AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Some graphics of self harm mentioned in this chapter. Story is becoming intense now.

Casey is pushed to his limit, but how bad will it be?

Enjoy :)

Chapter 10 – Release

CASEY'S POV

I saw my scissors lying on the floor, I don't know what came over me, but it felt like my mind knew what I had to do. I picked them up and stared at the blade resting in my hand. I felt some calming relief as I wrapped my hand around the blade tightly. Thoughts about who I was rushed through my mind only to be wiped away as I became more fixated on the blade of the scissors.

Before I realised what I was doing I opened the scissors up and scraped the blade across the inside of my left arm. I felt a wave of pain nick at my skin as I saw a red line across my arm. I ran my finger across the scrape and for an instant second forgot everything that was going on around me. It was like an amazing cure.

I closed the scissors and put them down, still in shock at what I had done. I suddenly felt so different and couldn't describe what was going on in my mind. I lay down on my bed analysing what had just happened.

A few hours passed when I heard a knock on my door, "Hey Case, you okay in there? Can I come in?"

I got up off my bed and opened the door to Brax. "You okay?" He asked.

I thought back to my incident and could still feel the slight pain in my arm and gave him a smile. "Yeah Brax I'm fine."

Brax stared at me. I think he was trying to gauge whether I was telling the truth, but I honestly did feel fine. Like a whole weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Well okay if you're sure. There's some dinner out here if you want some. Kyle brought home some pizza from the restaurant."

"Nah I'm okay, I think I'm just gonna go to bed. I'm kind of tired after being in hospital." I replied in a calm tone.

Brax nodded. "Okay. I'm here if you need anything." He told me in a soft tone.

I think he must have been feeling some regret from the argument earlier, that's why he was being so nice now. I nodded and closed the door before laying back down on the bed. I glanced over to my draw where I had put my scissors and smiled. I was going to be okay.

The next morning I woke up and wandered into the kitchen to see Kyle and Brax eating breakfast.

"Hey mate, how you feeling?" Brax asked.

I just nodded and stared at them, my calming relief had gone and it was back to my overwhelmed thinking, so seeing them near me again made me still feel out of place being there.

"You want some breakfast Case? There are still some eggs in the pan." Kyle spoke.

"Yeah maybe later. I'm gonna go for a shower first."

I walked down to the bathroom, but before I walked into the shower I opened the bathroom cabinet. I couldn't shake this feeling that I had to do something. It was itching inside me. I felt angry and numb and it wasn't going away.

I pulled out one of Heath's old shaver razor blades and reminded myself of the sensation I felt the night before. I couldn't stop myself and in a surge of anger I pressed the blade against my left arm at the same pressure I had used for the scissors.

I gasped in pain as the blade cut the skin sharper than the scissors had. I noticed blood seeping down my arm. I was mesmerized and felt the same feeling of relief. I wiped the blade and placed it down with my clothes then went for my shower. I had battled against my wills again and won.

NORMAL POV

Casey walked into the kitchen and grabbed himself a plate of leftover scrambled eggs and sat at the kitchen table, opposite Kyle. He leaned across the table to grab the butter for his toast. Kyle stared at Casey's arm when he noticed a small speck of blood on his shirt.

"Ah Case, you're bleeding." Kyle stated.

"What?" Casey yelled defensively.

"Your arm." Kyle pointed.

Casey looked down and saw the blood from his wound from this morning had bled through his shirt.

By now Brax was also giving Casey a concerned glance.

"Ah yeah, I knocked it on...the bathroom cabinet, before I got in the shower clumsy huh?" Casey gave a laugh.

"You okay Case?" Brax asked, raising an eyebrow.

Casey gave Brax a nervous glance. "Yeah sure. It was just an accident."

Casey turned away and got stuck into eating his breakfast, hiding his arm away from sight as much as possible. As soon as Casey finished his breakfast he rushed back to his bedroom, Kyle and Brax swapping a glance.

"You think he's alright?" Kyle asked. Brax shrugged.

"Don't know, he seems better then he was but I couldn't decipher whether he was lying."

A few weeks passed and even though Casey was putting on a happy face Brax somehow still wasn't convinced, it just didn't make sense that Casey would turn from being angry and shutting everyone out to being suddenly happy. He still wasn't taking about the incident and that worried Brax more that Casey was going through some state of denial.

Casey was dressed in his full wet suit and grabbed his surfboard ready to walk out the door when Brax approached from the kitchen.

"Morning mate. You going for a surf?"

"Yeah it's great out there today, thought it'd help clear my head." Casey said.

Brax nodded. "Wait a sec and I'll come with you, we haven't been surfing together in ages."

Brax placed his coffee cup down and went to walk into his room to get changed. He wanted to take advantage of Casey's relaxed mood and hopefully get him to open up to him.

"No Brax. I'd like to just go by myself." Casey added.

Brax gave him a queried look and Casey returned with a fake laugh.

"It's not like that. Brax I know you're worried about me but I'm fine, honest. I understand everything now and I'm over it." Casey lied with a smile. "Look I'm gonna go, but I want to do this on my own. I'm okay Brax." Casey pushed.

Brax sighed. He didn't want Casey out of his sight but he remembered what Kyle had told him, pushing Casey and not giving him space wouldn't help him recover either.

"If you say so Case. Well enjoy your surf." Casey nodded and walked out the door.

Brax couldn't help wonder why Casey was wearing his full wet suit, it wasn't cold outside, and even then Casey barely ever wore his full wet suit. Brax shrugged it off and went back to drinking his coffee.

Casey stormed down to the beach. He felt angry and his head was spinning with all the thoughts in his head, but if it got Brax, Heath, and Kyle off his back forcing him to talk about how he felt then his fake act was working, he was dealing as best he could, now that he had a new release from his emotions, a means to forget everything going on in his mind and a way for him to function again with living with three strangers and feeling a new world around him.

Casey went into the surf and let the water rush over him. Running back onto the beach he sat down and watched the waves.

"Casey." Casey turned to see Josh walking up behind him. "Casey can we talk? I just want to get the chance to get to know you."

Casey ignored him. "Come on Casey please?"

As Casey stared at Josh he was again flooded with the numbness and anger in his mind, constantly fighting inside as he tried to compress it all. He was taken out of thought when he heard Andy yell.

"Josh!"

Andy ran up to Josh and pulled him away. "What are you doing talking to Casey. I thought I told you to stay away from him." Andy yelled.

"I have a right to get to know him Andy!" Josh snapped.

"No you don't, he's not our family. Get that through you're thick head and you too Casey. Keep away from my bother."

Casey could feel the anger building up inside him. He had to get out before he felt like his world would consume him. He was so angry and confused at his life he wanted to destroy everything inside him to make it go away. He wanted to drown his insides with alcohol until he couldn't feel anymore. Casey quickly stood up and raced towards Angelo's bar, ignoring Josh and Andy.