Chapter 13: Memories and Flying

Notes: Hello lovelies and welcome to chapter 13! :( so I might not be able to post next week, I might be out of town I am not sure yet~ anyways WARNINGS: There is child abuse and rape in the dream portion please if you are trigged skip it! Also to answer some question no Harry doesn't remember everything that has taken place at the Dursley's to clear somethings up. that is enough from me on to the chapter!

~Dream~

The world was an inky black abyss, his body was on fire and his lungs burned with each rasping breath he took. Harry had just had another beating from his Uncle for burning the food, and made him late for a meeting with an import customer and deserved such a punishment. Then, once his pig of an uncle left, his Aunt gave him the never ending list of chores; ones that was to be done before his uncle returned, or once again Harry would find himself for another beating.

The day was a long hot summer day, it was around Harry's 8th birthday and Harry was ordered to work in the garden that day. The mugginess of the day made it even harder for his lungs to work, but Harry just pushed that aside to work on the garden. That was when he heard whispering about how this place didn't have enough rats. Harry was confused and pushed aside a flower to spy a small snake coiled around himself to get out of the afternoon sun. Harry titled his head in question, no there was no way that the snake could speak, not at all.

The snake reared its head up when he noticed Harry watching him, "Ssssstupid human, interrupting my nap!" The snake hissed at Harry. Harry fell back in shock, the snake spoke to him, and there was no way for that to happen!

"I-I'm s-s-sorry!" Harry said to the snake, but had no idea why he said it. There was no way for the snake to understand him, let alone for him to understand the snake. If the snake could sigh it would have. "It's fine hatchling, I'm sorry that I startled you." The snake said, now coming out from the garden and slithered over to the startled young boy. Harry was gulping in breaths, this couldn't be happening, if his aunt or cousin see the snake, let alone him talking to it, he would be in big trouble. It was something freaky, something he wasn't supposed to do.

"I-I-I'm sorry, b-b-but you can't stay here, the people here do not like snakes." The boy stuttered out, nervous that at any moment his aunt or cousin would walk out and see the snake.

"Don't worry hatchling, I was leaving, there are no mice here for me to eat." The snake said, his tongue flickering out towards the boy. The boy calmed down some, happy to hear that the snake was leaving, he couldn't help but think what would happen to it if his Aunt found it. A shudder made its way through his body at the thought, the snake was nice enough.

"T-Thank you," Harry sighed a breath later, "T-There is empty lot a few houses down, t-there should be plenty of mice there." The boy said in a whisper, his eye flickering towards the house to make sure that his aunt wasn't looking through the window, like she sometimes did when Harry was slaving away underneath the sun.

"Thank you young one, I think I will go down there to look," The snake said, lowering his body to the ground to slithering away to his new home, "Come visit me when you can hatchling, so I can thank you for my full belly." Harry let out an airy chuckle at the snake, happy that he could get away from this prison. At least one of them can.

It was well after the sun set when his Uncle showed back up at home, he already been drinking, everyone could smell the pungent alcohol when he entered the house. Harry was already fearing, knowing that his Uncle was in a bad mood, his Uncle rarely drank before coming home, but when he did those were the worst. His aunt tried to make everything better for him telling him that dinner was ready, and how lovely of a day it has been. His Uncle of course wasn't hearing it, his deal went down the drain the morning Harry ruined his breakfast and made him late. His clients weren't all too happy with him, and by the end of the day they had decided to forgo the plan. It had been a big deal too, could have brought in a lot of money for him and his family, but the little freak had to go a ruin it!

"Ohh daddy!" Dudley said, bringing the drunk man's attention on to him, "The freak was doing something freaky!" Harry face pealed and his whole entire body started to shake, 'no no no, please no.' he thought pleadingly. His Uncle's face went ridged, he was already in for a bad beating, and he didn't need anyone to add on to it. "He was talking to a snake in the garden father! Hissing like the snake and him where holding a conversation! And then the snake just went off!" Dudley said, knowing that he always had to report to his father whenever Harry did something freaky.

"Dear, do you think you and Dudley could take a walk?" The man said his voice nice and even as could be, but his eyes told a different story. There was a storm of rage building up behind them, his face growing redder with each passing second. In his drunk state he hardly understood what he was going to do, but he knew the freak needed to be taught a lesson. His aunt and cousin quickly left the house in a hurry, leaving poor Harry alone with his enraged uncle.

"I-I-I'm sorry Uncle," Harry tried to plead with the man, hunching down on to himself as if to make himself disappear from the man's view. His uncle took the swig of his hard liquor from his glass before setting his gaze upon Harry.

"We have taken you into our home, fed you, clothed you, cared for you, and all we ask in return is for you to act normal. Then to do this?" His uncle was now standing, stalking his way over to young Harry. He grabbed the young boy by the throat and dragged him the leaving room, and procced to beat him using both his fists and his feet. One thing was different this time, instead of depositing his body into his cupboard when he was done, he started to undress him. Harry now lay on the carpet naked, his scars, bruises, and cuts completely shown to his uncle. It was then Harry heard the jostling of his uncle's belt, and then the rush of clothing fall to the floor. Harry didn't know what he was doing, but he was afraid.

It was his uncle's first time by punishing him this way, he grabbed the younger male's hips and forced him onto his knees. He didn't have time to plea for him to stop, when he felt a sudden intrusion into his person. Harry let out a strangled cry, pain erupting down his spine. "No, no, no stop please!" Harry begged, tears rolling down his face. The pain was too much he couldn't take it anymore. The world was funneling around him as his uncle did as he pleased.

Harry gasped awake curled up into himself, and whimpering of pain could be heard from his throat. No more no more, please no more! Harry was still trapped in his mind, in his past where his uncle was using his body. He couldn't stop it he couldn't do anything. He was frozen in fear, he knew deep down he was safe from the monster, saved by Severus never to endure such pain again, but he was trapped still in the memories. Pain echoed through his bones at the memory of the first time his uncle did such a thing to him; to Harry that was the worst he had ever received.

It took a while for him to hear the soft voice above him, cooing at him to calm down telling him that he was safe. His exhausted body sagged in refile his ragged, his heavy eye lids forced open. First he saw a pair of mercury pair of eyes staring at him with such concern, but the softness of his voice never wavered. Next he saw Severus standing just at the foot of his bed, dressed in his nightwear, fear written on his face.

"I-I-I'm sorry." Harry whimpered, he voice scratchy from the screaming he has done. He looked around the room to see the dorm had been cleared out, he felt tears cascading down his face. He didn't mean to be a burden on everyone, now everyone was going to hate him.

"Shh Harry, look at me, it's okay." Draco's soft voice was right by his ear, as the blonde hair boy pulled him into his lap, rocking him slowly back and forth. "It's okay they aren't upset, just concerned, shhh." Harry just gripped the boy's shirt tighter.

"I'm sorry," He kept mumbling, over and over, till he could speak no more. He was exhausted, his body felt so heavy. Draco tried to move Harry a bit from his shirt, but Harry wouldn't budge.

"Harry can you look at me?" Draco asked the younger boy, very scared for him. It took a few moments before Harry's green eyes met his grey eyes. "We need to go to Professor Snape's chambers where he will give you a potion for tonight. Will that be okay?" Harry thought for a moment and nodded.

"Do you think you could walk?" Draco asked gently, and shake of Harry's head was to answer. "Do you think Severus could carry you?" Draco asked remaining gentle but still keeping eye contact with the dark haired wizard. This question took longer for him to answer, very weary of the older man in this state, but at the same time trusting him. A very small nod came from Harry. Draco looked over at the professor as he made his way around the bed to the younger wizard quickly lifting him from the other's arms. It was a brisk walk back to his quarters after telling the first year boys to head back to bed, with Draco right on his heels. He laid Harry upon the guest bed in his chambers and went in search for the Dreamless Sleep potion he had on hand. After administering the small dose to Harry, he left the two younger wizards alone. Draco keeping an eye on Harry, watched as the others eye lids dropped lower and lower with each blink before succumbing to the potion. He pulled Harry close to his person, fearing that if he let go those monsters would come back to sweep him away, and eventually fell asleep as well.

Severus, on the other hand, was plotting the downfall of those muggles. When Severus entered the room following Nott, he had seen Harry whimpering and screaming for the pain to stop. For no more to happen, but when he tried to reach out to help him, the younger's magic reacted and pushed him away. Severus was fuming at what those muggles could have done to the boy, to get him in such a state. That night was a restless night for Severus, and a long one of him sitting in front of the fire figuring out what to do next.

The next morning, when Harry woke, the first thing he was aware of was the arms around his person and the second was that he had his head tucked underneath someone's chin. Harry slowly shifted and pulled back, and saw that he and Draco were sharing a bed, and seemed to be somewhere that wasn't the dorms. The shifting of the smaller boy woke Draco, his grey opening to meet his own green. Harry's face grew hot at the sight, he was embarrassed at sharing the bed, then suddenly the memories from last night flooded back and his mind shut down. Draco noticed the sudden change in his friend mood, he looked on with a distant look and his body went ridged.

"I-I-I'm sorry," Harry said with a sniffle, "I-I-I d-didn't mean for what happened last night to happen." Tears now flowing down his face, he was such a disappointment. It didn't help that he couldn't recall the dreams that plagued him last night; they had been locked once again in his mind.

"Harry," Draco said, taking Harry's chin and lifting it back up to look eye to eye with him, "It isn't your fault, there is no need to worry. What happened last night is not something anyone can control, but Severus and I are here for you. Do you want to talk about it?" Draco asked, knowing sometimes it's better to talk to someone about things, and he wanted to be that person for Harry. If not, he knew Severus would go find a sort of healer for him.

"I-I-I can't," Harry whined softly, his nose running from crying. "P-P-Please don't make me! I-I-I'm sorry, b-but I don't want to remember."

Draco frowned, but didn't push his friend anymore, knowing if he tried it would cause negative results.

"Its fine Harry, I won't push you, you're safe, you can talk in your own time," Draco promised, trying to sooth his distraught friend. "Come on, let's get dressed and talk with Severus." Harry just nodded and followed Draco's instructions.

Harry did want to tell his friend of what happened, but he couldn't not yet it was too soon. The memories too fresh for him, he knew one day he would tell everyone what had happen at his relatives, but today was not the day. It was a few minutes later when they finished getting ready for the day, walking out of the room, and entered into the main part of Severus quarters. There was the man sitting at the small kitchen table, sipping on a cup of coffee, he looked up upon the boys entrance.

"Good morning Draco, Harry. How are you this morning?" Severus asked, looking at the dark haired wizard. Harry just shrugged, not really in the talking mood anymore. Severus was very concerned, knowing this was a setback in Harry's recovery. He just hoped that as the day progressed that he would come back out of his shell.

Hissing pulled Harry's attention from Severus, as the giant snake slithered over to the young boy coiling around him. Harry just slowly ran his hand down the snake's large body, not looking at either Draco or Severus, locking away everything. While he stared at the snake, he realized that Levi wasn't the first snake he had ever talked to, that his regressed memory had made him forget. He was more than happy to lock away the memory and forget again.

"Harry, if you don't want to, you don't have to go to classes today." Harry's head jerked up at what Snape just said and he began shaking his head, no he would go to class! He would be a good student! Fear seeping in that he has done something wrong. "Harry it's okay, I'm just saying this because it seemed like you didn't get that much sleep last night. If you really feel up for going to class then I will not force you not to go." Severus said frowning.

Harry just nodded looking back down to the ground. Severus sighed, knowing that he wouldn't get the boy to talk about last night at the moment. "Alright Harry, after dinner tonight I would like if you would come down to my rooms so that we can talk about it." Harry just nodded once again, not really saying anything. Severus dismissed both boys after getting Harry to eat some breakfast and his potion. Severus was deeply concerned for him, and decided that it was time to write his friend about action that needed to be made.

The day went in a blur to Harry, until the fun class started up, flying. Harry had been looking forward to this all week, and happy that he was still able to do the class.

"Harry, are you ready for flying?" Draco asked giving his friend a small smile, Harry gave him one back and nodded. Draco was still worried about his friend, he hadn't talked at all today, seeming to lock his words away from everyone. "That's good, it's going to be fun!" Trying to bring some life back into his friend, the small smile he just got was something to go by.

When they reached the field, some Gryffindors were already there, lining up at the brooms on one side so the Slytherin took the other. It was just a few more moments before Madam Hooch showed up, instructing them to place their hand over the broom and say "Up". Harry just stared at his broom mouth opening and closing the single word not able to come out. Oh how he had waited the whole week for this day and he was unable to use words; he fought back emotions.

"U-Up" He said meekly, somehow managing to make the weak word, to his own surprise. The broom gave a little jolt up, but not fully leaping into his hand. Draco, beside him, gave a loud and clear "Up" and the broom flew into his hand. Harry swallowed hard the lump in his throat.

"U-Up." Harry said this time a little louder, causing Draco to look over at him smiling. Hearing his friend's voice for the first time since this morning was something to celebrate. The rest of the class went well for the most part, the only issue was when Neville's broom tried to take off with him, but he had a loose grip as it was and slid of the back of the broom when it rocketed off.

Harry was smiling the whole time loving the way flying felt, so free. He felt like he could do anything up in the air, and nothing could stop him. When he landed back on the ground, he felt a lot lighter then when the day started. He felt like the lines where cut away from him, leaving him free from everything. He looked at Draco, giving him a smile, one Draco returned. All that was left was to assure Severus that he was alright now, that there was nothing for him to worry about.

Harry entered the Potion Master's quarters once again that day. Harry was unsure of what he was going to tell the raven haired wizard. He knew that he had worried him all day, but nothing he was going to say would help the older man truly understand. Severus was sitting in the living room once again looking into the fire, also thinking of how to tell Harry the news. Harry sat upon the couch since Severus was sitting in the chair. Harry was fidgeting and chewing on his lip.

"I-I'm sorry sir, f-for worrying you so much." Harry spoke first, feeling that is what he needed to say. Severus smiled at the younger wizard, happy that Harry was back to talking once again.

"It is fine Harry, as long as you are back to talking. It gave me a fright when you weren't talking." Severus said, concern written on his face.

"I-It was because I was scared that I messed up," Harry answered truthfully, bringing his eyes to meet Severus.

"No, you didn't, it was to be expected. Draco and I are here if you ever want to talk about you went through, or if you don't want to talk to us, then I can get a mind healer for you to talk to."

"I-I'm not ready yet sir, i-it's too soon." Harry mumbled the last part, back to chewing his raw bottom lip once again. Severus took his thumb and pulled his lip away from his teeth.

"I understand Harry, do not be afraid to approach us when you are ready to talk to someone please. We are here to help you as much as you will allow us." Severus explained. "There is one more thing that I would like to ask you." Harry looked back up at Severus, as he pulled his hand away from his lip. "How would you feel if someone else took custody over you?" Harry eyes widened and his breath hitched.

"Y-You mean, that I would never have to go back to them?" Harry's voice filled with hope, Severus nodded his lips twitching, "B-But who?"

"What if I did?" Severus asked, watching Harry's face to see if this was what the boy really wanted. Harry's green eyes where wide as possible and was a moment before he flung his arms around the other dark haired wizard, tears flowing down his face, "D-Do you mean that?" He asked, his voice husky with emotion.

"I do Harry, I would never kid about this." All Harry could do was nod at the older wizard for a few moments.

"I-I would love that sir, I really would." Harry finally managed to say, as he sniffled into the older man's shirt.

Severus just wrapped his own arms around the shaking frame of the child smiling. "Alright Harry, alright. I'll do everything I can to make sure this comes true." Severus was grateful that he could help this child, not because it was Lily's son, but because he has fallen for the green eye boy, and thought of him as his own son. It just took him awhile to realize this; but this was something he would not pass up.