Featuring Kasuka.

Enjoy!

Shizuo

I watched as the raven disappeared behind the door, not quite slamming it behind him. I rolled my eyes at his overdramatic tendencies, but brushed it off as something he would just have to get over by himself, eventually. Whenever that may be.

With an exhausted sigh, I fell to the foot of the bed, leaning back with outstretched arms, and collapsing onto the soft padding behind me. I closed my eyes, as if waiting for the heaviness of my lids to finally cast me into a peaceful slumber. As much as I wanted to just fall asleep right then and there, my mind still felt restless.

He'll talk when he's ready, I guess.

Despite my attempts to relax in the silence, the only sound to be heard was the faint noise of the flea drying his hair in the bathroom, I tried to embrace the emptiness of the room. For the first time in a while, it was nice to just breathe, and have some space. It wasn't that I didn't mind my current rooming situation, but the only real peace and quiet I got around here was when I went out for a smoke in the cold. Otherwise, between the flea and Shinra, peace and quiet didn't even exist.

However, even with that said...I was lucky to have friends like them.

Shinra I'd known since elementary school, where he wouldn't stop harassing me about the possible 'science' behind my strength. He'd been like an annoying cold I couldn't shake for weeks, so I eventually gave up trying to get rid of him. He definitely pissed me off, but he never really...did anything other than talk nonstop about random nonsense I couldn't understand. Eventually he just became like a mosquito buzzing in my ear that I learned to drown out.

Kadota I hadn't met until I started high school at Rajin, along with his other odd friends that tagged along with him. He was one of those people that I could sense had an awareness of personal space and boundaries, so we got along just fine. In fact, he's one of the few people I haven't felt the need to punch. He had a good aura to him, too. He was a bright guy and pretty optimistic person in general. Therefore he was essential to our little quartet of friends. That was, if you counted Izaya.

Izaya Orihara was...different from most people. I needn't be reminded again of how we met, but as for most people, well...

Most people enjoyed spending time with friends or loved ones, enjoyed talking and laughing with one another over a holiday break with some tea or hot pot. Some preferred going out in groups during festivals or on the weekends, maybe to a favourite restaurant or karaoke bar. Others liked to indulge in their hobbies privately, perhaps keeping secrets or discreet interests that they fear might ruin the perception of others.

Then there was Izaya, whose hobbies consisted of playing mind games with people he found senseless, gullible or otherwise amusing. He 'loved' humans, so he'd tell you, but I didn't really think he knew what the word 'love' truly meant. He had a twisted outlook on life, and a matching personality to go with it. Orihara Izaya was known for ruining lives, reputations, relationships, and just about anything else he found interesting. He orchestrated schemes and lied about anything and everything to anyone and everyone, including himself.

It was certainly an interesting group, that was for sure. There was never a hint of a dull moment between the four of us. Even with my longing for peace, one particular individual made sure that that goal was always slightly out of reach.

Day in and day out, it would come down to just the two of us riled up over something miniscule. Always ending with the same result. He was always running away from me, and I was always running after him. Much like how things were now. I had finally given up chasing him and he had stopped to let me catch him. You'd think it would stop there, that we would be tired of running. But sure enough, the flea was right back up again running away from something else. Something he feared greater than the violence that usually followed him.

It was affection.

The idea that someone might actually care deeply about him. Even if it was the same guy who threatened to kill him a hundred times over for three, long years. He would run away from an emotion he wasn't familiar with enough to fake. He would run away from his feelings, and he would keep running until he took these emotions with him to his grave. That was the only Izaya the world was allowed to see.

But he had shown me more, as much as he wanted to deny it.

There was only one person I could think to turn to in situations like these. Only one person who I could truly trust with the fragility of my own emotions.

I opened my eyes and looked for my phone that I had left to charge on the table.

Despite being younger, Kasuka was mature for his age. I always admired his level-headedness and logistical way of thinking when one of us was in a tight squeeze. He didn't seem to mind when I asked for his advice, however, I always felt a little guilty for burdening him with his older brother's delima's...

Double checking the display on the clock sitting on the night table, it was a little past midnight on a Saturday. Something told me to go ahead and reach out to my brother. If not for an answer, but for an non-judgemental ear to listen. After all, he was the only one that genuinely understood me.

I grabbed my phone and went back to lay in that same spot in bed. To my surprise, I had several missed calls and 'happy birthday' texts from Kasuka, my mom, and even her boyfriend had reached out to say, "Happy 18th birthday, sport!". It made me smile, but I felt a pang of guilt for not contacting them earlier today, knowing they would at least like to check in with me. I made a mental note to do that first thing in the morning, as I scrolled, looking for the previous messages I had received from my brother.

Kasuka : [ You shouldn't speak so lowly of yourself, Brother. ]

Kasuka : [ "People change their mind. Today you hate someone, tomorrow you may become fond of them." -Naoki from Love in Tokyo ]

Kasuka : [ Happy birthday, Brother. I tried calling, but I figured you were busy. ]

Kasuka : [ Mother says happy birthday too. ]

I smiled at the remembrance of the first couple of messages Kasuka had sent me a few days ago. I was certain now, that I was in need of his wisdom. I just hoped he was awake.

Shizuo : [ Thanks Kasuka. Sorry I didn't pick up earlier, my phone was in the hotel all day. Tell mom I said thanks too. I promise to call first thing in the morning. ]

I set my phone down but it almost immediately vibrated.

Kasuka : [ I hope you had a good birthday, Brother. I will tell her. ]

Shizuo : [ I didn't expect you to be awake...unless I woke you up...sorry… ]

Kasuka : [It's fine. I was already awake. ]

I wasn't sure if that was really the case, but chose to ignore it.

Shizuo : [ Can I ask you something? ]

Kasuka : [ Anything. ]

I tried typing out different ways of proclaiming my predicament, but kept backspacing, because no matter how I worded it, it sounded more and more lame each time. Before I could send anything he had already responded.

Kasuka : [ Is it about Izaya-san? ]

My heart sped up. It felt like it had been so long since I had seen him last, that I almost forgot how perceptive Kasuka was.

Shizuo : [ yeah… ]

Shizuo : [ He was actually the one that texted you before… ]

Kasuka : [ I see. ]

Shizuo : [ I think...there might be something though. ]

Kasuka : [ Something, Brother? ]

"..."

Shizuo : [ I think...I might have feelings for him. ]

I couldn't stop myself from getting slightly flustered from telling my younger brother something like this for the first time. Especially since I didn't usually have a soft side to openly show. This was a huge breakthrough already, despite the closeness of our relationship.

Anxiety of not hearing from him immediately made me picture his disapproving expression. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest as I tried to imagine what kind of lecture he might send. A few minutes had passed before I got my next response.

Kasuka : [ Did you try showing him how you feel? ]

Relieved by his understanding, I was even more flustered at the inquisition.

Shizuo : [ ...something like that. ]

That was a terrible response! Why did I say that! What if he asks what I mean by that?!

I quickly typed again :

Shizuo : [ Let's just say he knows I have feelings for him. ]

Shizuo : [And I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. ]

Kasuka : [ That's a good thing, right? ]

I could hear Kasuka's unwavering tone as I read the message, and only I would be able to pick up the confusion behind his question.

Shizuo : [ He doesn't know how to deal with his emotions. Like he won't come to terms with them or accept them..but, in a way, he accepts me. ]

Kasuka : [ This is the same person who got you hit by a truck freshmen year right... ]

Kasuka : [ ...The person you call 'flea'? ]

I could definitely hear the sternness now, in his question.

Shizuo : [ That's...yes. It's the same flea. ]

Kasuka : [ ...Brother I thought you wanted to kill him. ]

Shizuo : [ So did I. ]

I couldn't believe how stupid I sounded.

Kasuka : [ I always thought the 'flea' person liked you back. He seems to like harassing you...Maybe that's just Izaya-san's way of telling you he has feelings for you too, because he doesn't know how to say it. ]

Hearing Kasuka putting that much effort into a text made me reread it a few times to absorb all of what he was trying to get across.

But wait… 'liked you BACK'?!

Had Kasuka always assumed I had feelings for him the whole time?!

A shiver ran down my spine, feeling betrayed and even more embarrassed now. Shinra was one thing, but I lived with my brother.

I was trying to remember anything that would have in the slightest bit, even hinted of me having feelings for that...that damn louse. How could Kasuka think something so absurd? If anything, he was always the ear end of hearing me complain about the flea everyday I came home from school!

"..."

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. There was a more pressing matter at the moment; a certain pest who would eventually have to come out of the bathroom, I thought, as I side-eyed it.

Shizuo : [ I think he has a hard time coping with someone liking him back. He's afraid of letting people get close to him…he lies to himself a lot. ]

Kasuka : [ Have you told him directly how you feel? Perhaps that would reassure him. ]

I hit my head back against the wooden board. Not even I thought I was ready for that conversation, honestly.

Shizuo : [ I don't know what to say or how to say it. ]

Kasuka : [ I'm sure, when the time comes, you'll know exactly what to say, Brother. If his feelings for you are true, he will have the response you are looking for. Don't rush yourself. ]

Kasuka : [ "The future is not a straight line. It is filled with many crossroads. There must be a future that we can choose for ourselves." -Akira (1988) ]

I did feel a wave of relief wash over me at his reassuring words. A familiar smile crept on my face, as it always did when I received cheesy one-liners as part of my life advice. He was right, I just needed to go with the flow. Soon enough Izaya would realize that it's pointless to run away from his feelings forever. And maybe by that time I'd know what to say to him.

I thanked Kasuka for being understanding and apologized for keeping him up so late.

Kasuka : [ It's fine, Brother. It was good to hear from you. ]

We told each other goodnight and I closed my phone with a sigh of relief.

"Surely, I thought someone must be dying by the look on your face while you were texting so aggressively. I'm surprised that old thing didn't snap in half."

I jumped at the sudden voice invading my thoughts.

Looking up to meet Izaya standing at the foot of the bed decorated in yet, another unsurprising black ensemble with a hand on his narrow hip. His face shown no expression and his voice was apathetic. There wasn't even a wave of emotion to his usual teasing tone.

"Uh...Kas—"

"How is your little brother? Wishing you a happy, promising, welcome into adulthood?" He said as he began climbing his way onto the bed.

My surprise moved me to the side to make room for him, as we sat in matching positions; legs outstretched with our backs against the headboard. Neither of us made eye contact.

"Yeah. I forgot to call my family today...Well, I guess it was yesterday now, huh?"

There was an eerie silence between us.

"Have you…" I drifted off before firmly stating my question. "Have you even heard from your family since we came here?" It was too late before I could correct the sour tone in my voice, having remembering our more than awkward conversation at the cafe.

Izaya didn't seem to care either way.

"My father sent me a grocery list of things to pick up on my way home from school, yesterday." As if mocking himself, he smiled inwardly. "I told him that the market was out of the ingredients to make dinner."

"Did you now…"

"Then I forwarded the message to my sisters for them to deal with it. It isn't like my family eats together regularly, anyway."

"Are you close to them?"

"Hah!" He snickered to himself. "Those two? I wouldn't say we're close at all, really. The both of them are just one big thorn in my side…" He looked over his shoulder at me, sending me a casual smile. "But don't worry, they're not nearly as bad as you. In fact, I don't think anyone can be as terrible as you are, Shizu-chan~."

I gave him a disgruntled look as our eyes met. The playful glint in his eyes was back and something tugged at the corner of his lips.

"I've decided I'm not in a bad mood anymore," he stated, matter-of-factually.

"Oh? And what could have possibly happened in these past thirty seconds that made you decide that?"

"That hideous face you made," he grinned. "It reminded me that if I don't smile more, I'll end up looking as run down as you do when I turn 18." He leaned over and poked the space between my eyebrows that furrowed as usual, prodding it harshly. "Maybe I should have gotten you some anti-aging cream as a present instead, hm?"

"I don't think I need that just yet," I responded flatly, swatting his hand away.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged, "it probably wouldn't even work on a monster like you anyway."

"Will you ever give that up?"

"I'm only stating the obvious, Shizu—"

Before he could continue whatever monotonous spiel he was going to go on about, I pushed my arm out gently to knock him onto his side of the mattress, taking him by surprise. I crossed my arms again smirking down at him from my peripheral.

He noticed my change in mood as well, and smiled his familiar up-to-no-good smirk. He didn't bother fully getting up, but instead propped his head up on his hand.

"Ah, careful now, I can only hide so many bruises," he chided.

"Huh?"

He rolled up his sleeve to show a newly blooming bruise around his small wrist. The back of his hand also had a yellow-green undertone to it that spread up to his knuckles.

"'The hell did you do now—"

"YOU did this, actually," he said admiring the forming purple splotches of skin.

"I—!"

"Do you not remember? Hm let's see…'You wanted to know what I was into, right?'," he recited with his eyes closed in a deeper voice, as if he had been mentally rehearsing the line. "That's what you said to me when you pinned m-"

"Okay, okay! I get it!" I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, covering his mouth with my hand. The soft lips pressed under my palm shifted into what I knew was a condescending smile. "Um...Sorry about that…" I mumbled, not daring to lock eyes.

He gently moved my hand out of the way with his own, not letting go.

"Ah, but it's just like like an animal, ne? Trying to leave your mark," he chuckled.

"I didn't try to mark you."

"But you did successfully—"

"Shhh! Dammit!" I shushed him waving another frantic hand against his lips to silence him again. "It's weird when you...when you just say it so casually!"

He was grinning wider than before now when he pushed my hand out of the way.

"Shizu-chan, what's there to be embarrassed about? You shouldn't be ashamed of how kinky you really are! I already knew that getting myself into the situation!" He said as his voice got louder.

"Flea, shut up!" I said in a very impatiently loud whisper. I started the countdown from ten in my head.

"Hmm...I wonder, do you think the neighbors heard us? Or maybe...felt us?" he cooed past his cheshire grin.

My blood ran cold and it dawned on me that I hadn't thought about the possibility of us being loud. Too loud.

"If I remember, our whole graduating class share the same hallway...Hmm, which of our lucky classmates will it be, I wonder~?" he said, side-eyeing the wall next to us. "Or maybe sound traveled far enough across the hall to Shinra and Dotachin's room? Do you think people are still over there?"

My stomach started to knot and I broke into a nervous sweat.

"Ah, but no one knocked and told us to be quiet, so maybe no one heard us after all...Unless of course, they just didn't have the heart to tell us to stop~," he lowered his voice in a thick, velvety tone.

"Izaya-kun…" I felt a low growl rising in my throat.

"What did you tell the front desk by the way? Did they giggle when you called so late at night in need of new sheets?" he snickered.

"No! I told them you had a fucking bloody nose!"

"Did you now? And where exactly was the blood?"

The fucking permanent smirk plastered on his goddamn face had me boiling. How could he find this amusing?! What if people found out?! What if we get in trouble?! Suspended, even?!

"IIIIza—"

"Oh fine, I'll stop. You look like you're going to have an aneurism with all that blood going to your face," he pouted, only looking half as amused as before. "You don't have to worry about people hearing us. The rooms are soundproof. I saw it on the brochure."

I could finally let out the breath I had been holding. Well there goes half of my anxiety.

"Shinra obviously didn't text you by the looks of it, but he actually was concerned by how many shots I took and asked if I was okay."

"Oh." Was all I could muster to say.

"I told him I just needed to sleep it off and he said that, 'as your unofficial doctors you should both drink lots of water to flush out your systems.'...I'm starting to get a pounding headache myself, so I'm going to take him up on that brilliant idea." The raven got up and padded over to the mini fridge, getting two water bottles.

"Thanks," I responded when he handed me mine.

"I hope your worries have been eased," he spoke into the bottle as he tipped his head back to take a sip.

I followed suit, still irritated that the louse would create those fears in the first place.

We didn't say much else after that. I drank two bottles of water while flea finished brushing his teeth. It was past 2am and I was barely holding on. I got up to use the bathroom after Izaya was done, half awake as finished my nightly routine.

Leaving just the small night light on in the bathroom, I walked back into the darkness of the room where the flea had already turned off all the lights, and fumbled my way around to my bed.

Unbeknownst to me, it was already occupied when I was climbed under the covers, stopping midway.

"Flea, what are you doing? This is my bed."

"..."

I sighed. "Izaya…"

"Isn't it like...a thing...to…" he began slowly.

"...to?"

"Nevermind."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring him and tucked myself in next to him. I made sure to leave enough breathing space between us. Just closing my eyes, I could already feel sleep washing over me. I was almost there when I felt something, or someone nuzzle into my shoulder. Maybe I was too tired to think or care, but I subconsciously found his waist and pulled him over to my side of the bed.

I could hear his surprised gasp at the suddenly close proximity of our bodies. He waited a moment to shift into a position that was more comfortable, and settled on having his back towards my chest. That was fine with me, and of course he'd deny and blame me for everything in the morning, but I didn't care. I could feel his hair tickling my chin, and for some reason it smelled like my shampoo...Of course it could have very well been my imagination, as well, feeling him turn back to face me, if only for a moment, to peck my nose and whisper an almost inaudible, "goodnight, Shizu-chan".

All I remembered was feeling his warm body next to mine; breathing in sync, slowly relaxing and giving into the sleep that consumed him. I didn't dream that night, but there wasn't anything else I'd rather been thinking about once I did finally drift off into a calm, peaceful, slumber.