Chapter 38: Happily Ever After?
Author's Note!
Thank you for bearing with me! I squeezed this one out in between my exams :) so my study is suffering. But hope this was worth the wait.
"AHHHHH!" I squirmed, riding out the wave of pleasure. The familiar feel of my insides clenching made my eyes roll back into my head.
Christian let out a satisfied grunt that sounded more of arrogance than anything else. I felt his fingers graze my tout nipple gently and he breathed over it.
It was all I could do to whack his hand away. "WE'RE NOT DONE YET?!"
He chuckled and pressed his lips in the valley between my hills. "Anything the problem, Ms Steele?"
The sexual desire in me blossomed once more but it was fought off by my fatigue. "I don't think my body can take anymore after that eight rounds of conquests you did."
Christian pulled me into his chest, pressing my head against his comfortable pads. He kissed the top of my head, "I was aiming for ten."
"WHAT?!" I screeched.
My inner goddess lifted her newspaper. The headlines read : Death by sex.
Christian let loose a loud and boisterous carefree laughter, "If you had behaved, maybe I would have let you off after three."
Of course, Christian was still harping on it. I had accidentally taunted Christian with Tosh after the first three rounds. Apparently, it was not remotely funny to Mr. Jealous here. "But I was just playing around wi-"
"Don't even say his name, Steele." He silenced me, a fire so dark within his voice that I conceded. "Especially not after I've taken you eight times."
I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, "You can take me twice more."
As mercurial as he was, Christian laughed once more and stroked my naked back ever so seductively. A thrilling sensation followed. "Next time." There was a promise made not just to me but to himself too. "That's why I want your stamina levels up. Look at you after mere eight rounds."
"Maybe you should let me back with Claude!" I said sourly, he had turned down my request many times already.
I saw his smile vanish. "No."
I hated ruining his joyous mood."Fine, why don't you box with me?"
Just as expected, his teeth came to view and he sounded intensely amused. "You want to fight with me?"
The memory of how I had spoiled my nose in the first place came to mind. Christian seemed to be an excellent motivator for my inner angst, so why not have the real thing? "I could take you."
"I'd like to see you try. I've taken you eight times in the past hour." Christian played on the word and his body shook with his laughter.
Reaching, I grabbed his buttock and was rewarded with a gasp. It was smooth and firm. "Bad boy." I cautioned him, batting my eyelids as he looked at me.
The resounding growl was feral and hungry. "Ms Steele... I have never been harassed in such an obscene manner."
It was my turn to laugh. "You've never had your butt squeezed?"
"Nope." Christian pursed his lips and I bit my lip to resist kissing them. "You've taken another one of my firsts."
"See, I'm perfectly capable of taking you too." I gloated, kissing him on his chest. The hair on his chest was soft and I let myself linger a little longer.
Instead of tensing up, Christian relaxed. "Thank you for being okay with Leila, love."
Leila had been disillusioned into thinking she needed to remove me to keep Christian happy. All she needed was a hell lot of convincing and a passionate kiss between Christian and I for her to realize different."She loves you, so I understand."
"Ana, please stop saying that."
"But it's true."
"It makes me feel... Uncomfortable." He said, and I shifted so I could look at him properly. "Firstly, it reminds me how I... Broke her."
Subconsciously, my hand lifted and began stroking his arm, trying to soothe him. Christian sighed, "Secondly, I hate feeling like I owe her something... You both wanted the same thing and... I gave it to you."
That seemed to shake my insecurities once more. "You..." I swallowed. "Regret?"
"Hell no!" Christian retorted instantly and I heaved a sigh of relief.
I could imagine myself in Leila's position, shattered in all the core places. The love of my life turning down my request for 'more'. I had had a taste of that when Christian had...
"Don't, Ana." He scolded softly, eyes tightening. "It's in the past. I chose you."
"I bet she's got a stamina." My inner goddess and I said in unison, before I could close my mouth. The vomit of words made their way into Christian's mind and he narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm sorry." I whimpered, trying to reverse the damage.
Christian sighed and swung his legs off the bed. "Christian?" He ignored me, heading directly for the toilet. I sighed and my inner goddess clapped for my performance.
"I can't deny that I'm still sour and bitter about all the experience you have had." I whispered under my breath.
To my surprise, it did not pass Christian's sharp ears. "It's not something I'm proud of." He snapped from the toilet.
I sighed and leaned back into the bed. "What are you doing in there?"
At my question, Christian stepped out. He was freshened up and in his suit. "I'm going to work."
My eyebrows furrowed. "Now?" I leaned across the bed to grab his iPhone from the table. It was 7 in the evening.
Christian's hand came around his phone and he jerked it out of my grip. Coldly. "I'd rather work than fight with you."
"We're not fighting." I said softly, watching him browse through his emails. "I almost died today, Christian." I heard myself whisper even more quietly.
Christian sighed, the wall of angst seeming to give way as he remembered it. "Ana, I said I chose you. Can't we leave it as that?"
"I wasn't even planning to say what I did... It just came out."
His scorching grey eyes set me on fire and he clenched his jaw tightly. "I'd rather you say it out then to let those wretched thoughts eat you inside out."
That grabbed my attention and I readjusted myself to sit up. "But when I say it out you leave."
His eyes fluttered shut and he let out a stressed breath through his nose. "I'm not leaving. I'll just be in the office okay?"
"Why is work so important right now? We're having a conversation!" I blustered, hiding my entire body under the blanket.
He turned on his heel, "I'm overwhelmed right now, Ana. Give me some space."
"Space?" I squeaked. He never asked for space before.
Christian had one hand on the door knob, "Don't read too deeply into this. I love you."
As I watched him open the door to leave, I returned a simple, "I love you too."
Sitting in the bed alone, I wondered how many nights would turn out in this manner. I was curious to know how our married life would end up. Sincerely, I would always have that shred or insecurity about our sex life. I could never provide for him the way the others did even if I wanted to.
What if Christian really did need all that brutal sex? Something that I coincidentally could not provide him with. I fell short and I knew it.
My gaze fell upon my beautiful ring, glistening in all it's glory ever so proudly. Would I ever believe his words about Leila? Even after hearing her confirm what had happened, there would always be that doubt.
How many times would we fight over these little recurring things? My emotions were hard to settle and I was beginning to think they never will. Maybe we would be better off if...
My inner goddess raised her eyebrows. If what, Ana?
If we didn't marry. I swallowed the thought and closed my eyes. But Christian was my first love, the one man I had given myself to. That counted for something. I loved the man he was, CEO position included along with his wrangled childhood. Every inch of him was perfect. Except that last bit.
I would never be able to make him truly happy. I thought about Leila's words, her actions as well driven because she believed that too. I would only make him sad and I had to go. If Leila could see it that way... I sighed and tried to banish the thought.
My blackberry came to life, blinking from the bedside table. I reached for it and fortunately, found a message from Christian.
"Anastasia, I'm sorry if you feel insecure. I really want to give you the security you need."
My heart beat to his tune, melting at his words. It was so Christian to be sweet and accommodating when it came to me. Could I... Would I ever let this go? "I'm sorry I feel insecure too. Thank you. I love you."
While waiting for his reply, I went to my inbox and scrolled through all the waiting mail. There was a string from Jack Hyde, mostly about documents he needed me to edit and send for printing. I needed to get those done. Pulling on a silk robe, I took my blackberry to the table and opened my MacBook. I proceeded with checking my mail on the laptop.
Hyde. Hyde. Hyde.
I jumped as my phone rang and I glared at it. Hyde? No. It was an unknown number. One of those private ones where the number was hidden. I wondered who it was... Everybody I knew kept their numbers open. Maybe it was Elena. Christian had told me what he had done and it made sense for her to plead with me to change his mind.
Well, I was going to tell her what she could do with her apology. I accepted the call and pressed it against my ear. "Hello?"
There was a brief silence. Had the cat got Elena's tongue?
"Ms Steele." Came a deep russet voice.
In a way, it sounded familiar. I knew I had heard this voice somewhere... But where? "Who is this?"
"I'm sorry, ma'am." My mouth hung. Maybe this was Adidas from the bar! Christian was so going to kill me. "It's Welch."
"Welch?" I clarified. Christian's security guy?
"Yes, pardon me, Ms Steele. But the security team wants to congratulate you on the wedding and thank you for the invitation cards."
This was odd. Unusual even. "You received the cards?" I had only most recently added the security team to the guest list... The invitations were supposed to be sent yesterday. But I had not...
"Yes ma'am, Mr Grey distributed them last night."
That came as a surprise to me. My ever so distant husband, the one who never seemed to help in the planning of the wedding, had done something. My heart melted a little more. He did love me. He wanted this wedding just as much as I did.
"Ma'am," Welch retrieved my attention. "We, as the security team, know how much torment you have underwent over the latest... Issue."
"Issue?" Which? There were too many.
"Pardon me for bringing it up," Welch sounded uneasy. "The issue with Ms Leila and Mr Grey in the office."
"Ah, that issue." I could still feel the raw wound in me. Burning bright. So many questions unanswered with only Christian's words to trust.
"Yes ma'am, Christian initially wanted us to extract the CCTV footage for you to watch." That seemed like a brilliant idea! "But unfortunately, the issue occurred during a scheduled down time for the office cameras maintenance."
I sighed. If only I had something tangible to see... To validate Christian's words and put out my insecurities forever. Even though I trusted him, the inner me would never let this go... Especially not when he's had history with her.
"However," There was a smile on his voice. "Barney located a CCTV in the opposite office building that saw directly into Christian's office." A tinge of pride followed.
"Oh wow, that must've been one hell of a search!" I exclaimed, imagining the amount of camera footage and cameras they must have screened in order to find something as minute as that.
Welch chuckled, "Yes it was, but Barney's a good man. Well, we managed to sharpen the footage. Please direct your attention to your mailbox, I see you're currently using it."
I flushed. Christian's security team was certainly intrusive to such a large extent. But in this case, maybe it was for the better. Just as he said, the new mail pinged as it entered my inbox.
"It's our wedding present to yourself and Mr Grey." Welch said as my fingers hovered over the icon. "I'll... Go now, Ma'am. Give you some time alone."
I realized I had never had a conversation with Welch before. Nor Barney. "Thank you, Welch. Goodbye."
"It's our pleasure. Farewell, Ms Steele." He said and then the line clicked shut.
Taking a deep breath, I pressed the icon. Immediately, a video screen popped up. I was about to see for myself what had went down in that office on that fateful day. My inner goddess braced herself, turning pale at the realization that this would either make or break us.
If Christian had not been telling the truth...
Welch must have decided I was brooding long enough, because the video pressed play on its own. I watched wide-eyed as the time stamp stated that this portion of the video was the night before the fateful day. The night before? I gasped. Christian was with Leila then?!
Leila appeared on the screen, I could have missed her if not for the stillness of the frame. I watched as she let herself into Christian's office, then she made her way to his desk and sat on his chair. Once she did, the video was put on fast forward. The time sped forward and I observed as she shuffled between sleeping, flipping through his stuff and walking about.
Eventually, the light came through the windows and Leila concealed herself in the space between the two cupboards behind his desk. Even I could no longer see her. The time continued at its pace and there was minimal movement in the office, Andrea bringing in the papers. I wondered where Christian was.
The time stamp read 9AM. That was about the time he had dropped me off at work. As the time raced into 10.30, Andrea came in once more. This time, she set a cup of warm coffee along with a tray of snacks on Christian's table. I knew that my fiancé was about to make an appearance.
My heart sank as the truth drew closer. The main door opened once more and I stopped breathing. Christian was shaking hands with two aged men in slick tuxedos. They must be his business clients. He had a large smile on his face and waved Andrea to see them out. Still smiling to himself, I watched him text... Text me? Most probably. I remembered his little texts that day.
At about this time, I was already on my way over. Christian stepped into his office and closed the door behind him. Unbuttoning his jacket, he shrugged it off and hooked it on the waiting hanger. As carefree as he was, he stretched and walked towards his table and took a seat. My heart pounded noisily as Christian reached for his coffee. He dipped his biscotti into it and then bit into it.
I bit down on my lip as Leila emerged. Like a mouse, she took tiny foot steps. It was a terrifying thing to watch. Christian had no idea that she was behind him, he was her sitting duck. I tasted the metallic liquid as Leila put a hand on Christian's shoulder.
He jumped up and swiveled in his seat, thankfully, his coffee made it onto his table without any spillage. The anger flashed across his face as he realized who it was and Leila put both hands up in pleading. I could not hear anything they were saying but I could briefly make it out. Christian was furious. He pointed an accusatory finger at her and bore his teeth.
In response, Leila fell to her knees. I gasped as she began bowing to him, a step up from the sub position. Christian grimaced and tossed his head back into the head rest. His hands raked through his copper hair as he groaned in absolute frustration.
Where was I? At my thought, the door opened and I saw myself standing there with all my sushi. I observed the shock upon my face and then that judgment that I passed instantly. In this moment, I hated myself. I hated every inch of myself.
Without waiting for Christian to explain, I dropped the food and sped off. Christian, helpless and stunned, called after me. He leapt to his feet, casting Leila a mixed glare, them raced after me.
The tears came flowing down my cheeks as Welch freezer the frame. The mess on the floor was not the only mess I had created. I had jumped to such an obscene conclusion instead of trusting my fiancé. I hated myself. Covering my face with my eyes, I cried hard.
Christian had never cheated. He was right. But what was most important was the way I had handled it, being so willing to judge him and distrust him than I was to love him and give him a chance to explain. Had this always been this way?
I recalled Luke's words. I was the one who created these messes but I expected to be chased after, to be apologized to. Resentment for myself manifested in the bitterness I could now taste. Had I ever apologized to Christian for this?
My inner goddess was too appalled to even offer her commentary. She sat on her lounge couch with her eyes cast down, ashamed to be me.
Realization sprouted hard within me. There would be no progress if I did not change. Christian's love for me was there whether I embraced it or not. All I had to do was release all these tiny seeds of discord that I painfully sewed in our relationship. The distance I felt between us was the manifestation of my doings. It was all on me.
I suddenly wanted Christian in my arms. I wanted to kiss him and hug him and tell him I'm sorry. I desired to cradle my beautiful fiancé in my arms and caress his cheek, to pace my fingers with his. I would never let go.
Springing to my feet, I raced towards the office, thankful that he had not left home.
"Ms Steele?" Gail's voice radiated from the kitchen.
"Ana?" Luke followed, Taylor stunned in the wings.
There was no time. I had no time to stop and explain. Without knocking, I pushed open the mahogany doors and let myself into the grand office. Christian's eyes widened as I entered. He was sitting at his desk tapping away on his MacBook.
"Christian." I hissed, husky and longing for him.
Before he could react, I straddled his thighs and cradled his jaw between my palms. "I'm sorry baby." I told him, crushing my lips to his. I felt his hands snake around my waist. "I'm sorry." I whispered against his lips, forcing them open as I needed to share his warmth.
Christian kissed me hastily, then his hands were tugging at my waist. Rejection spread through me and I stopped kissing him, falling back onto his thighs. I looked at him, panic rising in my system. Was I too late?
Christian's lips pulled up at a corner and he readjusted me so I was sitting sideways across his lap. My eyes never left his face, trying to measure his response. Was he rejecting me?
He pursed his lips, hiding his smirk. "Gentlemen, please excuse my fiancé, Ms Anastasia Steele." I followed his gaze to his MacBook.
The colour rose in my cheeks as I noticed the bright green light that confirmed his words. Christian pressed his lips against my cheek, bringing up the conference window. I almost had a heart attack.
On our screen now was twenty odd men around a long wooden conference table. They were all dressed in fine suits and handling the many papers before them, embarrassed smiles plastered upon their faces. I recognized the two aged men from the footage before.
"Anastasia, this is the board of directors of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc." Christian introduced us and I gave them a sheepish nod. "Gentlemen, I trust you have received your wedding invitations."
The circle of men gave us all nods, some of them even waving the purple envelope in the air for confirmation. That was the design Mrs Collins and I had come up with together!
"We'll see you then. Carry on." Christian said, shutting his laptop and winking at me. He gazed into my eyes, raw grey on my blue. A look so intense and immersed in pure love that it stole my breath from me. "Now, where were we?"
As Christian leaned into me, I felt absolute bliss.
He was my happily ever after.
Everything; Lighthouse
I won't give up; Jason Mraz
Everything; Michael Buble
Bleeding Love; Jesse McCartney
Down to Earth; Justin Bieber (Acoustic)
Payphone; Maroon 5
Jasmine; Jay Chou
By My Side; Tenth Avenue North
All About Us; He is We
Okay! This is the end of their chapter :) Thank you to all my readers who have painstakingly followed me all the way. Now you know why I was so resistant in revealing what really happened and Christian's POV earlier on.
Not to worry! For those of you who still want to read my stories... I'll be starting a new story with regards to the Greys! :) But not too soon. Drop any suggestions you have for the next story in the review box!
Thank you! Please Review :))