A/N: I know I usually update only once in a week, but I felt bad for leaving you hanging last time, so I wanted to update immediately, even if it is a bit shorter than usual. Thank you for your patience. Don't forget to review! Your words fuel me :)

"Last time we were reviewing the principles of applying number charts to probability..."

Professor Vector kicks off the class, ignoring the deadpan faces of the barely-dozen students she has, enumerating the scope and sequence of the lesson we are about to be introduced to. But instead of actually listening, my hand just grips my quill aggressively, helplessly hovering over the blank page of my notebook. I can barely bring myself to pay attention to our coverage when Kerrigan is sitting next to me. Her crimson hair is a tad bit disheveled from her time with Sirius and her slightly swollen lips are pulled into a sickeningly giddy smile.

I frown at my nonexistent notes, trying to open my ears to whatever Professor Vector is trying to get through our heads. Is there a spell for selective sight? Because it's frustrating to need to copy the chart of revised Chaldean method Vector is illustrating while trying to ignore my peripheral vision where I can see Kerrigan is absentmindedly doodling hearts around an inked star on the margins of her book pages.

As I fixate my eyes on the board, I can feel the pull of the universe testing me when she leans in to whisper as Professor Vector's back is turned.

"You know Sirius pretty well, yeah?"

"No, we've just been best mates for over five years, but no, I reckon I don't," I say, rubbing my temples.

She giggles, obviously not catching the bitter edge to my sarcasm. Combing her fingers through her wavy hair, she closes in on me farther.

"Do you think he fancies me?"

"Well, you guys seemed to have your faces glued with a permanent sticking charm a while ago."

She sighs, continuing to take notes without really taking in what she is recording in her posh, perfect handwriting. "But when it comes to Black, that doesn't exactly confirm anything, does it? I mean he hasn't been much of a player for the past few months, I get that but... I don't know what to think –"

"I get what you mean," I snap, cutting her off. "He knows how to go through girls faster than apparating, actually. It's all a game to him. None of it means anything more than a good shag. No real affection. I pity any bird who thinks otherwise."

Her face gets pulled down, her brown eyes dulling, but she tries to keep the soft faltering smile on her face. "Oh," she breathes out, trying to conceal her disappointment. "Yeah, I... I figured. You're right. Thanks."

She returns, or at least pretends to return, to the lesson. Scribbling away, she doesn't pause to doodle swirly 'S.B.'s on the top of the pages this time.

Why do I suddenly feel like painting Sirius to be repulsive? I've been in love with him for years but never have I sabotaged any trace of a possible relationship for him before.

Did I let last night bring my hopes up? Does a part of me actually think that those snogs we shared could mean something to him? Like if I steer every girl away from him, I will finally have a chance? Rubbish.

Sirius Black is not the type of bloke who lets intoxicated nights grow into something more. He would never believe it was worth facing. And this belief of his, I'm sure, is more amplified now that the person he got hammered with was me.

As much as those kisses were the best thing ever captured by my sense, I have to face the fact that it's over. The moment he pulled away from me felt like someone dumping me into an icy lake after I enjoyed a day-long stroll in the warm sun. The fantasy of it all is self-indulgent and nothing sprouted as an aftermath other than our now-flickering friendship.

Staring at the chart on the board, I feel my vision get pulled by the sight of Kerrigan at the corner of my eye. Her eyes look blank now and her rosy lips are set into a straight line. She's tapping her finger in what seems to be frustration.

That's when the guilt starts sprouting within me.

I inhale deeply, before succumbing to it. "Hey, Ker – er, Margaret?"

She turns to me, a stern glare brewing in her eyes. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm in an awful mood today and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. That wasn't very fair of me," I offer meekly.

She looks hard at me, before her expression softens. "It's okay. Besides, everything you said isn't actually debatable. You have a ridiculously valid point."

"No, look, you don't understand. I know that Sirius has had problems with um... keeping it in his trousers" - Kerrigan nods her head in an 'oh I know what you mean' manner - "but he's changed. Really. Hasn't been out with a girl in months. He really fancies you. You should have heard him talk about your Quidditch skills last weekend. He was beat up when you got mad at him when he slept in. You know, when you guys were supposed to study? And Sirius never studies well with other people," I say, deciding not to add unless it's with me.

A grin plays on the corners of her mouth, although she tries to suppress it. "Really?"

I nod, ignoring the part of my brain that's screaming at me for what I'm doing. "Really."

She looks at me gratefully, not being able to stifle her smile any longer. "You're a really good friend. Defending him like that, even with his arrogant tendencies."

I try to match her smile. "Yeah. We're really... good friends."

She gives my hand a thankful squeeze. "We should pay attention now. I'm already regretting taking this blasted N.E.W.T. level."

My eyes fly back to the board and I end up agreeing with her. I've literally only been talking to the girl for a couple of minutes and the board is already full with Vector's analysis on the comparative study between the Agrippan and Chaldean methods in relation to numerology.

And yet, Sirius is still the most confusing thing of the day.

"Is that all, Mr. Lupin?"

"Yes, Madam Pince. I think that's all I borrowed," I say, though still thinking it over.

"Okay then," she says, peering over her desk. "Will you be staying here? Aren't you supposed to be at dinner?"

"I ate a big lunch," I lie. There is no reason to be at the dinner, it is hard to get a proper appetite with my nerves anyway. Besides, Sirius is going to be there, and as much as I feel guilty for leaving an angry James and a worried Peter with him, I decide that it would be better to hide out in the library till closing time.

"Okay then. Just make sure you're done with your research before closing time."

"Oh... It's just that Professor Vector assigned us three feet of –"

Madam Pince waves my excuses away, giving up. "Okay, okay. Just make sure to lock up after you leave, okay? You know the drill."

Being the only student, other than Lily Evans and the Head Boy and Girl, to ever be allowed in the library after hours, I'm not surprised I can sway the usually strict librarian. I grin at her reassuringly. "Of course."

She opens her mouth to add something, but I beat her to it. "And no, I will not let any of my roommates barge in this time."

She smiles at me kindly, looking relieved, and returns to her office.

I head to the Arithmancy section for our assigned essay, pulling out a biography on Bridget Wenlock. As I settle on a table against the wall and open the hardbound, wincing as I remember the class this afternoon and how when we were dismissed, Sirius was outside the classroom waiting for that annoying little –

Halting my thoughts, I redirect my attention to the chapter the book is opened to. Margaret Kerrigan is a nice girl, and just because Sirius fancies her, does not mean she is deserving of my bitterness. She's pretty and smart and charming and my unreciprocated love is blinding me to that.

I sigh, as thoughts of Sirius' silvery eyes blur my vision from taking in any of the words in the book.

Two hours and sixteen chapters later, I find myself actually engrossed in the book and learning five times the amount required for our lesson in Arithmancy. Getting so drowned in the content, I find myself muttering the words for the last few chapters.

But something cuts off my mumbling from the other side of the room. "Missed you at dinner."

A shiver shoots up my body as I look up to the doorway to see Sirius with his arms crossed and a faint smile on his exhausted face.

"Hey, Sirius."

He walks over to me and sits across from where I am, closing my book after he dog-ears my page.

"I wasn't done with that, Sirius," I mutter, not being able to stop myself from glaring at him.

"I'm sorry, I just need to talk to you," he says slowly.

"You don't need to. James already got to me first. You won't make it on the full moon. It's okay, I understand," I say, but the hostile hint in my voice makes him flinch. I flip my book open again and continue to read. Or at least pretend like he isn't distracting enough to keep me from studying.

"That's it... I didn't mean it. I was in a bad state, okay? Last night really took its toll on me," he said sadly, his beautiful eyes shining apologetically.

I look up. Is he really going to talk about what happened last night? Is he really going to confront this?

"I mean," he adds, "anyone would be all pissy after downing two bottles right? The hangover just isn't treating me well."

I inhale sharply. Of course. I return my gaze to the chapter.

"Oh. Yeah."

"Look, Remus, I'm just so sorry okay? You know I wouldn't let anything keep me from being with you on full moons now."

The pleading voice is reeling me in and I hate myself for it. It isn't fair at all.

He continues. "I really am sorry, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," I say tersely, trying not to give away that the moment he had showed up in the library doorway, he was already forgiven.

"Come on, Remus."

"Yup."

"Remus."

"Sirius."

"Are we okay?"

"Yes."

"Doesn't sound like it."

"That's all in your head," I chide, my eyes still on the pages.

"Really?"

"Yes, Sirius."

"Then look at me."

I do as I am told and look back into his gorgeous gaze, giving up and dropping my blank expression. I smile at him, despite every logical thought telling me not to. "We're okay," I tell him, although I don'tnecessarily believe it.

A huge grin appears on his face. "That's more like it!" He reaches over and grabs my book, standing up. "Now let's go, you need some rest."

I look at him, amused and ignoring all the doubts in my head except one. "Sirius... Are you sure you can handle me alone on Friday?"

"I've been preparing. Looking things up. Bracing myself," he says simply, shrugging off my concern, and turning his heel to walk out.

I stand and jog up to walk next to him, my bag askew on my shoulder due to my haste. "You? Preparing?"

He chuckles, looking at ease, but I know he's still as lost about us as I am. "Remember my bag getting busted because of all the damn books?"

I nod.

"Well," he says with a grin, "what do you think is enough to make me take up extra reading?"

As we walk out the library, I smile. None of this is less confusing than it was an hour ago, but right now, I have Sirius by my side, ready to do anything to make sure I am okay when the full moon rolls in.

That's enough. At least for now.