Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews.

December, 23rd:

9.45am

"It was a verbal mishap!" Frustrated, Jane rolled her eyes – leaned her head backwards – and let a heavy sigh pass her lips; the kind of one that she would regret for it sounding too dramatic.

The worst of all was that she had forgotten to the way their argument had started. All she knew was that Maura had showed up in the break room – passed her arms around her waist tenderly – and the rest belonged now to History. A whispered one, though. She didn't want her colleagues to overhear the slightest thing. The medical examiner had closed the door when sneaking in but still, it was just an incredibly tiny piece of wood that separated them from the rest of the BPD.

"So what? We aren't a couple? You said it yesterday. You said it last night. What are you afraid of – Jane – that you clutch so much to the idea of not saying it to anyone?" Maura's eyes had widened, not in fear but in incomprehension.

The Italian looked down and bit her lips. What had happened that – all of a sudden – two seconds of a secret cuddling had turned into such crisis? She didn't get it. She hadn't seen it coming. After all, it was just about being careful. For the moment. It wouldn't last.

"It's barely been a week, Maur'..."

She hadn't wanted her words to sound like a plea but this was exactly what had occured. She rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair; embarrassed at her best.

"Are you..." Maura laughed – bitterly – before twisting her hands nervously. She lowered her voice in spite of her anger still being clear enough. "Are you ashamed of it that you don't want to say it?"

The question was fair. Jane had to recognize it. And it hurt; it hurt a lot as the honey blonde's words hit the air with an obvious pain in her voice.

"No... It's just... It's too soon." The Italian looked down at her feet, not even satisfied of her own and rather coward explanation.

She didn't know what was going on. She didn't understand it. While she had embraced it all during their getaway in the mountain, something seemed to restrain her from fully enjoying it now. While in Boston. As if her daily references had suddenly turned into obstacles. She wasn't ready for it.

She couldn't say it; not openly.

"I see." Maura's shaking voice rose in the air. Her lips trembling, she looked aside and took a deep breath. She didn't want to cry. She had come in just to steal a kiss from Jane before going back to her office. And nothing else. But fate had seen things differently. "Come back to me when you are ready, then. I don't like hiding. I can't do that on the long term. I..." She shook her head. "Nope. It isn't something I agree with."

Uncertain of what she had just meant herself – a bit astounded – the scientist turned on her heels and left the room. She walked to the elevators slowly; too shocked. Yet unaware of people calling her name; asking her for an advice. As if lost in a bubble of confusion, she disappeared behind the metallic doors that took her down to the morgue where she rushed to her office and burst into tears.

Was it too much to ask to assume a relationship? Unless it was her fault and she had really pushed Jane to go for it, too early. But the brunette had seemed fine, these past few days; in the mountains and even when they had come back from it. Even the week before, she had showed signs of care – in public – so why was she making a step backwards now?

Perhaps Maura had overreacted but the pain in her heart had no limit.

...

5pm

"Alright, girls. We need to do something."

Book in hand, Amelia looked at Grace and frowned. She hadn't followed much the conversation but the last-minute solicitation had taken her out of her silence. She sat up; focused.

"What are you talking about?"

Grace rolled her eyes and pretended to snap her friend's head for her lack of logic and concentration that really didn't help what had gathered them there.

"Why Jane and Maura, of course! Look at them. They have argued. Last time we saw them here, it was all lovey dovey. Today, they look as thrilled as The Adams Family."

Amelia turned around and observed the two people concerned. Jane and Maura were busy with the youngest children of the center, nicely but not enthusiastically. Anyway, no need to be a genius to understand them. It was easy to read them like a book.

Amelia repressed a snort. She had rarely met more transparent people.

"We had kind of given up after the bouquets since they had got closer. Maybe we need to find some plan B if they have argued again. Gosh, they really are dumb. Can't they just realize how much time they're losing with this?" The teenage girl closed her books and turned finally towards the group. "It is now or never. After Christmas, their volunteering is over."

"I was thinking about chocolates." Leah – one of the adolescents – nodded with determination after having religiously listened to Amelia's words.

Grace pouted and crossed her arms against her chest.

"I don't know... We already sent the flowers. Now the chocolates? Isn't it a bit too... You know... Just a bit too cliché?" Yet she didn't have any idea whatsoever herself. "The only sure thing is we barely have twenty-four hours to do it. We have no time to lose."

"What are you doing?" Jane's hoarse voice made them jump on their seats, literally. The reaction – rather unexpected – made the detective laugh nervously. Hands in the pockets of her jeans, she bit her lips and raised her eyebrows at the girls. "I didn't know I was that scaring."

"We're just planning your future life. No big deal. Although it's definitely not easy."

For a few seconds, Jane stared at Amelia without saying a word; not too sure whether the teen girl were joking. She nonetheless decided so and finally burst out laughing; a bit too bitterly, though.

"Then make sure to not put too much stress into it, okay? I've had my dose of it for the next sixty years or so."

Grabbing a chair to sit at the adolescents' table, Jane smiled and cast a brief glance at Maura who was on the other side of the room.

They hadn't talked since their scene earlier in the morning. It was utterly stupid – Jane knew it – but she had nothing to say. Not a single word felt like passing her lips for the moment. The sensation of having ruined it all for a reason she could hardly understand was too strong. She felt guilty and yet her pride – her stupid pride – kept on telling her that she had her right in all of this.

It had barely been a week. They had all the time in their life to officially announce it.

"Are you ready for the Christmas show?" Time to focus back on the reason why she was here.

A bit reluctantly nonetheless, Jane looked up and forced a smile at the teenagers.

Amelia was playing with her book, her fingers tracing invisible patterns on the cover. Jane squinted her eyes to read the title. It was – again – a new novel. The girl was surely an avid reader.

"No and my mother's gonna kill me."

Jane frowned, taken aback by the comment.

"Your mother?"

Amelia's eyes landed on her with this typical self-confidence built on anger; years of frustration that would never really go away, no matter what. She shrugged and snorted.

"Just because I'm up for adoption doesn't mean I don't know who my mother is nor that I have zero contact with her." Realizing that she might have been a bit harsh, the adolescent raised her hands in the air in an apologetic gesture. "She's too young, doesn't have the money. Classic scheme. But we are in touch. Maura didn't tell you about it?"

It was a bit low but Amelia wanted to test Jane to see how bad both women really were with each other. Her not so innocent question got welcome by a sudden interest from the rest of the group as none of the girls had missed her intentions. Jane stiffened and swallowed hard before shaking her head.

"No... No, she hasn't told me about it." She paused and observed the way all these teenagers were studying her reaction. They weren't afraid but extremely curious. "It's not like we spend our time together 24h/day."

Grace snorted but stopped immediately as the detective's eyes landed on her. She shrugged and just sank on her chair a bit more as if she were wishing to disappear once and for all.

"Too bad. I'm sure she makes your life brighter."

The sentence resounded loud in Jane's head, its veracity sticking to her brain with an eloquence she had a hard time to face. It came from a person who was barely fifteen years old yet the maturity the girl had showed troubled the Italian.

So she remained quiet, her smile trembling before something – a delicate statement – that she couldn't but recognize as being her very own reality.

She just hadn't expected this.