I watch as Vic and Cady leave the bar. I didn't feel particularly great when Vic showed up at the bar, but now that she's gone I feel even worse.

I turn back to Henry. "Am I punishing her?"

His eyes soften. "Walt. Think of it like this." He leans forward and rests his elbows on the bar top. "How did you feel after Martha passed?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question."

I sigh. "I was sad. I didn't want to talk about it."

"Right, and that was okay. As much as we tried to help you, you could not help how you felt."

I'm not really following where he's taking this. "Okayyy…"

"The point is, Walt, that you cannot help how you feel about Vic."

"I can… I just… I just need more time."

"Walt. You can have all the time you want, but those feelings will still be there until you deal with them."

I take a drink of my beer. It's almost empty.

"You know Martha would want you to be happy, Walt."

"I know. Believe it or not, this has nothing to do with Martha."

"Then why are you torturing yourself, and her? What is so bad about having feelings for Vic?"

I glare up at him. "I think you know why."

"You think she is too young for you." He says as he nods his head.

"She is too young for me."

"Age is just a number, Walt."

I grunt. "Of course you would say that. I'm well aware you have no problem dating younger women."

He laughs. "That is because I do not see age, I see beauty."

I chuckle. "Yeah, right."

"Just like you cannot help that you have feelings for her, she cannot help her age. I think that if you let yourself go there, you will find that eventually you will forget that age was ever even an issue."

I don't say anything, I just nod. Maybe he's right.

He sees that my beer is empty and reaches to grab me a new one.

"Actually, I better switch to water if I'm going to be able to drive over there and apologize."

He smiles. "I think that is a good decision."

I let out a soft sigh and nod. I hate that he's right about everything. I know Martha would want me to be happy. I just never thought I'd actually find someone else that I felt that way about. I thought I already had the love of my life.

Then Vic came along.

I really do feel terrible about the way I treated her. I eat the food Henry brought out for me and start drinking water. Almost two hours pass before Henry agrees that I'm alright to drive.

I tap lightly on Vic door, but she takes a bit to answer, which makes me nervous. I feel terrible for the way I talked to her earlier. I stare down at my feet and try to prepare myself for the fact that she might not be too forgiving of me. I wouldn't blame her if she wasn't.

She opens the door, and I wait a few moments before I look up.

"Can I come inside?"

She turns her head back inside, "No." Instead, she pushes the screen door open and steps outside onto the porch. "Cady's sleeping on the couch." She lets out a shiver, and crosses her arms over her chest.

I wonder what they've been talking about for the last couple of hours. "Did you tell her about us?"

She shrugs. "I answered any questions she had."

I haven't talked to Cady about all of this yet. I wonder how she feels about the whole thing.

"Is there an us?"

"I think I want there to be."

"I need you to know before we go any further." Her voice is a little harsh, which I definitely deserve.

I nod my head. We stand there in silence for a moment and she takes a few steps forward and leans down on the railing, facing the street. I follow a minute later and lean up against the pole next to her.

"Vic, I'm sorry." There's so many things that I want to say.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." Her tone is softer than it was before.

"Yes I do, I-" I start but she cuts me off.

"No, you don't. You have every right to deal with all of this however you can. You can't help how you feel."

She should be pissed at me. Why isn't she pissed at me?

"I shouldn't have brought all of that up in front of Cady and Henry, it should have been a private conversation."

She nods her head. "Yeah, that was a little harsh. But I'm a big girl, Walt, I can handle that."

"I shouldn't have been drinking." I know it's a cop out to blame my actions on the alcohol, but I don't think I would have talked to her the way I did if I wouldn't have been drinking.

She shrugs her shoulders and looks up at me with her golden eyes. "Sometimes it's nice to numb everything for a bit and not think about it all. I'm sure you just weren't expecting me to show up."

I wonder if that's what she was doing at Henry's party. Was she trying to numb everything then? Was she trying to numb her feelings for me?

"You know, I uhh, I didn't mean what I said about stepping in with that guy… I'm glad I took you home that night."

She's quiet for a moment, like she's replaying the events of that night in her head. She eventually nods. "Me too."

"I'm sorry I've been stalling." I mutter.

She drops her head and looks away from me. "It's okay. I can't force you to feel the same way I do."

Is that what she thinks? That I don't have the same feelings she does? I really need to work on explaining my feelings better. "It's not that."

It's not that at all. I thought I already had the love of my life. I thought these feelings would go away and wouldn't evolve into anything greater than companionship and a little physical attraction. I was wrong. The connection that I feel with Vic gets stronger every day.

"I wasn't ready for you, Vic. I never expected to feel like this again after losing Martha." I reach down and tough the side of her face, turning it towards me.

"You forced me to open my eyes when you kissed me that day. Ever since then, it's like I'm walking around in a fog and I don't know how to get out."

"And I've just been pushing you around in the fog." She frowns back at me.

"I just need to be able to see straight, and then you can go back to pushing me around."

That gets a little smile out of her.

We fall into another silence. The wind picks up a little and I see her shudder. I open my arms and invite her to step closer. "Come here."

She looks up at me longingly. Like she wants to fall into my arms but she's afraid to let herself.

"It's okay," I assure her.

She looks back at me for another moment before giving in. She rests her forehead on my chest as I wrap my arms around her, rubbing her back to try to warm her up.

I close my eyes. I wish time could stop right here for a little bit.

Her voice interrupts my dream state a couple minutes later. "I'm sorry that I've been pushing you."

"I'm sorry that I've been pushing back."

"Two stubborn idiots, what a pair we are." She shudders again, and brings her arms up into her chest so they're between us.

She pulls away a minute later. "I should probably get back inside."

I nod, even though I would rather stay out here all night. She deserves some space from me after the way I treated her earlier. "Okay."

"I'm off tomorrow, remember."

I nod, even though I didn't remember.

"You can call me if you need anything, but I think it'd do you some good not to see me for a day. It might help you think clearer." She drops her gaze from mine.

"I expect I'll think about you whether you're around or not," I reply honestly. Though I know what she means. It getting increasingly harder to concentrate when she's around.

She gives me a sad smile. "Goodnight, Walt."

"Goodnight, Vic." I keep my eyes on hers until she shuts the door.