Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews, and for not going wild against me.

December, 24th:

6pm

Maura plunged in her bath and remained still under the water, listening to her heartbeats; the silence of her house. She closed her eyes and bit her lips. The day had been long. Long and gray. She hadn't talked to Jane except for a couple of remarks regarding an old case.

The brunette hadn't seem to be – sadly enough – very eager to allude to the argument they had had the day before and now Maura felt nothing but remorseful. She had lacked patience, for no reason whatsoever. Just some selfish pulsion she regretted deeply.

Lacking air, she came back to the surface and took a deep breath. Drops of water were falling on her cheeks in a bitter symbol of invisible tears; the heat of her bath barely warming up her body.

Jane wouldn't come for Christmas Eve. She was working. If such schedule hadn't pleased Maura the week before, she now saw it as an extra chance to avoid a face-to-face she dreaded a lot. It might be a bit coward, the scientist still had to recognize that it was better like that.

They would see each other on the very next day, anyway; with the rest of the family.

Maura bit her lower lip at the thought. The last thing she wanted was to make it sound awkward for everyone. Nobody knew what was happening between Jane and her and – for the moment – it may have been better like that.

The brunette wasn't ready. Maura simply hoped that it would not last too long. Unless she hadn't understood that Jane's silence today meant that they had marked a pause as her direct ultimatum had indicated the day before. And the only one to blame for it was herself. She had asked for it.

Wrapped in a bathrobe, the blonde walked downstairs to pour herself a glass of wine. She did and sipped on it quietly while observing the Christmas tree on the other side of the room. They had not picked it up a long time ago yet Maura had the feeling that a thousand things had happened between the moment they had chosen it and now. A whole series of events she would have never imagined to come true.

The good ones and darker ones too.

"Good evening!" Angela stormed in cheerfully, a dozen of small presents in her arms. She trotted to the kitchen – put it all down on the counter – and went to hug the scientist tightly. "How are you?"

Maura smiled and turned around to avoid the question. She took advantage of it to pour Angela a glass of wine.

They had decided to spend the evening together, just the two of them. Yet what had seemed like an excellent idea at first was suddenly turning into a torture for the medical examiner. She couldn't lie. It would be hard for her to pretend that everything was alright, to avoid a subject that would betray her current feelings.

"And you? I am sorry, I have just taken a bath. Let's have this glass and then I go change to be a bit more presentable."

The matriarch raised her index finger in the air to say no.

"Stay as you are. We had said it wouldn't be anything fancy. As a matter of fact... " Angela squinted her eyes – as if focused on an idea and was elaborating it in her head – then grinned. "What if we both spent it in our pj's? Tomorrow will be a lot more formal. Let's have a relaxing evening! What do you think?"

Maura pouted - honestly pondered the question - and finally gave in. She wasn't in the mood to dress up and pretend. Not today.

...

8pm

"What is this?" Not waiting for a reply from Maura, Angela bent over and grabbed what looked like a greeting card on the coffee table. She turned it around, took another sip of her wine.

The medical examiner shrugged and mumbled away a semblance of answer. She had received it in the afternoon, reminding her how she was supposed to meet a mysterious person the day after; the same linked to the bouquet of flowers she had left in her office.

The date had simply changed. Instead of Christmas Eve, it was now Christmas day.

In all honesty, she wouldn't have gone to Faneuil Hall today. But something intrigued her and before her obvious lack of chances to spend the evening in Jane's arms the day after, she might actually succumb to her curiosity and go.

Just to see.

Anyway, she could remain hidden in a corner - check who was the sender of such missives - then head back home as if nothing had happened. It was intriguing, she couldn't but recognize it.

"Do you have a secret admirer?"

Mortified, Maura turned her head and stared at Angela in disbelief. Although instead of finding her thrilled, she noticed a latent uncertainty in the matriarch's features. It took her aback, completely.

"Not... Not that I know of." The scientist's voice barely reached the necessary octave to be heard over the crackling of the flames in the fireplace. Twisting her hands nervously, she looked down – embarrassed – at her lap and shrugged a bit evasively; not so casually. "It is just a card."

Angela nodded slowly and bit her lower lip. The atmosphere suddenly seemed a bit heavier, not as light as they had started their evening.

"Please, don't do it. Don't give a chance to this person... Jane... She is stubborn but mostly afraid, you know. She just needs time, and patience. She doesn't have much self-confidence."

Maura froze as the words seemed to twirl around her head, making her feel dizzy. She swallowed hard and counted until five in silence. Angela's voice had been low, her tone rather shaking.

And yet. Maura knew what she had alluded to.

Completely taken aback, the medical examiner closed her eyes to find some courage then finally dared to turn her head to properly look at Angela. The matriarch seemed worried, yet sincere.

...

8pm

"Which one's yours, Rizzoli?"

Playing absentmindedly with the mysterious greeting card she had received earlier during the day, Jane sighed and raised an eyebrow at the question that came from her colleague.

"Pepperoni..." She stood up and walked to the big table they had set up in the middle of the open space. She rubbed her hands together in anticipation. "Gosh I'm starving!"

A pizza for Christmas Eve. Some people would have rolled their eyes at such menu but for Jane, it was actually perfect and one of the reasons why she liked working at the BPD on that day. So far, the evening had been rather quiet and she hoped that it would remain that way.

A nice chat with her colleagues, the idyllic way to forget a few things if not just everything.

Starting with Maura.

She hadn't talked to her of the whole day.

She still didn't know what to say, what to do. The words that the medical examiner had used were still haunting her mind but she hadn't managed to find a proper solution to get rid of the weight on her shoulders. Her feelings for the honey blonde weren't the issue, she had known about them since a long time already.

No.

It was all about the others, as much as they weren't supposed to even matter in the end. There was nothing unfair in Maura's request – on the contrary – but a terrible panic paralyzed her whenever she thought about it.

She knew the kind of rumor that had been going on about her at work. With and without Maura. In spite of her few exes everyone had got to see at some point. It was incredibly stupid but she didn't want to have them satisfied about it; even if it were actually the truth. To an extent. And that there was nothing shameful about it.

"Any New Year's resolution, Rizzoli?"

Jane looked up at her colleague. Morrisson – a detective in his fifties – was peacefully smiling at her. She had always liked him; nice, not too sexist. She grabbed a plastic plate and took a slice of pizza.

"Maybe make a few changes."

She had said it before even realizing it. The words had passed her lips and hit the air with a rather disturbing logic. But for the very first time, she didn't blush nor panic. No. Instead, she looked up and smiled brightly at her colleagues who – surprised by the confession – were staring at her with perplexity. They hadn't expected her to be serious in her reply.

"Does that mean we're going to see you blond on January, 1st?"

The question made her laugh, openly. She bit into her pizza – focused on the delicious taste of it – then finally shook her head; sweeping away with the back of her hand potential crusts from one of her cheeks.

"Not this kind of changes. As a matter of fact, I guess it won't be a change in itself but more..." She ran her tongue over her lips, looking for the right words as the idea was growing in her head. "More like being true to myself." She took one long - deep - breath. "And to someone who is very important to me."

The silence that followed made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Her colleagues never really see her that serious outside of a case. She was always the first one to joke around; like many detectives as a matter of fact. They needed to in order to release the stress of their job, of their daily routine.

But not this time. No. She didn't want to laugh. For once, she wanted to be honest because it hurt too much. She didn't want to lie, she didn't want to see Maura in pain; nor herself, silence did not make anything easier.

A nod echoed her smile with determination.

"Life's too short to not... To not give a chance to a few things."