Chapter 12

The Mannheim Show was on a Friday and on that particular Friday I had a shitty day it work. It was so stressful that I went to bed without really thinking about Jon being in Germany or anything. I was asleep in mere minutes I was so exhausted.

I woke up from a weird dream about bells. Don't ask me. I looked at the clock and it was 2 am. What the fuck? Bells? There it was again and clearly not a dream. It was my bell at home. At two in the morning. What the fuck? I lived in this big old house alone so I grabbed my baseball bat beside the bed and went to peek out to the front door which had little windows in it. And outside there was a porch light which illuminated every visitor in the dark.

What I saw made my knees weak. "Oh God." I had to actually grab the door frame and couldn't move for a long time. By now the visitor had spotted me through the little windows and stopped ringing the bell every ten seconds. He waited patiently, never letting me out of his sight.

I went to the door and opened it. "What are you doing here?" My voice was weak and again I had to support myself.

"Not loving me anymore, huh? You are a fucking mess Sam. Look at you? How many pounds have you lost? Where are your curves? You look utterly miserable, just like I feel. I drove three hours to get to you. It's two in the morning and I will not leave before you admit that what you told me 4 month ago was bullshit. I want you to tell me that you did break up with me because you were scared. Because you think you are not good enough. Because you think you are just fucking ordinary. Because you have the fucking idea in your mind that you hold me back when all you do is push me forward. That you weigh me down when all you do is keep me grounded. You probably think you don't fit into my VIP lifestyle living. Well, I still buy t shirts at truck stops or wear company gear. Am I right so far?"

"Jon." I was really on the verge of breaking down and he pushed the door open and caught me in his arms. He closed the door behind him with his foot and stood there holding me up.

He must have spent his time pushing weights because his arms were huge now and his chest much harder then I remembered. His hair was shorter at the sides and longer on top. But he still smelled like Jon. My Jon. And he was here. At my house. OMG. I was thankful that he held me upright and I replayed what he had just told me. Did I break up with him because I was scared? Hell yeah. Scared to make the commitment, scared about my own intense feelings for this guy. Did I think I was not good enough for him? Hell yeah. He was on the rise to the top, I could never ever picture me by his side during this journey. Because yes, I am fucking ordinary. I grew up in a very normal family, grounded and never ever was I one looking for fame. He was a celebrity now and I was not bred for a VIP lifestyle. So he was right with every accusation.

"You're right." I whispered finally because lying to him would be useless.

He grabbed my face in his hands and looked me in the eyes. "Look at me Sam and listen really carefully. I come from nothing. I don't know who my father is and my mother was a stupid bitch. I lived on the streets one winter in Cincinnati. That's why I hate the cold. I ran with the wrong crowd and was just a lucky asshole to never get caught. The nights I spent at home, I spent on the fire escape with a little stolen TV watching wrestling. That was my escape. My home was a piece of shit and I haven't seen my mom since I was 18. I don't wanna see her ever again. I come from nothing. Everything I have now I build with my own hands. I don't need a high maintenance chick. I don't need a bimbo. I want someone real, someone who sees me, sees especially all the dark in me and keeps that at bay. You saw me at my worst Samantha and you made me turn around and change when I was on the best way to become a drunk like my mother throwing away my dream. That was over 2 years ago. You made me better everyday since then. Because you get me. And you get what I need. You ground me. And that is more than anyone ever did. You care shit about Jon Moxley or Dean Ambrose and that is exactly what I am looking for. You care about Jonathan Good and you helped him make his dream come true. And I will be damned if I let you slip through my fingers. I need you Sam, I will beg, I will crawl on my knees, but I won't leave before you give us another chance. It is pretty shitty and I hate to put so much weight on your shoulders, but I need you in my life to keep me sane. You hold my strings, Sam, please give us another chance. You don't hold me down Sammy, you make me fly and reach the stars." He was gasping for air but in this probably most important promo of his whole life he never looked away from my eyes and his hands had never left my face.

Tears were running down my cheeks.

"But why me?" I asked again. "I am nothing."

"Did you just listen to me? You are the world to me Sam. I was scared to cross the line from friendship to lovers with you for so long Sam. Because of exactly the thing that happened. You left me, and you left our friendship behind as well. And I need you in my life. I was furious for giving in to my feelings. But at one point I simply couldn't live another day without having everything of you. I tried to tell you that I am not perfect. I am a son of a bitch but you make me better. I don't look for perfect because what makes you different makes you beautiful to me. And I see you as clearly as you see me. You are it for me Sam. Sorry it's not one of the hot, sane guys, but plain old, lunatic fringe me you will have to spent the rest of your life with."

That made me laugh. "You are hot." I said and that's when he kissed me with such urgency that I was breathless. "Bedroom?" he asked pulled me up with ease. I told him the way to my bedroom and he was on me and in me in a mere minute.