Author Note: The structure of this chapter is a little different than most of the other ones. You'll see what I mean when you start reading.

RECAP: After Kairi chose Namine's method of fixing Sora's heart in the previous chapter, Sora and Kairi woke up from being within the world inside his heart in the hospital. That's all you really need to know.

This chapter gave me hell . . . so I hope you enjoy it :D

"It was you, wasn't it?"

"Huh?"

"My heart . . . the scars . . . "

"Scars?"

"Look at the x-ray. They took pictures of it. They said my heart was completely healthy, it only looked damaged on the outside. See here? Like diamond-shaped chains crossing over my heart."

"Hmmm, it looks like an 'X.'"

"Huh . . . I didn't think of that."

"Let's not worry about it, okay? You should rest."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Huh?"

"You. You fixed my heart."

"I didn't do much."

"The doctors were wrong. I'm not healthy. I'm lucky to be alive. The scars are nothing compared to what happened inside me. Nothing at all."

"Sora, please, let's sleep. Can you do that? We should sleep. Just a little longer."

"Is that really what you want?"

"Yes."

"Kairi, we've been asleep for so long . . . we can't stay here forever."

"I just want to make sure we're ready. We've been through a lot. The more we rest the better."

". . . you mean you want to make sure you're ready."

"What?"

"Nothing. It's okay. We'll just sleep for now, okay?"

". . . okay."

Don't Be a Gentleman: Eye of the Storm

"Miss, Miss?"

I shifted away from the mirror. The dark patches under my eyes and cheekbones made me look more skinny than I felt. "Is it time for my medicine?"

"No, sweetie . . . do you think you could help us? Sora seems . . . agitated," she said. I felt like she was choosing her words carefully so as not to offend me. It had to be really bad.

I frowned. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. But I think it would be best if you came over. He'll probably calm down once he sees you."

I watched the way her shoulders shook and followed her to the bathroom. There were two other nurses already inside, both looking ghastly pale. One of them was hiding a syringe in one hand behind her back and I rolled my eyes. That is, until I saw his face.

He was hunched over in the bathtub, clutching his legs against himself tightly. It was a move to absorb the blows of a beat down, complete with a trembling bottom lip and wide eyes. Except those eyes were filled with hatred and disgust. They zeroed in on me and they widened a little more before narrowing. His sharp gaze bounced back and forth between the rest of us before settling back on me.

I swallowed. "What happened?"

The nurse elbowed me briefly in the ribs as her mouth stretched into a grin that was too unstable to be real. "Here we are. She's here. She'll make sure that nothing happens to you, okay? Perhaps you'll trust us not to hurt you now with her watching?"

She was speaking to Sora. I watched his body relax, but his face hadn't changed. The nurse closest to him took his silence to mean consent and brought her washcloth back to his pale skin. He bent his head back, screaming so loud that we all jumped back. "Get out! GET OUT!" He slammed his hands over his own eyes, shaking his head repeatedly. "D-Don't touch me . . . please, don't touch me . . . "

The nurses were in a panic. Clearly, their plan had backfired. The woman with the syringe moved to knock him out but I stepped in, pushing them aside and kneeling next to Sora. He was breathing heavily and wouldn't look at me. My heart hammered away at my lungs as I spoke. "Sora, they're only here to help."

He shook his head. "No . . . they're too strong. I can't . . . I can't . . . "

"You can't what?"

His whisper is just loud enough for me to hear it. "Their darkness . . . their darkness is too strong." He grabbed my hand, latching tightly onto me. Tears marred his cheeks and he shook. "I need to take it."

"No, you don't."

"I don't want to. I really don't. Please don't let them come near me."

"Sora, you'll be fine." I looked back at the nurses, hoping they would back me up. What I see instead makes my skin crawl. They're all sprawled along the ground, eyes closed in unnatural sleep. The syringe eyed me from afar, rolling next to my leg. I stared at it before looking at Sora. Darkness rippled out from his chest.

"Guess you spoke too soon," he chuckled, groaning as he curls up again, lazily watching the dark spirals of negative energy enter him from the nurse's bodies. "I'm sorry."

"I know." I hugged him, closing my eyes tightly before stabbing him in the back with the syringe.

"Kairi?"

I gasp, waking up from my restless sleep, dismissing the memory. "W-what?" I cringe internally as I watch him untie the black thread connecting our hands together. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Are you sure? The last time you did that you passed out. You shouldn't be standing for that long."

He gives me a small, sad smile. "Kairi, that was two weeks ago. I'll be fine."

I shake my head. "You hit your head pretty hard last time."

"Then we can call in a nurse."

"No, we can't."

He raises a single eyebrow. "Then what do you want to do?"

I sigh. "Just . . . I'll stay in there. Make sure nothing happens."

For a minute we just stood there, staring at the floor between us. Well, I stare at it, I don't know where he's looking. It's so quiet that I can almost make out the never-ending static coming from the TV in the corner of the room (which hasn't worked in months). The silence nearly forces me to speak when Sora breaks it with this long, lingering sigh. "Okay, we'll do it your way."

"Really?"

He shrugs. "Like you said, you'll be there to catch me if I fall." His smile was almost mocking, but his eyes reveal something else. "Okay?"

I nod once before pushing myself up and following him to the restroom. It's small and unflinchingly clean. I take a good, long hard look at myself in the mirror, touching my sunken cheeks. "I guess I need to eat more," I mutter, not really expecting an answer.

"You should." His rib cage protrudes, poking out from his pale stomach as he bends over, pushing down his pants.

I swallow as he continues undressing. "You're one to talk."

He exhales before biting his bottom lip as he reaches for his clothes, folding them neatly. "I eat enough. You can't blame me for getting distracted."

"Uh huh." I watch the way he moves, how his legs tense slightly as he leans forward to work the knob, twisting it and setting the water off. He shakes his head as the water cups his face before spiraling down his chest. I move and sit on the toilet seat. "How do you do that?"

He lifts his head slowly, eyes closed. "Do what?"

"I just don't get how you're so calm. About . . . well, everything."

"With you, I am. You've seen me at my worst. You saw the darkest parts of me, the things I was too scared to face myself. I have nothing left to hide from you." He rests a hand on the wall, breathing heavily.

"Sora?"

He blinks once, reaching for his washcloth. I notice his left leg twitch and I reach out as he falls forward, crashing against my chest. His fingers squeeze my shoulders tightly and he continues shaking. "Sora? Hey, stay with me."

"I'm . . . I'm fine." He avoids my face, lowering himself and sits on his heels. He closes his eyes again. "I'm awake."

I hand him the cloth then turn off the water. "Let's just stick with baths for now, okay?"

When I look down again, watching him hunch over, I can't help but think how small he looks, how his skin almost blends in with the gray bathtub. His grin reminds me of the scared nurse, a fake turn of the lips in submission. "Okay," he says quietly.

"Three months?" I could barely get out the words. I was still in shock.

The doctor in front of me wasn't helping much. He seemed a little irritated, glancing at Sora every few seconds with suspicion. "Yes, you were both in a coma for three months. Your friend, Riku, was with you for one month. We tried to keep the three of you together, but eventually we decided it was best to keep you both alone without him. When Sora's condition started getting worse, we decided it would be best to split you both up."

Sora frowned. "But we woke up."

"Yes, you did. Barely. We nearly lost you." The words themselves tugged at my heart painfully. But the doctor's tone was matter-of-fact, glaring at Sora with a look of apprehension. "Be grateful for your life, boy. And be grateful that the mayor took pity on a case I deemed worthless."

When Sora's eyes briefly flashed to purple I grabbed his arm from underneath the table and gave the doctor my best smile. "Thank you."

The doctor glanced at the clock and sweat dripped down his face. "Well, we all want this to go as smoothly as possible." The light above him made a buzzing sound before turning off. "What the-?!"

I gasped, shaking as Sora's fingers dissolved in my hand. I couldn't see anything in the dark. I searched for him wildly, barely making out a black, human-shaped heartless with blue eyes. I passed out before I could question it.

I open my eyes to a curving ceiling, frowning. "I'm not at the hospital," I say out loud, sitting up quickly and running to the calendar across from my bed, picking up the idle red marker on my desk. I cross out the current day with a small smile. "Two months out."

I dress quickly and prepare myself for much of the same. A slow day. A boring day. A normal day.

Just the way I like it.

The only thing that draws me out of my fortress of solitude (Mom's words) is the smell coming from the kitchen. Ever since I returned home my mom has been the one filling me in on everything I've missed while my dad has been consulting with the mayor. She told me that he'd be back later today specifically, but I had no idea why she placed emphasis on it.

That is, until I reach the living room and see the colorful confetti and poorly wrapped presents lying in wait on the living room table. "Surprise!" shouts hit me from all angles, surrounding me with laughter and cheerful guffaws. But only one person's yell can fill up an entire room like that.

"Selphie?!" Is all I'm able to get out before a wiry frame slams into me, trapping me next to a body bursting with enthusiasm.

"You've had me worried sick! First you disappear from school then you're in the hospital for five months, and now Sora and Riku are taking therapy?! What has this world come to?" She playfully bops me on the head. "But not my girl. You stood up straight, got out of that hospital, met the mayor, and you're getting straight As in summer school, and-"

"Selphie, the hell?!" She had me lost at "therapy". "My god, woman, breathe!"

She sucked in a deep breath then practically screeched, "I missed you!"

I nod, waiting for her to finish. It was a sharp slap into reality. Seeing Selphie now with longer hair, a slightly deeper voice, and her unbreakable bear hug . . . she was part of before. But I belong in after, and I don't know how I'll interact with her now that I've changed so much.

My fears are swept away partially when I see two people for the first time since I got out of the hospital. My mouth hangs open slightly as they both smile at me (fake smiles).

Riku's hair barely reaches his shoulders now. Seeing him with shorter hair is strange enough, but his body is more toned and tense. If he wasn't smiling, I'd say he looked like he was in the middle of a battlefield.

I pay the most attention to Sora though. His smile is a little crooked, almost a smirk. There's a light ring of purple outlining his blue eyes, which I can see only because I'm so used to checking his eyes for warning signs. He also cut his hair, but not by much, leaving it a little longer than Riku's drastic new length. His black T-shirt hugs his chest tightly, easily outlining his ab muscles. He's wearing his characteristic baggy pants and big shoes, but they're as dark as his shirt, which seem to shake next to his light skin.

Even the way he sits is unsettling. It's the most relaxed I've seen him, lounging on the couch with his hands behind his head while he keeps changing the position of his feet. It's a casual pose, one I've seen long enough to know that he's impatient about something. But . . . It's the most Sora-like act I've seen him do, like how things were before.

I swallow, walking towards them, leaning over the couch. "You guys came."

Sora stops tapping his left foot and fully faces me, grinning. "Of course we would."

Riku chuckles. "We wouldn't miss your birthday."

I try to keep the tears at bay. I don't want to cry in front of them. "Like old times, huh?"

They both nod. Before the silence can get awkward, I force myself to ask what's been on my mind. "How's therapy going?"

Riku shrugs. "It's fine. I'm almost done. They were mainly checking for memory loss. When I first woke up I was very weak . . . but also happy. It wasn't natural though, and I had to take some medicine to help mellow out my mood. They thought I had a manic disorder or something."

I frown. "So . . . your darkness has grown back?" I whisper, mainly so that Selphie doesn't hear it.

"Yeah. Once that happened I was able to control my moods."

"Huh." I shift my gaze to Sora. "And you?"

"They're making me take this anger management class. It's really boring." He rolls his eyes. "It's kind of stupid. I know how to do half the stuff they're talking about. And then they give me these tests to see how I'll react. I feel like I'm being experimented on."

I bite my bottom lip. "Is it helping?"

At first, his facial expression screams, "Were you even listening to me?", but a second later his glare turns into a look of resignation. "A little. It depends on the day . . . And how much darkness they have."

"Really?" I listen intently as I hear Selphie chatting with my mom in the kitchen about her favorite cake recipes.

"Yeah." He grips the couch. "It's easy now. I don't take on anything that isn't my own. Doesn't mean I don't get angry when I see what it does to others."

His change in tone sets off a few alarm bells, but I push it all away. "Hey, as selfish as this sounds, you can be surprised how much you can help others just by helping yourself," I say in reassurance.

He stares at me for a long time, but before he can respond Selphie comes out with the cake. My eyes widen. "Already?"

Selphie giggles. "I just want to make sure you have time to open the gifts. Your dad didn't want the party to run to late, right?"

I sigh. "Yeah, we have a lot to discuss today later. It's pretty complicated." No wonder my birthday passed me by. I wanted to forget the conversation I would have to have with him today.

Selphie blinks. "You told Sora and Riku about the situation, right?"

Sora and Riku are passing each other secret messes through their special brand of staring. Selphie is only making this worse. I definitely told her too early.

I cough and take the cake from her, setting it on the table. "Later, Selphie."

Riku gives me a small smile. "You can tell us anything, Kairi."

Sora nods, putting his hands behind his head. "Yeah, no one is judging you here. Not today."

I snicker. "You guys are so obvious."

"Oh well, can't say we didn't try." Sora claps his hands, rubbing them together as he stares at the cake.

Riku gives him a warning stare. "Dude, you can't sneak a piece. Not from birthday cake."

"I wasn't even thinking of doing that."

"You're too easy to read."

"I know. Deal with it."

They continue bantering back and forth and it brings a sad smile to my face. They're trying so hard for me, they're here for me. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I saw them close up. I've really been a coward when it comes to meeting up with them.

Still, I can't be reckless about it. My time isn't entirely my own right now.

The office I'm in is one most kids rarely see. The man behind the desk had a white beard that filled up his face. His grin was pleasant, but his eyes showed nothing but sadness. "It's been a long time, Kairi."

I tried to smile but I couldn't. I wanted to see my dad, sleep in my own bed, get away from Sora. I needed a break. "Mayor," I said with a small bow.

"It feels like yesterday when the boys found you on the shore. I remember how small you were back then, how lucky you were to survive."

"I was lucky. I owed it all to you . . . And now we all do. Sora, Riku, me . . . you did your best to keep us together, even when we couldn't speak for ourselves."

"That I did. When you first arrived I figured that a normal life was the only true blessing we could give you. Despite the mystery shrouding your past, I believed you could live in peace with the family that I picked out with you." He glanced over various files with a pensive expression. "But I see now that your father isn't the man I once knew."

I swallowed. Never in my life did the nerves get to me as badly as in that moment. "What do you mean?"

"Your adoption was a very special process, Kairi. I wanted to make sure that you would be protected and supported. But these last few check-ups are disconcerting. This is the second time you've been kidnapped while in Paul's custody."

"I was in a coma," I said with a controlled voice.

"Before that your mother filed a complaint with the police. You were returned the night before by Sora, but that doesn't change the level of danger you were placed in." He sat up straight. "I understand a hard worker when I see one. I have never doubted your father's fortitude of character . . . but these events are not in his favor."

I walked a little closer, not recognizing the trembling whispers pushing past my mouth. "Please . . . please don't take me away from him. I don't need a new guardian. I've been happy with him. None of this is his fault."

"I am not placing blame on anyone. I will take your feelings into account, but this is basically a trial period. You are still a minor. For now, I still have jurisdiction over who is fit to protect you."

I bowed my head. "Right."

He stood up, pushing his chair back and walked towards the window. It offered an almost panoramic view of the island. I watched as his eyes trailed the sunset. His tone was soft and airy, as if he were speaking in a dream. "I know it's been challenging. These past few months have given us all perspective. It's sobering to realize that you're not invincible."

"Yeah . . . we're not."

"Dad?"

His body straightens and I watch as the muscles in his face shift. His eyes are a little red, a deep contrast against his thin, smiling lips. "Kind of late for you to be spying on me don't you think?"

"I couldn't sleep. And neither could you, apparently." I jump onto the couch, staring at the black, empty TV screen. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out how to get rid of the headache your friend gave me."

I laugh. "She was on her best behavior today."

He rolls his eyes. "Let's not go there."

"Heh, well I have to say, it wasn't a bad way to spend my birthday."

"Not at all."

". . . aren't you tired?"

"Sure I am." He moves to turn on the TV.

"Dad."

"Have the nightmares gone away yet?"

I gasp. "Well . . . uhhhh . . . "

"Exactly. So, let me be the parent, and let's watch something boring so that we can both go to sleep."

"Nightmares are nightmares. What matters is what I feel when I'm awake." I lean against his shoulder. "I feel safe here."

The silence lasts long enough for me to feel nervous, but eventually he wraps an arm around my shoulder. "Good enough for me."

I open my mouth, hoping to get a word in about the new rules and curfew times we discussed, but when he starts changing the channels the vague, never-ending sounds of static force my eyes shut. Before long I'm down for the count.

I set the book back in place as the title sinks into my head. "It looks interesting, but I think I'll pass on this one."

I nearly take back my statement after my ribs suffer from Selphie's unavoidable fingers. I push her hands, reigning in the inevitable laughter. "Hey! Don't do that, we're in the library."

She smirks, placing her hands on her hips. "Girl, a promise is a promise. You were supposed to read it."

"I haven't finished the last book you recommended for me. Trust me, I'm good." I smile and try to keep the tension out of my voice. "Besides, I'm not really in the mood for any romance stories."

"Not in the mood?" Her mock look of distain sends a dagger through my chest. "As if. Romance is life."

Annoyed glances from the surrounding students cuts my mental retort in half and I sigh, lowering my voice to a whisper. "It's not all it's cracked up to be. Really, I could care less." As I talk I try to lead her out of the library.

"Oh no, you do care. You're the one who introduced me to these books in the first place, remember?" She crosses her arms, moving ahead of me and out through the front doors, taking the hint. "This isn't about your change of taste in genres. This just screams of Sora."

I bite my bottom lip. "So what if it is? It's my choice."

"I know, I totally get that. But . . ." Her face morphs, as if she's tasted something bad. Then she rubs her eyes and stares at me long enough to make me squirm. "You love him."

"Well, yeah."

"And he loves you."

"Yeah, last time I checked." I fidget.

Her hands flash up in the universal display of submission. "And . . . you're currently single."

" . . . yes . . . technically speaking."

"Okay, I'm really confused here."

Without even realizing it, my arms automatically move to shield my body as my tone plummets down a notch. "It's complicated, okay? Just drop it."

Selphie's expression is unreadable. Before I know it I'm at her locker and she uses it as an excuse to avoid my face, which is never a good sign. "Look, I'd hate to break it to you but you're not invisible. Everyone can see the way you look at each other. It's painful."

I blink. "Who's looking? Not me."

Selphie rolls her eyes. "Come on, Kairi. You think I can't tell when you're lying?"

"You'd be surprised." I chuckle half-heartedly as my stomach twists into knots.

The slam of her locker causes me to jump. I stare at the small dent that formed while she taps her leg nonchalantly, impatience shooting out of the tips of her fingertips fully for me to see. "I don't mean to push. I'm just . . . concerned."

"Why? We're fine. Things between me and Sora are fine, along with Riku for that matter." I hold myself up and square my shoulders. "I'm happy."

"Your eyes say otherwise. You've been through a lot, I get that. I know when to leave well enough alone. But after everything that's happened, you owe it to yourself to go after something you want."

It takes a few seconds for everything to click. When the memory returns blood instantly rushes to my cheeks and I run a hand through my hair. I don't like where this is going. "It's different now. I'm not that shallow."

Or that desperate (hopefully).

She pats me on the back. "There's no shame in it. Who knows, he'll probably be open to the idea. You guys can relieve a lot of stress."

"Sora and I aren't ready for anything like that," I mutter, messing with the fraying straps threatening to tear the bottom of my sweater apart.

"How do you know? Are you sure that's how you both feel or just you?"

I frown. "We're going to be late for class." I push past her. "I'll explain later."

"Well, that would be nice. Holding certain things in is bad for you." She follows along, rubbing her hands together as she looks up at the ceiling, pursing her lips. "A lot of your problems would be solved if you were just more honest with yourself."

I grip my desk, staring out at the window. "I'd like to avoid the truth, at least for a little while longer."

A while longer . . . until things are more stable at least. It's time to be selfless for once.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sora."

"Oh! Kairi . . . uhhh . . . hey."

"You sound disappointed."

"Eh?! No! You're just . . . I didn't expect . . . you just caught me off guard is all."

"Haha, we're just talking on the phone."

"You know how I am with this stuff. My answering machine sounds better than me."

"I remember that. You once told me you spent, like, an hour making that voice mail."

"Don't judge."

"Course not. It's just silly to me. You sound fine."

"Yeah, well . . . that was ages ago. It's not the same."

"Sure. Anyway, when are you going to stop being a chicken and come over?"

"I'm not avoiding anybody here."

"Riiiiggghhhht. You know, I didn't know that tutoring session would be a one-time thing. Riku has work, so he has more of an excuse than you."

". . . your dad makes me nervous."

"What? He doesn't blame you."

"No, he's fine. I don't think he hates me . . . but . . . I don't know, he's just so serious. I feel like I can't relax there."

"I think that's what any boy feels around his girlfriend's parents."

"Girlfriend? Wait . . . I'm still your boyfriend?"

"I don't know, are you?"

"I . . . I thought . . . you wanted to take things easy or something."

"It's possible to be together without the extra romance stuff. Sure, we haven't been public for a while, but that doesn't mean we're not together. We've been through a lot, if people don't get that, well . . . screw them."

"I think boyfriend and girlfriend sounds . . . wrong. Like . . . in my mind we're together, but if someone asks me if you're my girlfriend . . . well, I would say no. You're more than just a girlfriend to me . . . I don't know, it's weird."

"No! No, I totally get that. We should come up with our own couple name or something."

"Hahahaha . . . no."

"Secretly in that fluffy heart of yours, you want it."

"Fluffy heart? Okay, okay, where's the real Kairi? You can go ahead and bring her back now."

"I don't know, maybe Kairi is being kidnapped and you'll just have to come and rescue her."

"Hmmmm, not the best idea."

"Why not?"

"I think I would just kidnap her myself."

"Says the chicken."

"I could say the same thing about you."

"Your mom is more sensitive than my dad. Besides, I actually attacked her."

". . . I turned her into a heartless."

"You're her son. She's forgiven you for that, yeah?"

"Of course she has. That's not the point. It's just . . . well . . . I don't know. She still acts weird around me. It's like walking on glass around her. If I raise my voice at all she freezes up."

"It will take some time. Don't make it too personal. I think she just doesn't want you to be upset."

"I guess . . ."

"Okay, I'm coming over."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I have something I wanted to share with you in secret anyway."

"Really? What kind of secret?"

"Let's just say, a secret that makes most guys run for the hills."

"That bad huh?"

"I'm just warning you now. It's an old secret though, so . . . like, try not to freak out. We're both mature people here."

"Uh huh . . . you sure you want to tell me?"

"Yep, I just want to get it over with. So, how brave do you think you are?"

"Brave enough."

"Then open the door."

The bravado sinks in my throat the moment he opens the door. I had just reached his house and I hadn't expected him to be right there the moment I told him to let me in. Needless to say, I somehow manage to show my surprise in a dignified way. "That was quick."

He smirks. "Not so easy in person, is it?"

"Yeah, yeah, move over." I immediately make a beeline for the couch, jumping into it as if I was diving into a pool. "OMG . . . I've missed this couch."

"Some best friend you are. I don't get a hug?"

"Depends on how well you take this." I sit up abruptly. This would be a nice addition to the long list of conversations I had ever rehearsed before confronting Sora about an idea I'd have. It's something I should stop doing considering every time I end up butchering my seemingly perfect script.

He laughs and sits next to me. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Really?" I bite my bottom lip. "No laughing."

"Oh, so this is a serious secret?" He raises a single eyebrow and I push him. "Okay, okay, I'll be good. Promise."

I suck in a breath. "Okay. So . . . here's the thing. I used to have a, uh . . . BDSM fetish."

His eyes widen briefly and his mouth presses into a thin line. He tilts his head. "You mean like the stuff where people put dog collars on and make each other their slaves?"

I clear my throat, messing with my hair. Crap, he's going to think I'm crazy for this . . . or twist it into something else. "Not always. I mean, it can mean a variety of different things."

"That . . . does not sound like you at all." He chuckles without humor. His eyes flash briefly.

I hold up one hand. "Let me finish." I wait for him to look composed before continuing. "Look, before the darkness started carving a hole into your heart, we were . . . . well, we were the perfect couple. We were always cute, we were sensible. You treated me with respect and . . . like a princess, really."

He nods once while giving me a small smile. "Right."

"Yeah, so, it was all really sweet. And I could understand why you'd want to treat me like that in public. But after everything we had experienced with the heartless and nobodies . . . I wanted to be seen as an equal." I took in another deep breath before pulling my legs up and hugging my knees against my chest. "I wanted to be strong, I wanted you to look at me like how you'd look at Riku. As someone who could challenge you, someone you could fight along side with."

"I . . . I'm not sure I understand." Before I could protest he continued. "I thought I was already doing that. Riku and I, we never meant to exclude you from anything. I mean, even if we've known each other longer, there was never a problem letting you join whatever we were doing."

I give him a sharp look and he grins sheepishly. "Okay, maybe Riku had some issues with it. But, I thought . . . I've always seen you as an equal. I mean, from a fighting standpoint it was different, but I never treated you like deadweight."

"Yeah, but you didn't take me very seriously either." I look down at the ground. "I know it's not even. I couldn't go toe to toe with either of you back then. What I'm saying is, I just . . . I wanted you to humor me. Treat me like a fellow warrior instead of just a tag-along-girlfriend. I wanted you to handle me with more force instead of like a doll."

I raise one of my hands up, examining my fingernails. "I remember I used to have these dreams. We never went very far in them. But, there was always this sense of mystery to the whole thing. Every time you would blindfold me and . . . you would whisper into my ear about what you wanted to do to me."

I smile softly. "It's kind of ironic now. I was lost in the darkness of each fantasy. It's like those dreams were an omen of what was to come, a warning that I shouldn't try to shape you into something out of silly daydreams. But . . . I couldn't stop. I kept having those dreams, and each time you would steadily get more rough with me."

"Kairi . . . "

"I kept this to myself. But I was curious. I wondered what it would be like if you really let yourself go. A way to make you slip up in the gentleman's act. Just once I wanted to catch the desire in your eyes." I shake my head. "Selphie kept filling me up with these crazy ideas. There's a set of clothes in the back of my closet. I was supposed to wear those to seduce you. It's all silly and stupid."

I let my legs drop, trying not to shake. Telling the truth "In a twisted sense of fate, I got what I wanted. Your full attention was on me, and not in a good way. You stared at me like I was the only person that mattered, like nothing in this universe would stop you from having your way with me . . . but that was never really you. But you got a front seat, you were right there every step of the way as some force you didn't understand took control of your own body right underneath your nose. You could only watch what you assumed to be someone pure get corrupted."

I watch as my knees buckle inward, then my vision turns blurry with tears. "You were wrong, of course. I was never pure. It's the other way around. I only served to corrupt you more. I made the entire situation worse." I wipe at my eyes. "I was about to try to bring about a change in your personality by force. And there you were, doing the best you could to protect me, to save my heart . . . a shallow heart that was already lost."

"K-Kairi . . . you don't have to say anymore."

"I'm almost done. I needed to say all this. I know I told you before back then, that there was darkness in my heart. I'm only human. Our relationship was good, you were the perfect guy . . . and I almost lost you thinking that there was something wrong with you. I let my own insecurities get to me, and that added to the price we all had to pay. Whatever we are now . . . I won't take it for granted. I won't make the same mistake twice."

I swallow and dare to glance his way. His expression shocks me into silence. His eyes, wide-eyed and a little red, send chills down my back. His lip parts open slightly, then he leans in forward, whispering. "I see it."

"W-what do you see?"

"I can see your darkness." His voice shakes at the end of his statement.

I blink slowly. I didn't know whether or not to be relieved or, worse, feel guilty. Throughout these past couple of months I had heard stories from Sora about the forms darkness could take. He could pick it up on any person, he was nearly as acute as Riku during his recovery. However, neither of them had ever mentioned seeing the darkness physically present around me.

Whatever had been shielding me was gone now. Sharing that secret somehow changed things. There was a lot less that I could hide from Sora now. I can't help but think back to that time, back when I saw him being controlled like a rag doll held together with purple strings.

Was it like that for him now? Does this scare him?

"Does it look bad?" I force myself to ask despite my unreliable, frail nerves peeling me apart.

I suffer through a couple seconds in silence as the color slowly returns to his face. He looks down, working his gaze up from my toes to my thighs and chest. He doesn't blink, looking back at my face. Before I can get his name out he's instantly in front of me, kissing me with such fervor that I almost see stars. I shudder as he runs his fingers down my chest.

The knots in my stomach unravel and I sink deeper into him, clutching his shoulders as he presses me deeper into the couch. "S-Sora?" I try to hold back a moan, shaking as he tilts his head and kisses my neck. "I don't . . . what are you . . . ?"

He pulls his head back, rubbing the spot he kissed with his thumb. I wince slightly, realizing that he had applied pressure to the long forgotten scar on my neck. He closes his eyes, bending down and leans into my chest with his ear pushed against my heart. "Are you scared?" He asks.

I stare at his fingers that are now wrapped harmlessly around my arms. I feel my heart beat bursting through my chest so hard it almost aches. "I'm . . . I'm confused." I should be asking you that, Sora.

"Give me a minute."

"Uh, okay."

It's agony to wait, but I sit through it. I look anywhere but his face as other sounds overwhelm me. His deep breaths push against my side as he waits, tracing small circles on my legs until my heart beat slows down. Even after I'm calm he doesn't push away immediately. Instead I get a clear view of his eyes as he lifts his head, blinking and staring at my lips. "You taste like it, too."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're just like everyone else." His smile surprises me. He looks almost . . . relieved. "You know, I think a small part of me still believed that you . . . well, that you were different. That you didn't have any darkness within you. I know better now, and it just makes things easier."

"How so?" I rub my neck absently, then stop when I realize what I'm doing.

He sits up straight with his legs crossed, twiddling his thumbs as he concentrates. "I'm beginning to understand that everyone tends to fall back on versions of others that they create in their own head. Sometimes its because of admiration. Other times its to cover up things that people don't like about themselves. It's like what Ventus told me. I created a perfect version of you in my head, but that wasn't fair to myself or you. Not only that, but I ignored and dismissed my own flaws instead of accepting them."

He stares at his hands. "I don't have to be the perfect boyfriend, I don't have to be the perfect best friend . . . I just need to be the best me. And even if I do get caught up in a dark place, I shouldn't be afraid." His gaze finally returns back to me. "After all, it's something everyone faces, right? No one is exempt. I can't take away anyone's darkness for them, because that would take away from their own journey they're facing. So . . . I know better now."

He reaches out, tentively pushing away a lock of hair from my eyes. "Even if you see yourself differently, even if you're not as perfect as I thought you were, I still love you. Whether or not we should stay together or just be friends is up to you. But I won't hold this against you. You've done a lot for me these past couple of months. It's my turn to reassure you."

"Sora . . ." I smile, blinking quickly to slow the tears streaming down my face. "Thanks. I needed that."

"It's no problem." He spreads his arms open wide. "Want to cuddle?"

For some reason the question breaks the dam to a ton of laughter. I crawl into his arms with a giggle. "You would always ask that at that at such random moments."

"You looked like you could use another hug." I feel his lips brush softly against my forehead. "I'm just honored that you're still willing to do this with me."

"Thanks for not freaking out about what I said. I thought it would bother you a lot."

"Well . . . I'm just not sure what to say yet." He takes in a deep breath. "But, I do have a confession I want to share."

I smile, completely at ease. "I thought you had nothing left to hide."

"Heh, it's not really a big secret like yours. Just a bigger explanation behind how I felt about . . . some things. But," he gestures to the clock in the corner of the kitchen. "It's going to have to wait for another time."

I frown. "You said you talked to Ventus. Does it have to do with that?"

"Partially. It makes more sense at our island."

I laugh. "The island that's still off limits?"

"Right, as if that rule can really keep us away from it." He smirks.

"Well, I'll trust you this time around. What time do you want to meet there?"

"Probably in the afternoon. Is Saturday good for you?"

"Sure. I'll be there."

"Good." He gets up from the couch, rubbing his hands. "Well, I better start making dinner now."

"That's nice of you." I smile, heading for the front door, feeling strangely warm in the places he had hugged me. "Try not to eat all the food while you're doing it."

"I make no promises." He winks before tying an apron around his waist.

I shake my head and walk out, humming slightly as I shut his door. Before I take the first step back to my own place I can't help but stop to think that throughout the talk I nearly forgot the fact that his eyes had been a mixture of yellow and purple the entire time.

"He saw it."

Riku takes a sip of his coffee while glaring at his newspaper. I would have thought that he wasn't listening if it hadn't been for the terse yet firm, "Saw what?" He was scanning the headlines dubiously, his frown deepening with each passing second.

My mouth was doing the opposite. "My darkness. Sora saw it."

His eyes freeze before slowly working there way back to my face. Riku's expression is unreadable, but I can tell from his slow blinks that he disapproves of my attitude about this peculiar fact. "Huh . . . well, that's unsettling."

"What do you mean? This is perfect." I stare at a couple laughing across from us with a smile. "It's hard to explain, but yesterday . . . I really felt like we made a deeper connection. We can actually be fully honest with each other now. I just feel so relieved, Riku."

Riku takes another sip of his coffee, but the motion seems forced. "Look, Kairi, I know you've been under a lot of pressure. You can finally relax for once. You may have had a good day with Sora yesterday, but there's no telling how he'll be today or a week from now. He's been doing well in counseling. His program will be ending soon. Be honest with him then."

"Pressure? Riku, I could use some drama in my life. I can't stay in my bubble at home forever. I mean, school is one thing, I don't want it there. But now that it's getting close to winter things are settling down. I want to be able to hang out with my friends and just not have to worry. You and Sora were my first friends here . . . if I can reach this state with both of you then I'll be truly happy. That's why I called you to tell you about this."

His smile was guilty and resigned. "Kairi . . . I like my privacy. When I get upset, I make myself busy. I work out, I read, I tend to get more jobs than I can handle. This is how I recover. Sora goes with the flow. He rides his own moodswings into the sunset and off his own freaking cliffs." He straightens out his newspaper before folding it. "If you think you can handle that, then good for you. But if there's any doubt in your heart whatsoever then just cut it off and keep your distance. He's more mature now, he'll understand."

I clear my throat. "And I thought you were done with being my couples counselor."

"Considering the black eye he gave me when we first met outside the hospital, I feel obliged." He shrugs. "Guess it's a habit."

"Huh, he didn't tell me that." I lick my lips and rub my hands together just to give them something to do. "Why did he do it?"

"Again, I got out a couple of months before you. By then my own darkness had returned to the level I had it at." He finishes his coffee and sighs. "Apparently, seeing mine freaked him out . . . according to him."

I frown. "He wasn't like that with me."

"If he was scared, he probably tried to hide it from you." Riku smirks, standing up and brushing off his collar. "He's gotten a little better at acting. It's almost impressive. His nose still twitches when he lies though, in case you're wondering."

"Yeah, yeah, well, that didn't happen during our conversation."

"Course not," he mutters unconvincingly. "Well, I gotta head to work. Thanks for the coffee."

I smile softly. "Bring back any memories?"

"Considering Ansem takes up most of my past I try to look ahead as much as possible." He returns my smile with a shy crooked one. "But this was fun."

"Take care, Riku."

"Sure thing." He tilts his head then pats me on the head. "Just be careful."

"Right." For some unexplainable reason I can't help blurting out an obvious truth. "I miss his blue eyes."

Riku gasps then he scratches the back of his head, blushing and staring off to the side. "Yeah . . . me too."

Riku's warning reverberates in my head as I paddle to our lone island. But it's hard to stay cautious when walking in such soft sand. That's the thing about this island in particular. With our beaten up treehouse surrounded by shrubbery, the paopu fruit, the caves, and the waterfall at its center . . . there's always been youthful energy here.

With the soft tide coming in, it's hard not to feel calm. A few feet from the shore I see him crouching, picking at the sand. From how he's bending all I can make out is his hair exploding out unevenly. It's nice to know that some things never change.

I run up to him. "Hey."

"Hey," he says, eyes still on the water. "How are you feeling?"

"Great. Life is my friend right now." I grin. "I'm just really grateful these days, you know?"

"Yeah. I hear you." He leans back, making a snow angel motion. His eyes are yellow today, but in the light I can make out spots of purple and blue. I try not to stare, but the colors just pull me in. His voice is the only thing that keeps me from slipping into his dull gaze. "Do you remember Aqua?"

The question startles me more than it should. "Well, I wish I didn't." That crazy woman invaded my dreams once every few weeks when I first got out of the hospital. There was something about her smile, her determination to break us down, that brought dread into my heart in a way Sora's possessive puppetmaster never could. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, when I first saw your darkness that day . . . it reminded me of her. I'm just wondering if there's a connection." He stretches out his legs. "Ventus and Vanitas exist within my heart, but Terra and Aqua weren't really there. The people we met were twisted versions of Ventus' memories . . . and Vanitas too I guess based off how Ventus explained it. It was confusing."

I look back at him in disbelief only to be frozen in place as his eyes meet mine unflinchingly. His mouth pulls up into a small smirk. "Must be hard to look at."

I feign innocence. "Look at what?"

He exhales, closing his eyes. "The eyes are a gateway into the soul."

I clap. "Nice. Where did you get that?"

"Some crappy book. It's a part of the program." He reaches out towards the sky, blocking the sun's glare from his face. "I can't wait till I'm done with that bullshit."

"That bad, huh?" I grab one of his hands. "You're almost done."

He squeezes my fingers tightly. "I don't know, Kai." He sits up, facing me. His face morphs and I watch as his bottom lip trembles. "I'm don't think this is helping. In the end, my thoughts are still the same and they don't seem to be going away any time soon." He shakes. "I feel like I'm losing myself."

"Hey, I didn't save you just for you to turn around and give up. You can fight this." I give him a light nudge. "You saved the worlds twice. Take this time to fix yourself up. No one is blaming you here."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew why I brought you here."

When he shudders I nearly pull my hand back. It's as if a chill has passed between us. His knuckles are white with tension. I swallow. "Why did you, Sora?"

He lets go of my hand. "I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to use you as a crutch." He stares out towards the main islands, eyes narrowed into slits. "I guess I wanted to make sure . . . I wouldn't lose control."

"Sora, that was only once. The doctor you attacked is fine now. You even apologized to him in person." I attempt to grab his hand but he pulls it away. I frown. Apparantly, Riku was right about the mood swings. "Not everyone here understands what's happening. You're doing the best you can. You can't let anyone else get to you."

He walks further into the tide, staring as the water shifts the wet sand around him. "You know, we're miles away from anyone out here. It's so calm here . . . it's very private. Anything could happen here, and no one would know about it. Anything imaginable." His fingers twitch and curl up into fists at his sides. "I could seriously hurt you . . . and I could get away with it. Why trust me at a place like this?"

I sigh. "Because you're a good person. Because maybe I know a few things considering how long we've known each other."

He turns, face unreadable. "Good intentions doesn't change anything. I still messed up things between us, between all of us. I can't even speak to Riku with a straight face." His gaze lingers on the scar on my neck. "And who knows what else is in our hearts. In the places we haven't explored."

I suck in a breath, carefully choosing my words. "Well . . . you're not alone in feeling this way." I stand beside him. "It's not all a bad thing. Knowing what's in your heart, knowing what you want and acting on it . . . there's honor in that. Sure, you were misguided this time around, but you made it back before it was too late. You're aware and, again, that's more than most. I'm happy I got to accompany you, if, you know, it made the whole thing easier to handle."

It's silent for a long time before he speaks again. "I wouldn't have survived without you. I know that." I can see the struggle take over his face before he relaxes his shoulders and gives me a shy glance. "And, if our situation had been reversed, I would have done the same."

I laugh. "You're too sweet. Really."

"I'm serious." He grabs both of my hands, tugging me closer. "Yesterday when I saw your darkness I thought I would be mad. I thought that maybe my view of you would change or that things would be awkward between us. But . . . I just want to know more. You praised me a lot yesterday, but I also realized that I really never took the time to ask you what you'd really want from me. I'm ready to listen now."

A mix of both excitement and hesitation had me chuckling darkly. "Eh, what I want is weird."

"That doesn't matter to me." He shrugs. "As long as we both agree to it, and it doesn't put our lives in danger, who cares?"

Well, that's one way of putting it. I put my hands on my hips, look him up and down. I push past my own guilt and ask the hardest question on my list. "So if I asked you to hit me, would you do it?"

He blinks then he lifts a hand to my face, sliding it down my cheek and neck. "Yeah." I see two warring emotions clashing in his eyes; a form of acceptance and something else.

Against my own norms, I decide to be impulsive. "Okay. Then do it."

Quicker than I expect, his hand on my cheek reels back and in a snap-like motion, smashes back into my face. I take a few steps back, touching my throbbing skin and count my breaths as my heart beat skyrockets.

He actually did it. Without hesitating he just did it.

Images bombard my mind's eye as I tumble through a bunch of emotions. It was really a stupid thing to ask. There were countless ways to experience his strength. Back in the early dating days just him carrying me was a thrill in and of itself, but I couldn't help but long for different types of touch.

I blame Riku and Sora's sparring matches.

He interrupts my thoughts, gripping my shoulder firmly with one hand and lifting my face up with the other hand. He barely glances at my cheek before turning his attention back to me, eyes roaming my face as if it's a complicated code he's trying to decipher. "How did that feel?"

I test the waters with a smile, not answering his question. "You're strong," is all I can say without giggling like a maniac. I take inner notes and remind myself to never drink coffee again.

Confusion clouds his eyes but he returns my smile with a small one. "It's not like I was trying or anything. I didn't want to bruise your face."

I chuckle. "I never really thought of that." I move back and raise up my arms, removing my shirt up as I do it. I hear him gasp softly but I don't stop, taking it off. I move to remove my shorts but my hands freeze at the waist. "Do you mind if I . . ?"

He blushes. "Are you sure?"

I nod, also blushing. "Yeah, I want you to see . . . and I want to see you too. I want to save this memory, to see your full body here in my mind, not at the hospital."

His face continues to turn red, but his smile is genuine. The yellow in his eyes darkens and for a split second I'm lost in an emotional sea of blue before his eyes turn back to normal. "Okay."

After I undress I wait until he does the same. It doesn't take long for us to close the distance and hug each other, but it's different than any hug we've ever shared before. His hands rest harmlessly on my back, sometimes squeezing or digging into my skin. We are pressed so tightly against each other that I can feel his heart beating. I focus on it so closely that I almost don't hear his next few words.

He leans forward a little, whispering into my ear. "Do you want me to do anything else?"

"Yeah, I do. But let me hold you for a little longer." I look at our shimmering reflection in the water. We look pretty poised and free despite the fact that what we are jumping into unknown territory that could permanently change the way we view each other and our world permanently. So many things began on this island. I met Sora and Riku here, I lost my heart here, and I entered Sora's heart twice starting from this small plot of sand.

It seems like there's always a storm on the horizon, surrounding this deceivingly peaceful world in chaos. But I can be grateful for the peace, no matter how long it lasts.

At least this time, I'm the one choosing to leave the eye of the storm.

I. Am. Done.

Heck yeah! WHOOOOOOOOOOO . . . I am so freaking tired.

So, yeah, I've been working on this chapter for eons it seems. I have never had to work this hard on a chapter, but endings are always hard and my perfectionistic self made this process so much worse. I literally rewrote this chapter three times, deleting and inserting many different scenes.

And, for some ridiculous reason, my mind kind of wants to write an epilogue for this. It would probably be M-rated, but that sort of depends on you guys, honestly. If you're all satisfied with just this chapter here, then I'm satisfied cause . . . this was extremely long.

It has been such a long journey to this point. I want to thank all of you for supporting me and taking the time to share your thoughts if you did. This story never would have come this far without you guys. Romance has never been an easy subject for me, and this was my first major Sokai multi-chapter story, but with all that in mind I'm pretty happy with how far it came for what it is. Thanks for jumping on the ride with me.

Justice T.