Why she stayed with me after all the stunts I pulled, I'll never know."
"Because she saw something in you that she felt was worth staying around for. She stayed with you even after you had the problem with your leg."
"Right before this happened," House said grabbing his leg. "I began to realize that things were different with Stacy. Being a lawyer, she was never going to worry about money," he said with a rueful laugh. "I was going to let things out, tell her what had happened with Sarah. I never got the chance. When I woke up after the operation, realized she defied my wishes… that on top of all the damage I had already created spelled the beginning of the end." He took another sizable gulp of his beverage.
"Do you think you wanted to marry Stacy?" House closed his eyes.
"I think so… I don't know. My thinking never got that far before it all crashed and burned." He picked up the Macallan's to refill his glass.
"Greg, don't you think you've had enough?"
"Hell, no. I haven't even finished telling my story. Next in line was the Beautiful Bavarian Bombshell, a.k.a. Fraulein, a.k.a. Lydia." House shakily poured a drink. "I was in a freaking asylum… she fell in love with me, took me with no hesitation or reservations. Now, she wants to share her life with me, share her children with me…" House ran his hands through his hair. "I can't… I can't hurt her. I'm scared that I will," he admitted. Grabbing for his drink, he almost knocked it over. Bell leaned across and moved the glass out of House's reach.
"You're a man of great logic and reason," Thomas began. "So tell me this. You were hurt by your relationship with Sarah so badly, that when Stacy came along, you took steps to make sure that you wouldn't become that involved again. You didn't want a repeat of the hurt. Now here you are with Lydia, and you want to be with her, you want to make a life with her and the children, and you know she'll never hurt you." House nodded. "So why would you engage in the same actions with Lydia, as you did with Stacy, when you know it will ruin your relationship? Greg, you're much smarter than that."
"If I'm so damn smart, why couldn't I see that I didn't need to dump on Stacy the way I did?" Thomas sighed.
"Because as much as I hate to say it, John was right about you in one way; you are extremely book smart. You have the most extraordinary mind of anyone I've ever met," Bell said with pride. "But in matters of the heart… matters of personal relationships… you're not anywhere near as skilled as you are with medicine and a host of other things." He reached over and put his hand on House's shoulder. "Son, you've spent a good portion of your time healing and saving other people's lives. Don't you think it's time you put some effort into healing and saving your own?" House looked to his left and made eye contact with Bell.
"You really think I can do it don't you?" Thomas thought at first House was accepting his words. "You moron! You think that hiding inside me is some phoenix who's going to rise up out the ashes of the hell that I've made of my life? And I'm going to go nest with Fraulein and the rug rats and it will all work? You're an idiot." House stood up from the couch, and staggered toward the bookcase, forgetting that the bottle of whiskey was no longer there.
"I think the only way it won't work is if you give up. I know you love Lydia too much to give up on her; I certainly know she'd never give up on you."
"You forgotten one thing… what happens when I give up on myself? I can tell you from experience, it isn't pretty." House was leaning against the wall next to the bookcase. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. "Had enough talking for one night. I'm tired… I'm going to bed."
"Do you want your cane? You're a bit unsteady… "
"I'm fine," House snapped. "I'm going to pee and then get into bed." Thomas watched from the end of the hallway as House stumbled toward the bathroom. Once he heard the door close, he quickly picked up the glass from the coffee table and brought it into the kitchen. He was about to dump it, but then had a thought; if House knew he dumped it, he might get angry. Bell looked at the glass, took a small sip, swirled it around in his mouth, and spit it out. He then rinsed the glass, placed it on the drying rack and hurried down the hall. He got to the bathroom door just as it opened.
"I hope it's not a problem, but I changed my mind; I finished off the glass of Macallan's that you had." House eyed him suspiciously, but then leaned over and took a sniff. The smell of the whiskey that Bell had used as a "mouthwash" was still on his breath.
"As long as there's some left in the bottle," House said as he staggered into the bedroom. Thomas hesitated by the door, then took several steps in.
"Can I get anything for you?" he asked. House, who had sat down on the edge of the bed, looked up at him and scowled.
"What are you going to do, tuck me into bed? The time for that has long past," House sniped. He stood up, unzipped jeans and slid them down his legs. Thomas tried not to obviously stare as he got his first look at House's scar; he felt a surge of sympathy for him that he had lived with the pain for all these years. House looked around; he couldn't remember where his PJ pants were, so he decided to just sleep in his boxers and t-shirt. He pulled down the covers and crawled into the bed. It was then that he noticed that Bell was still in the room. "I don't need a bodyguard to watch me while I sleep." Thomas chose his next words carefully.
"Greg, this is your decision… you have to do what you think is best for yourself. But, please… I beg of you… do not let that son-of-a-bitch ruin this for you. He… he took the love of my life from me. He took my son from me," Bell said choking up. "Do not let that monster reach out from beyond the grave and snatch Lydia and the kids away from you." House wouldn't look at Bell; he was in no shape to deal with an emotional old man.
"Go home so Fraulein can get some sleep."
"She said she'd be up late doing some work, but I still have the key she gave me when I took the children to the zoo." House shook his head, not wanting to hear about Bell's good day with the kids.
"Put the bathroom light on as you leave; I'm going to be needing the facility for multiple purposes tonight." He turned over onto his left side, and closed his eyes. Heading out to the bathroom, Thomas turned on the light as House requested. As he turned to make his way down the hall, Bell took one last look into the bedroom. House had taken Lydia's pillow, turned it lengthwise, and was cradling it in his arms. The scene was so pathetic, so heartbreaking, that he had to look away. Quietly leaving the apartment, and locking the door behind him, Reverend Bell paused in the hallway to wipe away the tears he shed for his son.
When Thomas had returned to the house, he had told Lydia that House had indulged a bit too much, and might be more than a little late going into work. She covered for him when she got to the hospital in the morning, telling everyone that he had been awake all night throwing up. Lydia then sent a text to House to let him know the story she had told. Because of the cover put up for him, he was greeted with sympathy when he made it into work a little after ten o'clock.
"Hey, didn't expect to see you in this early," Chase said as House entered his office. "Lydia said you were pretty sick last night." House nodded.
"That's why I'm starting my day with warm Coke instead of hot coffee," he replied. "I was going to stay under the covers until I realized I'd only be prolonging the CDC's visit here. Want to get those guys back into their test tubes as soon as possible."
"The guy's not too bad; I don't think he wants to be here anymore than we want him here. He's down in the lab with Thirteen and Taub right now," said Chase. "Then he's heading over to interview Alvie; track his movements and whatnot. We were able to pull the trach this morning, so he should be better able to answer any questions."
"Good. Maybe he'll punish the guy with one of his raps." Chase laughed, and returned to the conference room to continue working on charts. House sank into his desk chair; the last thing he wanted to do right now was work. He was not only feeling ill from the after effects of the alcohol, but from bits of the conversation he had with Bell flashing through his mind. Wanting to keep up appearances, and put off any questions, he turned on his computer and shuffled around some of the papers on his desk.
"Hi! How are you feeling?" House looked up to see Thirteen standing in the doorway between his office and the conference room.
"Like I've been laying on the floor in front of a bass drum," he replied. "Where's the government stooge?"
"He's with Taub down in Alvie's room. They'll be up here next." Thirteen looked at her boss curiously. "So what got to you?"
"Probably something the kids brought home," House said, not making eye contact with her.
"I didn't know they had been sick." He knew Thirteen well enough to know that she was suspicious of the situation. Time to make a fast exit.
"They weren't. Finding out the old saying is true; kids get a bug, they belch a few times, and that's it. An adult gets it, and they spend the next hours of their life upchucking in the bathroom," House said standing up. "Which is where I'm heading now." He grabbed his cane and quickly left, glad to have dodged any further questions. When he returned a bit later, the representative from the CDC was waiting for him. The team's assessment of the man was correct; the guy just wanted to ask as few questions as possible and move on. He was finished talking to House within thirty minutes. Free from anyone needing his attention at the moment, he left his office to go get another can of Coke and figure out which of his usual hiding spots he wanted to head to. A few more hours of real sleep and he would most likely feel better. House was going down to the clinic to see if there was an empty room he could seek refuge in, when his cell phone rang. It was Wilson.
"Yeah," was all he said as he answered the call.
"I see you finally made it in," Wilson said. House made a face.
"I'm not in the mood for any crap from anyone. What do you want?" Wilson sighed.
"Arlene asked to see you, me and Lydia in Cuddy's room as soon as possible."
"OK."
"What? No argument? No asking why?" House ended the call without replying. He patted his blazer pocket to make sure what he needed was in there. A few minutes later, he got off the elevator in the ICU ward and was greeted by Wilson and Lydia already by the nurses' station.
"Hi," Lydia said as he approached.
"Hi," House said, not making eye contact with her. He was afraid if he did, too much of last night would coming flooding back into his brain. "Any idea why we're here?"
"I don't know. I saw that Arlene had Rachel with her earlier, which was unusual because she's gone to the day care center the past few days," said Lydia.
"Shall we find out what this is about?" asked Wilson. The three of them walked into Cuddy's room to find Arlene sitting with Rachel on her lap. The child was playing with Arlene's tablet.
"Hi, thanks for coming by. I visited two facilities yesterday after everything quieted down. Marcia a doll, but you two have known Lisa the longest of anyone caring for her," she said to House and Wilson. "And you seem to understand things from a mother's point of view."
"That has something to do with the fact that she's a mother," House quipped.
"Why isn't Rachel at day care today?" Lydia asked.
"I didn't want to smile," Rachel answered. Arlene laughed.
"It was picture day at the center and I didn't think it would be appropriate since that's not her regular class. She has her own picture day next week at her school," said Arlene as she stroked the child's head. "Well, let me show you what I've seen." Taking the tablet back from Rachel she showed them the pictures and notes that she took during her visits, along with the care facilities literature. While one had medical care, they also heavily emphasized things like social activities, and an in-house beauty salon, things that would mean nothing to Cuddy. The other facility while further away from Arlene's home, was better equipped to handle someone in Cuddy's state. All three agreed that the second one was the better choice. "I thought so, too. I guess I just wanted some reassurance that I was making the right decision."
"Arlene, you're doing the best for her… that you possibly can," Wilson said. "She'll be safe there." Arlene nodded.
"Have you checked your e-mail today?" House asked. Mrs. Cuddy looked startled at the question.
"No, I haven't.
"Check it." Lydia and Wilson looked at House; they had no clue what he was up to. "You'll have one there from 'NightTripper'; open it." Arlene saw the item was there and did as he told her. "Open the link that's in the e-mail." Rachel was back on her grandmother's lap, watching the screen. As an image appeared, Arlene's mouth fell open.
"Oh my… oh my God!"
"Mommy! And me!" Rachel called out with delight. Wilson and Lydia didn't mean to intrude, but their curiosity got the better of them. As they came to stand next to Arlene, they could see that a video was playing, entitled "Rachel and her Mommy." On it were images of Cuddy, Arlene and others holding Rachel as a baby. There was even a picture of House holding her. Finally the scene switched from a slide show to a video with sound.
"Here's my Rachel; here's my baby," Cuddy was heard to say. "You're my girl, aren't you sweetie?"
"I can hear Mommy's voice!" Rachel said to Arlene with wonder and delight. "She's talking to me!"
"Yes, she is," her grandmother said. She looked up at House. "How… "
"Well, I'd say I had a man to man talk with someone, but since the other person involved was Lucas, I'd be lying," House said. "I just made him see the problems that he would face if my good friend the assistant DA knew that he had photos and video of a little girl on his computer. Especially the ones where she's pulling up the hem of her dress."
"Oh, you didn't," Arlene said in shock.
"Oh, he would," Wilson said with a laugh.
"This… this is the most precious gift anyone could give to Rachel and me. I don't care how much of a pain in the ass my daughter said you are, I think you're wonderful!" House squirmed uncomfortably at Arlene's words.
"Thanks," he said staring at the floor. Rachel handed the tablet back to her grandmother and came over to House. She hugged him around his legs.
"Thank you, Dr. House. Now I'll have Mommy's voice forever," the child said.
"Here," he said reaching into his pocket. "There's a DVD of the video in case you want to view it on your TV, and a copy's on this flash drive." House handed the items to the child, who brought them to Arlene. "Well, my work here is done." He left the room and quickly headed to the elevators. Lydia and Wilson excused themselves and followed behind.
"House!" Wilson called out. Ignoring his friend, House pushed the call button; he really didn't want to talk. "House, that was the most… incredible thing you did for Arlene and Rachel," Wilson said as he came along side of him.
"It was so sweet, so thoughtful," Lydia said.
"Yeah, I'm a prince of a guy," said House sarcastically. He finally turned to look at Lydia, and his attitude softened. "I thought about how Frick and Frack would feel if they could never hear your voice again. And either that kid's extremely naïve, or I badly misjudged Cuddy as a mother. Either way, I got the pictures and videos from Lucas, and Mama Cuddy's e-mail from the chart; it's done." The elevator arrived and the three entered the car. "I'm heading out of here," House said as the doors closed. "I need to get some sleep." Lydia and Wilson exchanged a quick glance.
"Will you be alright alone? I mean… " Wilson wasn't sure what to say. House stayed silent until they got to the second floor.
"I'll be fine. Alone is my favorite state of being." As House left the elevator, and the doors began to close behind him, Lydia put her head on Wilson's shoulder; despite her intentions to the contrary, she started to cry.