Chapter 11

Early the next morning, the three Barkley brothers boarded the train in Placerville, nervous and not entirely optimistic, but they boarded. There was a two hour layover in Sacramento before they would take the train south to Stockton. Jarrod took the opportunity to look in on his wife, and bring his brother Nick to meet her for the first time.

Eloise was working in the freight office when they got there, and when they came in the door, she flew into her husband's arms. They kissed and they laughed and when Jarrod said, "Honey, this is my brother Nick. Nick, this is my wife, Eloise," Nick saw genuine happiness in their eyes.

Nick was not always the most polite man in the room, but now he was compelled to take his hat off without even thinking about it. "Hello, ma'am," he said.

Eloise reached for his hand, and he took hers. "I'm very happy to meet you, Nick." She looked back at Jarrod. "How long are you here for?"

"The train to Stockton leaves in less than two hours," Jarrod said. "I'm not sure how long I'll be gone."

"Be gone as long as you need to be," Eloise said. "Just remember to let me know if it's going to be more than two or three days. Have you gentlemen eaten? Henry can watch the office while I whip you up a few scrambled eggs."

Across the room, Henry waved obligingly. Jarrod said, "Some scrambled eggs sound wonderful."

They all went back into the apartment Jarrod shared with his wife, and she herded them around the kitchen table, saying, "I have plenty of coffee. Are you interested?"

Three "yeses" came out almost at the same time. Eloise served it up and set about scrambling eggs.

"Beautiful wife you have there, Jarrod," Nick said. "How did you ever rate a lady like that?"

"I don't know, Nick," Jarrod said, watching his wife with a sparkle in his blue eyes. "I certainly didn't deserve her."

Eloise said, "We just met and things clicked right away."

Jarrod knew Nick had the question on his mind, so he answered it. "I was still battling my addictions when we met. Eloise was a nurse and she's the one who put me with the doctor who was finally able to help me."

"Then I thank you, Eloise," Nick said. "Pappy never looked so happy."

The nickname left Jarrod stunned for a moment. He hadn't heard it since before the war, and he certainly never thought he'd hear it again. He sure didn't deserve it.

"Pappy?" Heath asked.

"An old nickname," Jarrod said. "I think Nick came up with it when we were kids."

Two hours were nowhere near enough with his wife as far as Jarrod was concerned, but he understood why she was not interested in going to Stockton with them. "You have too many hurdles to go over," she said as she kissed him good-bye. "If I were there, too many people would want to be polite."

"And we don't need polite on this visit, do we?" Jarrod said.

"Just be open and be strong," Eloise said. "Once they know the truth, they may very well understand."

Jarrod took a deep breath. "We'll find out. Are you sure you're all right alone for a little longer?"

Eloise smiled. "I'm fine."

Jarrod kissed her. "Stay that way until I get home."

Nick and Heath watched for a moment, but then looked away, giving them privacy. Nick felt a startling pang of jealousy. Jarrod was so much farther along the path to sanity than he was.

They hurried on to catch the train, and luckily it was ten minutes late, because so were they. They boarded at the last minute and soon were on their way south.

This time, they were all rather silent. They had said a lot to each other over the last few days. Now it seemed like they were all talked out, but Heath thought it was something else. He could tell his brothers were downright scared, and it was getting worse the closer they got to Stockton. He understood. He knew there wasn't much he could say to make it easier. Truth be told, he was scared himself. This whole "visit home" plan was his idea. What if it backfired badly? Could he be ruining the home he just found?

Stockton came up so quickly they couldn't believe it. As the train came to a halt, they grabbed their bags and detrained.

And there they were, back where they never thought they'd be again. And they were arriving by train, just as they had when coming home from the war. Nick had come into town first back then, and now he remembered how dark and ugly he felt when he saw this place. His mother and father were there to pick him up. When he looked at them then, he almost hated them, and at the time he didn't understand why. Now he did, and now he was losing the anger. He was just scared.

Jarrod had arrived a few weeks later when coming home from the war. His homecoming was something he scarcely remembered, because he hadn't had any laudanum in days, and his was screaming inside from withdrawal symptoms. Now, he closed his eyes, because the horror of those symptoms was coming back over him as if they had never left.

"You boys all right?" Heath asked.

They both nodded, but it was clear they were both really frightened.

Heath said, "Let's go to the livery. My horse is there, and we can rent a rig for you two."

Nick and Jarrod both just nodded and followed Heath down the street.

They did not notice the young blonde woman watching them from the dry goods store they passed only a block away. Audra knew they'd be coming in today, and she knew she could get a look at them from here without them seeing her. She thought she would detest the sight of them, and in a way she did, but in a way, she ached to go after them, especially Nick. She had missed him more than she missed Jarrod, because she knew him better and because he had never laid a hand on her. But she was also angrier with him, because he had left of his own free will. He had left her of his own free will.

As she watched them pass by, she didn't know if she wanted to go home or not. "Is everything all right, Audra?" the woman behind the counter, cutting some cloth for another customer, asked.

Audra turned and nodded. "Yes, Mrs. Perry. It's fine."

XXXXX

Heath rode along on his horse while Nick drove himself and Jarrod in a buggy that also carried everyone's bags. Nick and Jarrod were still very silent, and they even tensed up as soon as they came onto Barkley property. Soon they were spotting herds of horses, then a herd of cattle, and men on horseback who turned to watch them.

"I wonder if we know any of these men," Jarrod said, the first words he'd uttered out loud since they left the livery.

"I don't, not offhand," Nick said.

"Heath said McCall was still here," Jarrod said.

"Between him and the kid, the ranch seems to be doing pretty well," Nick said. "They don't look like they've missed us at all."

"They haven't, Nick," Jarrod said. "We won't be getting a rousing welcome, you know."

"I know," Nick said. "I guess we can blame ourselves mostly for that, can't we?"

Jarrod chuckled a little at Nick's admission. "We've gotten older and wiser, haven't we?"

"I guess we'll find out in a few minutes," Nick said.

They crested the still familiar hill that was the last high ground before they would drift down to the house. They could see the place ahead of them. It looked exactly the same. The bunkhouses may have been painted a different color, but that was about it. When they pulled into the stable yard, a man they did not know came to meet them and took charge of the buggy and horse.

Heath dismounted and handed his horse off to another man. He asked a third man to take their bags into the house and leave them in the foyer. Jarrod and Nick climbed out of the buggy and stood staring at the house they'd grown up in like it was a snake that was going to bite them.

A young man came toward them from inside the stable. They weren't sure at first, but then they realized this was Eugene, that little boy they had left behind ten years ago. He was not as tall as either of them, but he clearly had a Barkley face and a gangly but solid Barkley build. He did not look welcoming at all.

They didn't know what to say to him, so they said nothing. It was just as well, because the first thing Eugene did was ball up his fist and knock Jarrod straight to the ground.