Thank you for all your reviews!

ChelleLew

I fear she's going to come home and need to get his stomach pumped. The soothsayer spoke about this!
A/N: I thought about adding this, but I would have to rewrite the whole original chapter. In the end I decided against it, not adding this much drama to the story. There will be more drama of a different kind in later chapters.

And you are right, this is what Elena was talking about before the wedding. Nice catch!

MulishaMaiden

A great chapter! Oh man it's gonna be crazy I just know it! How I hope you update soon!

A/N: I think this is not as crazy as you might have thought, but hoepfully crazy enough!

Chapter 39

Rated M for mature content.

I got home around 10 pm. Elena and I had had dinner and now I was nervously fiddling with my key. He was back, the car was at our parking space.

Finally deciding that whatever was about to go down would go down, no matter how much I dragged my feet out here I opened the door and walked in.

The TV was on, wrestling running on it from the network.

Jon was on the couch in the dark, only illuminated by the TV and he was watching with more or less interest. He didn't even acknowledge my entry. Okay.

Three empty beer cans were on the table and two pill bottles. Shit, I hadn't taken his new prescription away from him.

I sat down on the couch table right in his line of view.

"Go away I am watching this." he slurred. When I didn't move he leaned forward to push me away with force and when I stood my ground he looked at me with blazing eyes.

"GO AWAY!" he shouted and grabbed me by the elbow and I couldn't struggle anymore without hurting myself so I got up with him when he pushed off of the couch and dragged me with him. His grip was painful and I did something which was low but I had to make a point. With my free hand I grabbed behind him and pushed gently into his hurt shoulder which made him yelp. He let go, furiously cussing and holding his arm.

"You will survive it, stop selling it Jon." I told him unimpressed because he was behaving like he was in the ring, selling a move to the audience.

"I am hurt you stupid...I am hurt! I am HURTING Sam. I don't take pain killers for nothing. But you judge me anyway. You judge me when I am hurting."

He got quieter with each word.

When he was finally done I walked up to him. "You, my beloved husband, are high as a kite. I know you are hurting, here..." I touched his shoulder, gently this time but he winced and shied away from me anyways. I followed him. "Here..." I touched his head and he stood his ground this time. "And most importantly here." I touched his heart.

"I don't want you in pain Jon, so take the pain killers WHEN you need them. But the beer? Really? Have you read the instructions for the meds? You are acting irresponsible, selfish and childish."

I grabbed the half empty pill bottle he had gotten at the hospital.

"Here. Those are yours. The others are mine and I hope you won't need them. But if you do, I will give you the bottle okay? You are so high right now you are almost cute as long as you keep your mouth shut." I kissed him.

"Let's get you to bed." "I don't want to go to bed." he said stubbornly. "I want to have angry sex with you. That was the plan." "Well, and here I will tell you, that your right hand works just fine. Come on, Jon."

He followed me and I helped him out of his clothes and once I had him tucked in he grabbed my hand.

"Where are you going? Are you leaving me?" "No, but I will sleep in the guestroom. We both need a breather Jon. I love you, tomorrow is a new day and we will try this again tomorrow." I kissed him gently. "Just don't leave me Sammy. I need you." He grabbed my hand and guided it to his crotch. Amazing how he still had an erection in the state he was in. "Take care of it yourself. Not tonight Jon, not when you are high. Sleep."

I left him alone and closed the door quietly.

I entertained the idea of cleaning up after him but I didn't.

Grabbing the pill bottle for safekeeping I went into the kitchen, got rid of the other three beer cans and found the JD in the process, getting rid of it as well. I cleaned up whatever leftover dishes were waiting clean in the dishwasher to be put away. Then I went through the fridge looking if everything was still good. After that I cleaned the oven. I am not a big fan of house work and me doing this to calm down, to calm my nerves would tell everyone who knew me that I was really stressed out. But now after 90 minutes of kitchen clean up I was calmer. Or so I thought.

Once I was done I leaned with my hands on the kitchen counter and broke down. Shit. Why didn't I went home straight away? Why was I so stubborn? If I would have been home I could have stopped this. Fuck. An alcoholic is an alcoholic. And a sip could set you off again.

I was still crying when one arm wrapped around me from behind and Jon pulled me close. "Sorry Sam, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Please don't cry baby. Please." He leaned his head on my shoulder and held me close. His breathe raked of alcohol but he seemed a little more himself again. Still crying and shaking I sagged down and Jon went down with me and we sat on the kitchen floor a long time, saying nothing. I was crying everything out and he rocked me gently.

When I relaxed a bit, still sniffing though, he grabbed a dish towel and gave it to me. "Here. Clean your noose." "I can't that's a..." "Do it." Okay. I blew my noose and put the towel on the floor.

"The beer was stupid I know that Sam. But I need the pills. I swear I will take them only when I need them, but I will need them for a little longer. And I wanna go to Tahoe. Tomorrow. Get me clean again baby, please."

I looked at him. "Okay. We will do that. Go to bed now Jon, I will book the flights and I will join you shortly." "You will?" he asked hopefully. "Yes, but just to hold you, not for sex." "I think I couldn't manage that right now anyways." he smirked and kissed my noose. "Besides you look hideous. Cute but hideous from crying." "Thank you Mr Hobo."

I booked the flights, went into the bathroom to freshen up my face a little bit and walked into the dark bedroom. Crawling onto my side I turned my back to Jon and snuggled into him.

He lay on his good arm and wasn't really able to move his bad arm so he couldn't wrap it around me like he used to, so I just crawled as close to him as I could.

"Samantha?" he asked with a quiet voice. "Yes?" "I love you. Even when I treat you like shit, which you don't deserve by the way, I still love you every second." "I know Jon. You lash out at those people closest to you, because they can hurt you most. You know, I deserve like 5 free passes for all the shit you called me these past couple of days." "True enough, and you will get them. I am grateful you didn't walk out that door today for good." "I walked in this door again for Good."

Stupid joke, but I had to laugh. Jon smiled as well, I could feel it, even though my back was to him. "Thank you." He kissed the back of my head. "When does the flight leave?" "9 am, I put the alarm to 6.30 am, because we still have to unpack and pack. Well I will have to do that, you can watch and delegate like you always do. Sleep now Jon, we will figure out the rest in the morning."

"Okay. Are we good Sam?"

I couldn't answer him immediately but after two deep breaths I finally said. "We will be. Now be quiet." "I can't because I fear when I don't talk to you I will fall asleep and you are gone in the morning." "Don't put thoughts in my head my husband. I married you, I will stand beside you through good and bad times. I will not leave. I will be there when you wake up." "Thank you." he mumbled and finally fell asleep.

I slept not well. For one thing, I was always afraid to hurt Jon while sleeping and turning during my sleep. The other thing was my mind was restless. I kept replaying the things that happened in my head, asked myself if three beers were really that bad. The internet would know, right? I really was a little over my head here but I was good at research.

At 5 am I really couldn't stay in bed any longer so I got up, got myself a coffee and went to answer some e-mails in my private account, browsed through some fan mail and researched finally alcoholism.

And as I had figured out myself. One beer wouldn't lead to heavy drinking again, but it could very easily do so and it was better for a recovering alcoholic to stay abstinent. Period.

Great. Considering this also counted for the pain killers the next few days were going to be interesting. Damn me. Damn me for being so proud and stubborn.

Tears formed in my eyes again and I put my hands to my face and inhaled deeply. Shit on a stick.

"Verdammte scheiße." I said aloud in German.

"Fucking hell?" I yelped because Jon had startled me. "Do you want to kill me?" I asked a little too loud, my heart was still beating heavily against my rib cage.

Jon had picked up a couple of German words over time, mostly not the nice ones. It entertained him to no end. But he also picked up some other words and he could understand enough German to get by, he just wouldn't speak it himself.

"Yeah, fucking hell. You and your stupid stunt last night. But mostly I am so angry at myself. What if I would have been here to stop you?"

"If you would have been here I would have had a beer in the car. Don't blame yourself Sam. You can't babysit me 24/7. I did this to myself, and I will stop right away if you help me out. We can do that. Together."

Massaging my neck I got up. "Yeah, we will. I will take a shower. You want a bath? Because I don't have the patience to put a bag over half your body right now, and I won't wash you down."

Jon sighed. "So you are still mad and not getting physical with me is my punishment?"

"Something like that. I just need a little distance to do this. And yes Jon, I am still mad. "

"But last night you said..." "Everything I said was true, okay? I love you, I won't leave but I am not someone you can manipulate to do what you want. I am mad, and you will have to work to get on my good side again. Doesn't mean I don't love you. I thought you respected me for the fact that I won't let you pull your stupid shit with me?"

"I do, but to be on the receiving end, it's annoying. Can you at least strip for me and I watch?" he asked hopefully.

I just wiggled my right hand in front of him, flipped him off and put water in the bathtub.

"I don't want too much in it. Here you go. Wash yourself, I'll take my shower." "Evil witch." he pouted and got in under my watchful eyes. The water was not really deep, he could keep his injured arm out easily enough but still get clean in the process.

I hopped under the shower and after I was finished I stepped out and I have to admit I enjoyed Jon's eyes on me. Around him I wasn't shy anymore so I walked around naked for a while, toweling myself and my hair. The effect I had on him was clearly visible.

It was tempting, especially since it had been 7 no 8 days days since we last had sex which was long for us by now. I closed my eyes, my back to Jon, thinking about what to do. I was mad at him, but I still missed him. But wouldn't sex be just a reward for him? Or was it just that I needed to feel him close to me, inside me, to help me realize that he was still here, and that this would not change?

"You need to wash my hair." Okay, talk about just the wrong thing to say at the wrong time.

"Get out. And for your information, I was just thinking about having sex with you before you reminded me that you are a demanding bastard right now. Can you sit in front of the tub and put your head over the edge?"

He didn't move. "Really?" "Yeah, really, put your head over the edge." He rolled his eyes knowing perfectly well that I was playing with him now. "The sex part!" "Oh yeah, yeah, that I meant as well, but the mood is over now. Come on Jon, we need to get going. If you are really really good today we can throw in some therapy sex in Tahoe."

"I will hold you up to that!" "I know you will, as will I hold you up to being a good boy."

I helped him out of the tub and he pushed me against the shower wall.

"Sam, you have no idea how good I can be. I can be in fact so good, that you will be a quivering mess in 90 seconds and you will beg me to take you right here." "Won't be..." I sighed and tried to look bored.

He moved his good hand between my legs, rubbing my clit just the way I liked it. I was already so turned on that it wouldn't take me long to come. I remained quiet, looking into his inquiring face which just made him work harder. He thought his hand had no reaction on me. And after the about 90 seconds I couldn't remain quiet anymore and I moaned and came. Jon lost his move for a second. "You little shit." he growled deeply and I just smiled. He had been right after all. Just 90 seconds to make me come. And knowing him he would have stopped just before I came, leaving me begging him for my release. Well. I lost and won at the same time playing bored. "I admit my defeat here gladly. Thank you Jon."

I kissed him briefly and put on my bra and panties leaving him there heavily breathing and with a huge erection.

"Call me when you are ready for a hair wash, I will pack our bags."

I left him alone in the bathroom, closed the door and went packing.

A/N: Something I wanted to mention last time: I have a new story up, a little side project focused on humor more this time. Dean is being a real Dick in that story, but an entertaining one. Check it out, it is called Bluebell you find it in my profile!