Emily opens up to Lakhsmi, while Paige considers her visit to Rosewood.

A/N: Reminder that this forks from cannon after the end of season 4. The Paily break up over Paige going to the police was more long term in this story.

"I need to ask you something first," Emily said. "How much do you know about me, specifically?"

"Specifically, not a lot," Lakhsmi replied. "All I know is that you were one of the group. There were four of you and your friend went missing, and everyone thought she was dead. Someone stalked you while she was in hiding, then they tried to kill her. There were a number of murders, but the people behind it have been arrested now."

"That's it, in a nutshell, I suppose," Emily said.

"It must have been terrible," Lakhsmi said. "How did you cope?"

"To be honest, I don't know," Emily replied. "I suppose when your life is like that, eventually you adapt, you just get used to it. You think, that's just the way things are."

"They said one of the people after you was your teacher," Lakhsmi said.

"Yes," Emily confirmed. "He was dating Aria for a while."

"Wait, your teacher was dating one of his students?" Lakhsmi asked, obviously shocked.

"Like I said, you just get used to some things," Emily responded. "None of us understood at the time why it was so wrong."

"How is she now?" Lakhsmi asked.

"She's OK," Emily replied. "She's had a lot to work through, but she's pretty tough."

"So what was it like for you?" Lakhsmi asked.

"It's hard to understand if you weren't there," Emily began. "The girl who went missing was… I don't know how to explain it. She was the one that brought us all together. She chose us, so that we were her hand-picked clique. I was so naive, I just felt special, like it was a privilege I should be thankful for. When we all thought she was dead, we finally faced up to who she was, how she had treated us… treated everyone."

"I'm getting the impression she wasn't a nice person," Lakhsmi noted.

"No," Emily confirmed. "She wasn't, but I couldn't see that. She was nice sometimes…"

"Everyone is nice sometimes," Lakhsmi pointed out.

"Yeah, I get that now," Emily agreed. "At the time, I was just so excited when she said anything… anything that made me think… she actually cared."

Emily quickly scanned Lakhsmi's face for a reaction, but Lakhsmi was showing only concern. Emily decided now was the time.

"I was in love with her," Emily stated. "She knew that. She used it to control me."

"That's awful," Lakhsmi said. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. Was she the first girl you loved?"

"She was," Emily replied. "And as much as I'd like to forget her, I can't because she will always have that place in my life. She made me realize who I was, but she took so much from me for that."

"I understand," Lakhsmi said. "For me it was nowhere near as dramatic, though. She was just straight, that was all. She laughed when I told her. She wasn't trying to be mean, she just thought it was funny."

Emily and Lakhsmi looked at each other for a moment. Emily felt relief flowing through her.

"Did you know?" Emily asked.

"Know what?" Lakhsmi responded.

"That I'm gay," Emily clarified.

"I may have been getting little pings on my gaydar," Lakhsmi answered.

"Me too," Emily said.

Lakhsmi just smiled, that smile that felt as warm as a hug.

Paige was trying to study, but having trouble concentrating. She kept going over the conversation she had had with Hanna. Over and over. She had created a picture in her mind, that she was no longer welcome with Emily's friends, that they had banded together against her no matter what had happened, and now that picture had been torn up.

But still, what did this really mean?

Paige had made a new start, and put a lot of effort into leaving her old life behind. Sure, sometimes when she wandered around the hallways at Stanford she imagined Emily there with her. When she was training it occasionally felt as if Emily was swimming in the next lane, pushing her on. But Paige had made it this far by herself.

After all this work, Paige wondered if she was ready to even consider that the door which she had thought had closed behind her might still be able to be opened.

Paige looked at her notes, and realized she had no idea what they said. Why was she even studying on a Friday night?

She needed to talk to someone.

Paige knew she had blown it. She had tried to make her case to Emily, but let her anger get the better of her, and now Emily hated her, really hated her. Paige had confirmed all of Emily's worst fears, and now all Emily could see was a hurt, twisted girl out for revenge. Spencer, Paige's only potential ally in convincing Emily, now no longer trusted Paige either.

All Paige could do was remove herself from Emily and her friends. If she saw them at school, she went somewhere else. If anyone mentioned them, she changed the subject. She no longer went to the Brew, or anywhere else she might see Emily. All of her friends knew the name that they were not to mention.

This arrangement stung, but Paige believed she could handle it. The situation was contained.

But of course, there was always a way to aggravate a wound in Rosewood. One day she found an envelope in her locker. Inside was a note from Emily to Alison. Paige shoved it back in the envelope and into her bag without reading it, but her willpower was short loved. Later that afternoon she read it. Emily no longer just wanted to keep Alison safe, she wanted Alison back. Back in Rosewood, back with her.

Paige felt dizzy, and soon nauseous. She ran to the bathroom, burst into an empty cubicle and vomited. Only as she recovered her composure afterwards did she notice there was someone standing by the basins.

"Paige?"

It was Hanna. Of course. Why wouldn't one of Emily's friends be there?

"Are you OK?" Hanna asked. "I can take you to the doctor if you need."

"No," Paige responded, barely able to speak. "Thank you."

"Did you eat something bad?" Hanna asked. "That casserole at the cafeteria was really…"

Hanna stopped speaking as Paige handed her the note.

"A left this in my locker," Paige explained. "Tell Emily. If A is intercepting her messages…"

Paige couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. As Hanna looked at the note, Paige turned and walked out.

It took her some time to notice how concerned Hanna had been for her.

"So what was it like when she went missing?" Lakhsmi asked.

"Terrible," Emily replied. "I felt guilty, but in a way I felt liberated, which just made me feel more guilty. I was lonely for a while, but then the four of us came back together and started to… to work out who we were without her. And then it started."

Emily paused for a moment. There was so much to tell, and she barely knew where to start. All she could do was begin.

Paige was sitting in her favorite local coffee shop, across the table from Aisha, her teammate in the swim team and one of the first friends Paige made when she arrived at Stanford.

"So, what's up?" Aisha asked.

"I got a call yesterday from Hanna, one of Emily's friends," Paige explained. "She wants me to meet up with them when I'm in Rosewood."

"I thought they hated you," Aisha said.

"I thought they did too," Paige responded. "But she says they don't. They want to apologize."

"Do you believe her?" Aisha asked.

"Yeah, I mean Hanna could never lie about something like that anyway," Paige replied.

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" Aisha said. "Give you a chance to mend some fences."

"I suppose so," Paige said.

"But…" Aisha prompted.

"I don't know what this means for Emily," Paige explained. "She won't be there, but they wouldn't be reaching out if she still hated me. If I go, should I contact her? Will she want to talk to me? Can she trust me again? Does she…"

"OK, OK," Aisha interrupted. "You're jumping a few steps ahead here. Why don't you just go along and talk to them? Maybe you can ask them if you should talk to her."

"But what if I'm wasting my time," Paige countered. "I've tried so hard to get over her, and now I'm right back there, worrying about what she thinks of me."

"You've tried hard, yeah," Aisha responded. "But Paige, and I'm sorry to have to be the one to break this to you, you've failed. You still care about her whether you like it or not, and you'll go crazy if you don't at least see what this is about."

"I suppose so," Paige agreed.

"Heck, I'll probably go crazy if you don't go," Aisha added. "You won't be talking about anything else from now until graduation."

Paige smiled.

"You're right," Paige said.

"It's more than that though," Aisha said. "You and I will both have this little picture in our minds of you and her, sitting in rooms on opposite sides of the country, both wondering whether to get in touch. That will drive us crazy."

"OK, I'll go," Paige declared. "I'll talk to Hanna and the others, and if there's a chance I'll call Emily again."

"This girl must really be something," Aisha said.

"She is," Paige confirmed.

"If this doesn't work out though, you have to promise me you'll start dating again," Aisha insisted.

"I tried," Paige said.

"You didn't try hard enough," Aisha countered. "You're at college. I see girls checking you out all the time and you don't even notice. You see if you've still got a chance with Emily, but if you don't then you have to move on."

Paige nodded. She knew Aisha was right.

It was only when Emily tried to tell the whole story of what had happened to her that she realized how difficult a story it was to tell. It made no sense. She could barely believe it and she had lived through it. Lakhsmi spent most of her time with her face in various poses of disbelief.

But Emily didn't really tell the whole story. Some things were still too personal, and too painful. She mentioned Paige, but not how or why they broke up, and not what happened afterwards.

When she looked back on what she did, Emily saw a different person. Not herself, but someone in a story, a cautionary tale. She wanted to tell this Emily to stop, not to let herself be drawn in again, but it was too late.

She should have known better too. She had experienced it before, but it was like she could only see the spell Alison cast on her with the benefit of hindsight. At the time she just felt special, and loved.

For a long time after she broke up with Paige, she would wake up every morning and remember again that Paige was gone. She told herself how she had done what she had to do, but the loss of Paige still remained with her as a dull ache which she felt whenever she couldn't find something to distract herself.

Emily therefore focused all of her efforts on saving Alison. She had something she could do, something she knew was right. She was no longer wary of Alison, and while her romantic feelings had gone away, she felt them returning as Alison rewarded her efforts with visits, messages, and secrets the others were not allowed to know. Emily was Alison's most trusted friend, and Alison was now Emily's reason for keeping going.

Then one time they met. Emily had some documents Alison needed, and after the usual complex process to organize a rendezvous, Emily and Alison were face-to-face again.

"I've brought you everything you need," Emily whispered, handing Alison the envelope she had asked for. Emily studied Alison's face, eager for a look of approval.

Alison looked at the package Emily had given her, then looked up, and smiled, that smile Alison only seemed to give Emily, where her whole face showed her pleasure, and with just a hint of mischief.

"I hope you know how important you are to me, Emily," Alison said. "You are the only one I can really count on these days."

Emily felt her heart racing.

"I just want to help you so you can come home," Emily replied.

"I know," Alison said. "And I want to come home too. I'm still scared, but soon… I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you all this time, but I want to make up for that. Make up for leaving you."

Alison was crying now.

"I understand," Emily said. "You had to go."

"I hope you do understand, Emily," Alison said. "Because I owe you so much."

And with that, Alison leaned forward and gently kissed Emily.

It had been a long night. Emily was feeling a little emotional, but it wasn't until she stood up to leave that she started to cry.

"I'm sorry," she said, sitting down again.

Lakhsmi came over and sad beside her, tentatively putting her arm around Emily's shoulders.

"Will you be alright after this?" Lakhsmi asked. "I hope I haven't put you under too much stress."

"It's just…" Emily began. "This might be the first time I've told someone all of this, someone outside of Rosewood, that is."

"I'm worried I've asked too much of you now," Lakhsmi said.

"I'll be OK," Emily assured her. "I just need a little time. You can see why I don't tell people often."

"I can indeed," Lakhsmi agreed.

"Sometimes when people know, it's all they want to know about me," Emily continued. "I'm just that girl who was on the news that time. It gets on my nerves, so most people, I just don't want them to know about any of this. The only people I want to know this are the ones I really trust."

Emily looked up at Lakhsmi.

"Like you," she added.

"Thank you," Lakhsmi replied. "I am overwhelmed. I hope I can repay your trust in me some day."

"You already have," Emily told her. "By listening, and caring."

Emily saw Lakhsmi again the next week in class. Most of their conversation was either small talk or molecular biology, but afterwards Lakhsmi insisted on taking Emily for a coffee.

"I just wanted to check that you weren't too stressed after our talk the other night," Lakhsmi explained.

"No, I wasn't," Emily replied. "And I'm glad I did it. Somehow I feel better."

"It was a quite intense experience," Lakhsmi noted.

"It was," Emily agreed.

"I had something else I wanted to ask you," Lakhsmi said. "I am hoping this isn't moving too quickly, but since I lack any sort of subtlety or finesse, I am going to ask you directly. I enjoy your company immensely, Emily, and I would like to see you again of an evening very soon, except this time I was thinking it could be more of, well, a date. My apologies if this is not…"

Lakhsmi stopped talking. She must have seen the way Emily's face had lit up.

"Yes, thank you," Emily said. "That would be wonderful."

Paige was playing with her phone when she saw it. She had kept Emily's number. It had been so long since she had called her, but she could never bring herself to delete that number. Doing so would mean giving up. On the other hand, it had been a long time since she had had any real hope that she would have a chance to use that number. In the early days after the break up she would toy with herself, her thumb hovering over the dial button. Now, she barely gave it a thought.

Hanna had changed that. She had opened up a new possibility, one Paige hadn't dared to hope for.

But there was still a puzzle. Why were they asking to talk to Paige when Emily wasn't there? Did Emily even know about this? And why now?

Aisha was right. Paige had tried to get over Emily but failed.

As Paige admitted this to herself, another thought came into her head, one which also had been long banished.

What was Emily doing now? Right at this very minute?

It frustrated Paige that it was still a few weeks until break, when she would get to go back to Rosewood and maybe start to find some answers to her questions. Somehow, though, the prospect of getting answers energized her. Even if Emily had no interest in being with her ever again, at least Paige would know. And if Paige could know that Emily no longer hated her, then that would be better than what Paige had been living with all this time.

Paige put the phone down. Temptation comes at the strangest times, and she didn't want to mess things up now. Not again.

Paige froze.

It was such a simple thought, and it had come so easily to her. She messed things up. When Paige thought of everything that had happened, she thought about how she had messed things up. It felt so easy to see herself that way. Not as the girl who had been in an impossible situation, and had tried to save the person she cared about the most. Not as the girl who had taken action when everyone else had gone with the flow. Not as the girl who had risked everything but made it through.

She still saw herself as the girl who messed up.

No.

Not anymore.

She wanted to see Emily again, not because she needed Emily's approval, or for some sort of redemption, but because she loved Emily, and because she believed that Emily might still love her. Because they could be together again. Because they could be happy.