A/N: I just want to thank you guys for all the reviews and enthusiasm you've shown for the last few chapters. I love reading your insights, reactions (especially the very freaked out ones), and questions. This chapter is the longest I've written so far, I don't even know what happened. This was only supposed to be 3000-ish words. But anyway, I hope you like this chapter! Although there's still angst, this is a light one, a breather from all the drama. Also, the holidays are ending, so I'm going to be very busy with schoolwork, so the updates will be coming very slowly, but I hope you guys stick around. I hope this lengthy chapter will keep you satisfied for a while (or very unsatisfied to the point of you guys to wait for what happens next, no matter how long it takes me to post.)

Enjoy :)

Colors swirl in pulsing patterns behind my shut eyelids with every surge of pain I feel. The only reason I'm sure than my bones haven't been crushed into nothingness is the soreness that is trying to drag me back to unconsciousness. I realize that my skin is stinging everywhere and wonder how many scars I've gotten myself this time before I try to register whether I'm still in the Shack or already in the curtained private beds in Pomfrey's office.

However, I gain enough awareness to smell the unmistakable lemony scent in the air and the sound of rustling sheets against my worn out body, making me recall blurry memories of being transferred to the castle from the Shack.

"He's moving."

"Good observation, Peter."

"Don't be so grumpy, I was up all night too."

"Sorry. Can you grab that green thing?"

"What?"

"The bottle. Isn't that what Sirius made for him for the fatigue and soreness?"

"No, it's the red one, Prongs."

I feel the corner of my mouth twitch up, the voices of those idiots giving me enough energy to open my eyes. The blinding fluorescent light and the gleaming rays streaming through the window make me dizzier. Blinking rapidly, my eyes eventually get used to the brightness of the room enough to see James, and Peter, who has his hand wrapped around a bottle with crimson liquid in it, on either side of my bed. They're standing right over me, but they're too engrossed in their bickering to notice I'm awake.

James eyes the potion with an irritated face and narrows his eyes at Peter. "Put that back, it's totally the green one!"

Peter rolls his eyes, unscrewing the bottle open, and says, "No, it's not. It's the –"

"Yellow one," I pipe up, interrupting Peter. "It's the yellow one, you prats."

Their annoyed faces fade into grins as they look down at me.

"Hey, finally, you're awake," James murmurs as he leans down to put an arm around my shoulders, his other hand grasping my arm, and pulls me to a sitting position slowly. A jolt of pain travels up my spine and the throbbing in my head worsens, causing me to wince and stifle a groan. James looks at me worriedly, as Peter hurriedly places the wrong potion back on the bedside table to prop up one of the pillows against the headboard. They gingerly lean me back as I take steady breaths – a dull ache forming in my rib cage as well.

"Sorry, should be more careful," James says as he readjusts the blankets over my lap.

I shake my head. "Nah, I'm fine."

"Here's the potion though," Peter says, holding up a bottle with yellow-tinged liquid in it. "I mean, if you say so."

Chuckling, I say, "Yes, Pete, that's the one. The Honeywater and Monkshood thing Sirius brewed, right?"

"Yeah," James answers with a doubtful look as he sits next to me on the bed. "Although, I don't know about you drinking it. I reckon it might just be one of his cute little experiments. You sure it's safe for you to drink?"

I nod, taking the bottle from Peter as soon as he opens the bottle. "I've drunk it before. Madam Pomfrey says that it's okay, actually, but that I shouldn't be too reliant on it."

James shrugs, leaning back next to me, and says, "Okay then."

I down the potion in a few quick gulps, desperate for some relief. It doesn't disappoint as it travels down my throat in a steady stream of warmth. As I tilt my head back to drink the last of the saccharine liquid, I can already feel the soreness in my joints dissolve and the ache in my bones dwindle. There is still pain, of course, but it has somehow calmed into faint numbness. I hand the bottle back to Peter, sighing in relief.

"That better?" James asks.

"Yeah," I murmur, still feeling tired. "How long was I out?"

"Three days," Peter answers as he takes a seat on the chair next to my bed.

My eyes widen as I straighten up. "Three days?!"

"Yep, that's more than usual, huh?" James says, taking his glasses off to rub his eyes. "Actually, you've been awake a few times, but you were barely coherent. Just opened your eyes, mumbled stuff, drank potion we gave you, and drifted back to sleep."

"Potion that you guys gave me?" I asked, trying not to sound so nervous.

Obviously hearing the doubt in my voice anyway, James and Peter chuckle.

"It's almost hurtful that you don't trust us with this, Moony. Nah, Sirius and Madam Pomfrey sorted and labeled everything before leaving you alone with us," James says, grinning. "Except for the Honeywater thingy, which is why we sorta panicked about which one it was."

"Sirius was here?" I ask, trying to make my tone purely curious, but the shock in it doesn't fall on deaf ears and James looks at me with an exasperated expression.

"Yes. He was here," James says, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"You honestly don't think he'd stay away, do you?" Peter supplies as he leans back, putting his feet up on my bed. "Took us ages to stop him coming with us to the Shack, making him stay away after the full moon wasn't even an option anymore."

"You and Padfoot are being pricks to each other, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care," James adds.

I snort, "Even if he's dealing with a monster?"

Peter groans. "Okay, I have no idea what's going on, no thanks to any of you, but I sincerely doubt he meant that."

"Whatever," I mutter, picking at the bandages wrapped around my wrist.

James sighs and, obviously tired of arguing with me, just says, "Madam Pomfrey patched you up enough while you were out and said that if you're up for it, you can leave and go rest in the dorm when you wake up."

I nod. "Yeah, okay. Did you guys bring me clothes to change into?"

James grins. "But you look absolutely adorable in those pajamas."

Peter laughs and says, "Don't listen to him, of course we did." He reaches down to a rucksack I just noticed on the floor and takes out a patterned jumper and khaki pants, placing them on my lap.

"Thanks, Peter," I say, elbowing James (who is still chuckling about the childish striped pajamas I'm wearing) in the ribs.

"Don't you wanna come with us to the kitchens first though?" Peter asks. "We just missed lunch and you must be hungry."

I shake my head. "It's okay, I'll head up to the dorm and get started on my homework. I'm beginning to feel nauseous from all the potions you guys probably forced fed me while I was knocked out."

James swings his legs off the bed and stands up, rolling his eyes. "You wake up three days after ripping yourself into shreds and the first thing you want to deal with is homework? It's the Easter holidays, if you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, but the stupid Muggle Studies paper is due first day back and Sirius and I aren't exactly being cooperative."

Peter chuckles as he lifts himself up from the chair. "Why you took up that subject when you've been living in the Muggle world for more than half of your life really escapes me, Moony."

"Oh, I don't know, I have a pretty good idea why Moony was pretty keen on continuing Muggle Studies, actually," James says under his breath and I glare at him. Unfortunately, Peter hears.

"Why?"

James just shakes his head. "Nothing, never mind."

"Merlin, you guys, I'm not sure whether I should be annoyed about not knowing what you ladies have gotten yourselves into or thankful that you're keeping me at arm's length away from all the damn drama," Peter says, slinging his rucksack over his shoulder.

"Trust me, it's the latter," James mutters, then turns back to me. "You sure you'll be okay?"

I give him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, you guys go eat. I'm gonna change and just head back up to our room. I feel okay. I mean, I've had three days of rest, of course I'm okay."

Peter smiles, "Well, if you say so. See ya."

I give him a small wave as he swipes the curtains surrounding us and walks away, calling for James to hurry as he leaves, leaving the door open behind him.

"I'll be right there, Pete!" he calls back. "We'll be in the kitchens if you need us, okay?"

"Does not wanting to be alone with Sirius just in case he's in the dorms count as needing you?" I ask hopefully.

"Very funny, Moony," he answers, giving me a slight shove. Then he stuffs his hand into his pocket, pulls out the blank parchment I know all too well and hands it to me.

I take it, looking at him questioningly.

"Just in case you need something and we're off on a detour."

"There are barely any people to prank, James," I say curtly as I hear the subtext of his statement. "With the war going on, the castle is basically empty on holidays."

James shrugs, "That's true. It's stupid though, what place is safer than Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, that's true..."

"Well then," James suddenly says, clapping his hands together and changing the topic. The war going on in the outside world is definitely a banned topic among us. It became some kind of unspoken agreement ever since the first few attacks we heard of. "I'm gonna go catch up with Peter before he eats the entire kitchen. I'll bring you some food for when you get hungry, yeah?"

"Mmkay, thanks," I murmur as I watch him leave.

"Take care, Moony!" he calls before shutting the door, leaving me alone with my silent rampage of thoughts again.

As luck would have it, when I open the door to our room, I see Sirius kneeling on Frank's bed, leaning out the open window above the headboard with his elbows propped up on the windowsill. He doesn't notice that I'm in the room – even when I shut the door – until I speak up.

"Thanks for the potion."

His head turns to me, with wide eyes. He coughs violently, wincing, and finally says, "H-hey." He turns to look back out the window, coughing even more between words. "It's... no... prob-...problem."

"...What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I just –"

"Are you smoking?!" I exclaim, noticing the cigarette in his hand which was hanging farther out the window in a futile attempt to hide it from my sight, and an ashtray on Frank's bed.

"No, I was just... yeah," he gives up, turning to face me, and sits cross-legged on the bed, cigarette still between his long, shivering fingers.

I narrow my eyes, "I thought you quit last year."

He shrugs, taking a drag before answering. "It's not a big deal, okay? I just need to take the edge off."

Crossing my arms, I stare at him. "That's going to kill you."

Scoffing – and allowing puffs of smoke to come out of his mouth – he just looks at me and says, "Good."

It's like he wants me to shout at him. Trying to keep my voice calm is hard, but with a strained tone, I manage, "Where did you even get those, anyway?"

"Maggie's friend, you know, the Ravenclaw prefect? Well she confiscated a few packs from a bunch of fourth years from Slytherin. Gave me some."

I snort. "Glad to know you're in good hands."

"Will you stop being so judgmental?" he snaps, before bringing the cigarette to his lips and inhaling again.

Before I open my mouth to retort, I decide against it. Sirius has every right to do whatever he wants and if we were still friends, it would be justifiable for me reprimand him but we aren't, and that is that. However, friends or not, according to Peter and James, he helped take care of me after the full moon, and that should garner more gratitude than me scolding him.

"Right. Sorry."

Obviously shocked that he doesn't have to put up with more stubborn remarks, he takes the cigarette out of his mouth and looks at me, lost for words. Eventually, he says, "Yeah..." He clears his throat. "So... are you feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"I should go... Maggie's waiting for me."

The smile I didn't notice I forced on falters a bit, and before I can bite my tongue out, I say a sarcastic, "Oh, of course, how lovely."

Sirius looks at me with a blank expression and stands up. He puts his cigarette out before storming out of the room, shouldering me on the way out.

After a few moments spent watching the door, I grab my Muggle Studies notes and walk out as well. When I arrive at the Common Room, Sirius is gone and the only one in the room is Anthony who is hunched over a messy pile of parchments and books.

Since the full moon was on the first day of Easter holidays, I don't know who stayed. But judging from the walk from the Infirmary to the Gryffindor Tower and the lack of noise in the Common Room, the only students that stayed were my friends and O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. students who have taken the vacation as an opportunity to study.

The war is still slowly beginning, but there have already been attacks and threats within the wizarding world. That is enough for parents to want their children at home. Especially the younger kids. In fact, there doesn't seem to be anyone below sixteen around the castle.

It is unfathomably ridiculous that, amid a bloody war, my biggest conflict right now is Sirius.

I don't realize that I'm getting lost in my thoughts and staring into space until Anthony turns around to see me, calling my attention.

"Remus?"

"Oh... Hey," I mutter, making my way to the table by the fire and sitting next to him. Opening my notebook, I focus on the different drafts and charts I've made and pretend not to notice that Anthony is looking at me expectantly. He doesn't let it slide, however.

"You look a bit tense," he murmurs.

I snort, "Good observation. You've got a very keen eye. No wonder you're the Seeker."

Unfazed, he just continues, "Well someone's touchy."

I sigh, still keeping my eyes glued on my notes. "Sorry. Just a bit..."

"Tense?" he repeats with an amused grin.

Chuckling, I nod, "Yeah, tense."

"You wanna talk about it?" he asks.

"No," I reply immediately, my default response whenever I hear someone throw me that question.

"Okay then," he says and returns to his studying.

I blink rapidly, then try to recall if I heard him right. It's fascinating, really, that being around Lily, James and Peter has given me a daily dose of badgering about my problems and trying to get me to talk to the point that when a person actually drops it, I classify it as something impossible. Something that deserves a double-take.

Sensing my disbelief, he looks up at me again. "What?"

Shaking my head, I just sigh. "I'm glad Lily introduced us. I need more friends like you."

He just smirks knowingly – being close with a very nosy Lily Evans and having a very persistent and controlling James Potter as a team captain probably gives him a good idea of what I mean.

"You haven't truly suffered until you've been roommates with him."

"At least he's fun! His idea of having a good time with me was sneaking into our dorm and charming my blankets to slap me in the face so that I get up before sunrise for bloody Quidditch practice."

"He did that?"

"The whole ruddy two weeks before the finals against Ravenclaw last year."

Anthony and I end up not studying and just talking instead. For him, it is a well-deserved break from all his studying – he isn't the top of his class for nothing – but for me, it's a break from my other friends (the migraine-inducing ones).

I laugh and rest my chin on a propped up hand. "Ah, but has he ever gotten his hands on your prefect badge?" I ask, nodding towards the badge he has discarded among the pile of school things next to him. With the O.W.L.s coming up, it's like he's taken a permanent residency in the Common Room to study – when he's not in the library, of course.

He tilts his head, a curious look on his face. "Merlin, what did he do?"

"Last year, on our first day, he put a spell on mine so that the P was spelled out for "POTTER" instead of prefect..."

"That's not so bad –"

"But," I interrupt with emphasis, "I didn't notice the other letters because 'POTTER' was in bold flashing colors. The whole thing read, 'Potter's little bitch'. Didn't notice until Professor McGonagall pointed it out. When she tried to take it off, it sprayed confetti and water at her face as it yelled out very imaginative threats, promising very obscene things if anyone tried to remove it again."

Anthony burst out laughing. "You're kidding."

I roll my eyes at the memory, unable to stifle a chuckle myself. "I wish I was. Can you imagine, my first day as a prefect and I'm the first one to get detention."

He continues laughing, shaking his head. "Okay, you win... But you still didn't have to go through studying for your O.W.L.s under Lils' strict guidance. She made me a schedule and insisted that I copied all of her old notes. She and James even got into a fight because of me last night. He was trying to get me to practice and she was trying to get me to study and... you don't even want to hear the rest."

"Okay, fine, you get the worst of the Lily of it all," I admit.

"How long will it be until they break, do you reckon?" he suddenly asks.

"What do you mean?"

"How long will it be until James quits ruining his chances with the occasional relapse into arrogance and how long will it be until Lily finally realizes that she fancies him back?"

"When will James stop being an arsehole? When pigs fly," I mutter.

"Oh, Moony, I thought we agreed not to use that expression after what we did at that farm last summer!"

My head shoots up and I find James walking up to us with an accusing look and his arm cradling a bunch of what seems to be neatly packed pies and sandwiches. Peter is following him, carrying bottles of pumpkin juice.

I raise my eyebrows at him, "Those pigs were very traumatized by that, it was not funny at all. What took you guys so long, anyway?"

"The unguarded Potions storage was too tempting. Needed to stock up. I warned you that we might have detours." James unceremoniously drops the food onto the table, making even more of a mess as it scatters our notes – earning an eye roll from Anthony. "Eat up."

"Really, James?" he whines, trying to arrange his notes into organized piles again.

"You dig in too. I need you in shape for the finals. If we lose the cup against Slytherin –"

"Yeah, yeah, you'll hex me into oblivion, I've heard it before," he finishes sarcastically, but grabs a sandwich and takes a bite anyway.

"I'm not really hungry. More of tired. I really ought to get some rest," I say, closing my – thoroughly ignored – notebook.

James scoffs and says, "Good luck trying to catch a moment of peace. Evans is back from home early, probably couldn't resist being in my presence any longer, down the hall talking to Slughorn. And she said, and I quote, 'Tell that cheeky little prefect that I want to see him after this, will you?'"

Anthony groans. "Please let it be you."

"Glad to know you care for my well being," I mumble.

Peter laughs and sits across us on the other side of the table. "She had that irritated 'I'm going to handle this bloody mess because you're too thick to do it yourself look', so I pity whoever she did mean."

I frown. "Well, I just hope she just has another tower of books to orient Anthony on."

"Gee, thanks, mate," he mutters as he starts to flip through his book again.

James then looks at us with an incredulous face and crosses his arms. "What's wrong with Lily?!" he demands.

"Woah there, Prongs," I say, trying not to smile. "I love her, but she's a bit too much sometimes."

"It's called determination and passion," he counters.

"You can just say she's a control freak with very good intentions," Anthony says smoothly, not noticing the portrait that swung open. "At least that way, you guys will have something in common."

"Excuse me?"

Anthony looks frozen for a bit, but then regains his composure, grinning up at her. "You know, I'm kidding, Lils."

Lily plants a hand on her hip and glowers at him. "I'm dealing with you later. However, I would like to talk to Mr. Lupin over here if you lot are done discussing my controlling ways."

"I was defending you!" James says in defense. "I told them that you were determined and passionate and I like that about you."

It's obvious that Lily is trying to keep a stony exterior, but I see the corner of her mouths twitch up.

"Well, good for you, Potter," she says simply, then turns back to me, extending an arm. "C'mon, I wanna talk."

Giving in, I take her hand and push myself off the floor. She drags me to the other side of the room, where another couch is up against the wall, and practically pushes me down. She plops down next to me with her denim-clad legs tucked beneath her.

"It's been a month since your fight with Sirius and I'm tired of watching you suffer," she blurts out in a hushed tone.

"Trust me, I'm tired of suffering too," I say tersely. "What, is my series of Sirius tragedies the very thing that made you return from home early?" I ask sarcastically.

"Ha," she starts with a hostile glower. "I wish, lover boy. No, Petunia and I got into another fight. Mother brought up going to Easter mass on Sunday. Of course, my darling sister took the opportunity to rant about how my 'vile, nefarious abnormality' would corrupt the church just with my presence. My parents felt too sorry for her again and didn't stick up for me. When I asked them to, they brought out the, 'oh but honey, you're so much stronger than her. Maybe we should just let it slide, you know how fragile she is, sweetheart' card. Told 'em to bugger off and that I'd see them in summer. They reckoned I was just… Wait, no, I've gone off track. Nice try, sweetie."

I raise my eyebrows at her, "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

She takes a deep breath and smiles a tight smile. "I already talked Alice's ear off this morning when I dropped by her house to floo to Hogsmeade. I'm fine, really. Used to it. So now, can we concentrate on your life and your horrible taste in blokes? Because you really need to meet someone new and get over that git. You aren't the only queer in the whole bloody castle, you know."

Laughing half-heartedly, I put a finger on her lips. "Can we not talk about this right now?" I plead, casting a quick glance at James (who, with Peter watching in awe, is annoying Anthony by sitting next to him to draw out Quidditch plays on the poor bloke's O.W.L. notes).

"Oh, Anthony isn't the nosy kind. He won't be listening in."

"Yeah, he isn't, unlike my other friends," I mutter, looking at her pointedly. "But no, I meant James. There's only a certain number of discussions about me and Sirius he can take before punching me again."

She chuckles, then suddenly a look – the kind she has whenever she feels like taking a challenge – dawns on her rosy little face. "I can take care of that."

I open my mouth to ask, but before I can, she's already calling out to James across the room.

"Hey, James, sweetie?"

Stifling a laugh, I look at her and admire her nerve.

James looks up, with his jaw dropped and his eyes blinking rapidly. His face is burning red and I swear I can hear him swallow hard from where I am. He stands up in a single jolt, straightening out his shirt, as he opens his closes his mouth before finally settling for something to say. "Uh, y-yeah?"

She bats her eyelashes in an uncharacteristically innocent manner. "I forgot some of my bags in the Great Hall… I know it's a bit of a trouble, but –"

"No, no, not at all," James interrupts, already gesturing Peter to come with him. "I'll be back in no time!" he promises. With a clumsy wave and a hastily recovered stumble over Anthony's legs, he is shooting out of the portrait hole with Peter following closely.

Anthony, with a smirk on his face, shakes his head and turns to Lily. "You're the devil."

Lily laughs and retorts, "Yeah, that's the popular opinion at home too."

Anthony chuckles and glues his eyes back to his notes.

By the time an hour has passed, James is probably still looking for Lily's nonexistent bags, Anthony is practically clawing out patches of his blond hair as he mutters his Potions notes aloud, and Lily Evans is still insisting that I can let go of my feelings for Sirius by listening to her enumerate my – as she calls it - 'options'.

"Okay, how about Kris Overton?"

I scrunch up my face in disagreement. "The Slytherin?"

"Since when are you so judgmental?" she chides, punching me lightly in the arm. "He's a decent guy… Although, I suppose he does have a strange fascination with ferrets and managed to smuggle some in last term."

Snorting, I rolling my eyes. "Yeah, your taste in blokes is so much better."

"Oh, shut up, you," she reprimands, though without much conviction. "Drew Dalton? The Hufflepuff Quidditch captain?"

"I have enough Quidditch-obsessed psychos in my life, thank you very much. Besides, I don't want to hear the 'you're cavorting with the enemy' speech James gave Sirius when The Maggot came into the picture."

"First of all," Lily starts, scowling at me, "Dalton isn't as obsessed as your friends. He's sweet, and smart, and talented. Second, stop calling her that, she's a perfectly nice girl. It's not her fault that she has the misfortune of catching a Sirius Black."

I groan. Out of all the things, she chooses to be objective about this.

Continuing, she says, "And second… How about Rico Patel?"

Before I can answer she corrects herself.

"Oh, but then again he always wears those bizarre patterned sweaters that –" she cuts herself off, noticing the glower on my face. Her gaze drops to what I'm wearing, taking in my own patterned jumper, and she laughs. "Right. Sorry."

"You are the absolute worst at this."

"I'm just trying to help," she argues.

"I don't want some other bloke, Lily," I complain. "Then again, the one that I do want is an irritating tosser, so, no, I don't want anyone at all."

She frowns, crossing her arms childishly, and just sits there, thinking. Before even a minute can pass however, her face lights up. "Not even Michael Biancardi?"

I tilt my head, looking at her uncertainly.

She lets out an exasperated sigh. "Biancardi. From Ravenclaw. Jet black hair, green eyes, Italian, voice like an angel? Oh, come on, don't tell me you weren't checking him out too during the prefect meeting at the start of the year? He was literally the only thing that kept me awake!"

"I know who he is." I definitely know who he is. Very few can rival Sirius' looks, but Rosati is definitely… fit. There is one problem, however. "He isn't gay, Lils."

"Yes, he is!" she insists, sitting up straight.

"Oh, come on, Lily, no he isn't."

"Yes. He. Is."

"How do you know? Don't you think if a very attractive, Italian bloke came out, I'd notice? Because, trust me, I would definitely notice."

"That's exactly it," she continues to assert. "He's waaay deep in the closet, Rem."

"And I repeat: How do you know?"

"I just… know," she emphasizes. "I just know, okay?"

"You can't be sure unless –"

"REMUS, TRUST ME, HE'S GAY!"

"Who's gay?"

Our heads snap to find Anthony right in front of us, crouching to pick up a piece of parchment from his table that must have flown away.

"Oh, uh…" I stammer, but manage to put on a look of nonchalance. "Apparently Biancardi from Ravenclaw is gay."

I expect him to chide Lily for her conclusion-jumping tendencies or to at least just laugh it off, but instead he says, "Well, yeah, he is."

"Oh, Merlin, she's rubbed off on you."

He shifts so that he's now sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of us.

"No, really, he is."

I look at him, doubtful. "Why are you two so sure?"

Lily looks like she's about to throw me another lame excuse, but Anthony interrupts. He gives a one-shoulder shrug and just says, "I was shagging him two months ago."

I am about to laugh – a smile already spread on my face – when I see that Lily is looking at him with an impressed expression and he looks serious.

"You… aren't… kidding," I say slowly.

Lily smiles. "Well, I'm glad I don't have keep that secret from one more person."

Anthony grins back.

But I just continue to stutter. "Y-you…You're… You're gay?!"

Anthony chuckles. "Yeah."

"What?!" I blurt out again. I try to recover. "I mean not that it's… What?" And fail.

He shakes his head, amused. "I'm gay," he repeats.

I stare at him incredulously. "You never said."

"You never asked."

"You just… don't seem like the type," I say, before realizing how thick that sounded.

"I left my fairy wings at home," he retorts playfully. I almost start to ease until he says, "Seeing as you don't have your pair on either, I think you aren't in the place to validate my queerness."

My jaw drops and I hear Lily giggle as she leans back – clearly enjoying my shock.

"You… know…" I say pointlessly. "You know?"

"Since the prefect meeting at the start of the year when you couldn't take your eyes off Michael. Especially when you turned red when he bent over to pick up his quill," he says in-the-matter-of-factly.

Lily props herself up with her elbows resting on the armrest of the couch and just murmurs, "I knew it."

My lips start to form words, but nothing audible comes out of my mouth.

Anthony smiles reassuringly and nudges my knee with his knuckles. "Calm down, will you? It's okay, I haven't said anything to anyone, Remus. Your secret is safe with me."

I look at his genuine expression and finally, I manage to placate my nerves. Exhaling the breath I didn't know I was holding, I nod. "Yeah, okay, thanks."

He grins and leans back, planting his palms onto the carpeted floor. "Besides, can't blame you. He is undeniably fit. It may not have worked out with us but… damn."

"Lucky you," I mutter, jokingly rolling my eyes at him. "Can't believe a fifth year is getting more action than I am."

"Got more action," he corrects. "Past tense. Definitely not getting any now."

"Well, that's more than I ever got," I counter. "Not everyone can have pretty blue eyes and golden locks, Anthony. With top marks and a remarkable Quidditch record, may I add."

"That's because you're always so guarded. I mean, if you opened up more, you'd definitely find someone. I mean, you're cute, funny, smart –"

Before I can wave his compliments off, Lily – who I now realize we've been ignoring – stands up and shouts, "OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Both of us bewildered, we look up at her expectantly.

She has a panicked look on her face as she plants her fists on her hips. "I thought it would be nice if you two knew about each other so you can have someone you could relate to but now I regret introducing you two because you guys are flirting! Nope. No no no no no. I will not let my two best friends end up together in a relationship that might end badly, thus, forcing me to choose sides. Or worse," she adds, facing Anthony, "distract you from your O.W.L.s. Which you should be studying for rather than flaunting your – what was that, Lupin? Oh, right – flaunting your 'pretty blue eyes and golden locks' to Remus! This will bring disaster, mark my words. Now, go back to your textbooks! Now!"

Anthony and I look at each other, stunned. We keep our gazes locked, taking a few seconds to let her outburst sink in.

Then we double over laughing hysterically, wiping tears from our eyes.

We don't even stop when Lily continues to whine, "You prats! I'm not joking!"

When our laughter finally dissolves into to snickers and taunting grins, I speak. "You're being dramatic, you realize?"

"What –"

Anthony cuts in before she can retort. "Blokes can be both homosexual and just friends, you know."

She purses her lips, narrowing her eyes at us as she finally sits back down next to me. She crosses her arms again and says, "That better true."

I put a hand on her shoulder. "You're barking mad. You literally have nothing worry about."

She sighs, nodding reluctantly.

Then, Anthony adds, with a smug smirk, "Besides, I don't think I can be with someone who can't remove himself from those patterned jumpers."

I chuck a cushion at him. "Git."

SIRIUS POV

I throw the now-empty cigarette pack aside as I trudge into the castle. Inwardly, I wince at how many I smoked within an hour.

It is just another desperate attempt to grasp onto a distraction from the thoughts that have been gnawing at my head. But it proves to be futile because all of the concerns are still swarming around my mind like haunting ghosts.

Maggie went home for the holidays – I lied to Remus to escape that blasted dorm – so that was another avenue of distraction that I couldn't access. As much as I do like her, I can't say that I enjoy the fact that I can use her as a shield. She's sweet and indulging which makes her the perfect buffer from the real world. The real world where there are wars raging on. This war, particularly, already reeling my little brother in for battle. The real world where my best mate is taking every chance he has to lecture me on my choices and life decisions. The real world where my other best mate – no, not my best mate… The real world where I lost my other best mate.

Remus.

The worries and doubts start to surface again, like wild waves trying to drown me with their vicious currents. I don't notice that I've been staying in place in the Entrance Hall until James is walking towards me.

"Oi! What are you standing there, looking into space for?"

"Just… thinking…"

He smirks, shoving his hands down his pockets. "Well, that's a first."

I look daggers at him.

"Okay. Touchy Padfoot," he says, as if warning himself.

Trust me. Very touchy Padfoot indeed.

"Have you seen any of Evans' luggage, by any chance?" he asks, then, as an afterthought, adds, "Or Peter?"

Looking down at my combat-boots-clad feet, I just shake my head.

He frowns at me and grabs my shoulder. His expression is finally softening into something more gentle and less joking.

"Pads, you okay? You look sick."

I expect myself to just lie and make up an excuse. I expect myself to nod and force on a smile. I expect myself to just walk away. I expect myself to push through any outcome that avoids me facing all my thoughts and worries.

So I surprise myself when I say, "No, I'm not… Can we talk somewhere?"

A/N: (This note really isn't that important I just really like talking about Anthony, okay?)

Anthony's gay! I think that some of you saw that coming though. I kept writing little vague details that led up to it because I couldn't wait to write it out. Remember how in chapter 13, I wrote something about Anthony was blushing hard when James hugged him for "longer-than-necessary" because he caught the snitch? Or in 16, when he seemed shy when Sirius talked to him for the first time? (No, he doesn't like James nor Sirius. It's just they're both extremely sexy, I mean, how can you not blush around them? No matter how much James pisses him off.)And how, in that same chapter, he was glaring at Lily for saying something like "oh trust me, he can keep a secret"? (And in the process looked very pissed when she ruffled his perfectly gelled up hair.) Plus, I've been mirroring his personality with Remus (especially in Chapter 20) as some prelude to how they end up finding comfort in how they can relate to each other. Also, in chapter 21 when everyone is badgering Remus about the Veritaserum, Sirius had this thought, wondering about Anthony's behavior like how Anthony "has strangely kept quiet the whole conversation" and how he hastily got up and left after Remus mentions the kiss with James. That's because he knows what it's like to have a secret that he wanted to keep so he just stayed out of it, even if he and Remus were already close by then. (Also, he thought James/Remus kiss was serious and wanted to give Remus space to figure it out so he left immediately.)

OKAY, I'M DONE RANTING ABOUT MY BELOVED OC. (Oh, if only I was this passionate about Maggie.)

Preview:

"...and it's really not helping that I need him on my side more than ever. With every thing that's going on, I just can't help but feel so screwed over by life whenever I see that I'm losing him. I know I was the one who walked away, Prongs. I know that. But that doesn't mean it doesn't fucking break my heart to see him like this. What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Am I required to answer that?"

"No, but you're required to stay here for a little bit longer."

"Of course."

"Thanks."