Hi, hello! Again, I am so sorry it took me a week! School's hectic, my home situation, too. Hope you enjoy it.

TRIS

It felt good to be on the road. The bumpy roads didn't make me think much about Zeke and Hana. I always liked traveling, especially by train. I never knew why I liked it so much, but this road trip gave the answer. It made my head clear, it calmed me down. The view was pathetic. You could see the war destroyed it. Trees were lying over the road and the man who drove the car – I didn't know him – had to avoid every single one of them. You could see he was used to is. His drive style was comforting. The first time we drove this road was horrible. I couldn't remember who the driver was, must have been because me nearly dying. But I remember how the ride felt. And let me tell you, it wasn't great.
Tobias kept looking out of the window. If you just looked at his face you couldn't see he was nervous, because he trained himself to let it all inside. Tobias knew how to hide his feelings, but most of the time he forgot something. He fumbled. I couldn't blame him, I did the same thing. He fumbled with his nails. His fingernails were completely gnawed.
I wanted to be there for him, wanted to take away this burden, this guilt he felt. But it could never be, because I could only support him, I could only give him my love. It was so frustrating all the time. I knew how it was for him, I felt guilt, too, that's why I knew I couldn't help him. Because in life you have to do things on your own. You have to discover adventures, you have to feel pain to find out there's also joy, you have to experience it, you have to live it. And right now, Tobias nor I were living life. Right now we were surviving with teeth clenched together and biting our tongue to not scream out of pain. And I knew we could find joy again, I knew we could survive this, of course we could, we survived a lot of things, but not today. Not tomorrow and definitely not next week. Time heals almost every wound and we just had to give it time.
Somehow, despite every obstacle, I found joy in our little road trip toward the Dauntless headquarters. I did not want to waste this moonlight. I did not want to worry about the future because it ruined my little moment of joy. I had to remind myself that I had to live in the here and now. Because that was important right now. Our obstacles would come again, only not now. Later. Our road trip wasn't over yet.

The city or Chicago – how it's originally called – looked like a ghost town. As soon as we entered I was afraid that the Factionless would surround around our jeep, but it stayed quiet.
I remembered houses with the lights on, cozy and warm. People snuggled against each other on the couch. Sadly, nothing was left of it. Everything was dark, cold and abandoned. I had no idea what was going, well, that wasn't entirely true, I knew exactly what was going on. Or better: who was going on. Evelyn and Marcus had done this. Due to their fight the whole city suffered. Our faction were gone. And the ones that were still there, didn't have any meaning. You chose Evelyn and the Factionless or you chose Marcus, trying to get the factions back. But nothing worked, because Marcus and Evelyn were trying to own our city. They didn't think about 'their' people, no, they only thought about themselves because they were selfish. Funny to finally say it, since they were both from Abnegation.
I knew how difficult this was for Tobias. Losing his mother at a young age – then later finding out his mother's still alive ánd planning to take Marcus down – Marcus beating him up. I had no words for him to make him feel better. I guess there weren't no comforting words to ever make this right.
Tobias had to make so many decisions in his short life and I envied him for that. Not because I wanted the same, but because he stayed strong during every obstacle in his life.

Our driver – I still did not know his name – stopped right before the Dauntless headquarters. It was good to be back, also weird, but nice. I never knew how much I could miss home, or something I called home for the last couple of weeks, but I did. This place has so much memories, good and bad ones, that it felt good to be back. Although we didn't came here with good news, I couldn't be more happy to be finally home.
Tobias grabbed my hand as soon as we got out of the jeep. He squeezed my hand hard, knowing I could take it and showing that he did not like it, that he was nervous. I squeezed back, showing him my love and support because I thought he should know, even though he probably already did. It didn't matter to me that I kept saying it to him, I just wanted him to believe it. To feel loved, to be whole. I couldn't do much more, because it was beyond my power to do much more. I could just be there, be there for him, hold him when he needed to be held, hug him when he needed the love and kiss him when he needed the affection. And I did it all, I did with all my love I had for him. Our love never stopped and I didn't even know where it began.

Zeke and Hana lived in the Dauntless headquarters, like all of the Dauntless members. I had never been to their apartment and now wasn't the time to worry about that.
Tobias squeezed my hand one more time before he knocked on the door. It was a soft knock, full of nerves and sadness, but somehow it showed his confidence. Tobias couldn't be easily brought down, he was too strong for that and he knew that, he just needed a reminder once in a while and that was okay. Because I needed reminders all the time.
Hana opened the door and looked at us with shock and gratitude. My heart broke. My heart broke way too many times and was broken was too many times. It needed time to heal again, time to rest, but in situations like this that wasn't an alternative.
'Four! Tris!' Hana exclaimed. 'What are you doing here? I thought you guys left the city.'
Tobias wobbled back and forth. I tried to stay calm because it was the only thing I had to do during this conversation. I couldn't panic right now. Tobias had to see that he could find the calmness, too. Of course I kinda died inside, I mean, who wouldn't in some situation? But hey, I was allowed to panic deep down inside. I kept saying that to myself anyway. As long as it wasn't visible on the outside, everything was okay.
I squeezed Tobias hand one more time and tried to find the words to say something.
'We were, yeah,' I said. 'But we needed to tell you something first. Something important.'
I knew it had made an impression on Hana and Zeke who joined us, too. Hana looked scared and Zeke looked at Tobias with an angry look on his face. I knew that look damn well. Zeke had it every time he thought something was wrong with Uriah.
'I… I need to tell you something,' Tobias started. 'If we could take a seat, please?'
Hana and Zeke sat down next to each other on a couch. Tobias and I took a chair. Well, Tobias took the chair and I took the armrest. It was inappropriate to sit on his lap right now.
'There was an explosion,' Tobias said. It just rolled over his tongue. He didn't stutter, he didn't shiver, he just said it. It felt proud of him. What am I saying? I was always proud of him.
Zeke and Hana looked at each other in shock. They just didn't know what happened to Uriah, yet. Tobias still needed to tell them that Uriah was paralyzed. Yes, Uriah was paralyzed due to his coma, but he had a great chance to walk again. It just took a lot of time. He had to learn it again.
'Uriah got hit…' Tobias said. I saw the pain through his eyes. By the end he said the word 'hit' his voice was somehow shaking. And that meant something, because Tobias never cried. Tobias never showed true feelings near other people. It showed how much he cared about Uriah.
I know Hana was a strong woman who never cried, but I saw tears in her eyes. Same for Zeke. Zeke was such a strong boy – who hid his feelings – but this really hurt him. Their feelings broke my heart even more. I couldn't just see these lovely people getting hurt.
'How is he?' Hana asked.