A/N: jfc I am so sorry. I am definitely not making promises again because this is later than the last one. However, right here, it's summer already, so I will have more time to write. Hopefully, I won't be as delayed. But anyway, thank you for all the reviews and for all the support. Also I love everyone's acceptance of Remus and Anthony ("Renthony" according to BalletDancer14's review of the preview chapter omg I love it). All of you have been so wonderful, your reviews - positive or not - really encourage me, especially when I take into account how patient you guys have been. Stick with me, you guys, if I'm gonna promise anything, it's that I won't leave this story hanging. I'll be late a few times here and there, but I will always keep writing and appreciate all of you. Thank you for all the reviews/favorites/ follows! They all mean so much to me

xx Sam :)

As I make my way through the corridors, my legs ache and I wince at every step. Peter shoots me a worried glance and I wave it off before he can even say anything. The full moon a couple of days ago was tough. It opened up wounds and my body still feels like my bones are seconds away from turning into brittle. That night was one of the longest.

However, with Madam Pomfrey's tending due to her scolding me about my class absences caused my grades dropping, I was up and walking a few hours after I woke up. Although, I have to admit, that was also made possible because of Sirius' potions.

Sirius has respected my wishes to not run with us during the full moon again. Well, I heard him and James arguing about it before I went into the dorm and they pretended that nothing was going on, but in the end, Sirius wasn't there. The full moons are getting harder and harder to deal with, because somehow, the wolf still isn't used to having Padfoot absent from its run. It felt safer for all of us, because no one could tell just how the wolf might react to Padfoot's presence. Nevertheless, it's still felt like there was a something empty in the run. Something missing.

But between slightly waking up and falling asleep in the Hospital Wing, I could see glimpses of Sirius. I could hear his voice. Feel his presence. He was exhausted, but I couldn't tell exactly what from. I remember him lecturing James and Peter on the potions and falling asleep in the chair with Peter. But by the time I woke up fully and was finally ready to get out of bed and back to classes, he was gone. I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

The thing is, though, that I should be feeling gratitude and nothing more. His absence shouldn't mean as much to me anymore. I shouldn't be thinking about his every move and decision. Not with Anthony now in the picture.

I sigh, trying to ward off the thoughts, and just continue to move forward, even with a sharp pain throbbing in my shoulder blade still aching.

Peter and I walk separately from James and Sirius on the way to Potions. I think he suspects that something is going on with me. When I arrived in the dorm late last Saturday, he kept questioning me about where I'd been. Although, I spotted the Map peeking out of his covers. At this point, I don't even care about what he knows, as long as I don't have to explain it all to him. I don't know how to explain anything at all anymore, even to myself.

"You're doing it again," Peter says in a bored tone, as we turn into the next hallway.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I turn to him. "Doing what?"

"Spacing out while I'm talking to you," he says in monotone.

Feeling guilty, I smile at him apologetically. "Sorry, Pete, what were you saying?"

"I saw in the papers this morning – you know, when you ditched us to eat breakfast with Ashwood –"

I hit him playfully with my Potions book.

"Just kidding," he says, chuckling. "Anyway, I was saying that there's been another attack last night."

It's horrible that I can't even bring myself to feel surprised anymore. "Really? Where?"

"That's the horrible part. They attacked Beauxbatons."

My heart sinks and I look at him wide-eyed. No, that can't be right. "But... that's a school!"

"Exactly," he says grimly. "Three deaths, but almost none of the students got away without injuries."

I feel a gnawing at my stomach. Death Eaters are evil and they've been terrorising the UK, but I never knew they'd go to the extent of attacking a school. But then again, what better way to make a statement than by attacking a place filled with under-aged witches who live in a country which hasn't experienced the Purebloodist wrath until last night?

"Why are you only telling me this now?"

"I couldn't tell you during lunch with Sirius there. He's already tense about it all. With the rumours about Regulus and everything," Peter points out.

"That's true. Do you have any idea –"

"What's going on with Regulus?" Peter finishes. "No, Sirius won't talk about it. I think James knows though. And if James knows, at least some of it will be taken care of, because James won't leave Sirius alone, surely."

"Yeah, I guess."

Before we know it, we arrive outside the Potions classroom. Peter and I lean against the wall, waiting for the last of the previous class to exit the room. I don't realize that they are fifth years until Anthony walks up to me.

"Hey there," he says, smirking.

"Ah, hi," I manage through my suddenly dry mouth before turning to Peter. "Um, why don't you go ahead? I need to talk to Anthony about... our patrolling schedules."

Anthony raises his eyebrows at me and keeps his mouth shut, looking like he's stifling a laugh.

Peter just looks at us suspiciously, and grins. "Yeah, sure, okay."

I frown at his knowing look as he walks away and takes a seat in the front row of the classroom. He then puts his bag on the chair next to him to save it for me.

"Smooth," Anthony mutters, smiling.

I roll my eyes, but can't help but laugh. "Shut up."

"So," he says, fiddling with the strap of his messenger bag, "what is it that you want to talk about? About 'patrolling schedules'?"

Feeling a blush rising up my cheeks, I shake my head. "Nothing, really. I just don't think I can manage being with you without Peter finding out."

"I have a strong feeling you don't give his common sense enough credit," he says, chuckling nervously. "Well, if you have nothing to do, I suggest you get going and brush up on your notes. Slughorn is in a ruddy mood today and he won't be happy when you mess up another practical."

"Look who's talking," I counter, rolling my eyes. "Potions is really getting more complicated, okay?"

"Well then," he starts, "why don't we meet after lunch in the library? You have a free period, right? I'll skip Charms."

I scoff. "You? Help me study for Potions? No thanks," I say, laughing.

He remains unfazed and just smirks. "Who said anything about studying?"

And with one final wink, he turns around and walks away, leaving me blushing furiously and wondering how exactly I let myself feel like jelly in the hands of a fifth year.

Walking briskly through the library, I check the aisles, looking for a glimpse of a blond head. Before I can finish walking the length of the room, however, I hear a high-pitched giggle. Turning around, I look over the bent heads of the students in the library and see the source of the sound in the other corner of the room. Sirius and The Ma- Kerrigan are talking with heads ducked low and fingers entangled. My stomach lurches at the smile on Sirius' face as Kerrigan leans in to whisper something into his ear. Chuckling, he rolls his eyes, making them catch the light of the sunlight streaming through the windows. Before I can even worry about why my heart is still fluttering at that, I feel a hand close around my arm, pulling me into one of the aisle.

I look up and see Anthony grinning at me, dragging me to the back rows of the library. His hair is tousled, as if it took him a lot to arrive here in hurry and his blue eyes gleam with affection. When we reach the row of shelves on the wall, he lightly pushes me against it. My messenger bag slips off my shoulder and I feel his hand replace it as he leans closer to me.

My heartbeat picks up as I feel his tight grip and smell his scent of fresh cut grass and new parchment. He kisses me full on the mouth, breaking my thoughts off for a while as I get lost in the lingering taste of Butterbeer in his mouth. Warm, sweet, comforting. Way better than the stinging taste of Firewhi-

I black out my thoughts before I can even go there and just pull back, grinning at Anthony. "Hello to you, too," I say.

He cups my face with one hand, his touch sending shivers all over my body. "Hey there."

"Are you sure we should be doing this here?" I whisper, but not actually caring. I need him right now to anchor me from letting my mind wander off to things I should have long forgotten about.

A warm smile appears on his face. "Come on, Lupin. Name a student who'd willingly go to the off-curriculum history section."

I rolled my eyes, but he makes sense. Just as I am about to pull him closer, he pins my hands against the shelves, smirking at me.

In mock annoyance, I nudge his hands off. "I'm older than you, you're not supposed to be the one pushing me around."

"By a year," he adds. "And I'm taller."

I frown. "By an inch," I stress.

He chuckles and rests his forehead against mine. "It's okay, you're not that tiny. Besides, it's cute."

Rolling my eyes, I mutter, "Merlin, I do not know how to deal with you right now."

Laughing, he shakes his head. "What were you staring at a while ago? When you went in?"

With a jolt, the mental picture of Kerrigan and Sirius resurfaces again, and I feel a surge of anger. I drop my gaze, trying to shake away my thoughts. I'm not supposed to be feeling this.

"Rem? You okay?"

His concerned voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I look up at him, sighing. "Nothing, just tired."

At that, Anthony closes in more of the tiny distance within us. He brings his hand up to curl under my chin and make me look him straight in the eyes. Then, he presses another soft kiss on my mouth, and I whimper a little. I feel the relief slowly creeping in as I wrap my arms around his neck, and give him a quick peck on his lips. When I pull away, only then do I realize that in the right amount of sunlight, there are silver flecks in his deep blue eyes. Makes his eyes look silver... Silver eyes.

I shut my eyes tight for a second, as if I can blink away the thoughts brewing at the back of my head. Guilt starts to bubble up inside me and I look away, scared that, somehow, if he looks into my eyes he'll see what I'm thinking of.

However, when he sighs, I look back at him. I open my mouth to say something – not sure what exactly – but he beats me to it.

"We don't have to do this, you know," he mutters, looking concerned.

I feel a prick of uneasiness because I can hear insecurity in his voice and it's something I've only heard from him the morning after we slept together.

"Hey," I say, cupping his face now. "I'm good. I'm great. This... This is great."

An uncertain, but genuine smile spreads on Anthony's face before he leans in to give him a quick peck on the nose. "You're great."

I smile, trying to get lost in him. His eyes – blue, not silver. His lips. His laugh. His touch. But as I pull him closer, our mouths barely brush against each other when a voice makes us tear away from each other. I suddenly remember that there is one student who would willingly read up on off-curriculum history.

"Jesus. Fucking. Christ."

We whip around to find Lily, her jaw dropped. I feel my face flaming red and shame practically glowing from the surface of my skin. Her green eyes are blazing with disbelief, sternness, and something else that's making me wish I'd stole James' cloak again.

"Lils," Anthony starts. "I can explain. Remus and I were just going to –"

When he breaks off, Lily raises her eyebrows, urging him to continue. Challenging him, more like, as she crosses her arms.

I look at him questioningly, pleading him with my eyes to say something. Anything.

He feels my gaze and looks at me. Then back to Lily. "I... I was expecting you to interrupt me."

With a roll of her eyes and a scoff, she turns her heel, and storms away, disappearing into rows of bookshelves. Anthony and I give each other one panicked look before darting after her.

We finally catch up with her near a few empty tables, and a few heads turn in our direction. I grab Lily by the sleeve, making her spin to face us.

"You're lucky we're in a room full of witnesses because I am very well-educated in a variety of ways I could kill you right now," she muttered in a single breath, glaring at us.

"Look, Lils, it's just that –" Anthony tries to say, but this time, Lily does cut him off.

"Just that what? What was is it again? 'Blokes can be both homosexual and just friends'?" She asks in a mocking tone, quoting Anthony from weeks ago.

"Right," I say, in defeat. "Look, Lils, I don't see –"

"What the problem is? Well, how about that you," she starts, staring pointedly at me, "have trust issues and are dealing with things you can't exactly be distracted from right now." Then, she turns to Anthony. "And you will shag anything with a prick when you should be focusing on your O.W.L.s."

Anthony scowls at her. "You're exaggerating, don't you reckon? Look, this may be a bit messed up, but I really like him, okay? This is different, I swear."

I look at the floor, trying to hide my blush from his words, but look up as soon as I hear Lily sigh.

"I don't want to deal with you guys right now, I just came here to talk to Remus. You, on the other hand, should get back to class before I tell your new boyfriend over here about the time you had a huge crush on –"

Anthony groans, and interrupts her, "Blimey, calm down, I'm going!"

"Good," Lily replies, narrowing her eyes at him.

Anthony rolls his eyes and turns to me. "See you later, yeah?" he asks, squeezing my hand before letting go. I nod and watch him leave before turning to scowl at Lily.

"He's not my boyfriend," I say curtly.

Lily shrugged. "Didn't hear him deny anything."

"You are such a –"

"Before you finish that, will you please enlighten me on what the bloody hell you're doing?"

I sigh. "Look, I really don't know why this happened, okay? I just needed him and he was there. I know that it just seems like I'm using him to get over Sirius, but I really like him, okay? Sirius has nothing to do with this."

Lily, who I expect to hit me with another retort, just shakes her head. "That's kind of what I want to talk to you about, Rem."

I raise my eyebrows at her. "Sirius?"

She nods, looking around to check whether anyone is close enough to hear us. "No matter what you do, Sirius will always matter, and that's why I'm concerned. I know he's been a total arse, but I'm kind of worried about him right now, Rem."

My heartbeat picks up its pace. "What are you talking about?"

Combing through her hair with her fingers nervously, she lowers her voice. "Snape has been trying to reach out to me lately."

I feel a sick punch to the stomach, a look of disgust appearing on my face. "Again? I thought he has well given up on that by now."

"He has...Well, he did," she corrects herself. "But lately he's been sending me these letters, telling me to be careful and to look out. Telling me to that I should be extra cautious in the next few weeks..."

A feeling of dread creeps over me. "You don't think...?"

"That he's trying to warn me against whatever he and that nasty lot of his are planning? Probably. But my point is, Regulus is a part of this too, most likely. Sirius is in a bad place right now and to keep him at this much distance during times like this is dangerous, Rem."

"What am I supposed to do, Lily? I can't even stand looking at him." Because everytime I do, my heart breaks all over again, I don't add. And I can imagine the feeling being mutual," I mutter bitterly, but I can already feel anxiety growing inside of me. I know she's right, but how can I help him when we can barely even talk to each other these days?

"Look, all I'm saying is, don't let him stray too far away from your sight. And don't let your feelings for him – or for Anthony, for that matter – cloud anything right now, okay? I'm just... I'm worried. I know that if Sirius gets hurt, physically or otherwise, you and James will go crumbling right after. I don't think I can stand that, Rem."

My heart lurches, feeling the impact of her words slowly. Then I nod. "Fine, I'll look out for him. But I can't guarantee that I'm gonna be helpful. He's hell bent on staying away from me."

Lily smiles sadly. "I just need to hear that you'll try, really. I'm just so stressed about everything and you guys turning a blind eye to each other isn't exactly comforting. You lot are total fucking idiots, but I care about you blokes, you know that, right?"

I chuckle. "Yeah, I know, Lils. Fine, I'll try to be civil to him. Tame the dog and all that."

She raises an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Suddenly missing Sirius a lot more than I have in the past weeks, I just smile and shake my head. "Never mind."

Sirius wasn't around during dinner, and while under normal circumstances, I would have been relieved, what Lily said has left me feeling concerned.

I jog up to the dorms and head to our room. As I open the door, I stop in my tracks.

I blink a few times until I realize I'm not seeing double. Instead, I am staring at Regulus and Sirius. Sometimes it's easy to forget that they look almost identical save for the hair. They stop arguing – or at least that's what they seem to be doing. Their fists are balled, eyes narrowed, chests heaving.

Regulus turns to me and, if possible, frowns even more. "...Oh, hey, Lupin."

Surprised at his lack of hostility towards me, I just nod curtly. It's not that he qualifies as being as evil as the likes of Snape and Avery, he only spends time with the lot because of reputation and family ties. But just the mere fact that he spends most of his time either around them or with his family makes it hard to believe he even cares to acknowledge my presence.

Sirius looks down at the floor, combing a hand through his locks, his eyes flickering to me every few seconds. The glimpse of that silver makes my stomach flip a little, but I return my focus to Regulus, who's scratching the back of his head anxiously.

"Look, uh, Lupin...We're kind of in the middle of something here," he mutters, casting glances at his brother.

I nod again. "Oh, right. Yeah. I'll be at the Com-"

"No, stay."

This comes from Sirius, and I almost stumble in surprise. Looking at him quizzically, I close my mouth that I haven't noticed is open in shock. "...What?"

He looks at Regulus with a distressed expression, the way his shoulders are moving suggesting that it's taking all of his effort to keep his breathing even. To keep him calm. Glancing back at me, he mutters, "We're not in the middle of anything, we're done. You can stay."

Lily's expression of concern suddenly doesn't seem too far flung from what I feel. If whatever is going on between these two is so bad that Sirius is actually telling me to stay, then worry isn't exactly irrational anymore.

Regulus' shoulders sink, and he rubs his face. "Look, Sirius, I'm just trying to tell you –"

"No," Sirius interrupts. "That's the problem. You're not telling me anything! We're in a middle of a fucking war, with you at the bad end of it, and you think that sending me ambiguous messages about keeping safe is going to bloody help me? It's rubbish, okay? Don't you think I deserve more than that? I'm tired of it, Reg."

Face falling and hands trembling, Regulus looks like he's minutes away from collapsing. He opens his mouth, but before he can reply, I beat him to it.

"Right, I'll be going then," I mutter, not being able to really take in what is happening before my eyes.

As I am about to turn around, Sirius speaks up again. "No, you're not leaving," he says, his voice hoarse and tired. He then motions to Regulus with a jerk of his head. "He's leaving."

Regulus is quick to react. "Come on, Sirius, just talk to me for –"

"Tell me the whole story or leave. If you do neither, I might just have to break my promise of not contacting Mother so I can tell her you've been talking with your oh-so-darling older brother."

Regulus opens and closes his mouth a few more times, before deciding not to retort. He sighs heavily, and gives a defeated nod. "Got it, then."

Sirius glares at him. "Good."

Regulus storms out of the room, casting me an exhausted glance. He slams the door on his way out, making me cringe.

When I look back at him with my heart weighed down by confusion and anxiety, he's just staring at the door.

"Sirius, what –"

"Don't even start, Lupin," he mutters. I am about to talk back, but I realize that his voice isn't full of annoyance or anger towards me. It is instead riddled with fatigue and despair. So instead of pushing, I nod and walk to my own bed.

Later, Frank, Peter, and James still haven't arrived from the Common Room and I am tucked away in my covers. I am quiet enough to pretend that I am asleep. My skin feels raw and my heart is threatening to break as I hear Sirius cry – for the first time in over year – from across the room.

Preview: "Dammit, don't you fucking die on me."