Also known as The Best, Most Happiness-inducing Mixer in the History of Mankind. Okay, not really.
A/N:
Okay, really long chapter ahead, which I had a lot of fun writing. The reasons are many: lack of a battle (which takes up a good portion of my time otherwise), one actual full-length song parody, plus another half a song (after my disastrous attempts six chapters ago) (side-note 01/01/14: It's as disastrous as ever, I'm an idiot), and the old staple of harem comedies everywhere: the karaoke box.
They don't call it a mixer for nothing.
Also, sorry I took so long. The days between Christmas and New Year were filled with family visits, and between that and preparing for school, I've had less time to write than what I would've preferred. This chapter's also a bit rushed at times, sorry.
I should mention, though, that while the fic has been generally cheerful up to this point in time, there may be some parts of this chapter that are a bit depressing; the reason for that will be revealed in due course. Don't worry, though, because everything will turn out happier in the end; I can't have the protagonists be too down on a holiday special, after all.
Well, that's all from me, so allons-y! Happy New Year 2014, everyone!
Oh, and just like the last one, this Event Chapter is also entirely canon.
(Oh, and to that random reviewer, New Year's Eve. Ta-da)
What struck Calem first as he entered the purple building was the sheer amount of red and green that decorated the lobby.
Literally; one of the wreaths that had been hanging over the doorway had chosen that particular moment to drop, and was now hanging around his head like a ring toss.
"Oh, whoops. That's wasn't supposed to happen."
The brunette cashier strolled over. "Odd; I could've sworn I double-sided taped it on correctly."
"Guess you didn't, huh?" The cool, suave voice of Augustine Sycamore sounded out as he stepped in after Calem.
One of her eyebrows rose as she addressed the professor. "Augustine. How nice of you to drop in. I see you've also brought some new friends."
He shrugged and took out his wallet. "Initiation. So, we'll just be taking the usual all-you-can-sing, plus the drink bar, non-alcoholic. Put it," he held out a credit card, "On my tab."
She crossed her arms. "As much as I'd like to do that, and charge extra for flirting with staff members like I did last time-"
"You did what now?!"
"We're fully booked. Must be the new theme he set today."
Shauna, who was the last to finally enter the karaoke box, looked around, before exclaiming, "Why is this karaoke box Christmas-themed?!"
The cashier, who had returned to her position at the, well, cashier, pointed at a picture of a handsome blond man, that was hung next to the register. "That's René, the guy who owns the place. He likes to change the theme of the mixer's rooms every few days; until yesterday, he had the entire place in orange and black for Halloween."
"I see." Serena turned to look at her. "You seem to be on awfully good terms with him."
"He's my husband."
"Hey, wait," Professor Sycamore waved his hands, "We're going off-topic here. Are you sure there aren't any free rooms?"
The cashier checked her monitor. "Well, there is one possibility. Are you okay with sharing rooms?"
As the six departed down the hall, she watched them go, a fond little memory of her old school days resurfacing.
"René? Really, now?" A voice called.
The same blond-haired Adonis made his way out of the staff room and hugged her from behind.
"Haruhi, you know I prefer you call me-"
"We're in Kalos. I'll only call you Tamaki when it's just the two of us, okay?"
*knock-knock*
The door opened to reveal a young blonde girl in a Santa hat. "Hi there, Professor Sycamore, Sina, Dexio! Come on in!"
Sina ruffled her hair as she passed by. "You've grown taller, Bonnie! Must be all that adventuring, huh?"
"Yup! Hey, wait," she tugged on Dexio's sleeve and pointed at the new trio, "Who are they?"
Serena bent down to look at Bonnie eye-to-eye. "Hello. I'm Serena, he's Calem and she's Shauna; we're the professor's newest apprentices."
"Newest ones, huh?"
The voice came from the boy who was currently lounging on the sofa next to the door. Dressed in a blue jumpsuit and black shoes, the Santa hat on his head looked incredibly out of place on his blond head.
"I guess you'll be taking on the league as well, then? In that case, it's a pleasure to meet you."
He held out a hand with a calming smile. "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm-"
He was promptly interrupted by Bonnie, who, by all accounts, looked like she was his younger sister, and probably was, too.
"The Gym Leader of Lumiose City, Clemont! You'd better watch out! My brother's strong! As strong as you'd expect a Lumiose City Gym Leader to be, got it?"
Okay, definitely was.
Clemont sighed. "I'm also off-duty at the moment, so, please, I'm just Clemont."
Shauna shook his hand energetically. "Then 'just Clemont' it is!"
Everyone in the room shared a laugh. Just as instantly, a metaphorical light bulb lit up over Bonnie's head.
"Eureka! I'm keeping Miss Shauna!"
She went down on one knee and extended her hand towards the brunette. "Please have my brother, sil-vous-pl-"
This time, she was the one who was interrupted, by means of a mechanical arm lifting her up by the neck of her top.
"Oh come on, Bonnie, I told you to stop that!" Clemont, whose backpack had sprouted the extra, robotic arm, said exasperatedly. "Geez, this is so embarrassing!"
"But she's perfect for you! Miss Shauna, please think about it for me, okay?" Bonnie chirped.
Contrary to her usual bubbly demeanor, Shauna was a bit taken aback by the slightly bubblier girl, who was still smiling at her. "Wait, what's all this about?"
Before Clemont even had a chance to respond, Bonnie continued, "My brother's completely hopeless in love, so it all falls to me to find a reliable girlfriend for him!"
The colour drained out of his face, and Clemont, resigned, hung his head.
And in all of this, Calem had the strangest feeling he'd seen this exact turn of events somewhere else before.
Oberon heard the familiar swish of the guest door appearing. Turning awayfrom the television which had been broadcasting the latest episode of Total Pokémon World Tour (go, Gardevoir, go!), he swivelled his chair around to receive a glomp to the face.
"Evening, niichan!"
Well, it wasn't so much a glomp, since Blair lacked any hands to hug him with, but the impact certainly stuck.
He returned the affectionate hug, before extricating himself. "So, any particular reason you're here to visit me?"
"Nope! Just wanted to spend some quality time with you!"
She looked him over once. "You know, I'm so used to being larger than you, that now you're the bigger than me in size as well as age, I'm actually a bit envious!"
Oberon waved his hands. "I'll only grow; so will you, y'know? Neither of us has fully evolved yet."
Blair somersaulted in midair. "I'll become a Mismagius; mistress of all things that go bump in the night!"
"And as for me…"
Oberon took one of the photoframes down from the bookshelf. Inside the picture was a young Ralts, a Gardevoir, and a Gallade; all smiling at the camera.
Blair hovered over. "That's Aunt Corona and you, aren't they? If I can remember, the Gallade was her brother, right?"
"Yeah. Uncle Orion always liked to dote on me, since Dad needed to be on duty all the time."
A moment passed, before the two sighed sadly. Oberon said a quick prayer, before resuming a slightly forced smile. "So yeah, I've got my path cut out for me. I could go the usual way and become a Gardevoir, or, if I'm lucky, we might be able to find a Dawn Stone."
He raised one arm over his forehead and hung the other back, his voice gaining strength. "And I'll evolve into a Gallade, defender of justice and hope!"
"Nice impression, niichan!" Blair laughed. "Well, I'll also need a Dusk Stone to grow stronger."
Her eyes lit up. "Dawn and Dusk, the exact opposite of each other; isn't that coincidental?"
The smile that crossed his face this time was more genuine, as he lowered his arms. "I suppose so, yes."
"So, you use Electric-type Pokémon, then, Clemont?" Calem asked.
Said gym leader adjusted his glasses in such a way that they gleamed. "Indeed, I do. They're awfully helpful when it comes to helping me out with my inventions."
Shauna clasped her hands together. "You're an inventor as well? That's so cool! Have you invented anything?"
To this answer, he called out, "Clemontic Gear, on!"
Immediately, the backpack by his side flashed to life, whirring and buzzing like an actual machine would. Out from the interior popped out a selection of robotic devices.
"Most of the Clemontic Gear's inventions are for my personal use, actually. For inventions that have actually made the market…"
He reached into one of the side pockets and pulled out a very familiar device.
"This is an AmuSphere. Some of my dad's business partners at Silph Co. produced these, and they contain one of my programs I'd like to call-"
"Super Training?" Serena blurted out, before turning to Clemont, "You're the brains behind that virtual reality program?"
"Aha! So I see the first batch has finally arrived!" He spread his hands out in a fashion not unlike the professor sitting on the sofa opposite him. "That is exactly how fast science can manufacture equipment in today's day and age! The future of science is now!
He paused, before clearing his throat and turning to them. "On the topic of Super Training, would you all be kind enough to help me test out its successor?"
Seeing as there were no objections, except for Sina's grumble that they hadn't gotten to singing any songs yet, he pulled out a machine that resembled the ones used by the Nurse Joys at the Pokémon Center.
"Behold, the Super Trainer 2, Mark Three! Patent pending."
Shauna put up her hand, "What happened to Marks One and Two?"
Clemont and Bonnie shared a slightly guilty look, before she answered, "We really don't want to answer that question."
"Anyways, your Pokémon will be able to experience two new areas of training if they're uploaded to the machine! It'll also install the program into your Pokéball's hard drive, so they'll be able to partake in this training whenever they want; a good step up from having to experience it together with you for the original Super Training!"
He held out his hands. "So, may I borrow your Pokéballs, sil-vous-plait?"
Clemont definitely was trustworthy enough, so they decided testing it out wouldn't hurt, and thus, six Pokéballs, one Premier Ball and one Great Ball found their way onto the sensors of the sensors of the machine.
Oberon, there's going to be something new added to your room.
I know that, sir. The door's forming itself as we're speaking. Should I try going in?
When it's done, yeah. It's a portal to another form of Super Training.
Super Training? Okay, I'll bring Blair along with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
The connection cut.
Sina, meanwhile, had had finally had enough of the scientific mumbo-jumbo, and snapped.
Well, snapped the pop-tab of one of the Cokes that had been delivered to the group while Clemont had been prattling on, but it had a similar effect.
"Now that that's over with, can we please start singing?"
Dexio, who had similarly snapped open another of the cans for his own personal enjoyment, tossed the rest of the drinks to the other people in the room. "A toast first, then, to the generosity of out hosts who have graciously invited us to share their pad."
Clemont set the machine down to a side where it would not be disturbed, before the sound of gas escaping the confines of their cans followed.
They all stood up, before clinking their cans together, with Clemont providing the toast.
"Here's to hoping the box doesn't short-circuit and black-out like the rest of the city!"
Instantly, three heads jerked towards the inventor, who flinched, luckily not spilling any of the Coca-Cola he was nearly about to drink.
"What did you say?" Calem, Serena and Shauna all asked in unison.
He nervously adjusted his glasses with his free hand, and took a sip, before replying, "Other than most of the South Boulevard, and Vernal Avenue, the rest of the city's experiencing a major blackout. In fact, the reason we're here and not home in Prism Tower's because we can't get past the electronic security system. Our dad's working on it, though."
Professor Sycamore, who realized where they were going with this, asked, "Your friend, Trevor. Where does his sister live?"
The three looked at each other and gulped.
"Jaune Plaza." Shauna said first.
"In a nice little house." Calem followed.
"On the northern side of the city." Serena finished.
The Ace Trainer put down her cup with a sad smile. "And, that's the general gist of it."
Trevor sighed as he nursed his café au lait. "So, to put it another way, we're stuck outside without any home to go home to."
"Unfortunately, little bro. On the bright side, at least we're not alone, huh?"
Tierno returned with the dishes from the bistro counter. "That's two servings of Rattatatouille for you guys, and my personal favourite, Escavargot! Dig in, guys!"
The meal passed without much conversation, with Bridget occasionally asking about Trevor's well-being or the new moves Tierno had acquired since she last saw him.
"La da dee, la da doo, la da dum…"
Fontaine let the water run down his body. Contrary to most others of his kind, he actually enjoyed the occasional hot shower, instead of merely lathering, then scrubbing himself with his bubbles.
"La da dee, la da doo, la da dum…"
Testing out the limitations of his new form, he was pleased to know that he was now more strong and flexible, and that he was in top form.
"La da dee, la da doo, la da dum…"
Heh, I wonder if I'll meet any new girls tomorrow, he thought, as he flexed his now-existent biceps, so I can see them swoon at the sight of these bad boys.
"Ooh, la da dee, la da doo, la da lum!"
Hang on; he definitely didn't sing that last part.
It took him all of two seconds to turn around and find his unexpected shower companion, who was enjoying the feeling of hot water on her coat.
"Ooh, la da dee, la da doo, la da lum, bum bum bum!"
"Kat!" he yelped, covering himself with the shower curtain. "What the hell are you doing in here?!"
"Ooh, I have to tell you something, Fonty!" she replied, using her tail as a brush of sorts to clean her back.
"Whatever it is, can't it wait until I get out of the shower?!"
"Ooh, but there's no shower outside of the shower!"
He stared at her blankly, before hanging his head low, defeated. "Fine, what is it that you want?"
"Ooh, we've got a guest door that's appeared out of nowhere!"
She jutted her tail towards the bathroom entrance, before hopping out of the shower and shaking herself dry, spreading the water all over the walls and floor.
"Ooh, come on, don't keep a girl waiting!"
Fontaine took one look at his now-messy bathroom, before angrily mumbling to himself, "I don't care you're a girl; you're cleaning this up for me when this is over."
When they reached his modestly-sized living room, he saw the guest door; well, more of a portal, actually. The light shining from it made it hard to discern if there was anything inside the doorway, although, there probably wasn't anything to begin with.
"Ooh, go on, go in!"
"No. I've had enough tribulations as it is today, so shove off." Fontaine said, as he turned to go back into the bathroom and towel off.
Not quite a smart idea, given who he was facing.
"Ooh, you're making me mad! Fake Out!"
"Huh?" escaped Fontaine's mouth before Katherine jumped up and slapped her paws together, disorienting him, and sending him ever closer to the glowing door.
"Ooh, Tail Whip!" she announced, as her tail made contact with Fontaine's face.
"What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
And with a *bamf*, Fontaine disappeared into the swirling light of the door.
"Ooh, me next, me next!"
"So, yeah, I'll be fine. Tio, Bridget and I will probably come by later, when everything is done. You don't have to save anything for us, so go on and have your fun. See you la-"
As the Holo Clip's transmission cut, Serena sighed in relief. "Same old Trevor. Well, now that that's settled,"
She picked up the tablet which held the song list and scrolled down. "What do you guys want to start off with first?"
Dexio caught Professor Sycamore's aside glance, before passing it on to Clemont, who grinned.
"Miss Serena, please set it to song number 207. The professor, Clemont and I want to re-sing the song we did two years ago."
Reaching the 200s section, she could only stifle her laughter as her saw the title on song number two-hundred-and-seven.
"Siri? Why are you laughing at- oh Arceus," Calem, who now held the tablet and was looking at the other three males with a mixture of disbelief and slight disgust, "Are you sure it's the censored version? We have a kid here!"
"Hey!" Shauna interjected, "I take offence to that!"
"I think he was referring to me, Miss Shauna," Bonnie replied, amused.
"Well, you asked for it!" Calem said, as he tapped down on the choice.
While the three retrieved their microphones, the song title flashed on-screen.
I'm on a Gogoat
Originally Performed By: The Lonely Sevii Island
"Let's get this karaoke session started!" Professor Sycamore shouted, before launching into the intro.
"Aw yeah, get your cameras ready, 'cause it's about to go down!
Everybody in the place, we're hitting the bucking road!
We've got the Lumiose Style!
Yeah, we riding this, let's go!"
The three all joined in for the chorus, which went:
"I'm on a Gogoat! I'm on a Gogoat!
Everybody look at me,
'Cause I'm riding on a Gogoat!
I'm on a Gogoat! I'm on a Gogoat!
Take a good hard look,
At the motherbucking Gogoat!"
"-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
Fontaine took a deep breath, before continuing,
"-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
When the flash died down, Fia found herself standing in front of a kitchentop counter.
And not quite alone, I might add.
"Oh, so it's a gathering, huh?"
Behind two similar countertops to the northwest and northeast of her were Blair and Skye, who appeared to have been in the middle of a conversation.
Well, not anymore.
"Okay, who invited the witch?"
Dodging the Ember sent her way by redirecting it away with a Psywave, Blair was on the verge of retaliating, before the fourth female of the group at large landed on the final countertop, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.
"Ooh, that was fun! Do it again, do it again!"
Kat tilted her head up. "Ooh, you guys are here too! Hello!"
"Um, hello, Kat." Skye replied, before addressing the group, "So, we all took some sort of portal to get here, is that fair to say?"
"I went in with Berry, but I think we got separated."
She fixated Fia with a chilling glare. "Oh, and I saw the kiss. That'll be the last one I'll ever let you make on niichan."
In response, Fia merely smiled. "I think not, Blair! Oberon's not all yours, you know; I have just as about enough chance to attract him as you do!"
Blair could only stare at her, dumbfounded.
"Wow, evolution's definitely changed your assertiveness." Skye chirped.
"Ooh, so what are we here for?"
In response, the middle ground in between the four of them opened up, as the whirring of high-power motor fired up.
"What in the world-"
"Oh-hohohohohohohohohohoho! Oh-hohohohohohohohohohoho!"
A large platform with a counter rose up out of it, the Ninetails in the middle laughing like a noblewoman would.
"Hoho! I see I have new customers!"
She flipped her crest back and smiled. "I am Lotus, and I'll take you through the basics of making PokéPuffs!"
At once, Fia's mouth watered. Oberon had been kind enough to share his chocolate PokéPuffs after his untimely injury that day, which was part of the reason why she had harbored affection for him in the first place.
And by Arceus' good grace, they were delicious.
"PokéPuffs? I suppose they'd be the Kalos equivalent of Poffins, then?"
"Indeed they are! Making it takes around the same amount of skill, and the process is somewhat similar."
Blair's eyes twinkled as her gem glowed. "Psywave!"
As the garnet tendrils grabbed the utensils, Blair shouted out, "You can focus your attention on the other three, Miss Lotus! I got this!"
Lotus smirked, before turning to face Skye, such the three of them could see her countertop clearly. "Then, we shall start! First, select your ingredients!"
As soon as she finished saying so, five trays of Berries, each representing a different flavour, appeared on her countertop.
"Ooh, pink!"
"Hey, save some for me! Kat!"
Fia ignored the two who were tussling over the tray of Pechas, and took the tray of Lum Berries, just as a red hand snagged the Aspears.
"Yeah, never thought I'd be on a Gogoat
We're on the grey Lumiose road
Arceus, look at me, oh woah oh oh…
Never thought I'd see the day,
When a big Gogoat came my way,
Believe me when I say, I…"
The song slowed to a halt, as Clemont flipped his mic.
"I rode a Gogoat! Oh!"
"I'm on a Gogoat! I'm on a Gogoat!
Everybody look at me,
'Cause I'm riding on a Gogoat!
I'm on a Gogoat! I'm on a Gogoat!
Take a good hard look,
At the motherbucking Gogoat!"
And with that finish, a loud round of applause came from all sides.
"Wow, you guys can sing!" Shauna cheered.
"Go, Clemont!" Bonnie said.
Professor Sycamore flipped his hair back. "You know, I'm feeling generous, right after that song! In fact, J'ai une idee!"
Following this, he held out a Pokéball.
"It'd be fantastic if one of you took another Pokémon with you on your journey!"
Wordlessly, Calem gestured to Serena. Similarly, Shauna did the same.
Noticing this, Serena was shocked, to say the least. "Me? Guys, are you sure you'd let me have this chance?"
They both earnestly nodded, with Calem adding on, "We both already have three Pokémon, so it doesn't seem fair that you don't."
Without waiting for her answer, Professor Sycamore opened her palm and placed the Pokéball in it. "I present to you, as a token of my goodwill, Shelby. She's yours to keep, and I duly hope to see her stronger the next time I do!"
"I-I don't know what to say, except thank you, Professor Sycamore!"
He flashed her a smile, before holding out his mic. "Don't mention it! Now, whose turn is it to sing? Calem?"
"-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"
"Dude. You can stop now."
"-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?"
It was only then did Fontaine realize he had stopped falling and was now lying, face-down, on a soft mat floor. He got up, to see Almond staring at him with a slightly bemused expression plastered over his face.
"Fontaine, are my eyes still too bright from the portal, or are you wearing a shower curtain?"
He hurriedly peeled it away from around his body, before throwing it to the side. "Don't even ask. More importantly, where are we?"
To answer his question, a Kirlia dropped from the ceiling, and landed with a graceful splat on the ground.
Okay, maybe that wasn't so much of an answer, and that landing was nowhere graceful.
"Ow, my head…" Oberon got to a standing position, before noticing the other Pokémon in the same room as him. "Almond? Fontaine? You guys had the door too?"
"Yeah." Almond said, "I was gonna tell you, but I figured you also had it."
"Did Blair come by here? I went through the portal with her."
Fontaine shook his head. "Nah, man, only you."
"Strange. Eh, I'll find her later. So, how are you guys adapting to your new forms?" Oberon asked.
Oberon rotated his arms. "Could use a bit more mobility, but hey, it's not like I'm planning on going somewhere."
Before Fontaine replied, a voice piped up, "Oh, so we're all here, now."
A carbon duplicate of Oberon stepped out from the shadows, except for its eyes, which were small, beady dots.
"Meta? When did you get here?"
"Before Almond. I've just been exploring, and the place is pretty simple. Just a plain room, padded walls, a few locked doors and some stands with punching bags."
"And that's exactly what you'll be doing!"
An announcer's voice echoed throughout the room.
"Welcome to Punch-Out, where the aim of the game is to become stronger by punching bags of sand!"
A hole appeared in the ceiling, and a rather large sandbag dropped down, stopping just short of the ground by the rope attached to it.
"The goal is simple; train! When you've successfully trained, the bag will disappear of its own accord, and you'll be done! Ciao!"
Total silence passed, before the four looked at each other, disbelieving looks on their faces.
"Is the guy serious? Can't we just, I don't know, press a Quit button of some sort?"
"Evidently, no. I don't think we can escape from here ourselves, either."
"Well, I can't Alt-F4 this, so what do we do?"
Oberon smacked the rather heavy bag a few times, before sighing.
"Let's get punching, then."
Plates of snacks, now empty, lay by the side of the table, where they were less likely to be disturbed, and thus, less likely to break. The karaoke machine was still on, although it was now set to a playlist comprised mostly of instrumental house music. A solitary bowl rested in the middle of the table, the slips of paper that were inside now perched in the hands of the eight people around said table.
"WHO'S…THE…KING?"
Oh yes; this will be fun.
"I am! I am!"
Bonnie snuck a quick peek at her brother's slip for good measure, before shouting, "Number 2! Confess to number 7 and ask for her hand in marriage!"
Clemont sweatdropped, just as Sina burst out laughing. Dexio, on the other hand, looked amused, as he rolled the slip of paper between his fingers around to reveal a '7'.
"Hey, that's not fair! I want to change my order!"
Clemont ruffled her hair, grinning. "Sorry, Bonnie, but when a queen gives her orders, they can't be changed! So," he turned to Dexio, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy,"
He went down on one knee in a mock parody of an actual proposal, "But here's my number, so marry me maybe?"
In response, Dexio shook his head. "I reject."
"Good, let's continue."
The pieces of paper were folded once more and placed into the bowl, upon which, they were drawn out, again.
"WHO'S…THE…KING?"
"Oh, it's me."
Serena pondered a bit, before announcing, "Number 6, tickle number 4 until they cry!"
A pregnant pause followed, broken by Professor Sycamore getting up to leave and Sina tackling him to the ground.
"Sina! Stop! This! At once! Aah, I'm ticklish!"
In moments, the normally cheerful Augustine Sycamore was now still just as cheerful, except he was lying on the ground, gasping for breath.
"My ribs, I can't breathe…"
Once he had recovered, they resumed the third round of their ridiculous game.
"WHO'S…THE…KING?"
Dexio rolled the piece of paper around to reveal a crown. "That'd be me. So, what should I do?"
He snapped his fingers. "I got it. Number 1! Tell us all a secret you haven't told anyone!"
To this, it was Bonnie's turn to fidget, before she murmured out, "Do, do I have to?"
"Sorry, Bonnie, but…"
They all, including Bonnie, echoed in unison. "The king's orders are absolute!"
"Fine, then, I, uh, I, well, I, kinda… setClemontupadatingprofile."
"You what?!"
Clemont grabbed his little sister by the shoulders, and stared at her. "Why wasn't I told about this?!"
"Because you'd close it, and then you'd never be able to get a girlfriend!"
"Speaking of, I got you a date with another gym leader from Sinnoh!"
Clemont's eyes widened. "You did?!"
"Yeah! Some nice girl named Miledy or Mandy or-"
"Maylene?" Professor Sycamore interjected.
"Yeah! Wait, Professor, how do you know?"
"I studied under Professor Atticus Rowan in Sinnoh for a while. He once mentioned a young girl who took on the role of Gym Leader by the name of Maylene."
"That's her! So, Clemont, will you please go on that date? Pretty please?"
Clemont just sighed and collapsed back into his seat. "Let's just move on…"
The fourth rattle was drawn.
"WHO'S…THE…KING?"
Calem opened his slip to find a crown. Following which, he took two cans and placed them on the table.
"Okay, Numbers 3 & 5! The person who doesn't finish their Coke first will have to run down the length of the hallway and back singing, 'I've got a jar of dirt!'!"
"Taking inspiration from Yamask's Chest, are we now?" Serena commented, as Shauna and Sina grabbed the cans.
One trip down the hallway for Sina later, the papers were retossed.
"WHO'S…THE…KING?"
"Me!" Shauna called, before blurting out what could possibly count as the most despair-inducing order of the night.
"Number 5! Kiss Number 1 on the lips!"
For the record, Shauna was already on a sugar-high. Mix that with bad judgement, the inane probability that Calem would draw a 5 and that Serena would draw a 1, and you have what followed.
For the second time that day, Calem was pretty sure he'd seen it all before, and that it'd go badly for him.
As Serena and Calem shared an uneasy glance, Shauna realized exactly what was going on. Bound by the rules, all she could do was rage, "It's just a game! Just a game!"
There was no backing out now. He leaned in closer, and closer, and…
Grabbed her can and put it to his lips.
Déjà vu.
"Um, it's an indirect kiss? Your lips touched the can, then my lips touched the can, and…"
The silence was deafening, and Calem's heart started ceasing to beat.
"Eh. That will work."
To is immense relief, the situation defused itself as quickly as it started. Unlike the banshee from his dreams, IRL Serena was much more accepting of the status quo.
(A/N: Sorry, KalosShippers. I'm not privy to making it canon just yet.)
And thus, the game went on.
"WHO'S…THE…KING?"
"This is getting us nowhere, fast." Oberon panted.
Fontaine, who, just like him, was losing steam, fast, agreed, "We've been punching for hours; what's wrong with the damned bag?!"
"Actually, by my estimations," Meta-Fontaine stated, "we've only been punching for fifty minutes. I still share the sentiment, though."
"It's a bit repetitive, you know?" Almond sighed, as he slogged the bag again, "I'd rather have something more exciting."
"Jingle-jingle!"
As if on cue, the sound of echoing notes reverberated throughout the otherwise silent room.
"Oh hey, you guys managed to summon me."
A Klefki, the source of the sounds, floated into the room from one of the locked doors.
"Summon you?" Almond asked, still busy punching, "You mean, we've reached a checkpoint of sorts?"
"Well, as an AI, I've been programmed to play upbeat instrumental music when your fight has reached a certain point, so, yes, a checkpoint. How far it is," the Klefki shook its small head, "I do not know."
Meta, who had now morphed into Almond, scratched his head. "What does the music have to do with our training?"
"You'll find that singing along may or may not grant you a boost in your damage output. Regardless, I have orders to play the soundtrack assigned to me, so, whether you want to sing or not will depend entirely on you."
As the Klefki moved off, presumably to start whatever song it had been programmed, Oberon admitted, "Whoever programmed this is either very sadistic, or very, very smart."
"Damn straight."
The Opal 4 present: 'One More Fight' (a parody of 'One More Night' by Maroon 5)
"Ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh…"
"Ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh…"
"You and I go hard; keep on punching bags like we're in a fight."
"You and I get rough; hone our minds and our bodies tonight."
"Do we have to sing? 'Cause my throat is still feeling rather sore."
"Well we might as well; I don't see why we can't, between us four."
"But come on, there I hit again, there I hit again, the bag is still full-oo-ooh,"
"Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, my arms will just do-oo-ooh,"
"We're just not doing anything, doing anything, to the damn bag-ooh-ooh,"
"And now I'm feeling tired, feeling tired, can't get my punches through-ooh."
"So I'll cross my heart, should I hope to try,
To break this punching bag in just one more fight.
We've already punched it a million times…
But we still have the strength for one more fight…"
"Try to find a tear, but this cloth must be woven out of steel."
"Try to punch some more, but my hands are numb, I can't even feel."
"I'd be giving up, but we have to punch out another bag."
"By the time we're done, I'd be so old that I'd become a hag."
"But come on, there I hit again, there I hit again, the bag is still full-oo-ooh,"
"Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, my arms will just do-oo-ooh,"
"We're just not doing anything, doing anything, to the damn bag-ooh-ooh,"
"And now I'm feeling tired, feeling tired, can't get my punches through-ooh."
"So I'll cross my heart, should I hope to try,
To break this punching bag in just one more fight.
We've already punched it a million times…
But we still have the strength for one more fight…"
"Ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh…"
"Yeah, come on, give me one more fight…" Fontaine echoed.
"Ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh…"
"Yeah, come on, give me one more fight…" Almond echoed.
"Ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh…"
"Yeah, come on, give me one more fight…" Meta echoed.
"Ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh, ooh…"
"Wait a sec, there I hit again, there I hit again, and something feels loose,"
"Yeah, something's definitely changed, definitely changed, it's not just you."
"Oh look; sand's falling out, sand's falling out, I think we got through!"
"Yeah, yeah…"
"C'mon, let's go!" Oberon cheered.
"So I crossed my heart, and we hoped to try,
To break this punching bag in just one more fight.
We're gonna punch it a few more times…
'Cause we still have the strength for one more fight!"
"Come on, give me one more fight!" Oberon echoed for the final time.
"So I'll cross my heart, should I hope to try,
To break this punching bag in just one more fight.
We're gonna punch it a few more times…
And we're gonna win this in one more fight!"
And with that final strike from all four directions, the sandbag exploded into millions of tiny sand particles. Which passed through them harmlessly, as if they were holographic, which they definitely were.
"Congratulations, guys, you have cleared a training routine!"
Panting and lying on the ground, Oberon looked up and asked, "So, what now?"
"Well, since you're tired, I suppose you could-"
The Klefki froze mid-sentence, before flickering at a rapid rate.
"There seems to be a problem with the main control system!"
If the Klefki could look scared, it did.
"Something is overheating!"
Fia carefully spread the green filling on two similar Lum Berry-flavoured puffs, pressed them together and broke a small part off to test for taste.
"Mmm… Bitter. Just the way I like it."
Eating it, and setting the rest of the similarly-made, freshly-baked PokéPuffs aside for later, she looked up to see how her friends were doing.
Skye was currently testing out one of her own PokéPuffs, although she reacted rather… badly to it.
"*hack* Okay, way *cough* too dry for my liking *hack*, maybe I need a *cough* different berry."
Kat, on the other hand (or was that paw?) had given up actually making the PokéPuffs, and had started feasting on the provided Berries.
Which, since they were ever-replenishing, made for a very happy kitty.
"*om* Ooh, *nom* more, *om*, more *nom*, more! *omnom*"
And thus, made Lotus, a much frazzled host.
"Hey, put those Berries down, you're supposed to cook with them, not eat them!"
She turned her eyes to the final countertop.
And was astonished to find a heaping mountain of PokéPuffs set by the oven, which had just coughed up another fresh batch.
Blair herself wasn't even focused on cooking, instead perched over one of the books she had probably borrowed from her brother.
When Fia evolved, she also inherited one thing from her Trainer: Serena's haughtiness when it came to contests.
"Blair?"
She responded with a curt, "What?"
"I would challenge you to a duel. To see which of us is the better baker!"
This time, Blair stopped everything she was doing at once and just stared at Fia. "Wait, are you sure about this? I've been making these for years, and you've only just begun!"
"Are you scared? I thought ghost Pokémon were meant to cause fear, not feel it!" she taunted.
"Okay, you said it this time! Bring it on, witchy!"
"I'm a sorceress, you're the witch!"
And with that retort, the kitchen battle was waged.
Berries were mashed, and added to the mix, as whisks beat the ingredients into fine dough. Small pieces of said dough were plucked out, and molded into biscuit pieces, which were placed on the greased tray.
"Why are you doing this? You know that I'm better than you, and yet you still challenge me?"
"You're not so high and mighty yourself, missy!"
For every action Blair did, Fia did twice as fast to make up for her lack of hands. Sure, she was a bit rough around the edges, but, she was faster.
"Hey! Just because you're faster, doesn't mean you're better!"
"We'll see about that, won't we?
Skye watched them argue, occasionally pointing out things like, "Girls, you're spilling batter!", or, "That one's too small!"
It all came to a halt when they both set their biscuit sides into the oven, and Blair floated over to confront Fia, face-to-face.
"Want to settle this?" Blair yelled, her tendrils stretching out menacingly.
Fia withdrew her broom, setting it alight, before waving it in front of her face. "Bring it on!"
Grappling for control of the broom, Fia launched a few Embers, with Blair throwing them right back at her. Dodging and weaving, the two continued their spat, neither willing to give up their pride.
"Ooh, burning oven!"
It was then the two girls stopped their squabble and turned to Blair's stove, which, as Kat had put it, was shrouded in smoke.
"Oh crap, did I set the temperature too high?!"
Fia waved her broom at rapidly-growing inferno, before remembering that she created fire, not extinguished it.
Where's Fonty when you need him?
Just as everything seemed on the highway to hell…
"Am I late? I had to spend some time analysing the door to ensure that it would lead here and was not a booby trap."
A Squirtle popped up, before looking at Fia. "Oh, I remember you! You're the Braixen who sent Sarge back to his barracks."
"That must make you Shelby, right? Or was that Sadie?"
"You were correct the first guess."
"Ooh, put out the burning already!"
Shelby turned towards the oven, which was issuing even more amounts of black smoke, before shouting, "Water Gun!"
In seconds, the oven had been doused.
"I have had a modicum of thought that something like this would have happened. I suppose I was right, then." She turned to face the two of them. "You should not leave your equipment unattended, like any common ignoramus."
Blair looked at Fia, who returned the look, before holding out one of her Psywave hands. "Truce? Let's stop fighting, for both our sakes."
"Truce. We've let this discomfort between us go on far too long. Let's just be friends."
She considered something, before adding, "This doesn't apply to Oberon, though; he's still fair game for me."
"Of course! I won't let you take him away from me, either, just so you know!"
The two sorta-shook hands, before Blair drifted back to her own counter, whereas Shelby just stood around and observed.
Skye, who had finally baked a perfect batch of Pecha Berry-flavoured biscuits, chirped happily.
"Well, at least nothing went overboard, huh?"
Lotus froze in place for a while, before suddenly looking fearful.
"Oh, curses, something seems to be wrong with the main control system!"
The Ninetails leapt back into her podium and pulled down the lever on its side, dropping the platform back into the ground, with her final words echoing behind her.
"Duck and cover! It's gonna exploooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooode!"
Beep.
At first, no one really heard the silent little Beep.
Beep beep.
Nor that.
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
It was only then, that Serena noticed the foreign sound, tracing it to the machine in the corner.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
"Clemont, is your machine supposed to be beeping that loudly?" Serena asked, uneasy.
Clemont turned to his creation, before freaking out. "Oh no! It's just like the Mark One and Two all over again!"
"What?!" The rest of them said, before the machine promptly blew up.
"And that's the story of how we're no longer invited to the Lumiose Box."
Tierno laughed heartily. "Well, at least it wasn't all that bad, right?"
For the fifth straight time that night, Calem straightened down the back of his hair, which, he predicted, would flop up again in the near future.
"I guess I should at least be thankful my hair isn't of much importance to me as the girls. Speaking of them, are they still in the showers?"
Trevor looked up from the new Pokédex entries. "Yeah, and I think they will be, for a long time."
As to prove his point, Shauna's voice called from around the corner, "Hey, guys! We've run out of shampoo! Can one of you bring us another bottle?"
Professor Sycamore, who had his face in a novel and his hair in curlers (it didn't come naturally either, y'know?) said, "There should be some in the storeroom left of the practice field. Can one of you get it?"
"Oui, Professor." Calem got up.
After grabbing the bottle, he made his way back through the living room where the other three sat, turning towards the hallway that led to their guest room accommodations.
Knocking on the door, he averted his eyes. "Hey, it's me, and I've got your shampoo."
A brief moment passed, before the sound of sloshing water was heard, followed by Serena calling out, "Coming, give me a moment. I trust that you're not one to peek?"
"Cut me some slack here, who do you think I am?"
"Point taken."
The sliding door opened ever so slightly, upon which Serena's hand poked out to grab the elusive bottle.
"Woah, Siri, watch where you're stepping, that's the soa-"
*slip*
Followed by the rest of Serena.
The first thing that returned to Calem's mind was the unusually soft and pleasurable sensation that warmed the lower half of his body.
The second thing was the memory of seeing his neighbour fall over on him, and the fact that she had stepped out of the bathroom.
Putting two and two together, he elected to keep his eyes shut when he heard Serena scream on top of him.
Shame; he never saw her fist connect with his jaw, or the massive nosebleed he subsequently had.
"Well, that was a blast."
"You said it, niichan."
Scrubbing in the body wash into Blair's, well, body, Oberon checked the temperature of the water, before spraying it onto her.
"Coldcoldcold! Berry-nii, you're evil!"
"Wait, using Psywave's cheati- aah! Alright, it's cold!"
"I'm perfectly *munch* content *bite* just like this *munch*…"
Almond snacked down on the Iapapa Berries as he watched the stars overlooking his clearing pass by.
"But, just *omnom* like Oberon said, it's never *swallow* that easy. Oh well."
"I'm just going to have to keep trying."
Fiametta pulled out her branch, consequently lighting it on fire. Her orange eyes gleamed in its blaze.
"Sister or not, I'm going to show her who's better suited for Oberon. Just you wait."
"Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine. You guys are on my mind. You asked me what I wanted to be, and now, I think the answer's plain to see."
Skye wrote down the last few lines on the letter she'd ask the carrier Fletchling at the Pokémon Center to deliver back.
"Well, I want to be famous. And this is how I'll do it. Love, Lexie. P.S. I go by Skye, now, so, I might sign off as such. Just a heads-up."
"Travelling with her is bound to be propitious, isn't it?"
Shelby set the conch shell recorder down, before climbing into her bed.
"Well, it's time to build new bonds. I am a staunch believer in adventuring out of my comfort zone."
"Ooh, why do I have to do this? It's so boring!"
"You dirtied my bathroom; it's only fair you clean it up."
Kat used her tail to wipe off the beads of sweat on her face, before turning to Fontaine with her best impression of her master's puppy-dog (or was that kitty-cat) pout.
"Ooh, come on, just today, please?"
"Okay, stop that face, fine, here, let me help."
"Which form should I take?"
Meta morphed from a Kirlia, to a Skitty, to a Corphish, before settling back into his original gelatinous form.
"I suppose I'll stay like this. Frankly, I prefer my own sense of identity, after all."
"Aah…"
Eugene sighed as he entered the hot spring once more.
"This has gotta be the good life…"
"Well, that's it, guys, I'm going to bed."
Sparks shot down a few more Skeletons before waving goodbye to his friends on PokéCraft.
"Peace off. Boop!"
A/N:
sil-vous-plait – if you please (Then again, if you've watched the anime, then you know exactly what it means, and the implications behind it) (In other related news, find Clemont a girlfriend now! Call 1-800- "AIPOM ARM!" Wait, wha- *gets hoisted into air* Oi! Let me down!)
café au lait – coffee with milk
Rattatatouille, Escavargot – ratatouille and escargot, respectively.
J'ai une idée – I have an idea
Oui – yes, sure
Pokédex count:
Central Kalos – 43/150 seen.
(Coastal Kalos – 1/153 seen. – Rhyhorn – Unregistered)
(Mountain Kalos – 1/151 seen. – Ditto – Unregistered)
(National – Koffing, Misdreavus – Unregistered)
After completing the first tenth of their Pokémon journey, the eleven members of the troupe are as follows:
Calem's Team
Name: Oberon
Species: Kirlia
Approximate level: 20
Ability: Telepathy
Moves learnt: Growl, Confusion, Double Team, Teleport, Lucky Chant, Return
Name: Almond
Species: Quilladin
Approximate level: 16
Ability: Overgrow
Moves learnt: Tackle, Growl, Vine Whip, Rollout, Bite, Leech Seed, Return
Name: Blair
Species: Misdreavus
Approximate level: 14
Abiity: Levitate
Moves learnt: Growl, Psywave, Spite, Astonish, Confuse Ray, Return
Serena's Team
Name: Fiametta 'Fia'
Species: Braixen
Approximate level: 16
Ability: Blaze
Moves learnt: Scratch, Tail Whip, Ember, Howl, Flame Charge, Return
Name: Skye
Species: Fletchling
Approximate level: 14
Ability: Gale Wings
Moves learnt: Tackle, Growl, Quick Attack, Peck, Agility, Return
Name: Shelby
Species: Squirtle
Approximate level: 13
Ability: Torrent
Moves learnt: Tackle, Tail Whip, Water Gun, Withdraw, Bubble
Shauna's Team
Name: Fontaine
Species: Frogadier
Approximate level: 16
Ability: Torrent
Moves learnt: Pound, Growl, Bubble, Quick Attack, Lick, Water Pulse, Return
Name: Meta
Species: Ditto
Approximate level: 13
Ability: Imposter
Moves learnt: Transform (that's the only thing a Ditto can learn, anyways)
Name: Katherine
Species: Skitty
Approximate level: 11
Ability: Cute Charm
Moves learnt: Fake Out, Growl, Tail Whip, Tackle, Foresight, Attract, Sing
Trevor's Team
Name: Sparks
Species: Pikachu
Approximate level: 16
Ability: Static
Moves learnt: Growl, Thundershock, Tail Whip, Thunder Wave, Quick Attack, Return
Tierno's Team
Name: Eugene
Species: Corphish
Approximate level: 16
Ability: Hyper Cutter
Moves learnt: Bubble, Harden, Vice Grip, Leer, Return
*swish*
"Oi. Oberon."
The Kirlia turned over in his sleep.
"Oberon. Wake up."
He turned over again, coming to rest at his original position.
"OBERON!"
"Kyaah!"
He sat up with a gasp, before looking at the being that was hovering in the middle of the room.
"Altair? Oh, great. What does he want from me now?"
The Jirachi shrugged, before handing over a note. "He wants you to teleport all five of them to this location as soon as you get out of your Pokéball tomorrow morning."
Oberon looked at the note once over, before turning back to Altair, eyebrow raised. "And why?"
"Beats me. Something about a show, or something along that line; I don't know for sure. " was the reply.
He folded his arms. "What's in it for me?"
Altair pulled out a phone from under his headdress and checked his notes. "A week's supply of Gold Gummis."
Oberon pondered it a while, before nodding. "Consider it done. Now, let me get back to sleep."
Altair slipped the phone back in, before snapping his fingers and disappearing in a short flash of light.
As he pulled the covers over his body, an easier task now that he had 'fingers', he muttered under his breath.
"What are you up to now, Sandy?"
A/N: What am I up to, indeed?
Well, in no small part due to the busy amount of work I'll have on the first weeks of school, I originally needed some time off writing the Kalos Chronicles. Then, Trixie suggested we give you readers something else to do rather than just sit around, read and review.
Thus marks the first Q&A session, which I turn my material over to you, loyal readers.
Send in your questions via PM or in your review, and be sure to specify who it is addressed to. You may ask any of the humans or the Pokémon from the previous chapter, including Professor Sycamore, his starters, Sina, and Dexio. However, please keep your questions PG-13, and, of course, no spoilers. They can only answer what they know so far, after all, so asking them about their reaction to Lysandre being Team Flare's boss will end up with your question's cue card being ripped in half.
That is all, for now. I have a podium and a few sofas to set up, so, Altair, I wish for IKEA to have a special discount on all sofas in the next 24 hours.
I also wish for three more wishes, and more time to watch Ouran Highschool Host Club. Well, that's all from me, so allons-y! Happy New Year, and here's to another year of writing!
(Side note: I miss Matt Smith. A lot.)