Chapter 9: Fix You

Author's Note!

Okay, let me start by saying that I AM TRULY AND SINCERELY SORRY. Concerning the previous story line, I was in the crucial stages of my tennis competitions so I was just trying to rush a chapter out. (I know, not an excuse, sorry) And the only plotline in my head was from Streetcar Named Desire. So it just... yeah. And i'm sorry if I got my definitions wrong, I briefly googled and read the brief summary of the definition, so I just thought. And i'm sorry. I redid the chapters. I'd just like to clarify once more that you don't have to read this story? I'm not some phenomenal writer. My age has limitations, so please, be more understanding. Yup, i'm sorry. And concerning FSOGoodbye, I jammed on the storyline. So it's going to take a while to start it up again. Sorry!

Christian's jaws clenched visibly, the vein in his neck popping up for the very first time. My heart was pounding, I could feel it in my mouth. His fingers in mine turned stone cold and he released my hands.

"Ch-" I started, my hands reaching for him.

He turned abruptly, my hands merely grazing his back. "Taylor, car."

Stepping out from the wings, Taylor nodded at Christian and fished the keys from his pocket. Without waiting for me, which I deserved, the love of my life stalked towards Taylor. Taylor gave me a look and a slight jerk of his head as Christian passed him, as if encouraging me to come after Christian.

I stood rooted in my place, my hands clammy and still mid-way in the air. I could hear myself breathing, panicked little huffs as Christian disappeared from my view. Charlotte and Giselle looking equally shaken at what must have been Christian's expression. When I failed to follow, Taylor pursed his lips and hurried after his employer.

"Let's go." Luke's voice was suddenly at my ear. The car already parked in the front.

"Go where?" I was defeated, unable to comprehend my irresponsible behavior once more.

Luke's fingers wrapped themselves around my elbow, "Where he's going. He's chased after you countless times, it's your turn."

My mind raced with countless of times Christian had pursued me upon being abandoned. Most of those times, he had been in no wrong. The man's undying love for me still astounded me until today. I could never imagine continuously having to put in effort to track someone down only to put in more effort to explain myself even when I was in the right. That was Christian's plight.

It had surprised me thoroughly when instead of exploding in my face, Christian had stormed off. It was so unlike him and it was starting to worry me. What if this was the final straw between us?

Christian had gone to great lengths to secure this ring on my finger and I just had to take it off. My inner goddess nodded with a resounding roll of her eyes. I knew he lavished at the picture of my finger banded, it gave him such immense joy. Yet, I had to steal his flame in such a manner.

I had begun to beat myself internally when Luke gave up waiting for me to make a decision. He practically wheeled me into the car and slammed the door shut. Leaping into the front seat, he flicked through his iPhone. "Christian's headed for his office." He pulled away at a lightning speed.

"Ana, I have no idea why you took of that ring but you better have a really good reason for it." Luke threw me a judgmental glare through the mirror. "You of all people know how that ring makes Christian tick."

Defeated, I let my head droop. What explanation did I have?

It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. The duties and baggage that had come with that ring had caught up with me and buried me completely under. The only out I saw was by removing that ring for that brief moment for a lame placebo effect. A decision that I was immensely regretting at the moment.

After what seemed like five seconds, Luke announced, "We're arriving." Grey Enterprises Holdings inc came into view at his words. "I suggest you super glue that ring back on, it might placate him slightly."

"Good idea." I whispered, breathless at the hounds within my head. My fingers fanned out across my right dress pocket and my heart fell. With the other hand, I hunted the other pocket, twisting to get a better angle. My heart began to race and I was driven into panic, slamming my hands in and out of my definitely empty pockets.

Noticing my disarray, Luke turned around to face me straight on. His eyes fell to my empty hands and his eyes widened in shock and disbelief, putting two and two together. "Hell."

I could barely hear myself think, my system beginning to crash at my situation. It was hopeless. Luke had parked in Christian's spare lot, Christian's Audi already allotted into the space beside ours. It was derelict, completely and ultimately derelict. Just like my mind and my heart and my finger.

"Ana, think. Where could it be?" He unbuckled his seat belt to enable him to twist around completely. "In a bag?" I shook my head, my hands turning clammy. "In another jacket or dress?" I shook my head once more, breaking out into cold sweat.

The idea of actually losing the ring was petrifying. Not because it cost a fortune but rather the symbolic reasons behind it was enough to kill Christian. I would have implied that his love and commitment was nothing to me, as easy as losing the ring.

"Breathe, Ana." Luke instructed. "It could be in your office. Call Claire to sweep it."

I raised my shaking hands in the air, realizing that they were numb beyond reason. With the solid senseless feeling, I grabbed at my phone and lifted it. Taking pity on me, Luke took it out from my hands and dialed for Claire on my behalf. "I don't suppose you can talk." Luke raised his eyebrows at me. It was all I could do to shake my head.

"Hey Claire, it's Luke." He said calmly. "Ana might have dropped her wedding ring in the vicinity." Before he could continue, I heard Claire's voice rise a couple of octaves and she screamed. Luke winced. "Yes, she did." He nodded. "Yes, pan out all the employees to search the building, anywhere she could have went."

He pressed the phone into the small in his jugular, directing his next question to me. "About what time?"

Not trusting my voice to carry me safely, I lifted my fingers to indicate it. "Nine." Luke told Claire, "Great, once it's located, drop me a call. Bye."

All I could feel was Claire's panic. Even she knew how deep in shit I was. "Ana, you have to go to Christian. There's no point waiting for the ring." In other words, it might never come. I was suddenly very cold. "Taylor says he's brooding in his office, it's best if you go on in."

That did not sound like too good an idea. What if he had given his assistant or security guards instructions to keep me out? Why else would he have left me standing there along the curb?

I was shaking. Finally, the tears forming in my eyes brimmed over and rolled down my cheeks. "Oh Ana..." Luke cooed. I closed my eyes and rubbed my tears away as Luke came around to open the car door for me, gently, he lifted me out of the car and into his arms. "Don't panic sweetheart, he loves you."

He would not now. I could see myself in his shoes. I could see how he would perceive this. The love of my life taking off his wedding ring to meet someone who had always been after his love. I could taste the betrayal and feel it in my bones. How on earth would Christian forgive me now?

"He loves you, Ana." Luke repeated before reclining, holding me at arms length as he studied me. "You can face him." He wiped away my tears. "Let's go, okay?"

I nodded. There was nothing else I could do. I was tired of constantly running and hiding. This time, we would both be running away from each other. If I did not solve this, jump over this hurdle, we might as well sign our divorce papers. I could not do that to our baby Grey, my fingers bumping against my abdomen lifelessly.

With a steady hand pressed against the small of my back, Luke led me into the office building. The usual bubbly and cheerful receptionists had lost their spark upon seeing my face, daring not to speak as I was hauled past them. Stepping into the lift with me, Luke was thoughtfully silent.

What would I say to Christian?

What would Christian say to me?

It was frightening. But I had gotten myself to this point and hence, this was a problem I would have to fix. All that was certain right now was that I loved Christian and I still did. I knew I had to fight to keep him.

"Oh, Mrs Grey!" The receptionist stationed outside of Christian's office had a look of fluster that mirrored my feelings. She looked relieved to see me.

Something has happened. Taylor stepped out from the inner chambers, guiding a very pale Andrea out of Christian's dungeon. The poor assistant looked shaken beyond relief. Luke raised his chin ever so slightly in an unspoken question which Taylor answered with a nod.

"Ana, he won't hurt you." Luke whispered reassuringly into my ear, guiding me forward and deeper into the spiral. "But you've got to be careful." He parked me outside the frosted glass doors of Christian's office, the assistant desk outside evacuated.

The tears kept rolling and my hand rested against the handle, realizing that Luke was letting go. I felt him fall back to give me some much needed room. I sucked in breaths to try to steady myself. Hopeless. It was now or never.

Just as I pushed the door open slightly, a grand shatter rang out from Christian's office. My heart fell and I forced myself to break through my fear to reach my potentially hurt husband. The door quietly closed behind me.

What first caught my eye was the mess in the office. Papers, files, books and stationery strewn all over the place. There was broken glass at my feet and behind it all was my beloved husband, leaning against the desk helplessly with his hands pulling his hair by its roots.

He was broken.

Christian had loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his very crumpled shirt. Steadily, I began to close the distance between us, my mind revolving around his well-being. Mustering up as much courage as I could, I began to lift my hands towards him, wanting to touch him.

"Don't." He groaned.

Immediately, my hand fell back behind me. I concealed my unbranded hand and my bottom lip quivered, watching his inner demons conceal him. "I love you, Christian." The tears met at my chin and slipped down my throat.

"Why did you do it, Ana." Christian pained, barely looking up at me. He did not want to look at me, as if just the sight of me would sting him and break him further.

I could not stand this. It was torture. "It was irrational." I cried, pleading for him to forgive me.

"Did you take it off for him?" He yanked his hair and I grabbed his fists within mine, tugging at them to stop giving him more pain.

Christian tensed at my contact, snatching his hands away from mine. His eyes opened, furious and maddened. At that moment, I thought I would have died. "No, I didn't." But his gaze was accusatory. "I love you, Christian."

He shook his head at me, refusing to believe me. "Are you ashamed to be married to me?"

"No!" I gasped, trying to reach for him again.

His eyes fell upon my fingers once more and he went into overheat, his anger materializing before me. "WHERE THE FU** IS YOUR RING, ANA?!" At his tone and volume, I stumbled back. He stopped leaning against the table and jumped forward, furious. "WHERE IS IT."

When I failed to answer, he grabbed my wrist roughly and lifted my hand in the air between us. I flinched, his hold too tight and too unfamiliar. I was used to his loving and caring ways, tender contact and intense devotion. Not this. "WHERE. IS. IT." He seethed, eyes wild.

The tears were running down my cheeks now, competing in the 100m sprint of the Olympics. "I... I... Lost it."

Christian's eyes narrowed and his jaws clenched, my insecurities wakening in him. All I could see was complete distrust and hurt, betrayal ringing through his gorgeous grey eyes.

"I love you, Christian." I tried once more, my voice weak and soft. It did nothing. My husband remained fixed in his posture, not moving.

We were truly broken now. I could see the aura of surrender surround him, radiating off him. We were broken and he was giving up. Maybe losing my ring was a foreshadow for this, for how our marriage would be inevitably broken.

Now, in this darkened room with his dark presence, I began to remember the better days. It was like a beacon of light, beckoning for me to find hope. The times when Christian would bring his lips to my ring. These times, I knew I was meant for him and made for him. But now... Without the ring, we were lost.

My hands turned clammy and I began to cry, the tears sliding down from my eyes and meeting at my chin. Quiet little pearls that will go unnoticed by the love of my life from now on.

CPOV:

HOW COULD ANA DO THIS?!

The only colour in my life was red. I was seeing red; whether anger or betrayal. They were both red.

Bastard Ethan.

Ana would never be able to begin to grasp how the punk threatened every molecule within me. Ana was my everything and anybody who wanted to take he away from me would be taking away everything from me.

Until this day, Ana still believed that they were just mere good friends. But she failed to understand that he loved her and no matter what she told herself, his intentions regarding her would always be grounded in infatuation.

The thing that rattled my cage the most was not the things he said to her. It was the genuine nature of how he said it. I could see it and hear it. The way he said it revealed his true feelings for her.

Ethan Kavanagh was still deeply in love with my Ana.

If anybody was to throw sugarcoated words at the love of my life, I would have tossed him about and thrown him a couple of punches of my own. However, dealings with Ethan were different. Firstly, the punk meant everything he said. So I could not penalize him for that.

Secondly, he meant too much to Ana. At times, I would catch her reading past text messages from Ethan. It stung, but I knew she needed him too.

Ever since we had gotten married, my displeasure towards Ethan had been a constant hindrance for Ana to reach out to him. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted her all to myself, Ana needed her best friend as well. The same way she needed Kate, Ana needed Ethan too.

Some times, I had tried to hint to her that hanging with Ethan would be fine. I would never explicitly allow her to do so. It was all very confusing. At other times, I would try and arrange for the two of them to casually bump into each other in public. However, that woman's schedule was always changing.

Speaking of schedules, Anastasia GREY had deceived me today. Initially, I had asked Gail to teach me how to make Carbonara pasta to take to Ana at work. Whenever I had a long day of meetings at work, Ana would bring me home cooked food. It was a loving gesture, one that was so intimate that I had wanted to try my hand at it.

Who knew that on the way there, Ana was already having lunch with one of my love competitors. I had called her assistant to sort out her timetable but that woman could not tell a lie to save her life. It had taken her all about ten seconds to dive into a series of apologies the moment I stared her down in the lobby.

It was like knives stabbing into my heart repeatedly as her words came out from her mouth, the betrayal on her lips had mirrored exactly how Ana must have felt when Elena came home with me. At that moment, I was ready to hang Ethan out to dry on the top of the Eiffel Tower. I had been charging out of her office only to see them conveniently pull up outside.

I had wanted to sort things out with her, to reason with her as I knew she was still suffering from my callous actions the night before. I had a good hold on my temper, just like John had taught me. But the moment I saw her…

But she was still mine. With or without her ring. And now that she had our child growing within her, she was mine more than ever. At the thought, my free hand gently probed along her belly. There was not a visible bump, but I could feel it beginning to cave out.

My Ana.

Our baby.

In the sun, her hair glowed like the sunset itself. A beautiful brown that had caught my eye and ever since, I had never let her go. It made me wonder of frightening things like what if our child had her hair?

The very idea of having a son or a daughter was the biggest scare to me in my entire life. Ana would make a great mother, but I had begun to fear my part in raising the child. What if I was so bad at it that she would turn to none other than Ethan Kavanagh for help?

I squeezed my eyes shut and fought back the emotions. These same emotions had haunted me when I realized she was not wearing her ring. It had been my only protection against Ethan and she had taken it off.

But why had she?

These thoughts were gnawing at me from the inside. Ethan knew she was married, I had made sure he came for our wedding. I squeezed the bridge of my nose, knowing that I had clients who took off their wedding rings purely for psychological reasons. It made cheating less daunting.

Had Ana?

Emerging from my zone of thoughts, I lifted my head to find Ana whimpering. I clenched my jaw, it seemed that nowadays, Ethan was the only one who could make her smile. The moment the thought had entered my head, I shook it hard to exile it.

No. No. There was no way I could or would lose to Ethan. Ana was rightfully mine. Her hands lifted as she started to wipe her tears away with her fists. Immediately, I stepped forward and caught her hands.

Her eyes fluttered open in surprise, the perfect blue I had grown used to had begun to sting red. It pained my heart and tortured me.

APOV:

My eyes opened to a troubled grey, his eyes haunted at the thought of me. I felt the insecurity blossom within me and panicked.

This is it, my inner goddess pursed her lips at me.

"P-p-pl-ease." I whimpered, taking a step back.

Christian surprised me by latching onto my wrist, preventing me from retreating. No no no. I pulled back a little more, only to be pulled in once more. I did not want to hear what he had to say.

"Please don't." I pleaded, regretting all the wrong things I had ever committed against him. They had piled up and brought us to this today. "Please." I could not even bring myself to look at him. "Please don't leave me."

There was a long pause as my words hung in the tense air.

It only frightened me more because I knew that the next instance he opened his mouth, my fate would be sealed. The thought lured my tears out, provoking them and causing me to cry harder. The feel of his hand around my wrist was the only warmth I could have, my heart freezing with the seconds ticking by.

"Leave you?" He sounded surprised. I looked up at him, my vision blurred by the dampness. "Do you want to leave me?"

He was giving me a choice? I shook my head hard, the movement swerving my tears off course. "Nooooooo." I screeched, choking on my tears.

His smile was glorious and before I could salvage it, he jerked my wrist forward. Losing my balance, I stumbled into his chest. "Nobody's leaving anybody, Ana."

CPOV:

This isn't over.

We will discuss this loss of her ring later on. But right now, she needed my reassurance more than I needed those answers. They could wait. I needed to give her the attention and embrace she desired before I lose her to Ethan once more. That bastard will not win.

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