(See the first chapter for disclaimer, notes, spoiler, etc.)

Chapter 4: "Not All"

December 21, 2014

Caitlin walked down the hall, clutching the tray tight in her hands. A happy tune rose in throat and she suddenly remembered the way her father sang along with it when they drove to Lake Tahoe for Christmas one year. It's a marshmallow world in the winter... Was it Christmas 1987? She wondered if her mother would remember. Probably, she decided. Her mother remembered everything. Best of all, she could just ask her. She didn't need to count the hours for the time change to call her at a semi-decent hour. She grinned and balanced the tray on her left hand as she softly knocked on the door of the guest bedroom. No response. She turned the knob and slowly pushed open the door. "Mom?" she whispered loudly into the dark bedroom. As her eyes adjusted, she saw through the shadows as her mother shifted in the bed and heard her murmur something. "I brought coffee."

"That's my girl," she said as her yawn segued into a groan. She rested the tray on the bed and turned for the windows. "Open them gently, Caity."

She nodded and slowly pulled open the curtains. Bright sunlight spilled into the room, catching on the pale green walls. Behind her, she heard the bed creak as her mother was no doubt pushing herself up. She glanced over her shoulder and saw her mother sitting up against the headboard, shoving a pillow behind her back. Her short auburn hair glowed in the sunlight and she smiled as her heart skipped a beat. "I really like what you did to your hair, Mom."

Mom shrugged tiredly as she ran her fingers through it. "The stylist talked me into lowlights for the winter," she said as she patted the mattress. She took the invitation and climbed into the bed next to her. Her mother smiled and reached for her hand, squeezing it affectionately. Like the child she once was, she leaned against her mother and rested her head on her shoulder. A moment later, she felt her mother's lips on her forehead and she sighed, content. "Colin?" she asked.

She looked up, meeting her mother's eyes. "He went to play golf with Trey and Daddy." If her mother was surprised by that turn of events, she didn't show it. She simply nodded and reached for the tray. "Here," Caitlin said, sitting up. "I'll pour."

"Thank you, darling."

The steaming coffee bubbled into the mugs and she felt her mother's eyes on her as she added the milk and sugar. "Mom," she began, grinning, "I am so happy you're here. You and Colin. I don't think I've been this excited for Christmas since I was a child." She passed her the mug and she watched her mother smile in response. "I've wanted to host Christmas for years."

Her mother looked up, surprise wrinkling across her pale face. "Years? Darling, why didn't you ever say anything?"

She stirred her coffee, the metal spoon clinking against the ceramic mug. "I guess because we fell into our holiday traditions. A year with you, a year with Daddy. Of course, Cole always wants to make sure we spend time with Elaine too." It seemed silly to mention the annual disagreements about where to go for Christmas. But, Elaine was just a car ride away. Her mother was not. "I'm excited to cook for everyone."

"Nana would've loved to hear you say that."

Clutching her own mug, she snuggled back next to her mother. "We're doing it all: the roast, potatoes, chestnuts, sauce. Everything I remember her cooking for us." She glanced at her mother as she said, "It's going to be a family Christmas this year, like the old days." Something flickered in her mother's eyes and she reached for her hand. "Was that wrong to say?"

She shook her head and squeezed her hand. "No. Why do you ask?"

Caitlin watched her mother closely. Fine lines crinkled at her eyes, clearly apparent in the unforgiving morning light. It was at these quiet moments that she remembered just how old her mother was. She's guilty of thinking of her parents as they people they were twenty or thirty years ago, when she was a child. No one ever told her what it was like to see your parents age before your eyes. "The old days weren't always easy on you," she said softly.

With a tight smile, Mom sipped her coffee. "They weren't always easy on any of us."

"Mom-"

"Darling, this is going to be a wonderful Christmas." She nodded, listening as her mother continued, "We're all together now and that's what matters. In fact, I've been looking forward to this holiday for weeks."

"Daddy has too." The simple observation rested between them and she bit the corner of her lip. Things changed between her parents years ago. They were friends. They were extremely close. In fact, she was quite positive they still loved each other, despite their respective marriages. "How has Colin been?"

"He's fine." She watched her mother lean back against the pillows and sigh. "He knows how important this is to me."

She nodded, quietly sipping her coffee. Her mother was confident Colin was fine. Her father was confident Alex was fine. So, perhaps everything was fine. Still, she couldn't ignore the bubbly feeling in her stomach as she watched her parents at dinner last night. The way Daddy's eyes softened when he looked at her. The way Mom's dazzling smile lit up the table when she directed it at him. The way their hug as they said their good nights lingered for several moments before they untangled themselves. She sighed. Cole thought she was reading too much into it. After all, dinner went smoothly. Her parents and their spouses were amicable, chatting pleasantly throughout the entire meal around her dining room table. "It'll be great when Sean gets here," she mused, changing the subject.

Her mother nodded eagerly, beaming. "It really will." She squeezed her hand, suddenly looking as excited as a child. "How it should be."

"How what should be?" Caitlin and her mother glanced up as Colin strolled into the bedroom. "Or am I interrupting?"

"Of course not," Caitlin said. "We were talking about Sean, Tessa, and Thomas getting here from Philadelphia." She met her mother's eyes and smiled warmly. She was right: the entire family was together now. Her parents were at peace with each other. That's all that mattered.

"So, who won?" Mom asked.

Colin chuckled and she looked up as he announced, "Trey. By five strokes."

She smiled, knowing how seriously her son took his golf game. "He must be happy with the win."

"Yes. He's quite good," Colin said, smiling at her before he turned to her mother. "I'm just going to change."

She watched her mother nod and slump back against the pillows as he disappeared into the adjoining bathroom. "Do you want to go down and get something to eat?" she asked.

She shook her head and smiled, pulling her back against her. "Let's just sit here for a moment," she said softly, smiling over the rim of her mug. "It's not every day that we get to take our coffee together."

Caitlin smiled and curled up next to her, cupping her mug.

This was enough.

Helena lowered her sunglasses, watching as Trey shuffled out onto the patio. "You didn't get your hair cut yet," she called out. He glanced over and shook his head, mumbling something beneath his breath. "I heard that."

"Doubt it," he muttered as he belly-flopped onto the lounge chair next to her.

She rolled her eyes and pushed her glasses back up. "It looks gross," she sighed, glancing at him through the tinted lenses. "I don't want to be in any photos with you until you look normal again."

"Geez, you're exhausting," he sighed, turning his face to look at her. "I've got an appointment for tomorrow morning."

"About bloody time."

Her eyes narrowed as he snorted and pushed himself up on his elbows. "You're going to make your future husband start praying for hearing loss now if you keep up that nagging."

"What," she asked, leaning forward to kick him in the shin, "is your issue? You've been a crab since I got here!"

"Since yesterday, you mean?" he deadpanned.

"Trey!" She scrambled up into a sitting position and ripped her sunglasses off. "You're being a complete idiot!" She crossed her arms and tapped her foot expectantly. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you going to tell me what's really going on?"

He sat up and faced her. "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes and gathered her brown hair up into a thick bun. "I heard Nana and Granddad talking about you on the plane. They thought I was asleep."

"Really? What did they say?"

She smirked, hearing the curiosity in his question. "Well. Nana's worried about you. She said you didn't sound like yourself anymore. Granddad was trying to...I don't know – reassure her you were ok. But, I think she's right and that you're clearly mental!"

He shook his head and leaned forward on his knees. "I'm not mental. At least, I don't think I am."

"Granddad said you were just super focused on school and preparing for university."

"What did Nan say?"

She folded her legs beneath her and poked him in the chest. "There. Right there. Since when do you call Nana 'Nan'?" She sighed, watching as something wrinkled across his face. "What's wrong with you?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing," he whispered back. "So, what did she say?"

She shrugged. "She sighed, like she didn't quite believe him." But, she knew it wasn't nothing. He was lying. It was as plain as the nose on his face. She's known him her whole life. She knows him. "Whatever it is," she said softly after several moments of silence, "you can tell me. I won't tell anyone. Ever."

"I've heard that before," he scoffed and she couldn't help but smile as he imitated her accent. "'Don't worry, Trey. I won't tell Granddad you broke the vase.' Yeah. Right."

"But, I didn't tell him!" she exclaimed with a giggle. "He...figured it out."

"Yeah. You pointing your finger at me behind your hand had nothing to do with it."

"It didn't," she sniffed, turning away from him. She leaned back against the lounge chair and a moment later, he did the same on his. She sighed and turned her face up to the sun, feeling the warm rays beating down on her. Trey could deny it all he wanted, but something was wrong. He wasn't himself. She thought back to dinner last night. She sat across from him, watching the way his eyes darted between Nana and his grandfather. The way he didn't really speak. The way he pushed his food around his plate. "Dinner was nice last night," she began.

She looked at him, watching as he nodded. "Yup. Mom's pork chops are the best."

Silence. She frowned, trying another plan of attack. "I didn't know your grandfather's wife had traveled to all those places."

He nodded again, his eyes closed as he stretched out. "Yeah. Alex always brought the coolest souvenirs back for me. Not the cheap stuff you find in the tourist traps. But, she's pretty much retired now."

She nodded, going in deep. "She and Nana got on well."

He opened his eyes and turned to her. Ah-ha. "What do you mean?" he asked. Slowly. Carefully.

She shrugged innocently. "I mean, they all did. Nana and Granddad. Your grandfather and his wife."

"I guess." His eyes burned into hers and, despite the warm temperature, she shivered. His blue irises were dull and lifeless. "It's not that big of a deal. They've seen each other before. Remember Uncle Sean's wedding?"

"I suppose. You're probably right." She reached for the water bottle and took a long sip, her brain throbbing. Maybe he was right. Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. But... "It's just that...you were watching them an awful lot."

He sighed and sat up. "Look, Helena, if I tell you this, will you get off my back?" She nodded and adjusted the straps of her bikini as she sat up. "It's a big deal for Nan and Pop to both be here this Christmas. It's the first time in a really long time that Mom and Uncle Sean haven't needed to spend it with one of them and not the other."

"And, you. Right?" she asked quietly. He nodded quickly, but not before she saw the flash of pain in his eyes. "It's the first time for you too."

"Yeah." He exhaled deeply and shrugged bashfully. "So, that's it."

She sat quietly, watching him. That may be it, but it wasn't all. But, she knew her cousin far too well. He was stubborn. If that's all he wanted to admit to, then that was all she would know. "Ok," she said. "I understand." He narrowed his eyes, like he didn't believe her. She sighed and changed the subject. "So, when are you going to introduce me to your mates on the lacrosse team?"

He grinned and she knew things were well between them again. "There's a party tonight, if you want to go. Got an ugly Christmas sweater?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Umm, no. Obviously."

"You're in luck. I picked up two from the thrift store at church." She grimaced and mimicked vomit noises. "Don't worry, The Honorable Helena Sutherland," he laughed. "Mom washed them."

"Fine. I'll wear it. But, don't introduce me to anyone like that...otherwise, I'll have to call you Armando."

He groaned and shook his head. "Don't. It's so lame."

She giggled and tossed a tortilla chip at him. "It's mysterious, like the Three Musketeers. Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and...Armando."

"Whatever," he chuckled, munching on the chip as he reached for the bowl of salsa.

A/N: The song Caitlin remembered is Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin's version of "Marshmallow World" (music by Peter DeRose, lyrics by Carl Sigman).