Chapter 4: Heart Attack

Author's Note!

Hahaha alright. Initially, this wasn't supposed to come on until next week. However, a certain Girlofmidnight is having surgery in a few days and didn't want to miss this. So, everybody say thank you. Please, favorite and review if you like. Thank you so much!

My heart was pounding in my chest, trying to save itself from the impending doom. I glanced sideways at Christian, his fingers were laced with mine and he looked joyously at peace. None of that was going to last. There was going to be screaming, shouting and crying. The moment the lift doors open, I knew my fate was sealed.

Luke had beaten us to the top, already waiting for us by the lift. He gave me a subtle nod in support, a desire burning in his eyes to do something and anything to stop what was about to happen. He knew I was not mentally prepared to expose this enormously large secret.

Grace was sitting comfortably in the living room, her legs crossed as she waited for us. But my attention was drawn to the absolute silence in the room, the television off and no music was on. Grace's thought process was loud enough to fill the room, bouncing off the walls and feeding my insecurities.

"Mom." Christian greeted with a little boy smile.

Grace's head snapped up instantly, out of the sea of thoughts she was swimming in. Her eyes were saturated with stress and worry, flicking over to shoot daggers at me.

My inner goddess began layering herself with bulletproof vests, then proceeded to hiding herself behind a huge SWAT shield.

In comparison, I was exposed. Nothing was going to save me now. "Grace." I greeted with a sheepish and forced smile.

Christian walked us both over to where his mother was sitting, "Mom, Ana hasn't been feeling well lately. Could you maybe give her a check-up?"

Grace nodded, but I did not miss her judgmental glare. As if this was my cover to hide my pregnancy from her son. "Of course, come, Ana." She patted the spot on the couch.

Just when I was about to lower myself down, Christian released his hand from mine. I observed as he dug out the phone in his pocket. It must have been on silent, because I never heard it ring. "Sorry," He said apologetically, "I'll have to take this."

"Go ahead." I smiled encouragingly at him, glad even that I could get him out of the room first. Maybe I could convince Grace to keep this all a secret, just like I had swayed Luke.

Leaning in, Christian planted a kiss on my forehead. "I'll be right back, sweetheart." Spinning on his heels, he strutted towards the office and closed the door behind him.

There was a stretch of silence as both Grace and I stared at each other. Just as she was, I was lost for words. There was nothing I could say to make this all better. My mother-in-law hated me now, I knew it.

"How far along are you?" Grace's voice was weak.

"Four weeks." My reply was mechanic, my brain still wrecking itself to search for an excuse and a way out from this confession.

Her eyes filled with shock and horror, I watched as she counted back. It may seem that not wanting children ran in the family, because her face paled. "How?"

What? We had sex of course. This baby was probably formed when Christian was f*cking me, not even out of love. But these thoughts had to be kept to myself, I shrugged my shoulders.

"How could you do this?!" She hissed under her breath, all of a sudden incredibly angry.

"I'm protecting this child. Christian will insist on an abortion." I defended myself, crossing my arms protectively around my baby.

Grace shook her head at me in disbelief, "Of course he'll demand an abortion!"

My blood turned cold and sweat trickled down my spine. I knew it. I knew it. I bloody knew it. Even Christian's own mother knew how Christian would respond to this all. He would ask for an abortion. I cannot tell him. "That's why I can't tell him, Grace. Can't you see that?" I was pleading now.

"So you'll raise the child?" She almost screeched. I thanked the heavens for the thick wooden door of the office; None of this would grace Christian's ears.

I nodded at her, "I need to raise this child, with or without Christian's support."

"So you expect him to just go along with this? To raise your child?" She clenched her jaw, unhappy with my decision.

What the hell. It was his child too. I pursed my lips, "If he wants a divorce, I'll go through with it."

Grace ran her fingers through her hair as she deliberated it. "Ana… you should have never made such a silly mistake. I really did like you."

It pained my heart that she was using past tense. I had already fallen out of my mother in law's favour. Next, it would be Christian's. My fate would be sealed. I was to raise this child as a divorcee.

My mind painted the future. I could see myself bouncing a beautiful and stunning baby boy that had eyes belonging to his father. Even though I could not think of names now, I knew I would love the child to the ends of the earth and back. Even though he would not have a father to raise him, I would not fail him. I will teach him everything he needed to know and protect him from the things he did not.

"What about the prenup?" Of course, that was in contention, I had married a wealthy man.

"None was signed." I sighed, upset that I was still perceived as a gold digger. "I don't want any money."

Grace looked utterly broken by my actions. If only I had kept to my monthly shots. If only. I hated myself. If I had, I would still be happy with my Christian. I would still be loved by Grace. But I knew that deep down inside of me, I was glad that there was a little Grey growing within me.

"When are you going to tell him?" Grace was defeated, too upset to look at me. Instead, we both turned to stare at the closed office door.

"I don't…" I palmed my face in torture. "I don't know."

"You can't keep him in the dark forever." Grace disapproved. "Tell me you're not thinking about leaving him out of the blue and sending divorce papers in the mail."

I looked up at her. That was a brilliant idea! I could evade his wrath all together.

Grace caught the spark of hope in my eyes and put it out. "It'll break him. He won't know where he went wrong. Please, Ana, don't."

But my own heart was already shattered into smithereens, conceding to the idea that Christian would never want this child. I was too far along now to get an abortion. It would be too cruel. "I don't want to abort our baby, Grace."

"But even if you do, your marriage would never be the same." I had been running the past few days, running from everything. But right now, with Grace, I had finally hit a brick wall. There was no escape. I had to face this.

"Why doesn't Christian want children?" I whimpered, my mind willing my husband to desire children as much as I did right now. Maybe if he did, he would accept me.

"Why on earth do you think he would accept this child?" She was disturbed by my thought. It only broke my heart even more. "Ana, I'm sorry, but you have no right to expect Christian to accept your child."

"Please stop calling it my child." I wailed, close to sobbing already. "It takes two to conceive a child."

Grace sighed. "Where's Sawyer?"

"Right here, ma'am." Luke stepped out from the wings, evidently, he had been listening in.

"How could you do this to Christian? He's your boss." She accused. "He was the one to marry Ana, not you."

Remorse wrecked Luke and his eyes dropped to the floor. I knew how much it tormented him to keep things from Christian. I was so sorry for trapping him like this. "Yes ma'am, I should've told him."

"You should go in there and tell him together," Grace suggested, "you put the child in her so you can't expect to walk away while Ana deals with this all."

Luke's eyebrows furrowed the same moment mine did. We both turned very slowly to stare at Grace. Did she just say that Luke had put this child in me? It must have been because Luke was just as traumatized as I was.

Suddenly, I realized why she must have thought this way. Today. Today. Dammit. I know what it must have looked like. Grace must have thought Luke and I went to check if I was pregnant and was devastated that I was. Oh my. What an immensely huge misunderstanding.

Taking my mother's hand in mine gently, her eyes flicked over to mine once more. "Grace, this isn't Luke's child."

"What?" She was clearly in distress and confusion. "Whose is it then?"

"Grace." I sucked in a huge breath. "It's Christian's."

"Christian?" I sat quietly while she registered it, her brain clicking and her eyes the windows to her very confused inner self. "This is your child? You and Christian's?"

"It's certainly not Luke's." I laughed at the absurdity of the situation. "Luke, I'm sorry, please." I waved Luke away. "Go and rest, I'll deal with my poor mother."

All of a sudden, Grace's arms were around me as she locked me in the tightest embrace ever. "Oh Ana!" She chimed, joy in her voice. "I'm so sorry… I just assumed!"

I wrapped my arms around her too, "It's alright! I'm sorry I didn't clarify earlier."

She pulled back, tears glistening in her eyes. "But you looked so tortured this afternoon, I was ascertain it was an unwanted child."

I smiled sadly at her, "Because he is."

Grace looked taken aback, "What? But he's Christian's child and not Luke's. "

"Exactly because he's Christian's, mom." I fell back into my gloomy and downcast mood, sighing loudly. "Christian doesn't want a child."

"Oh my sweet girl, he told you that?" Grace pitied me as she stroked my hair. I nodded. "But having a child growing in you now, sweet girl, it will change things."

"It will?" Skepticism tainted my voice.

Grace nodded, "He loves you like crazy, Ana. I don't think a child will change that. I actually think it will amplify his love."

That planted the seed of hope within me. The seed beginning to sprout under Grace's words. Maybe she was right. I was over thinking this. Christian would love this child because he loves me.

"You've just got to tell him, dear." Grace pushed, but she enveloped me into an embrace once more. "I'm so happy for the both of you."

The wooden door clicked open and I knew my man was in the room. "Is everything alright?"

Grace and I pulled apart gently. "Of course, Christian, your wife is perfectly alright."

We were both rewarded with a megawatt smile, Christian's happy was too loud. "That's great news."

"There'll be even greater news." Grace whispered at me with a smile.

"What was that?" Christian asked, coming closer with the phone in his hand.

Grace shook her head at Christian, "Just saying goodbye to my daughter." She rose to her feet and gave Christian a hug. "Take care of her."

"You're leaving already?" There was sadness in his voice, a little boy's desire for his mother's company.

Grace nodded. "I've got to get back to Carrick, we were supposed to have dinner." She turned to point at the clock, "Look at the time!"

"Tell dad I say hi." Christian smiled sweetly, beginning to walk his mother to the lift.

It's time. My inner goddess' voice rang softly in my head.

I can do this. I will do this. I found the courage and strength within myself to stand up. Placing my hand against my belly, I prepared myself for Christian's return. Christian footsteps echoed through the house. "Hey baby, I'll need to run down to the office for a bit."

"Wait, there's something I need to tell you." My voice was shaky, but building in confidence.

Christian walked towards me, touching me lovingly. "Of course, what is it?"

It was now or never. "I'm pregnant."

Time seemed to stop there and then. It was like watching a movie. There was absolute shock in his eyes followed by the confusion. The confusion evolved into worry and then sparked into anger. That emotion caught me off guard for a moment but it quickly dissolved into calm.

Christian took both my hands in his, "That's great news, Ana."

"Really?" I squeaked, uncertain if there were more emotions to come.

A smile spread across his face, "Of course."

"You're not mad?" I was shocked, none of these reactions had been what I had anticipated.

Christian's hand came to cradle my face, "My beautiful Ana, I would never be mad at you."

I stared into his alluring grey eyes, embarrassed that I had ever doubted my husband for one minute. The worst was over, Christian had accepted me for who I was and who I was carrying. All my worries had been for nothing, Christian really did love me.

Returning his glorious smile, I whispered, "I love you."

All I need; Within Temptation