A/N: Not as long as I prefer but I am honestly so tired, I have a splitting headache. That said, here's chapter 45.

Chapter 45 summary: In which Oliver and company wake up, Kaiba finds a hole, and Seth is desperate.

Awake and Desperation

Oliver gasped when he was suddenly slingshot back to reality. He could tell from the flustered expressions on Mai's and Shaadi's faces that they were just as surprised as he was by the abrupt dismissal. He could only wonder how Ishizu, or Isis, was handing it. At least she was already in bed.

"Well then," Mai said, rubbing her temples to fight off a headache Oliver could feel growing in his head as well. "Something's got Kaiba annoyed."

"It had something to do with Seth, I think," the vigilante said, eyeing his Regent still in the trance thoughtfully.

"It did," Shaadi said, eyes shadowed with worry. "I...could not fully understand what was said, but..." He trailed away, choosing to keep his thoughts to himself. Stretching out his legs, her stuffed his arms in his sleeves and rolled his shoulders. "Oliver," he said, "would happen to have a shower here? I would like to wash off, if I could."

Mai instantly perked up. "Oh yes! Do you?"

Shaadi grimaced and glanced at the Sorceress warily. "If it's all the same to you, Mai, I would like to go first. Your showers are..." he pondered the word carefully, "obscenely long."

Oliver tried very hard to hide his laughter when the normally unflappable Shaadi all but flinched and wilted under Mai's savage glare. "I got one, yeah," he said as he stood and stretched, enjoying the way his back popped. "It's over there in the corner by the weights. It's a combined restroom and shower."

Shaadi groaned when Mai burst into a brilliant smile. "Then I'll be rinsing off if anyone needs me." She stood gracefully, grabbed her toiletries from her bag, and patted Isono Roland's shoulder. "Thanks for keeping watch, you two," she said, winking. "I owe you coffee." Dodging the other people in the room, she sauntered off to the bathrooms.

Shaadi sighed heavily and bowed his head. "In other words, I will not have a warm shower tonight."

Oliver smiled and patted the man's shoulder sympathetically. "I'm afraid not, buddy."

"Eh? Afraid o' what?" Jounouchi asked, coming out of his trance followed closely by Yuugi.

"Nothing," Oliver said diplomatically.

Jounouchi nodded until he caught a good look at Shaadi's depressed manner. "Yo, dude, you okay man?"

Shaadi ignored him and leaned back against the couch to catch some rest since he would not be showering tonight. Yuugi also watched the Egyptian curiously until Oliver finally had mercy on his friend.

"Mai's taking a shower," he said simply. The effect was immediate. Both Yuugi and Jounouchi paled and slouched in defeat.

"I have a question," a deep voice said startling the group from their funk. They looked up to see J'onn staring at them in something between interest and fascination. "When you hold Court," he began, "are you using a form of astral projection?"

Yuugi lifted an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"When I followed you-"

"You followed us?" Shaadi exclaimed, pale-brown eyes wide with shock. He turned his eerie eyes to his still entranced Regent and said slowly. "I would keep that information to yourself if I were you. My Regent is not known for his mercy when it comes to interlopers."

"No, he isn't," Yami said, joining the group with Wonder Woman and Flash. "I agree with Shaadi. Also, next time you decide to follow us on such a venture, I highly suggest you ask permission first. Should you get lost in the Shadows, the chances of your safe return are slim."

"Yeah, and be glad Mai didn' ain't here right now," Jounouchi added sagely. "She woulda smacked ya clear into next year."

Wonder Woman humphed and smiled proudly. "I think I could like this woman."

"Yeah," Yuugi said. "You two are a lot alike."

Oliver stood and gestured for J'onn to follow him. "I'll pull the couch out when he," he nodded to Kaiba, "gets back."

Yuugi nodded gratefully. "Thank you. I apologize for the inconvenience. "

Oliver waved it off. "Don't worry about it. You're making up for it by helping me get this jackass out of my city."

Yuugi and Yami exchanged a look and something in their smiles made Oliver feel strange. Dark crimson and cheerful violet stared directly at him and Yami said, "Yes. Your city indeed."

"Uh-"

"Pharaoh," Shaadi said. "You are being intimidating again."

Yami chuckled. "My apologies."

"We meant this really is your city," Yuugi said. "The native Shadows here only truly answer to you. They obey us only because we're their monarchs. They wouldn't answer to us otherwise." He grinned. "You've got quite a loyal following."

Oliver glanced at Kaiba who was still entranced and felt a surge of pride. "Is that why he differed to me when we first met?"

"I'd say so," Marik said, startling Oliver who whirled to see Marik standing behind him. The blonde Egyptian grinned innocently. "We often differ to the person the local Shadows of the area answer to when we're new to the location. It's a sign of acknowledgment and respect. If Kaiba differed to you, it was because he found you and your loyal Shadows interesting."

"Yes," Shaadi said. "It is considered rare for local Shadows to choose a single user as their preferred user. When they do, it is something we respect. It would be like abiding by the local laws of a country you are visiting while remaining true to your own customs and beliefs as best you can."

Marik nodded absently, staring at Kaiba. "How long do you think he'll stay that way?"

Yuugi's expression grew grim. "I don't know. He'll come out when he's ready though."

"Don't worry," Yami said. "He often lingers there for long periods of time. It's one of the few times he can interact with someone he cares about."

"Kisara?" Oliver guessed.

Yami blinked in surprise but nodded all the same. "Yes, and others."

Oliver bit back his concern and used the group's distraction to tug J'onn away from the group and to the desk with his computer on it. When they were successfully out of the way, he turned to his friend and said softly, "In answer to your question before, yes, I think that was a form of astral projection. I'm not sure if it's the version you're familiar with, but..." He shrugged and rubbed his neck encouraging it to pop. "I mean, I've never experienced astral projection before so I'm not really the one to talk but I do think that was close to what that was."

J'onn nodded. "I feel unnerved by it," he admitted softly. "They-" The Martian glanced at Kaiba furtively. "He feels empty, much like a dead person feels; as if there is nothing there, even though I know there it is."

Golden eyes glanced down to the Kaiba's Deck of cards sitting on the floor. The card for the Tormentor God of Obelisk lay face up on the floor between Kaiba and his Deck covered by the Regent's hand. J'onn shifted, turning away from the sight uncomfortably. "I felt a power from that card much like what I felt when he drew what I assume to be the same card during your private meeting earlier this morning."

Oliver leaned back. "Was that really this morning?" he murmured in awe. "It feels like it was yesterday."

Sea green lips quirked up. "I understand how you feel. However," his golden eyes flickered back yo Kaiba's Deck before returning to the vigilante. "That card, is that the one Kaiba showed you? The Obelisk card?"

"Tormentor God of Obelisk," Oliver corrected. "Yes it is. It's," he paused in thought. "When I saw it, him, I could... I could feel him. He was alive to me in a way I can't even explain. I wanted," he looked at his hand remembering the almost overwhelming urge to touch the card. "I wanted to do anything he commanded even though I hardly knew anything about him."

J'onn nodded slowly. "Perhaps it was his presence. I too felt such a curious pull." He did not blink when Oliver fought back a yawn. "Rest. I will take care of things here."

"Thanks," Oliver said. "I'll do that after I kick the others out of here."

J'onn watched Arrow walk away silently before glancing curiously back to Kaiba. It was strange. He had the oddest feeling he was being watched even though he knew Kaiba was...gone. Intriguing.

"Seth!" Kaiba yelled, appearing in the void above the Earth where he held his Court. "Seth!"

Silence. There was only ever silence here. Silence and peace. Normally, it was a welcome relief from the stressful world outside, but now it was too peaceful. It felt wrong. Where was Seth?

Kaiba reached out with his Shadows and felt the distinct lack of the ancient spirit who tended to haunt his every move. He felt alone. It was wrong. He should not be alone. He hated being alone. Mokuba was always there with him. Then Seth joined him even when Mokuba was not in sight, Seth had been there.

For some reason, with Seth gone, he felt more alone than he ever imagined he could be. He could still feel Mokuba sitting in his lap outside if he focused hard enough, but his little brother's presence was no longer as comforting as it used to be. It did not fill the hole like Seth had.

Hole? Kaiba froze in his desperate search and examined the gaping maw in his soul he never noticed before. How could there be a gap that size in his soul and he not notice? Better yet, why had the Shadows not filled it? He should be dead from a gap that size.

"Do you understand now?" Seth murmured behind him. Kaiba spun around to stare at Seth, releasing a breath he never noticed he had been holding. Seth's eyes were cold and sad. "You are not whole, Seto. You are a Ka, a very strong Ka. But without a Ba you are not at your full potential."

"What is this?" Kaiba demanded, welcoming the more familiar warmth of fury. "What have you done?"

Seth sighed. "I have done nothing. I am unable to do anything because you keep rejecting me. Why is it so hard for you to admit your soul is broken?"

"Because it isn't," Kaiba growled.

"It is though," Seth insisted. "You felt it, the hole. I did not put that there, you were born with it."

"I wasn't."

"Again you refuse to believe me," Seth said wearily. "Do you truly hate me so much that you would reject my words to you? Why would I lie to you, Seto?" he said louder. "I cannot lie to you. I am literally incapable of lying to you."

"I don't believe you," Kaiba said, glare daggers at Seth. "I can't."

"Why not?"Seth pleaded, taking a step towards the Regent. "Why can't you believe me? Is it because you fear me, what I am, what I can do to you? I am your Ba. I will never deliberately harm you. Is it because you fear revealing your weaknesses to someone other than yourself?" Kaiba flinched. "Do you fear losing yourself?"

"I won't disappear!" Kaiba cried.

"Then stop rejecting me!" Seth yelled back. "The harder you push me back, the weaker I become and the closer you get to insanity and death. I will not last against you much longer if this goes on." His eyes grew tired and sorrowful. "Please, I only want to live."

"You had your chance," Kaiba said viciously. "You all but killed yourself."

Seth flinched. "I had nothing to live for then," he murmured. "Everything I knew, everything I loved was gone. I was alone and broken, half my soul abandoned me."

"This is my life, not yours," Kaiba said firmly. "You had your chance and you blew it. It's my turn so leave me to it."

Seth flinched. "You say that," he said, voice wavering and yet his eyes refused to shed tears. "And yet you still are unable to banish me." His voice grew stronger. "Somewhere inside you, a part of your soul knows what I am and longs to be reunited with me. Just now, when you thought I was gone, you felt it. I know you did. Even if I was not aware of your every thought and feeling, I would have know just by the look on your face." Seth tentatively placed his hands on Kaiba's cheeks. "You were terrified I was gone forever. The loneliness you felt is identical to the desolation I felt when half of my soul abandoned me leaving me to die alone and after as I wandered, endlessly seeking you out. Seeking you and only you." He pressed his forehead against Kaiba's gently and let his eyelids slip shut. "My Ka," he whispered.

Kaiba pushed Seth away, fighting down the strange emotions that welled up inside of him every time Seth called him that. "Why do insist of bothering me?" he ground out.

Seth stumbled back, struggling to regain his balance. "Bothering?" he breathed. "Is that all I do in your eyes?" His eyes grew cold and distant. "Fine. So be it. I will retreat into my own soul room. I will not come out unless you summon me." He bowed stiffly. "Farewell," blue eyes stared Kaiba down in challenge, "my Ka."

He vanished before Kaiba could rail on him for using that annoying nickname. Guilt pricked the Regent's consciousness but he pushed it down viciously. He did not want to be lost to an incarnation who died over 5,000 years ago. He was Kaiba Seto. He did not want to disappear.

So why did he feel like he ripped his soul out and tossed into the trash can?

Seth collapsed against the cold, stone wall of his soul room. The room was baren except for a small corner where he huddled surrounded by a few crumbling scrolls, an old pillow, a threadbare blanket, and a single, small blue glass bottle. He cradled the bottle in his hands and fought back his tears.

Each rejection was worse than the last. He felt them like physical blows. He would not be able to take much more of this. Watery blue eyes grew wide in horror when Seth realized he could see the stone floor through one of his hands. Terrified, he gave a small cry and huddled close, focusing all of his will to live on his hand. He felt the tiny blue glass bottle grew warm as his body heat seeped into it.

He popped the cork out of the bottle and took a small whiff of cyprinum before quickly replacing the cork, stoppering the bottle. He drew strength from the scent his mother, long dead and turned to dust, had cherished. He used it as an anchor to hold himself in this place, this desolate place.

It was a temporary fix and would not hold for much longer. The bonds holding Seth with Kaiba were snapping one by one. Soon they would all be gone and he would be cast adrift and fade away.

Was it so wrong to want to live?