I bite into my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood before muttering, "It's not your fault, Sora. It's not your fault..."

I repeat this for hours, creating a mantra that gets stronger and stronger by the second. My throat burns from talking for so long, but I keep saying it, repeating it because it's the truth and I won't accept any other statement or tale.

The words mix and filter with the swarming snippets of conversation from the past before my neck flares, fresh pain from a long forgotten mark setting fire to my veins. I scream and kick and punch at nothing until I bump my head against the bed rest, forcing my body back into its routine of rest before the numbness sets in followed by exhaustion.

Not your fault...

Don't Be a Gentleman: Unexpected Chance

I get up, cold to the bone, and stare at myself in the mirror. It's been two weeks since the incident but it feels so much longer.

I've tried calling Riku many times but he never responds. I knew better than to call Sora, but his silence just made things worse.

I think what really set me under was the sixth day, the day my dad finally let me have visitors.

I was sitting on the couch staring at our TV when she sat next to me, quietly humming. Eventually she turned her head towards me, eyes solemn. "Kairi...please say something."

I shrugged. "What is there to say? I'm on probation."

"No. You've been hurt...and now your dad is protecting you," Selphie said before placing a hand on my shoulder. "Sora and Riku are too. They told me to leave you alone for a few days. We sort of...got into a little disagreement over that. But...now that I see you I understand why."

I blinked and stared at her. Even my best friend could tell that I was broken. "What did they say?" I croaked, not used to speaking.

Selphie leaned her head down, shifting her eyes warily as if she were letting out a big secret. "They told me that you were...going through a hard time. They said you had changed and that it would be a while before you would be ready to talk like normal. They said it had something to do with why you disappeared a few years ago."

I swallowed. It had been my decision to keep the truth from Selphie about the whole heartless attack and whatnot. I regretted barring her off at that moment...becuase I really wasn't in the mood to explain. "Everything is fine, Selph. Don't worry about it..."

"I can't do that. Not now." She hugged me and I accepted it. Then I started crying.

Now, days later in front of the mirror my eyes are too dry to produce any tears. I blink instead and tilt my head, glaring at the purple bruise on my neck.

It's not going away. Shouldn't it be lighter? Bruises heal, right?

I touch my neck, rubbing the sensitive skin. The pain comes almost immediately afterwards and I have to bite down hard on my tongue to keep myself from screaming. I let my hand drop before staring warily at the phone.

It sits there idly on my desk, as if it were mocking me with all the unanswered calls and text messages. I glare at it some more then angrily grab for it, punching the numbers.

The stupid touchscreen is too slow for my liking, taking one too many seconds to pick up the dial. Finally, a low ringing sound buzzes through its tiny speakers and I wait, breathing heavily.

Suddenly, I hear his voice. "Hello, this is Sora-"

"SORA!" I can't stop the smile that spreads on my face, and it hurts. I haven't done it in a while. "I'm so happy to hear you."

"-can't answer the phone at the moment. Please, leave a message, and I'll do my best to get back to you. That's a promise!" The message ends and all I can hear is the rejection stabbing me in the form of a ringing tone.

I stare at the phone for a few seconds, listening. Then I throw it as hard as I can. It slams into the wall, shattering into two pieces as if a knife had sliced right into it. Sparks fall from the stupid scraps of metal before it crashes on the floor.

I scowl at my broken phone and stomp on it.

The next few days are a blur. All I can remember is eating, drinking, and sleeping. Lot's of sleeping.

I didn't speak or talk at all because there was nothing to talk about. My parents were as quiet as the dust under my bed, moving through the wind in vague motions around me as I took my pills. They always commented me, telling me that I was getting better, that more color was coming to my skin, that I was still their beautiful daughter.

Everything was going to be fine, they would say. We love you and everything is going to be fine.

They never mentioned Sora or Riku, they never talked about the darkness or night in general.

And they definitely never mentioned the purple scar on my neck. This week something has to change. I can't do this anymore. "I'm going out," I say with conviction, staring at my parents from the other side of the table. I'm sick of seeing my pale skin, sick of looking at the mirror and hating myself.

My dad swallows, still looking at his food. "You're not ready, sweetie. You have to give your body a chance to recover."

"I'm fine," I say before stuffing my mouth with teriyaki chicken. It's my favorite meal and my most powerful craving. It doesn't really register in my mind though, I could barely taste the stuff.

"Honey, I think you should wait." My mom is smiling, but her eyes look wary. Not now, they say, not when everything is turning around.

I wipe my mouth and push my food away. "I want to go outside. I want to feel the sun. I. Want. To. Do. Something." I have to work hard not to shout, not that my throat can handle it anyway. It can barely stand me talking.

Dad finally looks at me, eyes as hard as stone, the opposite of my mother's. "Kairi, finish your food."

"...I'm not hungry."

Silence. Then he suddenly sighs, dropping his fork. "Are we really going to have this discussion now?"

I growl. "Yes, we're having it. If that's the only thing that will change this...then it has to be done." I cross my arms over my chest, turning my head, fully exposing the messed up side of my neck.

My dad glares and wipes his hands with the napkin, angrily wringing his fingers as if he were getting ready to punch something. My mom just looks scared.

I decide to get the ball rolling. "You blame Sora for this, don't you?"

"No."

"Sora is my best friend. More than that, he's the one I love the most and I-" I cut myself off, swallowing hard as I think over what he just said. "Wait...what?"

"I don't blame Sora." He repeats it lightly, then starts eating again as if we had talked about the weather. I can barely stop myself from spitting in shock. It wasn't what I expected, it wasn't what I had prepared for since this morning.

"Dad...you really...don't..." I hesitate, looking back at my plate. "I...I don't understand."

"It's pretty simple, Kairi. Think about it," He points to me with the fork and I flinch. "Let's say you're a mother. Try to imagine it for a second. Your kid disappears for hours, it's extremely late at night. You're about to call the cops...and then some beat up boy brings your pale kid back, covering a bloody hole that continues to spill before your eyes."

I grimace. "I looked that bad?"

"You were dead, Kairi. Your heart stopped for about five minutes before we could get you into the emergency room. You're lucky to be alive."

I look down then, ashamed. Sometimes, it's easy to convince yourself that you're invincible, that you can handle whatever the world throws your way. But it only takes one reminder, one person's words, one event to change that for the rest of your life. Mortality is a fragile thing. "I...I see."

"Sure you do. Look, I'm not going to pretend like I understand everything that's going on between you kids, but whatever this darkness thing is...it already took you from us once. I'm not losing my daughter again." He closes his eyes. "As for Sora, he confessed. I know that he's a good boy, I've known him ever since we moved to this damn place. You think I can't tell when he's lying?"

"...no." I start trembling.

"Listen, he's a good kid, an honest kid. So if he's not telling the truth how about you tell me, since you obviously know more than I do about this Keyblade crap." He sits there, almost glaring at me.

I look down then and sniff. The silence rules over us completely, destroying the somewhat peaceful atmosphere we had contained since I returned home. After five minutes of tense breathing and fidgeting on my part, a sigh destroys the barrier. "Kairi...I'm not telling you to not see him. You can leave if you want."

I sit up straight, rolling my head back up fast to the point where my neck protests. "Wha?"

"You can see your friends." He coughs before looking away. "I've seen how they treat you and how they acted while you were in the hospital. I know you're in good hands, you guys share a special bond that most people never find in a lifetime. It is rare that you see young people this devoted to protecting one another...and I'm not going to destroy that. All I ask is for an explanation...and if you need your friends for support then I'm willing to accommodate."

I give him a small smile, hating myself inwardly as tears fall from my cheeks. "Really? I can...go?"

"Well, you're not grounded, are ya?" He raises an eyebrow at me.

I frown. "But I thought I couldn't see anyone."

"I never said that, I just didn't want them coming over here bombarding you. Can you blame me? Do you think I was ready to see the potential killer in my house?"

"So...I could have gone out at any time?" I try to work my head around the seemingly forbidden concept but all I get in return is a headache.

"Well, you never asked." This remark earns my dad a slight elbow in the ribs from my mom. He smirks and sighs, rubbing his side. "Alright, it was mainly your mother's idea. You might as well leave now before I change my mind. Oh, and bring your phone."

I blush and bring a hand up to my neck. "Ah...about that. I sort of...broke it?" I didn't even finish before a petite, black object flys through the air. I catch it deftly, examining the payphone with wide eyes. "Whoa!"

"Yeah, it's coming out of your allowance." He smiles bitterly at me and this time I return it, albeit nervously. "Well, don't look at me. Go rekindle your friendship and bring more light to the world...or whatever you kids do with those damn keys..."

Mom shakes her head before giving me a small smile. "Just be here by seven, alright? Not a minute later."

I nod and instantly run, opening the front door with trembling fingers. The rush of sunlight is amazing on my skin and I take it all in, basking in the feeling of it while spinning lightly. Then I take in a deep breath and head towards his house.

Sora...I'm finally coming.

And...it really is a new year! I hope the first month has gone well for everyone so far.

Thank you everyone for reading.