Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews and reactions, it is a pleasure to read them.

December, 15th:

3.30pm

"You slept with her, didn't you?"

Maura choked on her cup of tea and opened wide – panicked – eyes while the group of teenagers in front of her burst out laughing.

Way too enthusiastically to her own taste, Grace bent over the table – as if to create a semblance of intimacy in the room – and raised an amused eyebrow.

"How was it?" The girl shook her head, giggles passing her lips. She clapped her hands; thrilled. "I knew it! I knew it was only, like, a matter of time."

"And don't tell us it's not true. We saw you arrive, the two of you. You looked all timid and shit, almost embarrassed. Gosh you're cute but so dumb at times. No offense..."

As delicately as she could – and trying to win some time – Maura put her cup back on the table then straightened up. She swept away invisible dust from her dress, bit her lips.

"Don't you all think that you are a bit too young to speak about this? Besides the fact that it is none of your business, that is. My private life is..."

"Oh, bullshit. Stop the crap and tell us it all. We're not kids anymore." Amelia closed the book she had been reading – the same as the week before – and squinted her eyes at the scientist. "I'm not really in lesbian stuff myself but who cares, I still want the details. How is Jane in bed?"

Maura giggled nervously and looked down at her hands. The truth was that she didn't understand at all what had happened the night before. She had come to Jane's place to talk – to apologize even for her incongruous kiss – but instead of doing so, she had done it again. And again.

Jane as well.

They had slept together – had woken up together – and spent a large part of the morning in bed doing nothing but staring blankly in front of them. As if astounded by life. Taken aback by all their gestures, their latest choices.

Then and in a perfect silence, they had got ready for work and left.

What were they, now? They hadn't kissed again, hadn't exchanged a word at Jane's place and barely a couple of sentences at the BPD. They had reached another lever in their relation yet Maura wasn't sure of what it meant. Was it supposed to be the beginning of something or just a mistake that Jane would prefer to forget, pretending that it hadn't happened in the end?

"I am not here – volunteering – to tell you about what might or might not happen in my private life. You might not like it but it is how it goes. Now let's focus on this Christmas present list. Are you all ready and done with your purchase?"

Slumped against the table, Daniela made a face and moaned of despair. Obviously, she didn't like at all Maura's change of subject. None of the girls did, actually. As the medical examiner scanned their reactions, she came to face nothing but eyerolls and sighs.

"Why don't you want to let us know? C'mon... You and Jane, it's like our daily soap opera. You are really making our days brighter and all, you know. Tell us at least if you did sleep together. Please!"

Maura pursed her lips and cast a death glare at the Italian who was chilling out with the boys and a couple of younger children a bit further. She shook her head.

"You won't get a word from me. Period."

...

5pm

"I err... I gotta go. To work." Twisting her hands nervously – observing each passer-by with terrible suspicion as if afraid they were here to overhear what she had to say – Jane shrugged away her comment and turned on her heels as soon as they made it back to the streets after their volunteering.

Maura nodded quietly and tried to ignore the flinch of pain in her heart as she watched the brunette go away to her car. Jane didn't want to talk about their night. She was rushing away from it.

If the honey blonde hadn't been certain until now, her friend's behavior had just confirmed what she had feared: she needed to turn the page and now.

Ashamed and a bit lost – lonely – she walked to her own car and got inside. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A long one. The air burnt her lungs, made her choke slightly. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why did she have to rush into things like that? She shouldn't have kissed Jane – not the way she had – because it had gone too fast.

Jane must have felt curious and nothing else, in the end. Yes. It had to be curiosity; the kind of one that hurt like hell.

She was about to start the engine when her cell phone rang. Reluctantly – not in the mood to be the slightest connected to the rest of the world – she nonetheless took the device out of her bag and checked the message. She didn't work, this afternoon. Good thing. She needed a break; a break from everything.

May I come for dinner, tonight?

J.

The question took her aback. Jane had stopped asking such requests for at least three years, now. Or even a bit more. She knew for a fact that she could come any time. Why did she feel the urge to ask, now? A bit uncomfortable, Maura replied by the affirmative and sent the text message.

She didn't feel relieved – though – for not knowing how to act. What if Jane was expecting from her the same attitude as the one she had had the evening before? Her first conclusion had just crashed as the Italian wanted to see her, to spend some time with her. But how? Under which circumstances?

She let a growl of frustration pass her lips as she buried her face against the steering-wheel. She was really talented at making her life look even more complicated.

Annoyed with herself, she drove off and headed to Beacon Hill. It was a good thing that she had the rest of the day for herself. She needed some time to think about a thousand things and now to prepare a meal because – if there was something sure – it was that it wouldn't be a casual dinner, not the kind they usually shared together.

No. It would be different. Everything would be different from now on; no matter what they chose.

But as she arrived home, nothing went as planned. First an issue with her central heating then Jane's new message telling her that she had to cancel because of work. Just when Maura had began to get ingredients out for a recipe.

She knew that her reaction was shameful – to not just say something else – but she couldn't help feeling disappointed in Jane for the Italian cancelling their evening.

It wasn't the brunette's fault since her cancellation was work related but Maura didn't manage to be okay with it. Not after the day of uncertainty she had spent; not after the night they had shared. She didn't want to wait, didn't want to play around in circles in the hope that Jane would reassure her.

She didn't even know why the detective had asked her whether she could come in the first place. It was all too blurry, too precarious. If their absence of words the night before had seemed perfect, it was completely different, today. She needed an explanation. They both needed it.

In a gesture of anger, she let go of the eggs that crashed on the floor right by her feet. She rolled her eyes, pursed her lips.

"Oh... Maura, honey... You're here. Perfect. Do I interrupt you or something?" Angela stormed in as the scientist squatted to clean the mess. She looked down at the floor; frowning.

"Not really, no. What can I do for you?" The honey blonde politely smiled at her guest before her features deepened suddenly as a veil of panic seemed to spread on her face. "Please don't tell me there is a heating issue in the guest house. The temperatures are going to decrease drastically tonight."

The matriarch shook her head vehementely and grabbed two mugs to pour in them some coffee.

"No, not at all. Everything is perfect, out there. However, it is a bit chilly here. Why don't you put the fireplace on?"

Maura looked at the living-room and shrugged. It hadn't even crossed her mind while she loved the crackling of the flames; the smell of the wood. She had been too focused on the plumber's visit and Jane. Mostly Jane, though.

"I am going to do it right now, you are right. I had an issue with the central heating, that's why it is a bit cold right now." She walked to the fireplace and knelt down in front of it.

"Nice!" Mugs in hands, Angela joined her in the living-room. "I stopped by to talk about something important." The woman wrinkled her noise – as if hesitating – then sighed. "I need to know something about you." She cleared her voice. "About you and Jane."

Maura let go of the log she was holding. The piece of wood rolled loudly on the floor. She blushed and went to pick it up immediately then turned her back at Angela pretending to focus on the fire instead.

"What... What do you want to know?" Her stuttering betrayed her latent panic.

"It's related to Christmas. In theory, it's more about Jane than you. And yet... You're included too, as always. I just need your advice. You know my daughter way better than I do, now." Angela lowered her tone. "To an extent, at least."

Maura bit her lower lip and thought about Angela's statement. There was nothing less sure than this.